When the turtle incident at the beach happens the reader gets hurt saving the turtle đą and rafe snap. Everyone sees a different side of rafe
a/n: i LOVE this idea. - Unfortunately i feel like i didnât do it justice đ„Čđ„Č but hope you enjoy!! <3
âif i ever see you round my girl againâŠâ
pairings: s4 rafe cameron x kook but not kooky!reader [est. relationship]
warnings: S4 E4 SCENE DESCRIBED/USED (not sure if itâs really a spoiler tho as nothing plot wise is revealed) turtles being hurt, blood, death threat, canon rafe lol, use of swear words. (pls lemme know if i forgot any)
summary: you just wanted peace between everyone, unfortunately you and a turtle became collateral damage over a kook vs pogue contest. rafe is not happyâŠ
You were a kook? Well thatâs what your bank account said. However, you were closer with the pogues and basically hung out with them or your boyfriend.. rafe cameron. that was the weird part. It had been awkward since the pogues all returned from El Dorado. You had sort of become the middle man in between rafe and the pogues including his sister, sarah. It was an unspoken rule between you and rafe that you just donât talk about them with him which you respected. Heâll come around in his own time you thought.
When the swell came in, your boyfriend and his friends were eager to hit the beach and have a surf day to which you wouldnât turn down. meeting up at tannyhill, you saw that topper had bought his new girlfriend, ruthie who you werenât too keen on. You had mentioned this to rafe a while back but he said that it isnât yours or his business to get involved with toppers love life and told you to just stay away from her if you didnât like her to which you couldnât argue.
Arriving at the beach you saw your friends, jj, john b, kiara and sarah and quickly told rafe that you were going over to say hi. Rafe just mumbled something as he set up his towel and told you not to be long as he stared daggers at sarah.
âhey!â you wave jogging up to the pogues, hugging sarah then kie. âwhatâs up y/nn (your nickname)â kie asked. ânot much. just thought weâd hit the waves. i told them we should go a bit farther from here but they didnât listen⊠sorryâ you explained, knowing itâs best if the kooks and pogues donât cross paths today. âyouâre good. itâs them we donât trustâ jj butts in. âyeah, no. iâll tell them to lay off..â you smile then turn to sarah. âheâs trying. heâll come around. i know it..â you tell her, referring to rafe. Sarah just shrugs, pretending as if not being on good terms with her brother isnât bothering her. âwanna surf?â you smile and take sarahâs hand dragging her to the water as you both laugh.
After surfing with sarah and the pogues for a while, you had joined rafe on his towel and spent an hour or so just chilling with him. He showered you in attention and you did your best to ignore ruthies little comments about the pogues and how jj is a poor sport. At one point, rafe saw you side eye ruthie for shitting on the pogues again. âhey. donât frown.â he mumbles turning your head to face him and pats your cheek. âi donât get her problem rafe.â you sigh. âyeah it sucks, but cmonâ âno. itâs unnecessary. they arenât doing anything to her.â you tell him, referring to the pogues just minding their business apart from that tiny squabble with jj and topper in the ocean but topper didnât seem to care too much so why does ruthie? âi told you, ignore herâ rafe says a little sternly taking your hand in his, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. âyeah yeahâŠâ you smile as you peck him, letting it go as you didnât want ruthie to ruin the day.
While you packed up, unknown to you and rafe, ruthie was convincing topper to just ride the truck over to the pogues to mess up their set up. You in the meantime went over to the pogues to say bye, only to find them saving a turtle hatch in which you started assisting with. The next thing you know, you see ruthie driving her truck at a high speed straight at you. While sarah and kie do their best to get the turtles out of the way in time, you stand in front waving your hands trying to get ruthies attention to stop her. âhey! hey!!! stop! thereâs a hatch!â you call out but she doesnât hear you. you can vaguely see topper yell at ruthie, probably to stop but sheâs just laughing. kiara notices ruthie has no intention of stopping and quickly pulls you out the way.
Luckily no turtles were hurt at that point but you see ruthie circling around to go again. You stand up again, trying to stop her. Rafe has also noticed this and starts making his way over to get, in his words, your stupid ass out of the way. You realise ruthie yet again has no intention of stopping so you quickly go to pick up a turtle that was in the way but you get hit slightly by the truck, knocking you out.
âwhat the actual fuck?!â kiara yells rushing to you, she takes the turtles from you and calls for rafe whoâs at your side in seconds. He looks up at a shocked, somewhat guilty looking ruthie. âwhat the fuck is your problem?â he spits âdid you not see her fucking standing there telling you to stop!â he yells as he takes off his shirt to wrap around a bloody scrape on your knee from something in the sand. Overall you werenât too badly hurt but might need some stitches. That was enough for rafe to see red though.
As sarah goes to fetch water to splash you awake, ruthie stutters âi.. i thought sheâd get out the way. why would she just fucking stand the-â kie cuts her off âthere was a turtle hatch! look what you did! she was tryna save this turtleâ kie yells at her, showing her the hurt turtle to which ruthie turns her face away from. âwhy the fu-â rafe cuts himself off on questioning you to wake you up with the water sarah got. As you felt water being splashed on your face, you sit up. âwhat happened?â you groan. ây/n im so so sor-â ruthie starts to apologise but rafe cuts her off. âno. you shut the fuck up and stay away from my girlâ rafe snaps causing topper to get involved. âhey now rafe-â but again rafe cuts him off. âcontrol your bitch, topâ he huffs shutting topper and everyone else up.
He lifts you up and walks towards his truck. âmy head hurts..â you mumble. âi know baby.. gonna get you to the hospital aightâ he gently whispers to you to which you just nod. With a final âdonât pull shit like that againâ from rafe, he places you in the passengers seat before shutting the door and quickly going up to ruthie. âif i ever see you round my girl again⊠iâll kill youâ he murmurs up close to her face in a terrifyingly dangerous way. Apart from sarah and a few of the pogues, no one has ever seen rafe like that.. so scary.. so threatening⊠so murderous. Ruthie just nodded which was enough for rafe to leave the scene so he could take you to the hospital.
a/n: hope you enjoyed - kinda struggled to find a way to set the dynamic where reader is dating rafe but close to the pogues at this point in the show cuz i couldnât see rafes defending someone so furiously unless he was dating her đ
The BAU team meeting Hotchâs younger gf who looks like she walked off the front cover of a magazine & sheâs so bubbly and has a really comforting energy! How would they react????
The satisfying little clicks of heels against the marble floor wasnât enough to gain any of their attention usually, but accompanied by the delicately enchanting chimes of true laughter and sweet smell of baked goodsâeyes were immediately lifting to investigate to the scene.
âThank you so much!â An incredibly sweet, honeyed voice gushed genuinely, âhere, all of these are meant for my boyfriend but Iâm sure he wonât even notice.â
The team traded immensely interested looks as they surveyed the scene, Anderson (who was uncharacteristically blushing a bright flustered cherry red) was being handed a chocolate chip muffin byâwowâa startlingly gorgeous young women who was dressed in inviting soft colours and had a large sweet smile on her face that served to emphasise her lovely appearance.
âMy day just got a hundred times better.â Derek grinned, swivelling his chair sideways to speak to the rest of his team while barely taking his eyes off you.
âYouâre telling me.â Emilyâs mouth hung open a little as she leaned forwards on her elbows to look at you more closely.
âBehave.â JJ scolded before her brief look of reprimand melted under Emilyâs pointed stare, âsheâs looks so sweet I just wanna eat her.â
âShe has a boyfriend.â Spencer reminded them.
âWhatâ?â
âPretty boyâyou andââ
âOhâoh, no!â Spencer flustered, sputtering out the gulp of his coffee he had in his mouth (JJ handed him a napkin with a mothers readiness). âNotâI would be absolutely honouredâandâand, for lack of a sensical phrase, over the moon, to have a romantic relationship with a woman such as her butâno, unfortunately. Sheâshe said a few moments ago that has a boyfriend.â
âAh.â Emily blinked, a slow almost sheepish smirk on his lips, âI wasnât really listening to what she was saying, just watching her lips move.â
âPreach sister.â Derek leaned forward for a fist-bump which Emily easily gave, both of them nodding in solidarity.
âHello!â They all startled heavily as your gentle, happy voice chimed now much closer to them and mouths dropped subtly at just how beautiful you looked up close.
âWell hello sweetheart.â
âH-hi.â
âHi gorgeous.â
âHello!â
You blinked at them, an adorable giggle leaving you at the onslaught of greetings that came all at once. âHi! You wouldnât happen to know where Aaron Hotchnerâs office is would you?â
âHotch?â Emily furrowed her brows at you curiously and then seemed to forgot about, well, any of anything she was thinking as your bubbly smile and sparkling eyes turned her way and you gave a cheerful âyep!â âUmâjust, up those stairs, the first door at the top.â
âThank you very much.â You told her, voice as sweet as the packet of fizzy haribos hidden in her desk. âIt was lovely meeting you all, weâll probably be better acquainted later on.â
With a sparkly mischievous twinkle in your bright eyes and another adorable giggle, you took off in a small spin that sent the enchanting mix of your perfume and the baked goods wafting over to all of them and they all watched, entranced, as you climbed the steps to their bossâ office.
After several seconds of dazed silence, Spencer gasped.
âBoyfriendââ
âYeah I wouldnât mind being her boyfriend either.â Derek murmured. âAt allâreally, no sweat off my back.â
âHotch.â
JJâs mouth dropped open as she realised where Spencer was going with his train of thought, rolling back in her chair as they pointed at him in realisation.
âOh my God!â
âHotchâhotch, is her boyfriend..?â Spencer sounded extremely confused, mouth falling open and closing repeatedly.
âHuh?â
âReid, you are having a giggle.â
âNo, heâs right.â JJ confirmed, mouth open and eyebrows raised. âShe said she was here to see her boyfriend and sheâs gone to see Hotch. . 2 plus 2 equals. .â
â. . An incredibly brokenhearted Derek Morgan.â Derekâs own mouth dropped open, craning his neck to see what was going on in the office of his boss before realising that Hotch had shut the blinds. Derek gasped, that sneak.
âAnd a flummoxed Emily Prentiss.â
âBut sheâs soââ
âYeah.â
âAnd heâs likeââ
âLiterally!â
âWell, the last few months Hotch has been incredibly more relaxed, in fact his percentage of smiles given has gone up from a measly 30% to almost 84%, his laugh quota has reached high yet levels than Iâve ever known it to be. I had also noted that every Thursday he never goes home as late as he usually retires for the day and with this new revelation of a relationshipâI assume this correlates to their date nights.â
âIt does.â
Everyone turned in their chairs quickly to face their boss who now stood outside his office a faintly amused smile curving up his lips, at his side was you and you were wearing an amused and loving smile, eyes practically sparkling after Spencerâs speech on your boyfriendâs behaviour as they flickered up to said boyfriend beside you who looked down at you with soft, fond eyes.
âSo you figured out my secret.â You grinned at them all, taking in Spencerâs red cheeks and Emilyâs flabbergasted, dazed stare. âIâm Y/N, Aaronâs girlfriend!â
âDoesnât that just crush a manâs hopes and dreams.â Derek pouted quietly to himself, straightening up in alarm when his bossâ intense eyes zeroed in on him.
âHoney, this is JJââ The blonde gave a warm, welcoming smile and a wave, âSpencer,â said genius gave a tight lipped awkward smile, hands flailing awkwardly and cheeks a burning fiery red, feeling this pulse thump when they smiled back directly at him, âEmily and Derek.â Both of the aforementioned gave waves with half flirty-ish smirks and half genuine smiles.
The door to Rossiâs office opened and when he stepped out and saw you beside Aaron he smiled happily, walking towards you both.
âAh, Y/N!â He took you into an embrace, kissing both of your cheeks. âYou get more beautiful every time I see you, is this big brute treating you right?â
âAlways, Dave.â
He patted you on the shoulders, smiling, before turning to Aaron who was rolling his eyes at him fondly.
âLetâs keep it that way.â
âRossi!â Emilyâs astounded voice exclaimed, âyouâknow Y/Nâyou knew about thisââ
It was Daveâs turn to roll his eyes as he continued walking to descend down the stairs, tutting at her disappointedly.
âYou thought I wouldnât?â He countered, âwho do you think encouraged him to go for it?â
You laughed at that and your boyfriend smiled down at you fondly, looping an arm around your waistâseemingly forgetting he was in his place of work and needed to keep up the facade of stone cold, emotionless boss.
âWhatâRossiâget back hereââ Derek leaped up from his seat and trailed after the older man.
âWhat, you gonna come watch me take a leak?â
âIf it means we get some answers!â
âShoo parassita.â
All you could do was laugh again, smiling up at your boyfriend as his arm tightened around your waist and he pulled you closer into his side. You were very happy with your decision to come and deliver baked goods to him.
Summary: Y/n and Anthony are in an arranged marriage. When she stops trying to make the relationship work and be the perfect wife, Anthony realizes what he's lost. Will he be able to get her back?
(gif is not mine)
It wasn't the marriage she wanted. And it wasn't what he wanted, because, in fact, he didn't even want to be married. And he didn't mind showing it. But for Y/n, she tried to make the best of their unfortunate situation.
It all started at the beginning of the season when Violet Bridgerton decided that her firstborn had been single for too long. So, she spoke to Y/n's parents, who were good friends of hers, and they both decided that a marriage between the two would be beneficial to both families. Anthony was going to have the support of someone who would take Violet's place as Viscountess and Lady Bridgerton. For Y/n's life, in this society, having a husband was essential and this marriage would allow social advancement.
Thus, Anthony and Y/n agreed with this decision. The preparation for the wedding was carried out quickly and this event was the biggest news for days. Lady Whistledown didn't help matters either by immediately releasing an advert showing her doubts about Anthony having a wife.
This only worsened Y/n's mood, who already feared being married to Viscount Bridgerton, as she was now doubting all the lovers Anthony could take to their bed. Would he not respect their marriage? Did she just want an heir and take care of the children? With these doubts, she said the "I do" in front of hundreds of people watching the ceremony, and allowed just one tear to fall.
From the beginning, Anthony made a point of making it clear that their marriage was purely a compromise, and that he would never truly love her. He was going to fulfill his role and try to have an heir and outside the house, they would act like a happy couple, but it wouldn't go beyond that. In silence, Y/n just offered him a nod, showing that she understood.
However, since then, nothing has happened between them. Anthony allowed her to have her own room, something Y/n was more than grateful for. Having to look at the face of her husband who would never love her every time she fell asleep would be too painful.
She was expecting that on some nights he would enter her room to try to get her with child. But none of that happened, which only confused Y/n more. Was he so disgusted by the idea of being married to her that he didn't even want to have pleasure with her?
So she tried to distract herself with tasks that could take some of the work off Anthony's shoulders and try to be the perfect wife. But Anthony still refused to spend more than five minutes alone with her. At breakfast, he was already at the office when Y/n woke up to go eat, at night he preferred to spend time with his brothers instead of returning home. He was making everyone's life difficult and Y/n was starting to get more and more sad. Would this be her routine until the end of her life? Trying to please a husband who didn't want her?
It was on a summer afternoon that Y/n, upon returning from a social gathering with Anthony's mother and sister, realized how hot the mansion was. She quickly remembered how Viscount's office, the few times she had been there, was directly in the sun which made it even hotter. So she decided to be brave and try to have at least a friendly relationship with her husband, so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
With growing nerves, Y/n went to Anthony's office door and knocked on the wood. After hearing Anthony's voice, she opened the door, finding him plus Benedict, who had become good friends with Y/n.
"Oh, I apologize if I am interrupting." she said shyly, keeping to the doorway.
"You are." Anthony immediately agreed in a deep voice, not paying attention to her and turning his attention back to the papers.
At the same time, his brother hurried to assure Y/n, "You're not interrupting anything. You even saved me from Anthony's boring lecture here."
The woman smiled uncomfortably. "Right. I just came to bring you a cup of water. It's so warm outside. I wasn't aware you were here, Mr. Bridgerton, but I can go and also bring you some water."
"Thank you, Y/n, I wouldâ"
However, he couldn't finish his sentence as Anthony hit the table, causing his wife to jump in fright and immediately take a step back. Her reaction made Anthony's expression show some regret, but he quickly hid it. A silence fell between the three.
