Starker Headcanon Blurb Thing #I can’t remember
When they start their relationship it’s like a bull out of the gates. It’s hard and fast. There’s sparks so many emotions and it’s like being high up on cloud nine.
They both easily fit into a routine together. Smiling and bouncing around each other like clockwork. It was like a beautiful little dance they did together each day that ended with cuddling in bed as they fell asleep together.
Ever so slowly the dance would change.
No more shares coffees in the morning. Tony would of made Peter a coffee but it would be cold and stale because it was made at two am.
The laundey was rarely done as Peter always did it when Tony went to fetch the mail and take out the trash but now Peter was taking out the trash.
The sticky notes that they left around the complex for each other started to twinkle and become one sided. Only peter putting up messages and he’d often find them untouched even if tony said he had seen them.
Their two pm calls started being delayed and missed until peter stopped asking. Finding himself feeling guilty and stupid for even asking for such a silly thing in the first place.
Their little cuddles on the terrace when peter had a bad day became peter cuddling a pillow as it stormed over head. Passing out on the deck chairs from crying and panicking.
The little brunches they would have in the lab when tony needed an extra hand or some company came to a stop as tony stopped asking for him. Sometimes peter would bring him sandwiches and would later find them discarded with a grumpy tony mad at him for not having brunch with him even though he had tried and been ignored.
Peter would snap after and tough battle and would scream at the top of his lungs from the bath tub. Tony would barge in with his repulsors and peter would have to explain what happened and the man would just be mad at him for screaming. Peter would be left to cry in the bathtub as Tony returned to his lab.
Peter would just be sitting in beg at three am in the morning with his hand where Tony’s body is meant to be. Silent tears running down his face as he wondered where his future husband was. He knew nothing about him. He was closed off now and unwilling to spend time with him. It was like the train was coming to a hault. Tony had won him over so why would he have to keep crying.
Peter would then become closed off himself. Having to turn to others for support. Like a random person on a discord server that they would talk about Supernatural for hours. Or on tumblr where they’d joke about starting a big ass family in a mansion together. Or on a lgbtq minecraft server where he vented to the only other person on the server about how alone he was even though he was surrounded by people.
“I’m not alone but seeing them not wanting me there makes me feel alone. Like I shouldn’t exist. That it would be better if I stopped showing up.”
And that what peter would do. He’d make himself scarce to protect his fragile heart. He’d slowly move his things back to his old room and tony wouldn’t notice.
He would stop turning up to meeting, stop carrying his phone with him, stop responding to Jarvis, Friday and Karen.
He’d dck behind walls, hide around corners, sneak into empty rooms and climb onto the roof or into the rafters to avoid everyone.
He’d become a ghost to the point that people would forget he was there. The only remind was the little sign on his door that said his name.
He’d end up on the roof somewhere sobbing his eyes out. Just laying on his back with his arms spread out screaming and crying about how his perfect life became a nightmare of his own making.
But he would never leave tony. He was there for whenever the man realised he was gone. For when tony decided to love him so passionately again.
Peter dreamt at night of tony running to him and hugging him for a thousand hours.
He just wanted his man back in his arms. He didn’t need the perfect life back. Just his man and he would be happy.
no this broke my heart i don't accept it i wanna fix it for those like me who need comfort after angst im sorry (not sorry)
Honest to god people didn't even know if they were dating anymore.
They barely even spoke to each other nowadays, Tony being the ignorant moron he was and Peter wishing he could just disappear.
They fell into a different type of routine, one that no one would describe as pleasant; Tony was trapped in a haze of work, cold coffee, yelling and short, uncomfortable naps in the lab, and Peter would silently avoid everyone, barely eat, barely sleep, just cry.
It was a bad mission that snapped them out of their routines.
A really bad mission.
There were aliens, or some weird monsters- a crack into the multiverse, a distortion of reality- a mess.
There was dust and blood everywhere, explosions- screaming, Tony barely heard it- someone calling his name from a distance-
When he turned, he saw the alien(? monster?? thing??) about to tackle him and most likely rip his head of
It never happened though, because of course Peter shot a web at his armour and pulled him away and up, next to where he was standing on top of a building, to safely.
It was quick, Tony barely noticed it- but there was a flash of worry in Peter's eyes, which was unexpected, after everything, but Peter still cared.
The boy hesitated, but he stepped closer and cupped his boyfriend's- if he could still call him that- cheek, and the man almost leaned into.
"Please be safe" it was a whisper, and a tear rolled down Peter's cheek before he pulled his mask over his head and swung away.
Tony froze for a moment- noticing the grief in the boy's eyes.
It felt like he finally saw him again, after months of his own stupid ignorance.
The battle seemed endless, and exhaustion eventually got the best of Peter.
He wasn't quick enough- if he only had more time - but before he knew it - something stabbed him in the back, through his chest.
The noise around him started to fade, and all he could hear was an unbearable ringing in his ear, somewhere close, someone was screaming his name desperately.
Everything went dark.
When Peter woke up, he felt warm.
Then he realised he could breath- but his chest hurt - a lot.
The light in the room he was in was dim, and someone was holding his hand.
He squeezed lightly.
He could recognise that hand anywhere-
"Tony-" he whispered, his voice hoarse, throat aching.
Tony seemed to wake up startled, and immediately direct all his attention to the boy.
"Pete- thank god" he whispered, voice raspy and shaky.
He grabbed his small, pale hand with both of his and kissed it softly, as the tears in his eyes slowly started to pour.
There were apologies- whispers and promises, gentle kisses, a lot of crying.
"I though i lost you- Pete -"
"You didn't, Tones I'm okay-"
"No, I mean... I mean the way i treated you- I was an ass -"
"I just missed you"
After that Tony started being more careful.
This time, it wasn't a spark that burned so bright and so fast that it burnt out in a few short months.
This time it was a flickering flame that had to be handled with care.
Peter still went to bed alone some nights, but he woke up with strong arms holding him close.
There weren't anymore notes on the fridge, but there was fresh coffee every morning in the kitchen.
There was no more yelling, there were long talks about each other's feelings, comforting touches, apologies.
There was still crying, worry, pain, fear of things going back to how they were, of Peter being neglected - But this time Tony would hold the boy close in his arms and whisper promises and apologies and just be there.
They weren't perfect- their relationship was a bumpy ride, but they were gonna try. And that was good enough for Peter.
So cute. I love it!!
