@stargirlsstatic - Tumblr Blog

Idk man my nervous system gets regulated from walking really really fast and elbowing groups of people taking up the whole sidewalk. like that’s what makes me feel at peace

real footage of what me singing “my way”

#limp bizkit #life of a teenage girl #hot girls listen to limp bizkit #girlblog

womanguy

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

#heavy on this 💆‍♀️

whimsicalandpureofheart

Been digging my own grave and making my own bed and other such productive activities lately

we HAVE to come up with a cure for the terminal dread felt the day you have therapy. like it literally makes me feel better FYMMMM

#narp yaps

my sister asked what my hand sanitizer scent was and i said “hibiscus and banana leaf” but the real scent was “passion fruit and banana flower” which obviously makes a lot more sense but i think it a very good representation of my adjacent-to-the-idea way of thinking.

#narp yaps

“nothing is lost because nothing is mine”

WHAT ABOUT THE WORLD AND HOW ITS YOUR OYSTER? i mean like good for you but ive lost EVERYTHING

#narp yaps

i wish every time i thought about my past and miss it i had a chip to go off in my brain like an electrical wire.

FUUUUCK i just remembered!!!

februarytrash

before i learned to wear heels and mascara. glossier brow gel and these sticky lip gloss that always catch my hair. i always feel boyish.

i always wanted to compete with boys. in 5th grade PE class

i ran faster than boys. i get better grades than boys. i debate with boys i left them speechless and and i felt proud. i beat boys. once i broke boy’s tailbone at soccer. there’s something i wanted to prove badly.

mom told me my father’s parents always wish for a grandson. & they were heartbroken in the waiting room when she delivered me. when they found out i’m a granddaughter. they still love me to death. even tho i’ve never been a sweet girl till recently. my grandma got me dresses (ugly) and bought me everything i want. now she doesn’t remember me bc the dementia. her mental illness flow in the blood of our family tree. in the root. to my father and then to mi (i’m ok). i’m not sad or mad that she can’t remember me. i can’t change that, like how she can’t change the fact that im not a boy. a grandson. i’m a girl. technically im a woman now and im suppose to stop competing with boys. i need to let them win. i need to pretend im dumb. i need to surrender so i will be married eventually and have a son hopefully to make my / his family proud. to form a nuclear family as George Murdock proposed. i have to stop beating boys, i have to please them, i have to save them like virgin Mary. i have so many things to complete. i have to seduce them but deep down i want to break their bones. (fiction)

if god was real she’d replace the rage that fills me with something cool like. organs or blood

#narp yaps

met this cool guy yesterday and he was so head over heels for me it was adorable he gave me many compliments and told me his secrets and gave me a hug. he’s a friend of an old friend who honestly forgot about me but remembers who i am… kinda. he honestly was quite handsome and he was very sweet. very kind. respectful. he texted me- oh. at one in the morning… right. just what we’d like to see. but honestly he was asking my favorite color after saying “hey girlll” and calling me pretty and admitting (if you can call it that) that he really enjoyed our interactions yesterday. his words, not mine. and his favorite color is dark purple, if you were wondering. also he had his friend come over and say hi to me first and she was just the sweetest thing. maybe i’ll join the friend group. that’d be interesting. old friend was such a sweetie though. we took some photos together. i looked like a bum (can’t tell you the last time i washed my hair and i’ve been wearing this shirt for 3 days minimum. obviously i didn’t have any makeup on. they’re all lucky they caught me on a day in which i washed my face because last weeks mascara was still on earlier in the day.) and he thought i was just adorable. which i think is ideal. the concept of another having their eye caught on you - specifically as a straight-passing, mixed girl in a pw town who doesn’t go out of her way to be nice because i don’t fucking care about you - and also actually doing something about it is nice. i am sure this will happen more in college as i will see people my age and will not know them. hes only 7 months older than me. a capricorn. he was sure to tell me that. he also really likes traveling and making money. lil blue collar boy. i just tufted my cat a hat out of her own fur. very cute. i love my cat.

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