"I'm fed up, Y/n! Can't you understand that men are trying to work?! Go back to your life of looking at flowers and walking around without having to do anything and leave!"
Y/n's mouth opened and closed several times, trying to understand what had just happened. Finally, she pursed her lips and her eyes turned cold. "I apologize, Lord Bridgerton. It won't happen again. If you'll excuse me."
When she left the room, Benedict looked at his brother in shock. "That was so harsh. The poor girl was trying to be nice and cared enough to bring you a glass of water. If you don't want it, I'll have it. I'm talking about the glass and her."
"Don't you dare." he muttered with a clenched jaw, glaring furiously at Benedict. Where did this anger come from just thinking about Y/n with another man? "Now, let's go back to discuss how you spent money on a bet."
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââ
Y/n's behavior with Anthony changed completely. Everyone noticed that the Viscountess finally reached her limit, and stopped being the friendly wife, now looking coldly at her husband whenever they passed each other in the mansion. However, as a couple and heads of the family, they still had obligations to fulfill together.
Public appearances were more tense, but they still managed to keep a smile on their faces and talk to all the ladies who asked about their marriage and when they would have children, giving short answers so that nothing would end up in Lady Whistledown's hands. They also attended a horse race, even betting on different horses that would win. Y/n ended up winning the bet, and her smug look irritated Anthony for the rest of the day, something his brothers were quick to tease him about.
But despite not liking Anthony after his cruel words, which Y/n still thought about constantly, she adored his sisters and mother. They had accepted Y/n into the family, including her in their gatherings and even being a should to cry on. Daphne had already said more than once that she would have no problem going to Anthony and try to talk some sense into him, but Y/n refused. Anthony already didn't like her, if he thought she was turning his family against him he would hate her even more. And she didn't need to make her life worse than it already was.
One day, when she went with Anthony to the Bridgerton mansion to drop off some documents, Hyacinth, Anthony's younger sister, took her aside. Y/n followed the girl to the bathroom where she, with teary eyes and trembling lips, asked her if she was going to die when she started bleeding from her lady parts. Hyacinth also revealed to her that she wanted to go to her mother, but she had gone shopping with Francesca and was alone at home with just Collin. Y/n, very calmly and gently, assured her that it was a normal thing and that all women went through this, explaining what she should do.
It was no secret that Y/n was happy that Hyacinth trusted her with this scary situation and that she was able to help the girl. Despite all the problems in her marriage, she now had a role in helping Anthony's sisters and she never wanted to fail in that.
To Y/n's surprise, Hyacinth ended up giving her a big hug, remaining attached to her for the rest of the afternoon. Her period was making her so affectionate, more than she already was, that Y/n couldn't stop a big smile from appearing on her face at receiving so much affection.
Anthony, when he finally finished talking to Collin about the documents he brought, I was surprised to see his sister on the couch hugging Y/n. "Hyacinth, what are you doing?"
"Hugging my sister-in-law, brother. But you don't know what that is, do you?" she snapped. The girl's change in mood made Y/n have to put a hand over her mouth to keep Anthony from hearing the laughter that escaped her.
The shock on Anthony's face was comical. His little sister was basically choosing Y/n over him. And in truth, he didn't judge her because his wife was, without a doubt, better than him. And she deserved so much better.
On the other hand, his heart warmed when he saw the bond that the two had created. It was clear that Y/n felt great affection for his family. Could it be that if he had accepted this marriage from the beginning, they would now be a happy family? That they would spend afternoons together, cuddling on the couch and talking to his siblings? All these thoughts were racing through his mind, and the guilt was growing so much that he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Lord Bridgerton?" that sweet voice he had come to adore brought him out of his thoughts. He hated that since he snapped at her, she never called him by his first name again.
"What?" he asked, still disoriented.
Y/n was looking at him like he was stupid. "I asked if you were ready to leave. Hyacinth already went to her room to rest. I would like to do the same. So you must make haste."
Her bossy tone almost made his lips curl into a smile, but he controlled himself in time. "Of course, wife. We shall leave now. But I have to ask, what happened between you and my sister?"
"All you need to know is that she's fine and she's a woman now. But don't worry, as your wife, I'll handle these situations. Unless you prefer me to go look at the flowers, take a walk, and do nothing?"
The hint, which was delivered with great anger, caused the man to blush in shame and lower his head. Y/n didn't wait for his answer, taking her coat from a maid and walking to the carriage. He had screwed everything up.
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââ
A few more days had passed and the situation between Y/n and Anthony had only gotten stranger. The day after the situation with Hyacinth, Y/n was coming down from her room to go get breakfast, as she always did, when she came across Anthony at the table, appearing to be waiting for her to eat.
Y/n stopped abruptly, looking at him in shock. "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for you so we can have breakfast. I have to go see my brothers again today to talk business, so I was thinking you could come with me and spend some time with my sisters. My mother She's also been saying how she hasn't seen you in a while. That is, only if you want to go. If not, I'll just go⊠Or I'll stay here to keep you company, whatever you want." he choked up, finishing his speech by drinking some milk, perhaps to calm his nerves.
Y/n remained in place without moving. She looked at Anthony strangely, as if doubting that those words had even come out of his mouth.
"It was silly of me to askâ"
"No," she interrupted him. "It's fine. I would actually like to go and spend time with your sisters. They are lovely. I shall go get ready then."
"Aren't you going to have breakfast with me first?"
"Lord Bridgerton, I've been eating breakfast alone since we got married and I came to live with you. I think you can handle doing the same for a day. Excuse me." she said with an exaggerated smile, turning her back on him and starting to go back to her room. However, she turned back to go get a cake that was on the table. "But I'm hungry so I will eat this in my chambers."
"Call me Anthony!" he exclaimed before she was completely gone. He had a desperate look, almost looking like he needed to hear his name come out of her lips.
"No."
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââ
Like every year, the Queen decided to throw a ball to celebrate the Diamond of the Season. The most eligible maiden on the marriage market. Y/n still remembers the first ball she attended â Daphne was the diamond of the season, but Y/n also managed to dance with a few suitors. Of course, in the end, she didn't end up marrying any of them. However, the nerves she felt at that ball were equal to or less than what she felt today: her first ball married to Anthony.
The Viscount and Viscountess had entered together, her hand resting on his arm, followed by Violet and the rest of his siblings. Tonight they would have to be on the lookout for suitors who might want to dance with Francesca, the diamond of the season.
Anthony quietly appreciated his wife. She looked breathtaking in her dress, her hair neatly tied back that showed off her majestic earrings, given by Anthony on their wedding day. He was proud to have a wife like Y/n, and he regreted that he hadn't shown it since day one.
While the Bridgertons started to go their own way, interacting with other people and dancing, Y/n preferred to stay in the corner watching the couples dancing. She longed to experience that with Anthony, but not in a forced way like some were. No, she wanted it to be felt, for them to dance to the music and really appreciate that moment.
But instead of her husband approaching her, it was another man, Earl Cavendish. Y/n remembered some moments when she had already seen him, as he was looking to get married this season. As she approached her, with a confident air, Y/n lowered her head to compliment him, "Good afternoon, Earl Cavendish."
"Lady Bridgerton, a pleasure to meet you. I must say, you look flawless. Would you give me the pleasure of dancing with me?" he extended his hand.
Y/n's eyes widened, not knowing what to do. People had already started looking at them, whispering among themselves. However, she didn't have to respond to the invitation as she felt an arm wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him.
"Excuse me, Earl Cavendish, but I want to have the pleasure of dancing with my beautiful wife first." Anthony said with his jaw clenched, looking him up and down menacingly. "I'm sure you will be able to find other ladies to dance with tonight. Just not my wife."
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to back down. Anthony grew more and more furious, her wrists clenching and bringing Y/n even closer to him, but careful not to hurt her.
"Very well. I shall leave. I hope to see you again someday, Lady Bridgerton."
"I will â" Anthony began by exclaiming in anger as the Earl walked towards another woman, not having liked the way he looked at what was his.
"You will do nothing." the Viscountess snapped coldly. "I can't understand you, you ignore me, you treat me badly, and then you act protective when another man shows interest in me? I never said anything about you having lovers, even though I didn't like that in our marriage."
"What? I've never disrespected our marriage like that, Y/n. In the past I've done a lot of things, but since we got married the only woman I'll look at and touch is you. I don't want anyone else."
"You have a funny way of showing it." she laughed sarcastically, feeling increasingly emotional. "I have to go get some air. You should go check on Francesca again."
Feeling the cold night air, Y/n's heart began to calm down. It was so difficult having to deal with Anthony's changes of attitude, she couldn't understand him. She just wanted to be loved, and since that wasn't possible, she preferred that they stay as far away from each other as possible since being friends didn't seem to be an option either.
"I'm sorry." the voice she had come to know so well whispered behind her. Y/n refused to turn around, leaning against the balcony and taking deep breaths to control her emotions. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I know that marrying me shouldn't have been your choice either, but I was scared. I was scared to have a wife, because that meant I had another person in my life that I could lose ."
She finally had the courage to turn around and look into Anthony's brown eyes. They held back tears and showed the sadness, regret and anger that Anthony felt.
"I'm so angry with myself for the way I treated you. You deserve so much better than this. And I'm sorry I couldn't give you that. The cruel words I said to you but didn't mean. I was scared to let you in. in my heart, so I tried to push you away. Believe that all I want is to have you in my arms. To love you. To start a family with you. Please, I promise I will do better. And every day I will try to reward you for what you do.
"Lord Bridgertonâ"
"Please, call me Anthony. It pains me when you call me like that. Reminds me that I was⊠Am so close to losing the best thing of my life. I will kneel before you and beg for forgiveness if that's what you want." he murmured with a hand over his heart, beginning to kneel on the ground without hesitation.
"There is no need for that⊠Anthony." she enjoyed seeing the relief and happiness that spread across his face upon hearing his first name. "I just don't understand why you didn't love me? And now you want to try to make our marriage work?"
"That's the thing, I have always loved you. I love you. My whole body, my heart, feels love for you. That has never changed." he revealed desperately. "I was a coward and didn't know how to deal with my feelings. Because they are so strong that my heart feels like it's going to come out of my chest. Please, give me another chance."
"Hmm, I don't now." The look of disappointment was so marked on Anthony's face, almost looking like he was ready to burst into tears, that Y/n stopped his suffering and showed him an amused smile, making him understand that she was joking. "I think I want you to suffer a little more to get my forgiveness."
"I will do anything for you, Y/n. Ask me the world and I will give it to you."
"Such a romantic now, aren't you?" she whispered, admiring his features.
She didn't realize their faces were so close until she felt his nose trace the delicate skin of her cheek. A gasp escaped her mouth, and Anthony took the opportunity to connect their lips in an unforgettable kiss.
Anthony pulled away quicker than he wanted, but he needed to make sure this was really what his wife wanted. "I love you."
"Kiss me again, and maybe I will also tell you that."
And what his wife wanted, he did. The two remained on the balcony, enjoying the comfort the other gave them. They still had a long way to go, but they knew that from that moment on, their lives would change drastically for the better. They had each other.
plot: as the wife of benedict bridgerton, you're always fixing his clothes and readjusting his collar and as your husband, he's always smoothing your dress down when you get out of the carriage... you don't realise but these traits get passed onto your children.
requested by anon
"Remember," you said as you took Benedict's hand as he helped you out of the carriage, "it's Colin's birthday, not yours, so please... let him enjoy his day without you and Anthony winding him up."
Benedict smiled at you widely, "Me? Annoy Colin? Well, I never." You rolled your eyes. Your husband, being the wonderfully kind man he was, then proceeded to circle you, smoothing your dress down if it had hitched up or gotten a little crumpled. Once finished, he stood in front of you and you straightened his lapel and his collar.
This had been a ritual for the two of you since your courting days. It started when Benedict had came to you with a bunch of flowers when he was calling on you one morning and you brushed off some petals from his shoulder and then in that same morning, he had wiped the tiniest speck of jam from your dress. Since then, the two of you had a routine in place of helping the other sort themselves out.
"Beautiful," Benedict smiled before placing a soft kiss on your knuckles where your wedding ring sat, "Right," he straightened and clapped, "come along children!"
One by one, your four children clamber out of the carriage. Charles comes first, holding his hand to help his sister Alexandra, then waits for William and lastly, the three help Violet as she was the youngest and also the clumsiest.
As the children are climbing out, you and Benedict find yourself in conversation about something else entirely and it is only when you hear the words, "Oh, honestly, Violet! You always seem to get yourself into such a muddle!" that you turn your attention to your children.
Your face stretches into a wide smile, "Ben, look."
William and Charles stood facing each other, straightening their collars, "Is that good?" They each nod before they look to Alexandra. Charles smooths down an unruly wisp of hair, tucking it behind her ear, while William smooths down the ruffles on her shoulder. Lastly, they all help their youngest sister, Violet. Charles wipes crumbs from her cheeks, Alexandra readjusts the hairband in her hair and William brushes her dress so it sits nicely.
They turn back to their parents who are... crying?
"Mama," Charles frowns, "are you well?"
You sniff, wiping your eyes with Benedict's handkerchief he handed you, "All is well, my love," you smiled, "It is just so nice to see you all looking out for each other."
"You fight like cat and dog but like your mother said, it is spectacular watching you look out for each other," Benedict smiles, clapping Charles on the shoulder.
The children don't understand the big deal, they glance at one another before Charles shrugs, "It is what we see you and Mama do each and every day. You make sure that you are both presentable and attractive, it is nice to look out for each other, is it not?"
You nod quickly, giving each of your children a kiss on the forehead, "Mama," William groans, "now we all have lipstick on our foreheads!" You laugh and hand Charles Benedict's handkerchief and one by one, they each wipe the lipstick off of each other's foreheads.
"Oh, we did good, did we not?" You ask quietly, melting into your husband's embrace.
"We certainly did." He presses a kiss to your forehead, "We really did."
summary as children, you and rafe were best friends, but then tragedy suddenly struck his family and he shut everybody out. years later, you need his help when a pushy ex-boyfriend wonât leave you alone. rafe is perfect for the job because everybodyâs afraid of him. except for you.
content warnings stalker ex, violence, smut, substance abuse, death and mourning of parent
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· · ââ àŁȘ âč àŁȘ ââ · ·
You can hear gentle taps on the window behind you. At some point since you got back from the marina, it mustâve started raining. Youâve been too absorbed in your time with Rafe to notice until now.
Even though youâre trying to process what he just said, your instinct is to hope for his sake that it doesnât storm. Because your instinct has always been to worry about him. His was always to avoid you. And now, if you actually heard him right, you know the real reason why.
Youâre suspended in time as you stand in front of him in your kitchen, trying to silently compel him to look at you again. But his eyes are focused on the floor.
You were just upstairs, touching in the most intimate way, giving each other the best kind of pleasure. Now, in a matter of a minute, a chasm has opened up between you again. Rafeâs chest is rising and falling faster with every second that passes.
âWhatâd you just say?â you ask.
âI wasâŠâ Rafe shuffles in place, his temples beginning to throb. âFuck. I was never going to tell you.â
âWhat do you mean because of me?â you echo his words, your legs weakening.
Hearing your voice sound so faint, a harsh contrast from the soothing, careful way you always speak to him, makes his chest tighten.
âGoddamn it,â Rafe mutters. âWhyâd you have to push me to talk when I - I said I didnât want to talk?â
His feet carry him to the other end of the counter just to create some distance. He figures it should be easy because for so long, itâs been second nature for him stay away from you. But he hates that he canât touch you right now. This moment is too tense, the words he said too ugly.
Rafe finally meets your gaze. Every other time he thought you looked sad or scared or broken is nothing compared to the way your face is knitted in misery right now.
His darkest secret is out. He told himself heâd take it to the grave. But he just changed everything. He shoved a dagger into the heart of the only person who truly cares about him. And thereâs no undoing it.
âWhat do you mean because of me?â you repeat.
Rafe swallows the lump in his throat. He knew you were wrong; heâs not good like you said he is. This proves it. Heâs sick. Thereâs something wrong with him because a good person wouldnât blurt what he just said out, no matter how much pressure they were under.
He nervously grips the edge of the counter.
âRafe,â you urge. His head hangs low.
