[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

S’gonna be a real big disappointment if she ain’t a baker now.

Aw, now you and Alfie are on my ass about dancin’. I don’t think I could get on my tippy toes so good.

Unless she knows where all the good bakeries are, in which case we’re all winners.

I’m starting to really love this Alfie kid. Oh, I think you could. You’re my family, bub, so it’s in your blood. You’d look great in a tutu, no doubt.

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

I’ll be sure to tell her you say so. Blair’s a real good ‘un.

Aw but, Cousin Summer, young Griff could be in the next Superbowl. And think of how great it’d be if we got matchin’ jerseys.

Good. And tell her that blueberry muffins are my favourite.

Aw, that’s real cute that you think you and Griff are gonna be in the next Superbowl together. But who’s to say he won’t take after me and dance his way to the top? I’ve had no luck yet, but ya never know. What about you, bub? Ever thought of taking up ballet? I could teach you!

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Well, Blair ain’t on the horizon. We like each other just fine, but as friends. I’m just hopin’ she’s the kinda friend who’ll bake for another friend.

Aw, Cousin Summer, can’t I just give you my puppy dog eyes?

Oh, well in that case, I think so long as she’s a friend that bakes for her other friends then I’m a huge fan. And I might make her my friend, too.

No! You can’t! I know your game, kiddo! You’re good at this, and I will not fall prey to your Southern charm!

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Hm, those seem pretty darn reasonable to me. I might see if Blair’s any good at bakin’, not ‘cause I’m tellin’ you that you should go right on and make a thing outta that, but I think Blair likes me well enough to make me cupcakes should I ask her.

Like I said, there ain’t no winnin’ over Aaron right now, so I think I should persuade young Griff to join my guys.

Ooh, Blair? Why is this the first time i’m hearing about a Blair? You said there were no girls on the horizon, Mister! You’re telling porkies? C’mon. Spill. But before you tell me all about Blair, go text her and find out if she can bake.

Alright, I’m gonna need you both to put together a well formulated plan. I want powerpoint presentations from you both on the merits of your chosen sport, presentations that I will not understand. But even so, and only then can I make my decision.

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

That so? I wanna hear ‘em.

Aw, c’mon, don’t you agree that Griff would look real cute in a football jersey? I can teach him all I know. Which ain’t all that much right now if I’m truly honest, but I’m learnin’!

My biggest, most important rule is don’t break Jimmy’s heart. That one’s pretty important to me. Also under ‘do’ is ‘do bring batches of cupcakes any time Jimmy invites you along to Cousin Summer’s apartment’. Break that one and they are out.

Ooh, I dunno, bub! You think he could be on the lacrosse and the football team? ‘Cause I think between you and Aaron there’s a little competition as to who can nab him first!

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

You gonna write up a criteria for ‘em?

I barely know any hotshot football players! I still don’t even understand what lacrosse is even about.

Yup. I have a whole list of dos and don’ts.

Oh, c’mon. It’s all sports, how different can it be. There’s a ball, right? And you’ve gotta get the ball... there are no nets in football, are there? God, teenage boys are hard work. I think I might have to set down a strict ‘no sports’ rule for Griff.

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Get to know her or get to know her? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure she’s taken.

You gonna interrogate the ladies I bring home, Cousin Summer?

You want me to buy my way into his favours with dino waffles? ‘Fraid I don’t actually know anythin’ about dinosaurs except that they’re all dead. And I can’t quite help but think mentionin’ that to our Aaron would only make him dislike me even more.

Oh, darn. Definitely the former, then.

You bet your butt I am! You don’t expect me to just let them steal my Jimmy away from me just like that, do ya?

Yeah, maybe don’t mention the whole ‘dead dinosaurs’ thing, that’s a good idea. But dino waffles are always a win. Or, tell him that he’s the next... Oh, shoot. You know any hotshot lacrosse players?

[srslysummer-blog]

@aaronsaurus: @macaulmemaybe i am so NOT calling you a lady.

@macaulmemaybe: @aaronsaurus Respect your elders, bub! It's Lady or Cousin, your call kiddo!

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Aw, now that’s real sweet! I don’t rightly know her all too well but that sure sounds like the little lady in question.

I guess the ladies and gents of New York just gotta deal with their broken hearts then, huh?

Aaron’s probably the most stubborn guy I know. I don’t see us gettin’ too friendly anytime soon. Not if he has anythin’ to do with it.

Maybe you should get to to know her! You’ve got that small town, smooth talking air about you, bub. 

See! There you are again. I can’t wait to meet the eventual lady you talk into your good graces, muffin. She won’t be subject to any shotguns or town sheriffs, but she might have a few questions to answer from yours truly.

Aw, he’s not all that bad, bub. When Aaron was 7, we went out for waffles, and he got all pouty because mine looked like a dinosaur and his didn’t. We switched plates and I was his favourite person for the rest of the day. Maybe star with dino-shaped waffles?

[srslysummer-blog]

@aaronsaurus: like, her name is just 'summer'... wtf...

@macaulmemaybe: @aaronsaurus That's LADY Summer to you, mister! :)

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Only by way of name. Amy’s roommate, right?

