gaymer

just a simple stardew valley blog (she/her)

[stardewvallesbian]

hello everyone who followed this blog like 4 years ago. just to update you all im a man now I'm sorry

[stardewvallesbian]

no greater satisfaction than getting a Neptune's Glaive on like day 10 of spring year 1. the RNG hits different

[meowithe]

shes just like me! (jk i dont eat rocks.... maybe)

[stardewvallesbian]

i exclusively consume stardew valley in the most neurodivergent ways possible

[maggotcat]

one of the funniest parts abt the stardew valley community is that no one questions the hat mouse. like yeah it's a mouse that lives in the woods? and sells u hats? what's the issue

[stardewvallesbian]

now why can't you be married and have krobus as a roommate? i just want my mean hot wife and our sewer gremlin son

[fanonical]

stardew valley takes place in a normal town filled with normal people next to a normal spooky mine full of completely regular stabbable ghosts

[rainymeadows]

shoutout to this person in the steam reviews for stardew valley who decided to share an apple pie recipe

[stardewvallesbian]

extremely bored from my quarantine so i might actually stream stardew this evening lol

[voidspace-bubble]

Broke: Emily dyes her hair blue and is naturally blonde like Haley

Woke: Haley dyes her hair blonde and and naturally has blue hair like Emily

[andengeu]

Omg it's been a while 😖 and i fell into the rabbit hole again 🦋🌻

[stardewvallesbian]

just remembered that i used to use tags to run this blog. simply too much effort

[dankmemeuniversity]

[stardewvallesbian]

im finally going to marry Haley just watch me

[stardewvallesbian]

what if we just started declaring stardew valley characters problematic

[dangergays]

joja mart guy that’s too boring for me to remember anything about him other than ‘he has weird glasses’ is very problematic

[dangergays]

im back to this post two years later and with much stronger opinions bc i dislike so many people in this game. mostly jokes ofc because this is in fact my favorite game but i still have very strong opinions and A Lot of Thoughts™

lewis is the absolute worst fucking mayor in existence. he built a gold statue of himself with taxpayer money while i have to fix the bus and minecarts, fill the museum, etc

i know its just a throwaway thing but god i wish there was a side quest where i can kill lewis and take over as mayor

i personally think jas knows about him and marnies affair too and i dont think she likes it so. fuck him even more

also marnie deserves better

pam is also the fucking worst

forcing her daughter to do literally everything while she drinks all day and sometimes drives a bus?? fuck her

fun fact penny is the only npc who doesnt like being gifted alcohol because of pam

shane i love you but please get help. that is all

also didnt jas’s parents die in a fire?? if so why is jas’s room connected to the house only by another room with a fireplace full of hay??

that is also one of the few fires in the game that cannot be turned off when you click it

why the fuck is marnie trying to murder jas

that is extremely suspicious

clint is weird as shit and if he wasnt the blacksmith i would literally never talk to him

his obsession with emily is very unsettling and if you date her then he talks to you about it like you’ve won a prize

and then he CONTINUES TO BE OBSESSED WITH HER

and it’s not like a cute innocent crush kind of obsession

it’s like if they didn’t live in a small town and see each other every day he would literally stalk her kind of obsession

also pierre is a bitch and i hate him

mostly bc of that cutscene after you give him 25 gold star vegetables where he tries to sell it for like THIRTY THOUSAND GOLD

AND THEN TRIES TO SELL IT BACK TO YOU FOR ONE GOLD MORE THAN YOU SOLD IT FOR??

i get that he’s trying to make a living but like. no need to be a bitch about it dude

i also hate morris. for obvious reasons

[stardewvallesbian]

points were made!!

[cringeisdeadandsoami]

I walk into the bar;

I am covered in dirt, scratches, and slime. I'm carrying a huge amethyst.

The bartender, turning to the lady behind the counter: Emily, your girlfriend's here!

[stardewvallesbian]

making my grand debut just in time for fall