âIt was right before your birthday,â he mutters. âDo you remember?â
âOf course I-â You inhale a sharp breath. âOf course I remember.â
After what happened, you cancelled your eleventh birthday party. You didnât want to celebrate anything for years afterwards.
âDid that have⊠something to do with it?â you ask.
Rafeâs body goes cold. It had everything to do with it.
He begged his mother to go. She told him there were warnings on tv about a storm and that they could go the next day, that there was time, but he had to be such a brat about it that she finally agreed. She always gave into him.
âYou never stopped talking about how excited you were for it,â he says, âand I wanted to get you something great and I made her take me. And youâŠâ
His gaze hardens. This was supposed to stay locked inside him forever. At some point, behind his back, you got the key.
Your heart is in a vice. Youâre waiting for him to say this is a cruel joke.
âYou know what?â he huffs. âI donât even remember what I was so determined to get you. I just rememberâŠâ
He pinches the bridge of his nose, a short, boyish whine escaping his mouth as he hears the sound of the tires skidding in his mind, over and over again. They didnât even make it to the store.
You want to rush to him. To hold him. To let him dampen your shirt with his tears again. But you canât. Youâre frozen.
This is why Rafe never wanted you in his life. Youâre not just a reminder. It was never that simple. Youâre the reason for his suffering. And you can touch him and laugh with him and kiss him as many times as you want, but youâre sure heâll never see past it.
He doesnât have to tell you why he kept this from you. Itâs clear. He didnât want to hurt you. You thought he was being cruel all these years, but he was protecting both of you from this very moment.
You imagine the boy you knew, in the car, watching his world end because he wanted to be a good best friend to you. He was always sweet. Always doing what he could to show the people he loved that he loved them. And he paid for it in the worst way.
Youâre crashing into a painful realization, as if the lights were just turned on, burning your eyes after youâd been sitting in the dark for years.
âIâŠâ you begin. But youâre weak. Speechless. You hold the back of a chair at the kitchen table for stability.
For once, youâre not touching Rafe to comfort him as he cries. On top of the shame and frustration and guilt heâs feeling, a sense of loneliness to sinks into him. He doesnât know if heâd push you away if you came to him. But youâre not even going to try?
The sharp, comfortable feeling of anger overshadows it all. Like always. Being mad is the most familiar state for him to be in. Especially when itâs himself heâs angry at.
âAnd I just kept asking until she agreed to take me,â he mutters.
You can hear it in his voice that he blames himself, too. And if thereâs anything you can do for him, itâs take away his pain. Itâs what youâve wanted to do for him for so long.
Guilt rips you into you. A hot tear rolls over your cheek. If Rafe has to blame you, if itâs defence mechanism, his way to cope, you can live with being the bad guy in his story. Because you love him. Youâre afraid you always will.
Your phone rings in your pocket, blaring in your kitchen. Youâve had it on loud so you couldnât miss a call from your parents just in case.
You clumsily rush to grab it and turn the sound off. You hang up before even looking at whoâs calling.
âWho is it?â he asks.
âIt doesnât matter,â you say.
âWho is it?â he says more sternly.
You look at the notification. Your lawyer. You called her after the cops found the tracker on your car to update her. Youâre sure you discussed everything you needed to. Whatâs she doing calling at almost nine at night?
âMy lawyer,â you say.
âCall her back,â he orders.
âI can do it later.â
Rafe only says your name, his mouth a firm line. You hate that heâs talking to you like this again, as if heâs mad at you for existing around him.
But heâs right. She might have some important news. Your hands are shaking as you tap on your screen to call your lawyer back on speakerphone. She answers after the first ring.
âSorry I called so late, but I wanted to let you know,â she says, âI hounded the police and I finally just got confirmation that they took Ty into custody.â
âHe was arrested?â you say. You meet Rafeâs eyes. In the midst of all this, for a second, he forgot youâve been living in your own horror.
âYes,â she replies. âHeâs been charged with the unlawful installation of a tracking device. They traced it back to him. They donât always arrest for a misdemeanor, but I think the fact that you already had an order out against him helped.â
âOkay,â you breathe. âThank you.â
âAgain, Iâm so sorry youâre going through this,â she says. âYou did the right thing fighting back. I wanted to keep you updated. Call me if you have any questions. Have a good night.â
âThank you,â you say. âYou, too.â
You hang up the phone and realize you donât even feel a morsel of relief that Ty has been arrested. Because Rafe just dropped something so earth-shattering on you that youâre not sure youâll ever be the same again.
You donât even discuss the call you both just heard. You stick to your private vow. You have to. He can blame you. He can hate you. He can feel whatever he wants if itâll ease his suffering.
âYouâre right,â you say quietly. You sit down, unable to hold yourself up any longer. âYouâre right. You just wanted to be a good friend. Itâs my fault. Iâm so sorry.â
It doesnât feel entirely dishonest taking the blame. They were on the freeway because of you. If you and Rafe never became friends, if you never fell into his life, heâd still have a mother.
His words from earlier when this all started ring in your head. We canât do this. This conversation? Or everything?
âItâs always going to be hard for you to be around me, isnât it?â you ask, desperate for the clarity. Because if itâs true, itâs better you know now.
Just this morning, he said you were friends again. Then in your room, you did something people who are much more than just friends do. And now, you might be doomed to going back to being nothing. Unless he denies it. Again, hope finds its way in your heart like it always does when it comes to him.
Rafeâs stare is distant. He grips the countertop even tighter.
âI donât know,â he says. Truthfully, he exists in two places at once when heâs with you. He feels both peace and disarray. Both bitter and sweet.
You nod slowly, standing on wobbly knees to find a paper towel to wipe your tears away with. You stand by the sink with your back to him, rubbing it beneath your eyes.
I donât know. Itâs the worst answer he could give you. At least if he gave a definitive yes or no, youâd know what the future will look like. But I donât know is what keeps hope alive, and you know by now the pain that hope can bring.
âIâm so sorry,â you repeat, muffled. âIf you never met meâŠâ
You think back to sitting next to him in the police station waiting room. He wrote in your birthday on that form without hesitation. He didnât even need to think about it. And you know now itâs because heâs doomed to remember that date forever.
âYou donât have to stay here,â you finally say. âYou can go home. I get it. I get why you never wanted to talk to me.â
You let out a shaky sigh, regretting the years you spent trying to reconnect with him. You were unknowingly hurting him every time.
The guilt sitting on your heart is so heavy that youâre sure itâll never leave you. While you thought he kept you at a distance because of grief, because of the role you played in reminding him, you realize that was only scratching the surface.
Rafeâs eyes are trained on you on the other side of the room, watching your body tremble.
âIâm staying,â he says resolutely. You turn to look at him from across the kitchen. His eyes gleam with tears.
âHe was arrested,â you reply. âHe canât hurt me.â
Rafe studies you. You look how you did the night this all started, when you rushed to him, asking him to pretend to be your boyfriend.
âBut youâre still scared,â he says.
âI think Iâll be scared for a while,â you admit. Ty is still out there. Even behind bars, heâs someone plotting to own you. You try to push past the fear for Rafeâs sake. âBut he canât hurt me.â
âI told you that Iâm staying with you until your parents get back,â Rafe says.
You feel like youâre spiralling. You know he kept this from you for a noble reason, but the realization that he always blamed you feels like itâs chipping away at you by the second.
âItâs okay,â you say. âYour job is done. You donât have to do this anymore.â
âYes, I do,â Rafe counters. You grimace. Heâs being so stubborn. The rack of guilt, shock, and confusion has your mind racing.
âWhy did we do⊠what we did upstairs?â you ask. âWhy did you say you felt something for me?â
Rafe exhales slowly. Kissing and touching you like that was euphoric. He wants that feeling, again and again, without the ugliness of your shared history following both of you.
âBecause I do,â he answers honestly. You twist your lips in sadness.
âYou do,â you say, âbut you donât want me in your life?â
Rafeâs quiet, his expression unreadable. Suddenly, you feel selfish and ashamed to be confronting him about this after he revealed something so painful.
âForget it. Iâm sorry,â you say. You toss the damp paper towel in the trash. âIf you want to stay, you can. But if you want to go, I get it. Iâll be in my room.â
You start to tread out of the kitchen, a sniffling mess at this point. You feel worse than ever for pestering him with your questions after he opened up to you.
Youâre sure youâve both spent more time crying than smiling since you tumbled into each otherâs lives again. Maybe itâs best for both of you to be nothing. Itâs not what your heart wants, but being together seems to bring you both more pain than happiness.
You turn, figuring this may be your only chance to tell him how sorry you are. If tonightâs your last night together and you go back to being strangers after this, you need him to know.
âI know nothing I say or do can make it better, but Iâm so sorry for everything you went through. And Iâm so sorry I was the reason for it,â you say, meeting his gaze from across the room. âI never stopped missing you. But I get it. We donât have to be friends or⊠be anything. Weâll go back to how it was. This time, I wonât keep bothering you.â
Rafe watches you leave. The weight in the pit of his stomach gets a million times heavier. He would do anything to take back telling you the truth.
Youâre curled up in a ball under your blanket, your throat growing sore from crying. You tried to break this arrangement with Rafe off the day he told you that you were always going to remind him of what happened. You told him all you do is hurt each other.
But he pushed. He said he wanted to take care of you. Youâre almost angry at him for not letting you end it then. But as painful as the truth he dropped on you tonight is, youâre glad you know.
Youâd rather take the blame for him. Youâd rather never have to wonder what he meant when he said you did do something wrong, but not on purpose.
But you are angry at him for kissing you. For touching you. It gave him another piece of your heart that you can never get back.
Rafe is still hunched over in the kitchen. He fucked up. Youâre upstairs, devastated, because of him. Since this started, youâve been so worried about bothering him. You said he tolerates you. And he put so much effort into making sure you didnât feel like a burden, but he just undid it all.
The way you apologized was like you were saying sorry for existing. Whatever he had left of a heart had been wrung out. He needs a distraction. But you canât give it to him, because itâs you he needs the distraction from.
You eventually get to a point where you canât cry anymore. Youâre numb. You spend every passing minute hoping Rafe will come into your room to try to convince you that you can make each other happy.
But he doesnât. You fall asleep alone.
A loud bang wakes you up. Your instinct tells you itâs Ty. A few seconds later, consciousness gets a hold of you and you remember your phone call. Heâs in police custody. He canât be here.
You sit up in the dark. Another bang outside. Itâs still raining but the noises arenât rolls of thunder like a few nights ago.
Rafe didnât leave. If he did, he wouldâve needed you to disarm the security system. You check the time. Itâs nearing three in the morning.
Another thud. At this point, youâre scared. You need to find him.
Youâre already panting when you reach the guest room. You knock on the ajar door.
âRafe?â you mumble.
To your relief, you hear his tired hmm? from the other side of the door.
âI keep hearing noises from outside,â you say. âI think someone might be out there.â
The bed squeaks with his weight shifting and a moment later, you hear the unmistakable sound of him pulling out and pushing in the magazine of his gun. It adds yet another layer of fear onto you.
âWhere?â Rafe asks as he steps out of the room.
You guide him in the dark to the window by your bed. You watch him lean to look out the glass, the gun in his hand.
âIt canât be him, right?â you finally say with a thin voice.
Rafeâs jaw tightens. He doesnât want to say whatâs been turning in his head since you got the call from the lawyer. He didnât want to scare you. But itâs exactly why he stayed.
âRafe?â you say.
âSomeone couldâve bailed him out,â he finally replies.
Your heart is in your throat. The stress of tonight made you completely forget about that possibility. If Ty got bail, of course his wealthy family would pay it. You feel stupid for urging Rafe to leave. And grateful that he didnât.
âWell, if he - if he did, wouldnât the police make sure he doesnât try to get to me?â you ask.
âThe police are idiots,â Rafe says flatly, still angry over how passively they treated you when you filed the restraining order, how thoughtless they were to not check your belongings.
âIf heâs trying to get in,â you say shakily, âthe alarm will go off. It automatically alerts the cops if it isnât turned off within a minute. Please, if you⊠have to shoot, do it just to stop him. Donât kill him.â
The thought of putting Rafe through watching someone else lose their life is too much for you.
He turns to look at you, barely making out your features in the moonlight shining into your room. How could possibly want to spare the life of someone so evil?
âHeâs not worth it,â you say. âI donât want it weighing on you for the rest of your life.â
Rafe looks at you in awe. Again, you put him first. In this moment, where youâre surely terrified, youâre worrying about him carrying the weight of taking someoneâs life. Because he already carries that weight for his mother. And tonight, he put that weight on you, too.
âOkay,â he says. âBut if he tries to hurt you, I donât know how Iâll control myself.â
A deafening, chilling smash of glass echoes from downstairs. The shrill security alarm starts blaring. Your hand finds the crook of Rafeâs elbow as your entire body stiffens.
âStay here,â Rafe says. âDonât come out.â
âBe careful,â you stammer. âIâm calling 911 just to be sure.â You watch him leave as you grab your phone to report a break-in, giving the operator your address.
A few seconds later, the security system stops ringing. Itâs been shut off. And you know it wasnât Rafe who did it.
Rafe reaches the bottom of the stairs, gun pointed ahead in the dark. His eyes land on Ty, standing by the door, his hand on the security panel.
âGet the fuck out or I swear to God, Iâll shoot you,â Rafe threatens.
âI just want to talk to her,â he replies tersely.
âGet out,â Rafe repeats.
You can make out muffled conversation. You stand by your door, opening it an inch to hear whatâs happening downstairs.
âDo you have any idea what Iâve been through for her? Where is she?â
Itâs Ty. He actually did it. He actually found a way to get to you again. Rafe is the only thing keeping him from you right now. You feel like you could throw up from how scared you are.
âYou have five seconds to leave,â Rafe says. Your ex sputters a laugh.
âOr what?â Ty reaches below the hem of his shirt. âYou think youâre the only one with a gun?â
Your blood runs cold. Rafe is facing a maniac youâre sure wouldnât hesitate to kill him. This could end in someone getting shot. Someone could die here tonight. And if itâs Rafe, you wonât be able to live with yourself.
Itâs a crazy, desperate idea, but youâre confident you can manipulate Ty. You know him well. You know what he wants to hear. Heâd do anything to think he can have you again. And you need to buy time before the police get here.
âPut it down,â Rafe warns.
âIs this gonna be a game of chicken?â Ty laughs again, his gun gleaming in his hand.
Your entire body is tense as you step out of your room.
âTy?â you call out, slowly coming down the stairs. Rafe stiffens.
âI told you to not to come out,â Rafe says sternly, his eyes still on your ex.
âThese are the lengths I have to go to for you, huh?â Ty calls up to you. âJust to get you to talk to me?â
Itâs still dark in your home, both men just murky figures.
âIâm turning on the light,â you say, knowing that surprising Ty wonât do any good.
You reach the bottom of the staircase, standing behind Rafe, and flip the switch, washing the entrance of your home in bright lighting.
You have to stifle your gasp when you see Ty. His face is swollen from Rafe beating him up last night. His clothes are muddy from creeping around your home in the rain, finding a way in. He must have jumped the gate.
The realization that he knows the security code crashes into you. Heâs surely seen you punch it in from his visits back when he was your boyfriend. You never thought heâd be committing it to memory.
This whole time, he knew it. Something you thought was protecting you wasnât. You wish youâd thought to change the code after the break-up.
âGo back upstairs,â Rafe says, his teeth gritted.
You place a hand on Rafeâs back, out of Tyâs sight.
âLetâs talk,â you say to Ty. âPut the gun down and letâs talk.â
âYou know the cops came to my house and arrested me in front of my parents?â Ty says, looking utterly unhinged. âWhy the fuck did you do that to me?â
His gun is still aimed in your direction, but itâs a little lower in his shaky hand. Youâre getting somewhere.
âIâm so sorry. I was scared,â you tell him.
âAnd you let this asshole,â Ty says, eyes darting to Rafe, âhurt me. You just fucking watched him punch me and punch me over and over and then you left. You left with him.â
âIâd do it again,â Rafe mutters. He sees pure red.
âHey,â you whisper to him. You force your anxiety away, knowing you need to calm Ty down, not provoke him.
You drop your hand and walk past Rafe, who harshly says your name. His fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you back. You look at him.