Aw, look at you carin’ ‘bout my love life. S’pose it’s only decent to ask yourself about yours now. What’s the word?

Y’know I’d be mighty pleased to see you sortin’ out the behinds of any lowlifes, but rest assured, Cousin Summer, I ain’t gettin’ any trouble from the boys so far. In fact, I think the only person who’s got a real problem with me is Aaron.

Oh, bub, I have no idea. Amy, though. She’s the one that makes all the cute cards? If she’s the kid i’m thinking of, she gave Foster a valentine’s card. How sweet is that? Homemade!

Ooh, nope. Nothing on that front. For the best, I think. I have a grand total of four men in my life right now, bub. Griff, Foster, you, and Aaron. All I need, honeybee.

Well, keep me updated all the same, yeah? Cousin Jimmy, you know I’d kick butt for you any day of the week. Though I am glad to hear they’re not giving you any trouble. As for Aaron, hm. He’ll come around, bub. I’m sure he doesn’t have a problem with your handsome little self, you know better than anyone that teenage boys are silly, and just straight up stubborn. You’ll be best buds in no time!

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Aw, Alf’s a college boy. One’a my teammates. Does Foster get that ‘daddy’ shtick too? 

Well, safe to say Griff’s alright so far, but I’ll let y’know if there’s a change on the protective police father front, huh? 

Aw, no girls and no boys neither. What’s weird is I get asked that a lot. Somethin’ about whole the football team ‘can’t throw straight’ is what folks are sayin’. 

Ooh, Foster gets it from a few students in particular. You don’t know an Atticus Danvers, do you? From over at the High School? Well, whoever the tiny menace is, he’s not shy.

Yes. Keep me updated on all things protective police father, or any father. Basically, muffin, keep me updated on your love life. I realise it’s none of my business, but here we are.

You mean the boy thing? That sounds a little like smartass lowlifes throwing around snide comments, bub. You’d tell me if anyone was picking on you, right? You know I won’t stand for any of that, not with my boys.

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

I don’t quite rightly think I could be anyone’s daddy right at the mo, even though Alfie told me differently at practise. But I don’t wanna be that kinda ‘daddy’ either. Aw, this was all the way back in Texas. New York’s actually treatin’ me real kind. No shotguns or sheriffs yet.

Ooh, who’s Alfie? Sounds like one of Foster’s students. This whole daddy thing is too much for my old lady brain. You kids and your weird slang, huh? Oh, I figured. I’d be a little concerned knowing I’m raising Griff in a city where the police department might gun him down for dating their daughters - and nope, the irony’s not lost on me there. But I’m glad New York’s treating you good, bub. Any pretty girls - or boys? Perhaps an Alfie? - on the horizon?

[srslysummer-blog]

.jsykjimmy:

Cousin Summer. I balk at that accusation. It ain’t true, lemme tell you that. I’m pretty sure if I did get that girl pregnant, I’d be a dead man by now. Her daddy did have a shotgun though, and her grandpops was the town sheriff.

That’s a good start. I love you, kid, but don’t you dare follow my footsteps with the whole teen parenting thing, yeah? Fatherhood wouldn’t suit you just yet. Neither would death, at that. So, some hick threatened you with a shotgun? Ah, welcome to New York, muffin. I’ve never been threatened by a sheriff or his shotgun wielding son, but maybe there’s a first time for everything?

[jsykjimmy-blog]

‘Welcome To The Family’ by Little Big Town may seem mighty unrealistic, but it sure as hell describes how my first ever ‘meet the folks’ shtick went down.

[srslysummer-blog]

Uh oh. What happened to ya, bucko? C’mon, you can tell me. Did you knock up some girly and get threatened with her daddy’s shotgun?

[srslysummer-blog]

↳INSTAGRAM: @macaulmemaybe uploaded a photo

Who’s this handsome fella, you ask? Only my best friend in the whole world. Happy birthday, Foster! I’m sorry about Griff jumping on your bed when it hit midnight, 11 year olds sure love a good birthday. I hope your day is as wonderfully perfect as you are. I love you, muffin. x

[srslysummer-blog]

TEXT: FOSTER

Summer: Hey there, buttercup. So, if by some stroke of complete insanity you find yourself awake at 5:30am on a Saturday morning, and you find that I am not home, do not be alarmed. I am not flaking on you on your birthday. Firstly, because I could never. Secondly, I have a son in the other room who I sorta, kinda like and have no plans on ditching either. I'll be gone for maybe an hour, but it's all part of your big birthday plans. If you're not awake, then good. Because that means you haven't noticed, and my insanely early texts haven't woken you.

Summer: ANYWAY, more to the point? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FOSTER GRIFFIN, LIGHT OF MY LIFE. MY HEART, MY SOUL, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY ALIVE. Thank you for being so incredible. You've been with me through everything, and I can't say that for literally anybody else in my life. From teenage acne to teenage pregnancies you had my back, boo bear. Without making it too weird, you're the only father Griffin has ever known. I'd wager that the kid loves you even more than I do.

Summer: I love you, muffin. And I hope you have the best day imaginable. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx