𝘣𝙧𝗼𝙠𝗲𝗇 𝗺𝗂𝗇𝖽

// I PRAYED MY MIND BE GOOD TO ME. //

[stagborne]

#𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄 ───  a  highly  selective,  mature  &  independent  depiction  of  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐌  from  𝑁𝐵𝐶'𝑆 𝐻𝐴𝑁𝑁𝐼𝐵𝐴𝐿 with minor infleunce from 𝑀𝐴𝑁𝐻𝑈𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑅 & 𝑅𝐸𝐷 𝐷𝑅𝐴𝐺𝑂𝑁.   ╱  as  destroyed  by  nic  (they/them,  31,  CST).

🔪 This blog is mature. 21+ only. Regarding the content found on this blog there will be a lot of MATURE subjects breached. From cannibalism, body horror, religious themes, murder, extreme violence, manipulation, various types of trauma, toxic behaviors and so on. PLEASE READ RULES BEFORE INTERACTING. dead doved: however, all the doves are the ones therewithin mentioned. really only horror-related triggers present.

𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 :   background/laws. prompts. verses. headcanons. 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : wanted plots. promo. threads. pinterest. playlist.

📌 BLOG ROLL: @freksh0w (oc) / @softw0und (multimuse) 📌 THREAD TRACKER

[kairenn-n]

yes, babe, you’re sick and twisted, will you come back to bed- what? yes, of course you’re evil and irredeemable. now can you please cuddle with me

[stagborne]

okay, cleaned out my following/followers with a billion soft blocks. i went from 320 to 40... y'all are the survivors. if i unfollowed anyone's second blog/multi just know i cannot keep up with who is who. there were prob some mistakes sprinkled into there. but that being said, if i kept u here i love u, i love our writing/ ur muse, and/or we haven't had enough time yet to write together.

(and if anyone stumbles across me unfollowing them pls know i am an ic interaction away from being mutuals again. <3 )

i will work on getting replies out to people now that i feel a lil less stressed but i do imagine replies will continue to be slow this month. but i feel a lot better with the prospect of just focusing on the ppl i've already came up with amazing dynamics/things with

[stagborne]

❝ … this is the cheesiest thing i’ve heard from you. ❞

“Don’t make me regret being nice to you.” The words are short but lack malice. In fact, Will’s eyes practically roll. If he were determined to be a little more indignant, he would have grumbled too. But he’s working on self-improvement, and Howard is a good litmus test for his patience.

He’s leaning against the counter in his kitchen, the same kitchen they had cleaned and disinfected, the same kitchen where they carried the bodies out in trash bags, the same kitchen where blood had specked every surface like an unfortunate stylistic touch. His arms crossed, “There are three missing men reported in a nearby town. The local police department are assigned to it. They’re going around asking questions.”

Will isn’t rattled as he should be. Perhaps he feels invincible, even if it was far from the reality of the situation. He only regrets he hadn’t staged the bodies.

[stagborne]

“ your nose is bleeding. ”

The way his finger dabs at his nose and comes back red indicates that, yes, his nose is bleeding. He shuffles around until he produces a crumpled napkin from his pocket, sniffing and tasting it on the back of his throat. Will winces. “Shit,” he grumbles. He’s fine– at least that is the mantra he continually repeats to himself. And it rings true. He IS fine, as fine as someone in his position could be. The long hours, the ever-evolving cases, his boss working him harder than a farm horse, and ultimately the toll looking takes on him. The nights have been restless, fueled simply on coffee and whatever food he can choke down when he manages to remember to eat. The days have begun to blur.

Now his body was putting in one final warning, it seemed. He offered a crooked smile, “Does blood make you squeamish?” Clark doesn’t seem like the type given their previous subjects of conversation. He likes to know anyway. Like he might spare him the inconvenience of witnessing Will’s body drip like all his organs had been crushed and pulverized, leaving nothing but the steady flow of regret from his nose.

[azzehkarla]

My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. U might have the strength and size but I have pure, unfiltered rage.

[ploytofino]

🍊P L O Y T O F I N O _______________________________ private & highly-selective original character ❝GALLOWS❞, Onofrio Tosto. A consigliere to the Giovino Family, located in Portofino, Italy.

_______________CARRD; dead dove; triggering content; MDNI______________

IN PORTOFINO, THE MAFIA EXPLORES: UNYIELDING LOYALTY, UNCONDITIONAL SACRIFICE, BLOODIED LOGIC, MOTHER'S FORGOTTEN LOVE, FATHER'S DROWNING SHADOW, JOYOUS DIVORCE, AND BLACK CHAMPAGNE!