âStop,â Rafe mutters to you, still holding out his gun at Ty. âGo upstairs. Iâm handling this.â
âI wonât let you hurt him,â you say, loud for Ty to hear. âI donât want you anymore.â
Rafe knows youâre trying to trick Ty to avoid anything horrible happening here tonight, but your words make everything in him twist in pain.
You pull away and approach Ty, your heart drumming against your chest. You meet his wide, frantic eyes.
âHey,â you say softly, walking towards him. âYou were right. He was just a rebound. You know me better than anybody.â
âYouâre lying,â Ty mutters. But heâs lowering his gun. âYouâre just a liar.â
âTy,â you say, mustering up forced affection. You reach him, standing mere inches away. His gun is at his side now. The thought of him raising his hand again is petrifying.
âI was scared,â you continue, âbut now I can see how much you care about me. Itâs why I came downstairs. I heard your voice and I realized how much I miss you.â
âI just wanted to talk to you,â he says. âThis whole time. And whatâd you do? You got a new boyfriend. You called the cops. I - I love you. I gave you everything.â
His eyes are sharp. Poisonous. He genuinely thinks heâs done nothing wrong. To him, tracking you and taking photos of you and forcing contact with you was okay. He wants you as an object to possess. Not as a person.
âI know. Nobody can love me like you do,â you whisper, echoing the words he screamed at you when you broke up with him. âI love you. Iâm sorry it took me so long to realize it. Iâve always been stupid, right?â
Itâs taking everything in Rafe not to charge at Ty. If he makes one wrong move, he doesnât think he can restrain himself from putting a bullet through his chest.
Rafe watches your hand drag down Tyâs arm and he grimaces, sure youâre rattled with fear.
âCan you put this down?â you ask, your hand stopping at his, cupping the gun. âI want you to hold me like you used to.â
âYou do?â Ty says, his anger slowly disappearing from his face. Relief pools through you.
âOf course,â you reply. Your hand is shaking as you find the barrel of his gun, slowly pulling at it. âI need you. I make bad decisions when Iâm not with you.â
âYeah, you do,â Ty says, a desperate grin spreading on his face. âYou finally fucking get it.â
You force a smile at him, breathing out slowly as you take the gun out of his grip.
Rafe watches with relief when he sees you holding Tyâs gun at your back.
Itâs terrifying facing him, but at least thereâs no gun pointed at Rafe right now. It dawns on you just how much you love him. You came down here simply to try to keep him safe. To keep him from having someoneâs blood on his hands. You approached someone youâve been running from. You put your own life in danger. Willingly.
You pull back, forcing another smile as you gaze up at Ty.
âWeâre getting out of here,â Ty orders.
You look up at him, hoping he doesnât see the fear in your eyes. Thereâs no way youâre going anywhere with him. You know you have a second, maybe two, to get away from him. And you can only hope itâs enough.
âLet me get my shoes,â you say, trying to laugh as if youâre excited, as if youâre endeared by him.
You move as fast as you can, kneeling to pick the gun up off the floor and rushing back towards Rafe.
âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing?â Ty spits behind you.
Rafe has never been more relieved in his life than when you reach him, cowering behind him, Tyâs gun in your hands.
Maybe you should use it, but you canât fathom trusting your aim when youâre shaking like this.
âYou lying bitch!â Ty shouts, striding forward.
âOne more step!â Rafe warns louder.
Ty doesnât listen.
âLook away,â Rafe mutters to you. You curl up behind him, making yourself small, shutting your eyes.
The gunshot pierces the air, echoing through the foyer, making you quiver. You want to wake up. Because this has to be a nightmare. This canât be real.
You hear Ty moaning in pain. Your eyes are still shut when sirens blare in the distance.
Itâs a blur. People rush in. The door is left open, rain drumming on the pavement. You hear another hard thud and you realize you dropped the gun that was in your hands.
You feel Rafe turn and heâs saying something to you, but you canât understand it. A shiny, yellow badge gleams in the light.
ââŠhappened tonight?â a stranger asks.
âCanât you do this another time?â Rafe mutters, irritated.
âWe need a statement.â You realize the police officer is talking to you, a notepad in his hand. You meet his eyes.
âWhat?â you breathe.
Rafe looks down at you with furrowed brows, worried about you and pissed off that youâre being questioned.
âCan you tell me what happened tonight?â the cop says.
âHer ex broke in,â Rafe says. âHe had a gun. You guys arrested him, then let him go. Thereâs your statement.â
The police officer sighs, keeping his eye on you.
âHave you been physically harmed?â the cops says.
You find the strength to shake your head no.
âDo you have somewhere else to sleep tonight?â he asks.
âYes,â Rafe answers for you. âItâs better sheâs not here in case you morons let him out again, right?â
The cop shakes his head in frustration, but seems to decide that not engaging with Rafeâs angry sarcasm is the better choice.
âWeâll be in touch, miss,â he says. He turns all his attention to Rafe. âCan you answer some questions?â
âFine,â he mutters, then looks to you. âYou wanna go pack?â
All you can hear is your own quick breathing as you pack an overnight bag. Youâre trembling, dropping things, moving as if youâre going to be late for something.
Your house is a crime scene now. You still donât know what happened with Ty. You couldnât look.
Itâs a few minutes past four a.m. when you reach Tannyhill. You and Rafe havenât said anything to each other since the cops left.
The enormous house is dark and quiet as you trail him up the stairs. You know itâs irrational, but still, you fear Ty will pop out from behind a corner and try to finish the job.
Even after your harsh conversation earlier tonight, you hope Rafe will let you sleep in his bedroom. You stop in the upstairs hallway, unsure of what to do next, but his hand finds yours, leading you, making the decision for you.
Rafeâs bedsheets smells just like him, warm and strong and comforting. Youâre turned on your side, your back to him, as he settles behind you.
Now that youâre lying down, you realize just how hard youâre shaking. Your body is still trying to catch up with your mind.
Rafe notices.
âItâs over,â he says, voice low. âYouâre alright.â
You nod, exhaling once you feel his hand rest on your back. His fingers gently run back and forth between your shoulder blades. You find your words, finally.
âI know you had it under control,â you whisper, âbut I couldnât just sit in my room and do nothing. I was scared of him but I was more scared heâd hurt you and I knew I could trick him and I know youâre mad at me-â
âIâm notâŠâ Rafe interrupts with a sigh. âIâm not mad at you.â
Heâs mad at how unfair everything is. And at himself. He should have never told you they were in the car because of you. The conversation with you in your kitchen is another memory he knows will haunt him.
You nuzzle into Rafeâs pillow. Heâs still slowly stroking your back, granting you a sense of safety.
âListen, I wonât lie. I wish you never came downstairs,â he admits. It killed him seeing you face someone whoâs been torturing you. âI didnât know what he was gonna do. But you⊠you knew how to deal with him. I⊠Thank you. You didnât have to do it for me.â
Your heart is still pounding. Of course you had to do it for him. Youâd do anything for him.
âYouâve been looking out for me,â you say quietly. âI wanted to finally return the favor.â
Rafe chews on his lip. Heâs pretty sure you take care of him more than he does you.
âWhat happened?â you ask. âDid youâŠâ
âGot him in the leg,â Rafe says. âThey arrested him. Again.â He wouldâve killed him if you gave him your blessing to. He knows that for sure.
You nod. Your eyelids start to flutter shut. He keeps rubbing your back until heâs sure youâre asleep.
For once, you start your day next to Rafe. He didnât leave you to wake up alone this time. Heâs pressed up behind you, his arm draped over you, his hand over yours. You feel his chest rising and falling against your back.
The room is washed in orange sunlight. The clock on his nightstand tells you itâs almost noon.
You donât know what to do from here. You promised Rafe that after this ended, youâd stop bothering him. And he didnât tell you not to.
You look down at his hand on top of yours. Your eyes trail over his fingers, once again thinking about everything heâs done for you. Heâs kept you safe, taken on responsibilities for you, given you pleasure.
Minutes later, Rafe shuffles behind you, slowly waking up. Once he realizes heâs holding you, he pulls away, clearing his throat.
You sit up and collect your bag before you go to his ensuite bathroom, not making eye contact. After texting a friend to ask if you can come over, you mentally rehearse what youâll say to Rafe as you brush your teeth.
Heâs sitting up in bed when you come out. He can see how tired you are, but you still manage to be so breathtakingly beautiful.
âHi,â you say. You take a breath, standing over him, your bag at your chest. âThereâs no way I can thank you enough. You saved my life. If I was home alone, he wouldâve taken me somewhere andâŠâ
You look down, knowing you shouldnât spiral into the what ifâs.
âAfter what I did to you, you still helped me,â you say, quieter now. âI know you think low of yourself, but you shouldnât. Because of you, Iâm alive right now.â
Rafe stares up at you, his hair tousled over his forehead. Only you can give him this feeling of pride in himself. This feeling that maybe he has a reason to exist other than getting wasted and taking out his anger in every way he can.
âIt wasnât all me,â he replies. âYouâre tougher than you know.â You offer him a small, thankful smile.
âIâll get Sarah to drive me to a friendâs,â you say. âAnd Iâll stay there until my parents get back tonight.â
You start to walk towards the door, but his words stop you.
âI never stopped missing you, either,â he says tensely, remembering your words from last night. âJust so you know.â
You look at him with doleful eyes. Rafeâs heart pounds faster when you drop your bag and approach him. You duck, pressing your cheek against his shoulder, hugging him.
He wraps his arms around you and closes his eyes until you pull back and take your warmth with you. You can both feel that this is goodbye.
Youâre grateful not only because he kept you safe from Ty, but because he allowed this arrangement between you to end cordially. He opened up one last time, giving you the comfort of knowing that he still cared about you even after the accident he blames you for.
He missed you, too. It gives you a reprieve from the pain, even just for a second.
You have a long phone conversation with your lawyer when you arrive at your friendâs house. Tyâs back in custody. Thereâs no option for bail now. Heâll be incarcerated until the trial. Your original court date has been nullified, as a judge has granted you the permanent protective order given the circumstances.
You give your official police statement, emphasizing as many times as you can that Rafe acted in self-defence and protected you. When your lawyer confirms he isnât being charged with anything, youâre more relieved than ever.
Youâre in a haze when you finally see your parents again. Telling them everything feels like youâre recounting a horror movie.
Your home is still deemed a crime scene, so your parents book a hotel room. Youâre lying in the firm, cold hotel bed when your phone buzzes with a text.
Itâs from Rafe. Itâs almost midnight and you saw him this morning, but it feels like itâs been weeks. You doing ok?
You reply: yes. my parents got back and weâre at a hotel. are you ok?
He doesnât text back. You take that as a response in itself. Whatever you had is officially over.
The next afternoon, you can finally go home. The window Ty broke is repaired. You have an irrational fear of seeing his blood on the foyer floor when you walk back into your house, even after your parents confirmed with the cops that the scene has been cleaned up.
Rafe is trying to get used to the way life is now. It feels wrong not being around you. Youâre all he thinks about. When he wakes up. As he goes to sleep.
He should have replied to your text. But how can he put into words just how not okay he is? He kept it under wraps for years, then opened up to you just to ruin things between you all over again.
Itâs been almost a week since heâs seen you. Other Kooks are gossiping about what happened, spreading theories and lies. They know to quiet down when they realize Rafe is in earshot.
Heâs not sure if people think youâre still together or not, but they seem to know better than to blabber about it when heâs around.
Itâs Saturday night and people are scattered across the massive wraparound balcony facing the beach behind Tannyhill. Rafeâs preparing a line of coke, falling into his old escapist habits.
He misses you. Heâs afraid things really are back to how they were. He wants to see you. He just needs to figure out how to make it happen.
Itâs loud and crowded. You havenât left your bedroom in days, but finally, youâve stepped outside after your friends encouraged you to come to a party. It made it easier to accept the invite when you heard it was at Rafeâs house. You want to check on him, even if itâs from a distance.
You can feel peopleâs eyes on you when you enter the party. Itâs uncomfortable, knowing your trauma is being gossiped about and picked apart.
Tyâs in jail, but sometimes that isnât enough. You canât get it out of your head, the way he looked when he broke in, frantic as he waved his gun around.
Youâre gazing out at the setting sun as you stand on the balcony, slipping into your thoughts as your friends chatter around you.
Youâre worried youâll be afraid of your ex forever. The safest youâve ever felt was with Rafe and that was temporary.
You instinctually look around for him. You donât see him, but then thereâs a break in the crowd, and you spot him sitting at a table, hunched over, ready to do a line.
Itâs like nothing has changed. You see Rafe the way youâve seen him throughout your adolescence, chasing a high and acting like you donât exist. Even after everything that happened between you.
Rafeâs about to breathe in his first line of the night. Until his eyes meet yours. And then everything goes quiet.
His fear that things are how they were before is shattered. They canât be. Because instead of looking away, he doesnât want to tear his eyes off of you.
You think youâre giving something to him by giving him space, but youâre not. Youâre taking happiness and peace and love away from him.
Your breath catches when you feel a rush of tears thickening in your throat. Your heart is broken from so many things, but itâs mostly from the role you played in breaking his.
You excuse yourself and rush into the house, hopeful nobody will see you cry. Youâre not even sure where youâre going. You just know you want to be alone.
You end up in Rafeâs room, simply because itâs the only room in the house that gives you the level of comfort youâre craving. You gaze out of one of the windows as you try to calm yourself down.
You remember entering this house for the first time. His father and yours fell into conversation like old friends do and Rafe was at his motherâs side, just barely leaning on her, enough for comfort but not so much that he looked like he needed the crutch.
You kept glancing at each other while the adults talked and when he finally offered you a shy smile, you smiled back, and you donât know if he felt it, too, but at that moment, you knew you were going to be friends.
You sit on his bed, hands on your knees as you breathe through the hurt.
The doorknob turns. Rafe flips on the light when he comes in, his eyes boring into you. You quickly wipe away your tears. He was the last person you expected to follow you.
âHey,â he says, shutting the door. âWhatâs wrong?â
âSorry,â you say. âI can go.â
âNo,â Rafe says. âWhat is it?â
You canât put him through the honest answer.
âSucks how everyoneâs talking about it,â you say. Truthfully, you couldnât care less about the gossip.
Rafe squints for a moment, slowly making his way to you, settling on the bed an inch away from you, his cologne drifting in the air.
âIs that really it?â he asks. You nervously clasp your hands, looking down. He knows thatâs not really it. You can see from the corner of his eye that heâs still watching you.
You donât answer.
âI hate myself for telling you,â Rafe mumbles. You wince at his words.
âYou shouldnât. Itâs better that I know.â
âItâs not.â Rafe anxiously rubs his forehead. âIt sounded so fucking wrong when you said itâs your fault. When I heard you say it out loud, itâŠâ
It turned everything inside out. All heâs been thinking about these past few days is how and when to tell you this.
âYou know when you said maybe it was your fault he wouldnât leave you alone?â he asks.
You think back to that night when you confessed how terrible your relationship with Ty had been. You had told Rafe itâs easier for you to take responsibility because then youâre not just a victim.
âI canât let you blame yourself like that again,â Rafe says. âYou were a kid.â
âYou really donât blame me?â you ask.
âI donât.â His words take a weight off of your shoulders.
âYou were a kid, too, Rafe. You canât blame yourself, either,â you say softly. âAnd if anyone else does, theyâre wrong.â
You can tell by the way he grimaces that heâs been made to feel guilty for it by someone else. His father. You have no doubt about it.
âItâs different,â Rafe mutters.
âItâs not,â you reply. âYouâre just as innocent as I am.â
Rafe knew his mother well. He knows she spent her last moments worrying about him, regretting that she made the decision to leave the house with him. She was an amazing mother. Heâs sure she died thinking she wasnât.
âI didnât tell her I loved her,â he says, voice starting to falter. âThe last chance I had.â
Your chest tightens.
âYou know how you always picked flowers for her on our way up to the house?â you say. âAnd how she was so happy every time you gave them to her?â
The memory makes the corners of Rafeâs lips turn up in a smile. He didnât know you remembered that.
âYou spent time getting her flowers just to make her day, over and over,â you say. âYou donât have to tell someone you love them for them to know. You showed her in a million ways. She knew. I promise.â
Rafeâs been living in an unforgiving cycle of hating the world, looking for blame, all to keep from accepting the truth that there was no sense to what happened. No reason. It just happened. And it left him in pieces.
Your words give him a quiet feeling of freedom that he hasnât felt in a long time. The cycle is addictive and comfortable, but it keeps him moving in circles. Getting him nowhere.
Talking about his mother doesnât hurt as bad this time. Because you brought up a good memory, and he doesnât picture her in the car like he always does, but he sees her downstairs, pinching his cheek, smiling, putting wildflowers in a small vase.
Rafeâs eyes find yours again. All he can feel is a warm, stirring gratitude sinking into him. His lips part for a second before he can reach for the words.
âThank you,â he says. âHowâve you been?â
âItâs hard,â you admit. âI keep thinking Iâm going to run into him. Weâre just waiting on the trial to start and I wish I knew whatâs going to happen.â
Rafe takes a deep breath. Heâs terrified of letting you hear how dark his thoughts get, but right now, heâs as sure as he can be that youâre the one person in the world who wouldnât look at him with judgement.
âI wanted to kill him,â Rafe mutters. âI would right now if I had the chance.â
He looks at you, scared as he awaits your response. You tilt your head and gaze at him with sorrowful eyes.
âI think if someone was doing something like that to you,â you say, âIâd feel the same way.â
Rafe knew you cared about him, but to know you feel just as intensely for him as he does for you is a relief. Heâs still not sure he deserves it.
âHow have you been after everything?â you ask.
âI canât stop thinking about you,â he says, his words rushed. âI keep wanting to text or call but I donât know how to say it.â
âHow to say what?â
âHow much I regret it all,â he says. Rafe combs a hand through his hair, heeling forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. âEvery single time you tried to talk to me, I was such a dick to you. Iâm sorry.â
Youâve imagined him saying this, but you thought itâd always stay a daydream. As you think about everything heâs told you, about how uncontrollable his thoughts can be and how badly he needs distractions and how utterly lonely heâs been, you feel nothing but forgiveness for him.
âYou know that photo I took down?â you say. He nods, picturing the image of the four of you on the beach. âWhat happened, happened to that little kid. I think he handled things the only way he knew how.â
Rafe sits straight, tears threatening to form. You never run out of compassion for him. Youâve always been here, reminding him heâs human and that itâs okay to hurt and to need help.
His eyes are on yours again, and this time, heâs looking at you like he did the night before he kissed you. Itâs like life is returning to his features, a pink hue blooming across his cheeks.
He recalls your words from your last night together. But you donât want me in your life?
âI want you in my life, alright?â he says. He ducks his head just a bit, looking at you with a mix of infatuation and nerves. âIf you still want to be in it.â
Your lips quiver with an endeared frown as you gaze at the multifaceted, complex, passionate man sitting in front of you.
âI do,â you say. Because the past few weeks have been so stressful, all you want right now is clarity. âYou mean as a friend?â
âNo,â Rafe scoffs, a smile quirking on his face again. âNo. If you want that, weâll do that. But I want more. Please tell me I didnât fuck this up.â
You gaze at him through your lashes, feeling like you might just melt at the soft way heâs looking at you and speaking to you.
âBelieve me,â Rafe says, âthat Iâll be different. For real, this time. I donâtâŠâ He sighs. âI never want you feeling like youâre bothering me. Itâs the opposite. Every minute Iâm not with you is just⊠itâs hell.â
He licks his lips from nervousness. He doesnât like that you havenât said anything yet.
âWhat are you thinking?â he asks.
You smile at him, bringing your hand to his, feeling that his knuckles have completely healed now. This right here is the moment you think you might be able to let go of the fear and instability and pain thatâs existed between you for so long.
âI want more, too,â you tell him. He looks at you with furrowed brows almost like heâs in pain, like waiting for this has actually been hurting him.
Rafe hopes his impatience to kiss you isnât too much for you when he leans forward, laying his lips to yours, but you meet him with the same hunger.
He holds you, cupping your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb as your lips weave together. His tongue runs against yours and you raise your hands, one resting on the crook of his neck while the other runs over his hair.
With a quiet moan of pure desire, Rafe kisses harder, moving even closer to you so that your eyelashes overlap.
He separates to close his lips on your neck, trailing hot, desperate kisses over your throat. Then, Rafeâs fingers rest on your hips, fingertips dipping under your shirt.
âCan I take this off?â he asks huskily.
âYes,â you breathe.
The slowly burning flame between you has sparked into a wildfire now. You feel the fabric of your top slowly dragging up your body, making you dizzy.
Rafe watches in awe as he pulls your shirt off you, all of his senses going hot when he watches the way your chest is rising and falling, the way your bra looks pushed against your body. He dips to kiss your neck again as he holds you at your waist.
âTell me if Iâm going too fast,â he whispers, âor if I need to stop.â
âDonât stop,â you whisper back. Your hand drags over his hard jaw to pull him up to your lips again. Rafe is intoxicated by this feeling, by the promise of pleasure, by the pure joy of being wanted.
Your lips quietly smack together as his fingers skim up the side of your body, over your shoulder, down the line of your bra strap, finally wandering over your chest.
He massages you gently, earning breathy moans from you. With eyes still shut, you find the top button of his shirt, pulling it out of its loop slowly.
Your kisses grow even more impatient as you unbutton his shirt, moving down his chest, finally reaching the bottom. Your fingers slip under his collar, pushing his shirt down his shoulders.
Once Rafeâs shirt is on the floor, he leans against you, gently guiding you onto your back on his soft bed, still kissing you. You run your hands down the firm curve of his back, making him shudder into your mouth.
His fingers dip under your bra strap, feeling desperate to see you. His forehead presses against yours as he pulls back.
âIs this okay?â he rasps.
You nod and your breath hitches when he pulls the strap down over your shoulder and dips to kiss where it sat. His groin already feels so tight that it hurts.
Slowly, he lowers to kiss the valley between your breasts, making your heart pound even harder. When he finally pulls down the cup of your bra, seeing you bare draws a stunned, sharp intake of breath from him.
You rake your hand through his hair when you feel his hot mouth on you. You moan softly and the sound of you revelling in the pleasure heâs giving you puts him in an even deeper daze.
Rafe cups your waist and drags his hands to your back. You arch to give him just enough space to unhook your bra, and once he has full access to your chest, you shut your eyes as his tongue and hands roam over you.
He leaves wet kisses all over your chest and comes back up to capture your lips again. His movements are languid as he rests his hand between your legs and suddenly, your clothes feel suffocating. Youâve never needed someone more.
Rafe drags his fingers over you, pressing in gentle circles. You spread your legs wide as he hovers over you, holding himself up on his elbow.
His eyes are on you, full of lust and want, imagining how youâll taste if you let him go that far. He sinks to dip his fingers beneath the band at your hips, pulling the clothing down your legs, taking his time.
He settles over you again, putting his hand back where it was, and even though thereâs still one more layer of fabric to strip, he can feel you so much better.
You whimper as he drags his fingers over you, and then he lowers again, his head between your legs.
You meet Rafeâs gaze when he kisses you right over your panties, and the intimacy, the pure vulnerability thickens the air even more.
âCan I?â he mumbles, his breath warm. You nod in desperation.
He slides the last piece of clothing you have on off of you, and when his eyes drink you in, his heart pounds loud in his ears.
âYouâre beautiful,â he says, dipping to kiss your inner thighs before finally tasting you. You breathe out shakily as his tongue curls against you, as his hands hook around the tops of your thighs, resting on your hips.
Your whole body is hot and trembling as he kisses and sucks and licks, worshipping every bit of you.
Rafe canât get enough of you. He just started and he already dreads the thought of stopping.
Your hands sit on his and he squeezes your fingers as he buries his face against you, holding both your hands, gazing up to see the bliss written in your pretty features.
He shifts to bring one of his hands where his mouth is, gliding over you, working both on you to bring you to a mind-blowing climax that leaves you moaning.
Rafe holds himself up over you again, kissing you, letting you taste yourself, as you eagerly unbutton his jeans. He helps you pull his pants down and when you grip him over his boxers, he nearly whimpers in need.
You stroke slowly, your hand wrapped around him, the other pushing against his bare chest to gently lead him to lie on his back.
You drag his boxers down, looking at him with pure arousal. His face is twisted in pleasure when you put your mouth on him, tasting him, taking him in completely.
He couldnât take his eyes off you if he tried. You slowly pick up your pace and he knows if you go any longer, he wonât last.
âCan weâŠâ he rasps. Youâre trembling in anticipation, already knowing what heâs asking.
You shift higher, resting on your knees, your bare bodies pressed together as you kiss him.
You lower your hand, holding him, dipping against him to just barely meet each other. Itâd take just one buck of your hips to feel him inside you.
âYou sure?â he asks.
âYes. Are you?â
âYes,â he groans. âGo as slow as you need to.â
You nod, shuddering as you position yourself and slowly sink onto him. You moan in unison at the sensation of your bodies meeting this way.
When you finally take all of him in, you pause to revel in the feeling, breathing heavily, your cheeks brushing.
âI love you,â Rafe says, his deep voice weaved with awe.
You pull back to look at him, not sure if you heard him right. You take in the color of his eyes and the beauty of his edges and your heart has never felt like it was glowing until this very moment.
âI love you, too,â you half-whisper. He almost canât come to grips with the fact that you said it back with such certainty. Like you have no doubt that he has a place in your heart.
You roll your hips, taking your time to adjust to him. His hands are at your waist as he enjoys the slow ecstasy of your warmth.
You hug him tightly as you slowly move up and down. Eventually, you can feel him tensing beneath you, and you want to give him the control to reach the pace he needs.
You lift off of him, kissing him before you shift onto your back. He doesnât waste any time to settle over you, slowly pushing into you again.
Youâve always worn your heart on your sleeve for Rafe, while heâs kept his caged. He thought he didnât even have one anymore. But you remind him that he does have this side of him, that it still exists, that he wants to give all of it you.
âI love you,â he rasps again. âI love you. I love you.â
Bliss overwhelms you as you tenderly kiss his forehead. He gently rocks forward and back, filling you perfectly as his thrusts slowly quicken.
âYouâre everything to me,â he whispers into your ear. âI love you.â
âI love you,â you say, wrapping your legs around him. His breaths quicken as he moves faster, writhing over you into a climax that makes him groan.
Your bodies are glistening with sweat, your breaths heavy. Rafeâs weight doesnât leave you as he collapses in pleasure.
âIs it okay if I stay like this?â he asks.
âYes,â you breathe. His face is nuzzled into your neck, panting as he breathes you in, still inside you, living in this perfect moment with you.
Rafe has felt homesick since he can remember. Even within the walls of his own bedroom. But you and the feeling you give him are home. Safety with no exceptions, love with no conditions.
âWhatâd I do to deserve you?â he mumbles against your skin.
âExist,â you say with a gentle laugh.
Rafe plants lazy kisses against your neck as you hold him, slowly coming back to reality. Thereâs a whole party happening in his house, but in his world, itâs only you and him.
When he gets up, he isnât prepared for how empty he feels when he loses the feeling of you wrapped around him. You lie next to him, facing each other with tired smiles.
âHow was it?â he asks. The question sends you into a fit of laughter.
âYou heard me, right?â you say, almost embarrassed from the sounds you made.
Rafe smirks and moves even closer to you, kissing you as you both lie on his pillow. You rest your palm on his face, gently tapping at the deep dimple in his cheek with your finger.
âYou should show these more often,â you say.
âWhat?â
âYour dimples.â
He laughs, thinking to himself that heâll do anything you want him to if youâll keep loving him. Heâs drunk on the feeling of the simplicity of being with you. Itâs easy and pure.
Rafe asks if you want to shower together, and soon, youâre in his ensuite, standing under hot water ebbing over your skin.
Every movement between you is a slow expression of love, your bodies curved together as you share kisses and hold each other.
At one point, heâs clinging onto you, his lips pressed on your shoulder, and youâre holding him like you did the night in your house when he finally opened up completely.
Rafe is overcome by every emotion heâs feeling and itâs the first time in years that he cries without urging himself to stop. Because youâre here and you know everything and you still donât want to leave.
You hold each other in bed wearing nothing but towels. He asks you if you want to go back out to the party and is relieved when you tell him you donât.
âIâm falling asleep,â you eventually say, your legs tangled with his as he holds you. âI should go home.â
âNo,â he says. âWhy? Stay. Sleep here.â
You text your parents that youâre sleeping over. You know theyâll assume youâre staying in Sarahâs room, since youâve done it so many times.
After you put your phone on Rafeâs nightstand, you snuggle into him, your head resting on his shoulder. You yawn, getting goosebumps from the way his fingers trail up and down your arm.
âNeed a distraction?â you ask.
âNo,â Rafe replies tiredly. For once, his mind isnât racing. The mix of chaos and calm he thought he felt with you is no longer a mix at all. Itâs just calm. Itâs just peace.
You wake up in Rafeâs arms, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek and his breaths on the top of your head. It feels unreal recounting last night, remembering the amount of times he told you he loves you.
You shift slowly to get out of bed, putting on your bra and underwear and slipping into his bathroom. Heâs sitting up in bed when you come back out. His eyes immediately trail down your body, a smile growing on his face.
âWhat?â you ask.
âYouâre justâŠâ Rafe exhales, resting his arm out on the bed in a way to beckon you to come back. âPerfect.â
âYou mean as a friend?â you joke. You settle back into bed on your knees as he chuckles.
âFuck no,â he answers, making you laugh. âDo you have to leave?â
âI donât,â you say. Your body warms when you see the relief on his face. Now that youâve sealed the rift that lived between you for so long, you can see just how badly Rafe wants you around.
But it doesnât feel like a dream anymore. This feels right. Like you were meant to be with him all along.
âWould you wanna go down to the water?â you ask.
He nods. Itâs like your kids again; heâd go anywhere you want just to see you smile.
Itâs a windy morning by the sea. The sun is covered by clouds as you sit on the private beach next to Rafe. He drapes an arm around you, rubbing your arm to keep you warm. He feels like now that heâs been given permission to touch you, he canât stop.
âThe hours we spent out here,â you mumble. Rafe gazes at your profile as you look out at the horizon.
The dark blue sea makes you think of all the possibilities, of everything to come. You turn to catch him staring.
âI didnâtâŠâ Rafe gently shakes his head. He didnât know this was possible. âYou know how people say they can feel someone around them after they⊠after they die?â
You nod. He feels guilty as hell with what heâs about to say.
âI never did,â he admits. Your face drops in shock and sadness. You canât imagine how lonely heâs felt. âBut right now, itâs like⊠itâs like sheâs about to call us up to eat. I can feel her here.â
You feel like your heart is whole and broken at the same time. You lean to kiss his cheek over and over, the waves crashing in the distance.
âI need to stop trying to forget her,â Rafe says sadly.
He glances down at the sand, and you can tell anxiety is starting to grip him. You take a deep breath before you speak.
âI think sheâd understand why you did,â you say. âWhat do you think about getting her flowers?â
Blue eyes find yours. He hasnât visited her grave in years. If he does today, heâll need you with him.
âYeah,â he says simply, dusting the sand off his jeans as he heads to the patch of grass by the boardwalk.
The cemetery is quiet and tranquil. You drove over on his motorcycle, holding onto him tighter than you needed to. Your shoes pad over the paved walkway, feeling more and more nervous as you approach where she rests.
The headstone isnât as big as Rafe remembers, but he figures itâs because he was much smaller when he visited last. He starts to cry as soon as he sees the photo of her in the center of the plaque. He forgot that was there.
Tears burn your eyes when you watch him slowly drop to his knees, his hands splayed on the lush grass.
You read the epitaph over and over again. When love is eternal, life cannot die.
Rafe forgot that he was holding the flowers he picked and he realizes he broke some stems, but when he looks at her photo again, he puts the flowers right at the corner of the headstone, knowing she was always happy with any bouquet he gave her, no matter the condition.
You sink beside him, resting a hand on his back.
âShould I talk?â he stammers. âI donât know what to do.â
âYou do whatever feels right,â you reply.
âCan you talk?â he asks.