[mistikfir]

“…occasionally covered in blood”

[diedindulvey]

Ethan is ready for a fight. He wants a fight. He wants to have violence and anger and desperation to fuel him so he can act without thinking; so he can shove Will away or knock him out or whatever he needs to do to be able to take off running. Run, run, and never look back so he can force as much distance between them as he needs to stuff the need to stay with Will, to keep Will, down far enough that it never hurts the other man. So Ethan never becomes the same pathetic monster Eveline was with her stupid fucking family issues.

But Will doesn't give him a fight. It's as much an unpleasant shock as finding the agent in the Baker estate had been. It shouldn't be as much a relief as that, but it is. Despite himself, something softens in Ethan. He doesn't want it to. He doesn't want to feel the fight drain out of his limbs when he's held. He doesn't want the ugly thing wrapped around his heart to ease at Will's words. He doesn't want to nod and let his fists fall to his sides. But it happens anyways.

After everything, Ethan should be better at this. He should be perfectly fine being alone. He's had years of practice after losing Mia and all the shit that came of it. Years where he could never really cope ending in his lack of hesitation to drop everything and go to his wife at the first message she sent him. At his core, he couldn't function then, and he's not sure he'll be able to function without Will now. The squirming, black thing inside of him knows it. It's too deep in his blood, his nerves, his brain not to. It longs for connection, too. A sickly sweet promise that everything will be fine if he just gives in and accepts that Will is his. And that he's never, ever going to lose Will. And Will wants to stay. With Ethan. Forever.

Despite knowing he shouldn't give in, and knowing it's safer for them both if he just leaves, Ethan's arms move on their own. Shakily, hesitantly, he wraps his arms around Will. He's been so fucking scared of himself and worried about what he might do, he never once considered that maybe Will wants this. Maybe Will has the same need for connection. How can Ethan deny them both? He can't.

"I don't want to leave you. And I don't want to stay here just waiting for people to decide what to do with us. But I can't- Will, if we go together, I can't let you go. I won't. And I don't- if you decide to leave me, I won't be able to handle that." He still remembers finding Mia in a fucking homemade jail cell. It doesn't both him as much as it should that some day he might have to keep Will there. Some day, he might hurt Will just to make him stay. The thought makes Ethan vaguely sick with the need to outrun it. As if that's the only way he knows how to deal with things he can't kill.

[stagborne]

Ethan is a fire that doesn’t stop until it razes everything down around him. Will has to adjust his technique; he wanted either of them to get out of this with a fighting chance. He cannot keep going at Ethan, hoping one day to appeal to his reason. He didn’t have any— the man came running the first moment he heard from a wife that had up and disappeared, no questions asked. That was just who he was. So Will can appeal to his emotion instead.

Will keeps him there for a long moment, locked in patient arms, and fingers threading to brush through Ethan’s hair as if to placate the man. Ushering him down from any reckless thoughts he had moments prior. Softening the blow of his own impending demise.

He does have that need for connection. It’s always come as a consequence to Will, taking different shapes throughout the years, always seeking what accepts him as he is. He is not required to change with Ethan, and perhaps that is terribly selfish of him. He’s never claimed to be anything other than what he is. Most of the time that means he’s insufferable, and other times, he is ready to open himself up and hand over any vital organ required to keep Ethan going. He does understand him to a degree, to know how deeply uncomfortable living is sometimes. To prefer your solitude because it was safe and better for everyone involved.

I can’t let you go.

Will’s breath is soft, feeling strangely responsible even though how Ethan was had nothing to do with him. He only exacerbated and accepted it. It wasn’t so unusual for abused people to turn to their captors for comfort. Will wasn’t any different in that regard; Ethan too, it seemed.

There, there he wants to say. Instead, his hand curves around Ethan’s nape, keeping him steady. “I do not need fragile hands, Ethan. If you cannot let go, then don’t. I am not asking you for anything eccept to not run from me. Anything but me.”

[stagborne]

3)  our muses take a shower together to wash blood off each other.  - @diedindulvey 😅

INBOX PROMPTS ╱ 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.

The motel has one of those big old jetted bathtubs. It sits right in the corner of the room adjacent to two stiff and uncomfortable looking beds. Will reasons it’s the practical option for them both to just use it. He has god knows what on him and he doesn’t even want to think about Ethan, if they’d find little bits of decayed skin in their hair. So whatever aversion he might have to the principle of it is quickly lost when he thinks about how badly he wants to clean underneath his nails.