âYes,â you say. Youâve been yearning to talk like this with him for years. âYou know you have her smile?â
âReally?â
âYes,â you say. âItâs one of the reasons I love seeing you happy.â
Rafe nods, a tear dripping off his chin. He needs you to keep talking.
âAnd I remember she was always winking at me,â you say. âI donât know if you saw.â
âShe did that because she knew I had a crush on you,â Rafe mumbles. You smile sadly, rubbing his back.
âIâm pretty sure she knew I had one on you, too,â you say. âShe was so smart and so sweet. Everyone could see how much she loved being your mom.â
Rafe offers you a grateful smile.
âI miss her,â he says, his voice brittle.
âMe, too,â you reply. âIâm sorry. I can go back to the parking lot if you want?â
Youâre offering to give him time alone here. And to his surprise, he nods. He can do this. You kiss his temple and give him the moment he needs.
Rafe is sitting in silence for a minute before he finds the words. He stares at her photo.
âIâm sorry I made you drive that night,â he mumbles. âIâm sorry I always got mad at you when you called me your baby. I just wanted to grow up and you told me to enjoy being young and you were right.â
He clears his throat.
âIâm sorry I dug myself into a hole and tried to forget you. But I think sheâs right. Youâd understand.â
He cracks a small smile, remembering when he first told his mom he liked you, how nervous and giddy he felt.
âStill want to marry her,â he says. He can hear the way she laughed when her ten-year-old son told her he hoped youâd be his wife one day, but heâd still want to live at home so heâd beg for you to move in. âShe never left my side, mom. I gave her every reason to but I think she saw how much I was hurting.â
Rafe promises her he wonât let so much time pass before he visits again. And when he finds you standing by his bike, he holds you so tightly that he feels your heart beating against his.
Everything is different for him now. He hasnât had the comfort of permanence in his life for a long time. He canât believe you want him, even after youâve seen the worst of him.
Rafe never takes his hands off of you. At every party, on every date, he always has to be touching you in some way to remind himself that he has you for real.
It takes a few tries, but he manages to quit coke. And eventually, he quits waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for you to decide he isnât worth the effort.
Heâs with you every step of the trial. The lawyer says Ty getting five years in prison is a win, but he thinks the only win would be a life sentence.
Eventually, the trauma loses its power over you. You feel safe. Not because your ex is locked up, but because Rafe is with you.
You stand by him for everything. Every breakdown he has, every time he sinks into his grief, every storm that reminds him of the worst night of his life. You never leave.
You love him for long enough that he finally believes if someone as amazing as you can see something in him, it must be there.
Epilogue
You didnât ask for much for the wedding. One thing that you were sure about was that you wanted an event artist, someone to paint the day on a canvas to capture it in a unique way.
Rafe is happy to to along with it, but then again, heâs like that with everything when it comes to you. You could never ask too much from him. Heâll forever feel like he owes you for never giving up on him.
The banquet hall is massive and beautifully decorated, and you can hardly hear your own thoughts over the crowdâs chatter and elegant music. The day has been a whirlwind.
When the artist waves you over, you take Rafeâs hand.
âWant to see the painting?â you ask.
âYeah,â he says, beaming at you simply because of how excited you are.
You had secretly asked the artist to include Anne in the painting. When your eyes land on the canvas, seeing her drawn in with everyone else who stood at the altar warms your heart.
You look up at Rafe, whose mouth is just slightly agape. He stares at his motherâs image, smiling behind him, then looks down, scratching the back of his neck and finding your hand before he leads you away.
âJust a second,â you say to the artist before you let Rafe take you to a dressing room past the hallway.
He shuts the door behind you, facing you with glossy eyes.
âDid I mess up?â you say worryingly. âIâm so sorry. I wanted to surprise you. I thought youâd like it.â
âHey,â Rafe says softly, hands on your cheeks. âI love it. I just didnât want to cry in front of everyone. Iâve been barely keeping it together today.â
You laugh in relief, tipping your chin so heâll kiss you. His lips meet yours. Youâre pretty sure your guests could tell he got teary-eyed when he watched you walk down the aisle, but youâll spare him that detail.
Rafe finds relief from your touch, like always. His mom was here today. He felt it. He feels her all the time now. And youâre still a reminder, but in the best possible way, because you show him that he can remember the good parts. That he can feel love even after someoneâs left. That he doesnât need to carry guilt. That he can look forward to the future.
Apart from the second he became your husband, this is the best moment youâve had today, because itâs just you two, just like it was when you were kids on the beach, enjoying each otherâs company, never wanting to part.
(the end) (continuation blurbs)
authorâs note thank you to everyone who stuck with this series đ ps did you know tumblr has a text block limit? learned that the hard way lmao. so iâm sorry that some paragraphs got long! hated to sacrifice my structure but had to do it to keep all 10k+ words in đ
Thinking about the fact that in s1ep6 when Barry burns Rafe's arm, poor baby probably had to bandage himself up all by himself. It just makes me so sad for no reason because Rafe's always alone and he literally has zero support system. And, his hands were shaking when he attempted to steal from his dad's office and when Ward catches him, he doesn't even look concerned or notice the burnt arm of his son??? Something about that just makes me so mad and sad like wtf. Rafe needs a big hug, man. I soo wanna be his stress reliever, his balm that calms him and more. I am literally not normal about this man. Like imagine someone burning ur arm on a fucking motorbike and having no one to turn to but yourself :(
Evan âBuckâ Buckley x paramedic!Bradford!reader
Tim Bradford x paramedic!sister!reader
Fandom: 911, The Rookie
Summary: The tense relationship between your brother, Tim, and your boyfriend, Buck, comes to a head when a catastrophic car accident leaves you critically injured. Forced to confront their differences and work together to save you, both men come to terms with their shared fears and love for you.
Angst
Warnings: ANGST, Descriptions of injuries, blood, trauma, strong language, emotional conflict, intense arguments, vehicle accident, and hospital scenes, fluff at the end cuz my heart was breaking for my babies, not proofread yet?
Requested: No
Words: 3k
You finish restocking the medication kit, methodically checking each item against the inventory list. The firehouse is alive with its usual buzz, the sounds of laughter and banter mixing with the occasional clang of metal or hum of machinery. You adjust the last of the syringes in their slot and close the kit with a satisfying snap. This place, with its organized chaos, has become your second home.
Just as youâre about to put the kit back in its place, you glance up and see Tim and Lucy entering the fire station. Timâs tall frame is rigid, his posture tense, while Lucy walks beside him, her hand intertwined with his in a gentle but firm grip. Her presence is calming, a subtle yet powerful reminder of why heâs here. Lucyâs eyes scan the firehouse with curiosity, taking in the new environment with an open mind. Without a second thought, you drop what youâre doing and rush over to them.
âHey!â you call out, your voice filled with excitement and relief.
Timâs stern expression softens slightly when he sees you, and Lucyâs face lights up with a warm smile. You reach them and wrap your arms around both of them in a tight hug, feeling the tension in Timâs body as he slowly relaxes into your embrace.
âThank you for coming,â you whisper, before you pull back, looking into Timâs eyes, then turn to give Lucy a quick, grateful squeeze.
Tim grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. âYou owe me for this,â he mutters, his tone a mix of reluctance and protectiveness.
Buck strides over behind one of the firetrucks and his face lighting up when he sees you standing next to your brother. His blue eyes twinkle with warmth, and he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close for a quick kiss on the cheek. His touch is comforting, grounding you amidst the tension.
âHey, Tim. Good to see you,â he says, extending a hand towards your brother.
Tim nods curtly, his posture stiffening even more. âBuckley,â he acknowledges, ignoring Buckâs outstretched hand.
You lean in and whisper, placing a gentle hand on his arm. âGive him a chance, please. Buckâs really changed,â you plead, your eyes searching his for any sign of softening.
Timâs jaw tightens, his gaze remaining hard. âWeâll see about that,â he mutters.
You motion to the table where lunch is set up, inviting the officers to join you. As everyone sits down, Bobby walks over, wiping his hands on a towel. His authoritative presence is softened by a friendly smile spreading across his face.
âSergeant Bradford. Good to see you here. Howâs the force treating you?â Bobby asks, extending his hand to your brother.
Tim shakes it, his grip firm and unyielding. âBusy, as always. Howâs it going here?â he replies, his tone polite but distant.
âSame old, same old. Always something to keep us on our toes,â Bobby replies with a chuckle, glancing around at his team bustling about.
âSee? We're all just doing our best out here,â you add, hoping to bridge the gap. You reach for Buckâs hand under the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He squeezes back, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand.
Tim softens a bit, nodding. âYeah, I guess. Still donât trust Buck though,â he says, his voice gruff but slightly less hostile.
The firefighter, taking mock offense, raises his hands in surrender. âHey, Iâm right here!â he exclaims, a playful grin on his face.
You laugh and playfully nudge your brother's shoulder. âTim, give him a break. He's not so bad,â you say, leaning your head against Buckâs shoulder for a moment, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
Tim looks at you seriously, his eyes softening as he meets your gaze. âI'm here because I love you, and I want you to be happy,â he says, his voice sincere.
âAnd Buck makes me happy. Can't you at least try to see that?â you plead.
The Sergeant sighs, his shoulders relaxing slightly. âI'll try. But it's going to take more than a lunch break to convince me,â he admits, his tone grudging but slightly more open.
Buck, with a sincere expression, leans forward slightly, his eyes meeting Timâs. âFair enough. Just know that I'm not the same guy who stole that firetruck."
Lucy, nodding in agreement, adds, âYeah, Buck's grown up a lot. We all have.â
Your brother smirks, a hint of a challenge in his eyes. âWe'll see. Just donât give me any reason to pull out the cuffs,â he says, a slight teasing edge to his voice.
Buck grins, reaching across the table to shake Timâs hand. âDeal. I'll be on my best behavior,â he promises, his grip firm and sincere.
You smile gratefully at your, squeezing his hand over the table. âThanks, Tim. It means a lot to me."
Timâs expression softens as he looks at you, his eyes filled with brotherly concern. âYeah, well, anything for you. Just donât make me regret it."
As you stepped out of the ambulance onto the freeway, the first thing that hit you wasn't the rain, but the sheer chaos unfolding before you. Cars were strewn across the asphalt like toys in a child's playroom, their twisted metal frames bearing witness to the violent collision that had brought them to this sorry state.
The rain pelted down relentlessly, transforming the freeway into a shimmering river of asphalt and water. Puddles had formed in the potholes, turning them into miniature lakes that reflected the flashing lights of emergency vehicles like twisted mirrors.
And there, in the center of it all, was Tim, a lone figure amidst the chaos. His uniform was soaked through, the rain plastering his hair to his forehead as he barked orders at his officers, directing traffic with the precision of a seasoned officer.
But despite the controlled chaos Tim was orchestrating, there was an air of urgency that hung heavy in the air. It was as if the storm itself was a living, breathing entity, threatening to swallow everything whole if you didn't act fast.
Buck, your fearless firefighter, was already in the thick of it, his focus unwavering as he followed Bobby's orders in extracting victims from the mangled wreckage. You followed his lead, weaving through the sea of twisted metal and flashing lights with the ease of someone who had seen it all before.
But just as you thought you had the situation under control, your eyes fell upon a lone blue sedan at the far end of the pileup. The driver was slumped over the wheel, unconscious and vulnerable. Without hesitation, you rushed towards the car, your heart pounding in your chest like a drumbeat of impending doom.
"I'm gonna check that car!" you shouted over the din of the storm, your voice barely audible above the roar of the rain.
"Be careful, okay?" Buck's words were a whispered plea, lost in the chaos of the moment.
With a nod of determination, you wrenched open the door and slid inside, the rain-soaked interior a surreal sanctuary amidst the wreckage outside. The driver lay motionless, a ghost in the machine, and you wasted no time in assessing his condition.
Just as you began to work your magic, the sound of screeching tires and blaring horns shattered the relative calm. Before you could react, another car, blinded by the rain, crashed into the sedan with terrifying force.
The impact sent shockwaves rippling through the air, followed by a deafening explosion that seemed to swallow everything in its path. Pain exploded through your body as you were thrown forward, your head colliding with something hard and unforgiving.
Darkness enveloped you quickly, swallowing you whole as consciousness slipped away.
In that moment, as you teetered on the edge of oblivion, you couldn't help but wonder if this was how it all ended. Alone, in the pouring rain, surrounded by chaos and uncertainty.
Buck and Tim both turned at the explosion, horror etched on their faces. The sight of the blue sedan engulfed in flames, with you inside, was a nightmare come to life. Buckâs heart seized, a cold dread gripping him.
âY/N!â Timâs voice was raw, a mix of fear and rage, as he started to sprint towards the blazing car.
Buck grabbed his arm, yanking him back with a force fueled by desperation.
âBradford, stay where you are and do your job. Iâve got her.â
Timâs eyes were wild, burning with fury. âThe hell Iâm gonna stay behind. Thatâs my sister!â
âAnd sheâs my everything! I won't lose her because of you!â Buckâs voice cracked, matching Timâs intensity as he locked eyes with him. âIf you want to help, you need to trust me and listen to me! This is my job and I know how to do it!â
Tim hesitated, torn between his instincts and his training. His heart pounded in his chest, the image of you trapped in the car searing into his mind. With a reluctant nod, he followed Buck, and they moved as one, sprinting toward the flames.
The heat was almost unbearable, a suffocating blanket that seared their skin, but they didnât hesitate. Buck grabbed a crowbar, his muscles straining as he pried at the door. His thoughts were a chaotic whirl of fear and determination. He couldnât lose you. Not now. Not ever.
Tim smashed the remaining glass with his bare fists, ignoring the shards that tore into his skin. His mind was a turbulent sea of rage and helplessness. This couldnât be happening. Not to you.
âStay with me, Y/N,â Buck muttered, his voice a desperate prayer as he wrenched the door open.
Tim reached in, his hands trembling slightly as he carefully but swiftly pulled you from the wreckage. âSheâs breathing.â
âWe need to move her, now!â Buckâs tone was urgent, his eyes scanning the flames that threatened to consume the car.
Together, they carried you away from the burning wreck, laying you on a stretcher that Hen had ready. Your breathing was shallow, your skin pallid against the backdrop of rain and fire. Hen immediately went to work, her hands steady despite the chaos.
âI've lost her pulse.â Hen said urgently. âWe need to get her to the hospital now. There might be an internal bleeding and something more serious than a concussion.â
As the other paramedics loaded you into the ambulance and Hen began performing CPR, the adrenaline and fear between Buck and Tim transformed into anger.
âThis is your fault!â Tim shouted, his face inches from Buckâs, rain mixing with tears of frustration and fear.
âMy fault? Youâre the one whoââ
âI told you to watch her!â
âAnd I did! Until youââ
âHey, hey! Stop it!â Lucyâs voice cut through their argument as she and Eddie rushed over. She grabbed Timâs arm, her grip firm, while Eddie stepped between your boyfriend and your brother, a calm but authoritative presence.
âCalm down,â Lucy ordered, her tone brooking no argument. âThis isnât helping.â
âSheâs my sister! I can't just stand by!â Timâs voice cracked, his usual composed expression shattered.
âAnd sheâs also one of ours,â Eddie interjected, his voice steady and firm. âThis isnât going to help her right now. She needs you.
But their attempts to calm the two men seemed futile. They continued to argue, the stress and fear bubbling over until Bobby intervened.
âEnough!â Bobbyâs voice cut through the chaos. âBoth of you, to the hospital. Now. You can fight all you want later, but right now, she needs you both to be there for her.â
The weight of his words sank in, and finally, the two men nodded, albeit reluctantly. As the ambulance sped away with you inside, Buck and Tim followed closely, their hearts heavy but united in their concern for you.
The hospital waiting room was a stark contrast to the chaos of the freeway, yet it felt equally suffocating. Sterile white walls seemed to close in on Buck and Tim as they sat in opposite corners, their bodies tense with worry and guilt. Neither dared to meet the other's gaze as if the mere sight of one another would ignite another fiery argument.
Tim's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotionsâfear for his sister's life, anger at Buck for not protecting her, guilt for not doing more to protect you, his little sister, from harm. He clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms as he struggled to contain the storm raging within him.
Buck's heart felt heavy in his chest, his eyes were red-rimmed from tears he refused to shed. He couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that gnawed at him, the overwhelming sense of failure. He was supposed to protect you, to keep you safe, and he had failed miserably.
He replayed the events of the accident over and over in his mind, each moment etched with painful clarity. He should have been faster, stronger, better. But now all he could do was wait, his hands trembling with the desperate need for redemption.
Hours crawled by like an eternity, each passing minute stretching into infinity as they waited for news about your condition. They both knew the longer they waited, the slimmer the chances of a positive outcome became. But still, they clung to hope like a lifeline, unwilling to let go.
Finally, your doctor entered the waiting room, and both men shot to their feet, their hearts pounding in their chests. The doctor's expression was grave as she scanned the room, her eyes finally settling on Tim and Buck.
"Are you family?" she asked.
Both men nodded eagerly, a flicker of hope igniting in their hearts.
"How is she?" Tim's voice cracked with emotion, his hands trembling with anticipation.
The doctor hesitated, her eyes flickering with sympathy. "She's stable, but her condition is still critical," she began, her words hanging heavy in the air. "We're not sure when she'll wake up, or what the extent of her injuries might be."
The words hit Buck and Tim like a punch to the gut, leaving them reeling with a fresh wave of despair. They exchanged a wordless glance, their eyes filled with a shared anguish that transcended their grudges.
"We've moved her to a private room," the doctor continued, her voice softening with empathy. "You can visit her, one at a time."
Buck and Tim nodded numbly, their minds a blur of conflicting emotions.
"I'll go first. I'm her brother," Tim insisted, his voice a low growl.
"And I'm her boyfriend. I have every right to be with her too," Buck shot back, his eyes blazing.
"Look, I'm notâ"
Their voices started to rise, tension thickening the air once more. Before things could escalate further, Lucy stepped in, her tone authoritative. "Enough. Stop it, both of you."
She turned her attention back to the doctor, silently apologizing for their behavior "I think it would be best if they both went in together. For everyone's sake."
The doctor sighed, clearly exhausted from dealing with more than just medical emergencies today. "Fine. But if you disturb the other patients or cause any more scenes, I will kick you both out. Understand?"
They both nodded, subdued for now, and followed the doctor to your room. Inside, the sight of you lying so still in the hospital bed was like a punch to the gut. Tubes and wires connected to machines that beeped rhythmically, a stark reminder of your fragile state. Tim and Buck rushed to opposite sides of the bed, each grabbing one of your hands.
Buck leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, tears streaming unchecked down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered, his voice breaking.
Tim held your hand gently, his tough exterior cracking as tears welled up in his eyes. "You better wake up, sis," he murmured, his voice a choked whisper. "I need you to be okay."
Both men took seats next to your bed, their eyes never leaving your face. Tim's usual grumpiness returned, masking the deep fear and guilt that gnawed at him. Buck wiped at his tears, trying to stay strong for you.
After a moment of heavy silence, Tim spoke, his voice gruff but sincere. "Look, Buckley... I'm sorry for what I said. For the fight. For everything else I said since you started... dating. I am scared for her every shift and I took it out on you."
Buck nodded, tears still glistening in his eyes. "I'm sorry too. Look... I know I'm not a saint, I've done a lot of things that I regret. But I've changed, she changed me. I want and I will be a better man for Y/N."
Tim sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I know, I saw that. I was just... terrified. Iâve seen a lot, but nothing scared me more than seeing her like this."
"Sheâs the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. Iâd never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me."
Tim's expression softened, a rare look of vulnerability crossing his features. "Sheâs always been the strong one, you know? Always looking out for me. She was 9 when I left home and she was always looking out for me, even if she didn't understand what war was. Ever since I joined LAPD, she thought I was this superhero and even then Y/N was taking care of me like she was the one 15 years older. And now... I couldn't take care of her."
"And now we look out for her," Buck corrected Tim, his voice steady with conviction.
They sat in silence for a while, the only sound the steady beeping of the heart monitor. The room was filled with a shared sense of purpose, the bitterness between them dissolving in the face of their mutual love for you.
"Let's make a deal," your brother said quietly. "No more fighting. We focus on Y/N and getting her through this."
Buck nodded, a faint smile breaking through the sadness. "Deal. For her."
Summary: You are Tim's wife and join him to the station for the day, looking for a Metro recruit.
Fluff
A/N: I loooove this, I start to love writing fluff. Thank you for this request. I have so many ideas and I don't know where to start. Also, I'm looking forward to your requests. Thank you for your support and your feedback is more than welcomed and appreciated! Have a wonderful day, bubs and enjoy this story! Lots of love
Warnings: None, pure fluff, not proofread yet
Requested: Yes!
Words: 3.8k
Photo not mine, credits to the owner @renegadesstuff !
The familiar scent of stale coffee and printer ink hits you as soon as you step through the doors of the station. It's been years since you last set foot in that place, but the memories come rushing back with startling clarity. The station hasn't changed muchâit's still a hive of activity, with officers rushing to and fro, phones ringing off the hook, and the occasional burst of laughter echoing through the halls.
As you make your way through the bustling room, you can't help but feel a pang of nostalgia. This place holds so many memories for youâthe late nights spent poring over case files, the adrenaline-fueled chases through the city streets, the quiet moments of comradery with your fellow officers. It feels like a lifetime ago, yet the memories are as vivid as ever.
You pause for a moment to take it all in, your gaze sweeping over the familiar surroundings. The bullpen, with its rows of desks and cluttered bulletin boards, holds a special place in your heart. It's where you once stood as a training officer, guiding rookies through their first days on the job.
Tim Bradford was your favorite and a handful from the startâa troubled rookie who struggled to follow orders and grasp the basics of the job. You remember the frustration of trying to teach him the ropes, the countless hours spent drilling him on the rookie book, only for him to push back and resist at every turn.
You remember the determination in Tim's eyes, the way he refused to give up even when the odds seemed stacked against him. And despite his rebellious nature, there was something about himâa spark of raw talent and an unwavering sense of loyaltyâthat set him apart from the rest.
But amidst the nostalgia, there's a sense of purpose driving you forward. You're here on official business, after allâ you were sent there to find a new recruit to join Metro. And while part of you wishes you could stay lost in the memories of the past, another part knows that you have a job to do.
You're greeted by familiar faces at every turn. The joy radiating from your former colleagues as they see you again warms your heart, and you can't help but return their smiles with genuine affection.
Among the crowd, you notice Tim watching you from across the room, his expression a mix of confusion and curiosity. You shoot him a reassuring smile, silently promising to explain everything later.
Lucy stands beside Tim, a look of bewilderment on her face. "Who's that?" she whispers to Tim, nodding in your direction.
Tim's brow furrows for a moment as he studies you, then he turns back to Lucy with a shrug. "That's Y/N," he answers simply. "She works with Metro."
Lucy's eyes widen in surprise, her gaze darting back and forth between you and Tim. "What's she doing here?" she asks, her curiosity piqued.
Tim gives a nonchalant shrug, trying to downplay the situation. "No clue," he replies, though a hint of curiosity lingers in his tone. "Maybe she's just passing through."
As Tim watches you from across the room, a wave of warmth washes over him. Seeing you here, in the midst of his workplace, brings back a flood of memoriesâof late-night patrols, of shared laughter, of the bond you forged as rookie and TO. Despite the hustle and bustle of the station, his attention is drawn solely to you, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of your beauty.
It's an understatement that he adores you. He loves you with every breath, every heart beat and he couldn't get enough of you. Since you were recruited for Metro, he missed you every shift, longing for you to make his duties more bearable.
There's a softness in his eyes as he approaches, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Despite the secrecy surrounding your relationship, seeing you there fills him with a sense of comfort and belonging. In that moment, surrounded by the chaos of the station, all that matters is the connection you shareâa bond that transcends the boundaries of your professional lives.
"Hey there," he greets you warmly, "What are you doing here?"
Seeing him there, in his element, reminds you of the journey you've taken togetherâfrom a rookie and his training officer to partners in both crime and love.
You return Tim's smile with one of your own, your eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, you know, just thought I'd drop by and say hi," you reply casually, purposely avoiding his question. "How's your day been?"
There's a twinkle in your eye as you meet his gaze, a silent acknowledgment of the love and understanding that binds you together. Despite the complexities of your situation, there's an unspoken agreement between youâa shared understanding of the sacrifices you've made for the sake of your relationship.
Tim chuckles at your playful evasion, rolling his eyes. "Smooth as always," he replies, though there's a hint of amusement in his tone. "But seriously, what are you doing here?"
You feign innocence, batting your eyelashes at Tim with exaggerated sweetness. "You know I can't tell you." you tease, knowing full well that your response will only fuel his curiosity further.
Tim lets out a mock sigh, shaking his head in amusement. "Fine, keep your secrets," he says with a playful grin. "But just remember, I know where you sleep at night."
You laugh at his playful threat, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "Wouldn't dream of it," you reply with a wink, before turning your attention to Lucy, who's been watching the exchange with interest.
A curious expression played on her face as Tim takes the opportunity to introduce you. "Officer Chen, meet Y/N," he says, gesturing to you with a fond smile. "She's a pain in the ass sometimes, but if you ignore her, she's ok."
"Nice to meet you, Lucy," you say, your tone friendly and inviting as you offered Lucy a warm smile, extending your hand in greeting. "I've heard so much about you."
Lucy returns your smile, her curiosity piqued. "Nice to meet you," she replies, shaking your hand. "How do you know Tim, if you don't mind me asking?"
You glance at Tim with a mischievous twinkle in your eye, a playful smirk playing at your lips. "Oh, you know," you reply cryptically, earning a raised eyebrow from Tim. "We go way back. Let's just say he owes me a few favors."
Tim lets out an exasperated sigh, knowing full well that you're enjoying teasing him. "Don't listen to her, Chen," he says with a chuckle.
"You should listen to me if you want to survive him." you winked at his rookie " I created the monster and I'm the only one who knows how to defeat him."
Tim's eyebrows shoot up in mock indignation, his lips curling into a playful smirk. "Hey now, watch it," he retorts, feigning offense. "I'll have you know, she doesn't need any help from you."
You laugh at Tim's exaggerated reaction, shooting him a knowing look. "Oh, I'm sure Lucy can handle herself just fine," you reply with a wink, earning a chuckle from Lucy.
"Waitâ" the rookie began as realisation hits "You are Tim's TO?"
You glanced at your husband, smiling brightly as he put his grumpy expression on, "Guilty as charged."
As Lucy's eyes widen in shock and excitement, she can barely contain her enthusiasm. Her mind is racing with questions as she tries to process the realization that she's standing face-to-face with the legendary training officer.
The rookie turns to Tim, her expression incredulous. "You never mentioned her before!" she exclaims.
Tim crossed his arms above his chest, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice. "Because my life is none of your business, Officer Chen," he retorts.
She faced you with a barrage of questions, her enthusiasm didn't wane, "What was Tim like as a rookie? I heard he wasn't so keen on following orders, is it true?"
You smiled at her, starting to like her more and more. She's definitely giving Tim a hard time. What you know from Tim and seeing her so curious and exited, you knew she has what it takes to be a successful cop.
Before you can respond, Tim interrupts, his irritation growing by the second. "Alright, that's enough, Chen," he barks, his tone firm and commanding. "Shop, now!"
"Yes, sir."
Lucy's excitement fades as she reluctantly obeys Tim's orders, shooting you an apologetic look before hurrying off to prepare for the patrol. As she disappears from view, Tim lets out a frustrated sigh, the grumpiness lifting slightly as he turns back to you.
"She seems nice," you comment, nodding towards where Lucy disappeared. "She's a good kid."
Tim sighs, running a hand through his hair as he considers your words. "Yeah, you're probably right," he admits, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
You reach out to gently squeeze his hand, a reassuring smile playing on your lips. "I know, and I know that sometimes a little kindness goes a long way," you say gently. "She'll appreciate it in the long run."
As Tim gazes at you, a mixture of admiration and gratitude flickers in his eyes. He's more than just a grumpy, hard-to-please manâhe's a devoted husband, a dedicated cop, and a man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. Despite his tough exterior, there's a vulnerability in his gaze.
The sun filters through the windows of the station, its golden rays dance across Tim's face, casting a warm glow that accentuates his rugged features. He appears even more handsome in this moment, his chiseled jawline and piercing gaze illuminated by the soft light.
His sandy blonde hair catches the sunlight, creating a halo of golden warmth around his head. His eyes, usually sharp and focused, soften in the gentle light, revealing a depth of emotion that takes your breath away.
As Tim searched your face, you're bathed in a soft, ethereal glow, the sunlight highlighting the delicate contours of your face and the warmth of your smile. Your eyes, a mesmerizing shade, sparkle with mischief and warmth, drawing him in like a moth to a flame.
He peaked around at the officers, everyone minding their business, before he leaned in, his warm breath caressing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His hand gently cups your cheek, his touch tender yet possessive, as if he never wants to let you go. You feel the soft brush of his lips against yours, a gentle yet insistent pressure that ignites a fire deep within your soul.
As the kiss deepens, you feel his other hand slide around your waist, pulling you closer until there's barely an inch of space between you. His touch is electrifying, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body as you melt into his embrace.
His lips move against yours with a hunger that matches your own, each kiss a testament to the love and longing that burns between you. There's a raw intensity to his touch, a desperate need to be as close to you as humanly possible.
For a brief instant, time seems to stand still as you respond eagerly, your heart racing as you lean into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his embrace. Despite its brevity, the intensity of the moment leaves you dizzy with desire, longing for more even as you reluctantly pull away.
Before the moment can linger, Tim's attention is drawn to something behind you. With a quick glance over your shoulder, you realize that Lucy is watching from afar, a curious expression on her face, sided by her mouth forming an "o" shape filled with surprise.
Tim's lips curl into a wry smile as he leans in to murmur in your ear, his voice barely above a whisper. "Looks like we've got a little shadow," he says, amusement dancing in his eyes. "She's gonna be a pain in my ass all day!"
You laugh softly at Tim's comment, shaking your head in amusement. "Well, you did sign up for this when you became her TO," you tease, a playful glint in your eyes. "Just be nice, okay? She's just curious."
Tim rolls his eyes at your advice, but there's a hint of affection in his gaze as he gazes at you. "Fine, I'll try to play nice," he concedes with a grin. "But no promises if she starts asking too many questions."
As your husband heads off for patrol with Lucy, you find yourself seated across from Sergeant Grey in his office, the familiar surroundings offering a sense of comfort amidst the chaos of the precinct. His office is tidy yet lived-in, with stacks of paperwork neatly organized on his desk and a few personal mementos scattered aboutâa photo of his family, a commendation plaque from his years of service.
Wade offers you a warm smile as you settle into your seat, "Y/N, it's been a while. Think the last time I saw you was at your wedding?"
You nod in agreement, "It hasn't been that long. But you know Metro, it keeps me busy."
"Well, it's always a pleasure to have you around." Sergeant Grey's words of praise for your time as an officer at the station warm your heart, "You were one of the best we had," he continues, sincerity evident in his tone. "It's a shame to lose you to Metro."
As the conversation progresses, you take a deep breath before broaching the subject of your visit. "Sir, I'm here on official business," you explain, your tone serious. "Metro is recruiting, and I'm here to find the best officer for the job."
Grey nods in understanding, "I see. And do you have anyone in mind?" he asks, leaning forward slightly.
You hesitate for a moment before responding. "Actually, I do," you admit, your gaze meeting his. "I think Officer Bradford would be the best fit for Metro."
He considers your words for a moment before responding. "I have to say, I agree with you, Tim would make an excellent addition to Metro."
There's a hint of hesitation in your eyes as he speaks, and you can tell that he senses there's more to your recommendation than meets the eye. "Is there something else on your mind, Y/N?" he asks, his tone gentle but probing.
You paused, choosing your words carefully before responding. "Well, sir, it's just... I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to recommend Tim," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "I don't want it to seem like a conflict of interests."
You found yourself grappling with a mix of emotions. There's a deep-rooted sense of pride your work, coupled with a genuine desire to see Tim succeed in his career.
"Trust me, Y/N, Officer Bradford's qualifications speak for themselves." he leaned back on his chair, "Don't worry about it. I'll handle it from here. We both know you and Tim keep your private life apart, and I'll make sure Metro knows this decision is based solely on Tim's achievements."