There had been times when he bathed in the river during fishing trips far up in the mountains where no roads were paved, and electricity was a rarity. He had spent time at the academy where other trainees were occupying the same living dormitories as him. His stint at university with a public showering stall. He isn’t really shy as much as he is just private. Particularly now, considering how many questionable scars are left behind from unfortunate run-ins with the wrong people. He shrugs off his clothes, leaving them neatly piled in the corner to either be burned or thrown away. He doubts he could get the stains out of them now.

He dips one toe into the bubble bath, compliments to the cheap citrusy hotel soap to save them a little of their modesty until they dwindle, hissing as he sinks quickly into the depths of water. He dips his head, resurfacing a second later, brown curls springing back to life with the smallest exposure to moisture.

“Get in, I will wash your hair.” He offers, leaving space for the other, “Maybe even a soap beard.” He’s much too nonchalant, eyes capricious as they find purchase in a tiny dot on the wall. A water or mold stain, he guesses. His chin falls to his shoulder, right next to the healed-over bullet wound, a blooming scar that was a dark red in color. He has many others. But he imagines the sight of them wouldn’t disturb Ethan. Not when he has to look at himself in the mirror. He’s hardly intact himself. / @diedindulvey

[stagborne]

you're afraid because part of you still wants to live.

INBOX PROMPTS ╱ 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.

“Instinct is fundamentally different from desire, Ellie.” It was woven into everything they did. They could no more deny it than renounce their own flesh. No one reprimanded the animal in them for avoiding the bear trap.

“I’m not afraid of living. I just don’t know how. It feels like it’s diametrically opposed to how I am. The act of living.”

[stagborne]

🔥 + how often does will masturbate / when he does do it, is it mainly for stress relief, to satisfy urges, etc.?

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

*holds up my hands to count on my fingers*

The amount probably varies given his stress levels, his disposition, and how focused/absorbed into his job he is. He’s all over the place. Sometimes frequently.. Like a handful of times through the week and other times, he has dry spells that last months. Out of habit, he prob leans towards the latter. 💀 His reasons for doing as such also vary. He does often in relation to stress. I think for the same reason he sometimes doesn’t. I think masturbation would mostly be to satisfy the physical urge when he is more pent up. The physical release I imagine is nice for him when he’s a little too uptight.

Will also probably deprives himself a lot too. Sometimes it’s not right and lacks any incitement. He’s not so exploratory as he is just employing the function of masturbating. He needs therapy for sure.

[stagborne]

🔥 + how does will feel about sensory deprivation (being blindfolded, having his motion restricted, being gagged, etc.)?

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

I’m not sure he can be convinced to be bound at all. Even with the highest tier of trust and comfort for him, that would likely be a no. I do not think anything would move him from that hill. His limbs need to mostly be able to move around as he pleases. Blindfolds aren’t as much of a hard no, but there is still probably some varying level of resistance to the idea. Gagged, he could find it in him to do.

Though, if he could be convinced, I do think he would respond well to them, even his habits of blocking out the world himself. He’d be much more interested in utilizing these things on another than actively seeking it out himself.

[stagborne]

🔥 + this is mild but clothes, on or off during?

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

Both – but for different reasons. As much as Will plans and orchestrates things, particularly with his desires (only with people he’s down bad for tbh), he can be quite impulsive. There might not be time to take the clothes off. But he is also a deviant who wants to see everything. His preference? Probably none. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. He’s imaginative enough.

(Though I think if he lacks intimacy or closeness with the person, he’d prefer clothes on.)

[stagborne]

🔥 + will how hot do you like your wings thanks

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

“I presumably do not give off the impression that I can tolerate heat, but I was raised in Louisiana. It’s in my blood.” He murmurs, “Food's supposed to hurt a little. Otherwise it just tastes polite.”

[stagborne]

“where were you?”

INBOX PROMPTS ╱ 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.

“Not where you left me?” Will’s gaze is quick when it searches Lestat’s face, a small smile lacking any real warmth forming. “I do not see how that is any of your business.” He shrugs a little. “Whether I come or go, I always return, don't I? Should I leave a note on the fridge? Scribble a heart next to my name?” He bristles, walking past him. “Where were you?”

Needless to say, he’s had a bad day.

[resourcesofaqueen]

send 🔥 + a spicy question for my muse.

this could be a question about their kinks, about fantasies, about preferences etc.