Sergeant Grey's words sink in, a rush of relief floods through you, washing away some of the anxiety that had been gnawing at your nerves. It's comforting to know that your integrity as an officer won't be called into question, that your personal connection with Tim won't overshadow his merits.
With a grateful smile, you nod in appreciation, the knot of worry in your stomach loosening with each word he speaks. "Thank you, Sir."
"Now go find your husband!"
In the dimly lit interior of the shop, the tension between Tim and Lucy was palpable. Lucy's curiosity burned bright, fueled by suspicions and unanswered questions.
"So..." Lucy ventured, breaking the uneasy silence. "I saw you and Y/N kissing, back at the station. Is she your girlfriend?"
Tim's jaw clenched at the inquiry, his gaze fixed on the road ahead. "That's none of your business, Chen," he shot back, his tone gruff.
Lucy persisted, undeterred by his dismissive tone. "Come on, Tim," she pressed. "You can't just brush this off. I obviously know there's something going on between you two."
But Tim remained stoic, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. "I said it's none of your business," he repeated, his voice terse.
Lucy gaze lingered on him, studying his face. She couldn't read anything but irritation caused by her intrusion into his private life. She searched his hands, no sight of any ring, so the possibility of you being his wife dropped.
"Do you like her?" she insisted.
"What's the proper procedure for securing a crime scene?" he replied to her question, avoiding giving any details about you.
"Come on. You can't avoid this forever. Are you and her just colleagues, or is there something more?"
Tim's irritation simmers beneath the surface, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. He had hoped to avoid this line of questioning, to keep his personal life separate from his professional one. But Lucy's relentless curiosity had pushed him to his breaking point.
"What's the recommended procedure for securing a firearm during an arrest?"
She couldn't shake the feeling of defeat, knowing deep down that Tim wouldn't give her the answers she sought. Despite her best efforts to uncover the truth about Tim's relationship with you, she found herself hitting a dead end.
"I saw the way you look at her. You have feelings for her?"
"When searching a suspect, what areas of their body should you prioritize for pat-downs?"
"Fine. I'll shut up."
Confusion clouded Lucy's thoughts as she struggled to make sense of the situation. She couldn't understand why Tim was so guarded about his personal life, especially when it came to someone who seemed to hold such significance to him. It left her feeling unsettled, a nagging sense of curiosity gnawing at her.
As he focuses on the road ahead, he can't help but feel annoyed by Lucy's persistence. He knows she means well, but he's not ready to share the intimate details of his relationship with the woman he loves. He just wants to focus on their job, to keep their partnership strictly professional.
As lunchtime approached, the bustling street food area near the station came to life with the sound of chatter and the aroma of sizzling food. Amidst the crowd, you found an empty table, enjoying the inviting atmosphere, with colorful umbrellas providing shade from the midday sun as you waited for Tim.
Your husband approached the table where you were seated, a sense of defeat hung heavy in the air, exhausted from all of his rookie's questions. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, a tangible reminder of the connection you shared.
As the conversation turns to you, Tim leans in with a curious glint in his eyes. "So, what were you doing at the station earlier?"
"Metro sent me to find a recruit," you confess, your gaze meeting Tim's.
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "And did you find one?"
Angela rises from her seat, flashing a smile, "I hate to break up the party, but duty calls. I'll catch you guys later."
You nod understandingly, bidding her farewell with a wave as she heads off to resume her patrol.
You return your attention to Tim, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Yeah. You."
Tim's eyes widen in disbelief, his expression a mix of shock and excitement. "Me? Are you serious?"
Nyla's figure blended into the bustling crowd as she disappears down the street with her rookie, leaving you and Tim alone.
You give him a knowing smirk. "Dead serious. They've been considering you for a while. Sending me down to the station was just a formalityâa test, to see if I was ready for a promotion or something."
"You're getting promoted?"
"Uh-huh."
"That's awesome, babe. I'm proud of you."
As the lunch break comes to an end for Tim, he and his rookie prepare to go on patrol again. They stand by the patrol car, gearing up for their shift.
"Lucy, you're driving," Tim says, tossing her the keys with a grin. "Show me what you got."
Lucy's eyes light up with excitement as she catches the keys, nodding eagerly. "You got it, Officer Bradford. Shotgun!"
While Tim is in the shop, double-checking some equipment, you lean over the car door, catching his attention. "Hey," you say softly, a hint of concern in your voice. "Be safe out there, okay? And have a good time."
Tim gives you a reassuring smile, placing a hand over yours on the door. "Always am, love. Don't worry about me."
Just as the car starts to move, you lean in closer, your voice barely a whisper against the noise of the street. "And Tim... I'm pregnant."
Tim's eyes widen in surprise, his heart skipping a beat at the unexpected news. You placed a playful kiss on his cheek, before the car pulls away, you watch Tim drive off with a mixture of excitement and fear.
You were scared of his reaction, delivering him the news this way gave you time to process and turn all the possible scenarios upside down.
He meets your gaze one last time before the car disappears down the street, a rush of emotions flooding his mindâjoy, excitement, and a touch of nervousness. But above all, there's a deep sense of love and gratitude for the life you've created together.
"Did you get your TO pregnant?" Lucy asks, her tone a mixture of surprise and incredulity.
Tim's jaw tightens, a flash of irritation crossing his features at the inappropriate question. He takes a deep breath, gathering his composure before responding firmly.
"She's my wife," Tim states, his voice leaving no room for further inquiry. "Now, shut up and drive."
He reaches up to where his uniform shirt collar meets his neck, pulling out a small chain with a wedding ring and some dog tags hanging from it. It's a subtle gesture, but one that holds immense significanceâa symbol of the most important moments of his life, from fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to marrying you.
Lucy's eyes widen in realization, a flush creeping up her cheeks as she realizes her mistake. Without another word, she focuses on the road ahead, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Meanwhile, Tim sits back in his seat, his mind still reeling from the unexpected turn of events. Despite the initial shock, a sense of pride and excitement fills him at the prospect of becoming a father. And as the patrol car speeds through the city streets, Tim's thoughts are consumed with thoughts of the future.
SUMMARY: When Bucky and Sam get stranded in a Storm, they go to the nearest place they can, Buckyâs country home, but what happens when Walker shows up at the front door too?
WARNINGS: Fluff! Touch of angst, angry southern woman (this is a definite warning, if you've lived with one, you know."
Word Count: 1844
A/N: It's been storming its butt off here down south and as I was baking brownies this idea popped into my head and made me giggle, so I hope yall get a chuckle out of it too! Stay safe out there <3
Enjoy! <3
Dividers by Rookthorne
The mission was a disaster. Not only had they just got their asses kicked, but they also had to deal with the Bullshit from John Walker and then the country sky opened up with an early summer thunderstorm, drenching the two men with its torrential downpour. Â
âWe are hours away from the nearest safe house.â Sam sighed, looking at the database.
 Bucky looked over at his teammate, Sam was suppressing a shiver each time the wind blew. His split lip and bruised cheek getting more gnarly with each passing minute. He looked up at the sky, the dark swirling clouds showing no signs of letting up any time soon. Fearing for Sam's health and with no other option in sight, Bucky let out a sigh.Â
âI know a place.â Sam raised a curious eyebrow but didn't ask any questions, the idea of a warm shelter too tempting to risk Bucky changing his mind. Bucky looked around for a moment, to Sam it almost seemed like he was calculating his location based on the landmarks before giving a little nod.
âShould be just on the other side of this field. 15-minute walk give or take.â Bucky concluded, making his way through the field, Sam not far behind him.Â
Soon, the pair found themselves on the front porch of an old country farmhouse, the white porch swing swaying violently as the storm picked up. Bucky reached for the doorknob before pausing and looking over his shoulder at Sam, fixing him in his infamous glare before uttering a low warning.Â
âNot a word of this to anyone. You hear me?â
Sam was used to Buckyâs gruffness at this point in their partnership but this was a new level of protectiveness that he hadnât seen before. He raised his hands in a placating motion before agreeing. The tension that seemed to be permanently engraved in Buckyâs form disappeared as soon as he stepped through the door. The sound of their entrance caused a woof to erupt from a room on the other side of the downstairs. Bucky toed off his boots, motioning for Sam to do the same when a rusty-colored dog came rushing into the room through a dog door barking his head off. Bucky let out a chuckle, catching Sam by surprise, watching as Bucky then crouched down to greet the dog.
âHey whiskey, itâs just me bubba.â Bucky cooed, scratching the pup behind his pointy ears.
âWhereâs your momma little man?â Bucky asked the pup, removing his hand as the dog darted off back through the dog door before poking his head back through, watching the two men.Â
Bucky stood, and followed after the dog, waving Sam along with him. The pair walked through a second door and they were both hit with a wave of warmth, causing Sam to let out a little sigh. The house smelled of cocoa and sugar, the sound of the storm outside blending into the calming atmosphere while a record played in the background. Just as Bucky was about to walk through a little hallway, Sam caught his shoulder, turning Bucky to look at him.
âMan, where the hell are we?â He asked, and then nearly fell out when he saw pink flush the ex assassins cheeks.Â
âUh, this is my home. I uh, I live here.â Bucky mumbled shyly refusing to look Sam in the face. Sam raised an eyebrow.
âYou live here on your own?â He pressed a little further. Bucky shook his head.
âNah, I live here with my girl.âÂ
A person appeared from around the hall corner as if on cue, the little red dog hot on her heels. She looked at the two men, her gaze fixing on Bucky. She smiled at him sweetly, brushing her hands off on her apron, leaving floury handprints in her wake.Â
âBucky! Youâre home!â She waltzed over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, pulling back realizing how cold his skin was.Â
âJames youâre freezinâ and gettinâ water all over my hardwood floor.â She scolded him a country accent slipping out as she spoke. She then noticed Sam standing behind him and pursed her lips before fixing Bucky in a glare.
âYou brought company over here in an even more sorry state than you and havenât offered him anything to dry himself off or a fresh change of clothes!â She proceeded to chase the two men up the stairs giving strict instructions to change and dry off while she put a pot of coffee on.Â
Sam let out a chuckle as the woman made her way back to where he presumed the kitchen was as the pair made their way upstairs.Â
âSheâs a spitfire huh?â Sam asked, taking the change of clothes from Bucky who just shrugged slightly, a soft smile decorating his features.
âYeah, you could say that.Â
Now in dry clothes, the two men wandered into the kitchen right as she pulled two batches of brownies out of the oven. She looked up after setting the brownies on the counter, giving a nod of approval seeing the men in a more presentable state. She wandered over to a cabinet throwing it open and reaching for the coffee cups on the top shelf, just out of her reach when Bucky appeared behind her, pulling them down from the shelf and placing them in her hands.
She smiled sweetly up at him before standing up on her toes and planting a quick kiss on his lips.Â
âThank you darlinââ She smiled softly.
âOf course doll.â Bucky smiled right back, stepping out of her way as she moved away to pour the coffee.Â
âSam? How do you want your coffee honey?â She called out, pulling out the cream and sugar.Â
âUh, just black is fine. Thank you-â His words faded out, not knowing this woman's name. She handed him a mug with a chicken on it before handing another mug with a goat on it to Bucky before she spoke.
âY/n.â She sent him a sweet smile before picking up her own mug and leaning into Buckyâs side who had lifted his arm to make room for her.Â
Sam had a smirk on his face looking between Y/n and Bucky as he spoke, âI didnât know Bucky had a girlfriend,â He drawled out the word girlfriend, watching Buckyâs cheeks get darker as he looked anywhere but at his partner as Y/n laughed.Â
âYeah, he doesnât want to tell too many people. Somethinâ âbout worryinâ for my safety.â She shook her head as if the thought of Bucky trying to protect her made her laugh.Â
Sam nodded in an understanding fashion. âDoes anyone know about your little secret Buck?â Sam teased lightly. Bucky gave a soft smile with a faraway look in his eyes.Â
âSteve did.â At the mention of the name, the room grew heavy with sadness. Y/n seemed to shift a little deeper into Buckyâs embrace before stepping away cutting the brownies and giving each man a piece.Â
âSo you knew Steve.â Sam started, looking at Y/n thoughtfully.Â
âYes, I did.â She started with a sad smile. âIt was a bad storm like today, he and Bucky showed up at my door looking like two drowned rats, thinking it was one of the safe houses. Well, they were so pitiful lookinâ that I couldnât just turn them away. So much like you two, I brought them inside, put them in dry clothes, and made them some coffee.âÂ
Just then there was a knock at the door. Bucky set down his coffee cup and went to investigate, leaving Sam and Y/n alone in the kitchen. Y/n reached over the counter and placed a hand over Samâs.
âLook sugar, I understand why you did what you did.â She said softly. âDo I agree with it? No. Does Bucky agree with it? Of course not.â She let out a sigh before continuing. âBut I understand it. But if there is one thing I know about Steve Rogers, is that he wouldnât have just left anyone with that shield.â She concluded, patting his hand when Bucky let out a shout, causing the pair in the kitchen to dart to the front room.
When they arrived, there was a soaking-wet John Walker and Lamar Hoskins standing on the front porch. Y/n walked up to stand next to Bucky before looking at the two men.
âCan I help you two boys?â She asked, glancing from one to the other. John, seeming to puff up in the presence of a pretty lady, extended his hand out.Â
âGood evening maâam. John Walker, Captain America.â Y/n looked from his hand to his face, making no move to accept his handshake.Â
âYour name very well may be John Walker, but youâre mistaken on the Captain America part sweetheart.â She gave him a once over before continuing, âYou look more like a sorry excuse for a rodeo clown on the fourth of July than Captain America, but either way, that didnât answer my question.â
She took a step up to Walker looking him dead in the eye. âCan I help you?â John seemed to deflate, stuttering over his words trying to make some sort of logical sense. Y/n raised her eyebrows waiting patiently for this worm of a man to get his act together and with no end to his incoherent mumblings in sight, she sighed.Â
âWell, if you donât need anything, Iâll have Hades show you out.â She said sweetly. Bucky chuckled lightly before backing up to stand next to Sam.
Sam leaned over to Bucky. âWho the hell is Hades?â Bucky just nodded towards the door as Y/n let out a loud whistle.
âHades! We have some guests that need to be escorted out.â As soon as the word âoutâ left her mouth, a huge black Doberman appeared out of nowhere, growling and barking at the two men at the front door. With one loud bark, Walker went flying off the front step and back down the path to where their car was waiting, Lamar, hot on his heels as Hades bounded down the steps chasing them off with Whiskey following suit.Â
The two dogs watched attentively as the car drove off and once they deemed the men to be far enough away, came bounding back into the house, tongue lolling out of their mouths, causing the trio to laugh until the dogs were inside making a mad dash for the living room.
âBoys! You get back here!â Y/n shouted, grabbing a towel off a nearby chair and chasing after the two soaking wet dogs. Bucky, still laughing, walked over to the door closing it before walking back over to Sam, who clapped him on the shoulder.Â
âYouâve got yourself a good one,â Sam concluded. âDonât let her get away.â Bucky smiled watching on in amusement as Whiskey ran by with the towel that Y/n had grabbed to dry him off, with her hot on his heels.
Can you do a angsty Matt story? Maybe when hanging out with friends he made a rude comment and the reader got upset but he didnât notice so when they go back to his house Chris/nick notice somethings wrong not Matt which makes the reader angry and they fight?
a/n: if you look at my doc where i wrote this at, this took up 15 pages of utter horror
warning/content ahead: ANGST LETS GO, matt x anxious!asthmatic!reader, fighting, crying, arguing, anxiety attacks, asthma attacks, bsf!chris yesss go girl, like one oc i made up, lmk if i missed anything
-
TOUCHED
You trail closely behind your boyfriend, the mall large and filled with people, getting stopped every five minutes for a new fan to take a photo with him. You being the one forced to take them.
You hand a fan their phone back, watching as they skip somewhere off to the side. You sigh, and Matt goes in to reach for your hand, understanding your frustration, but you flinch away, making sure he doesn't grab a hold of it. "You okay?" He questioned.
You guys have barely made it past the entrance of the mall and this was the eighth fan to come up to him, it was a day made just for the two of you and now it's being slowly stripped away from you as you take pictures of him next to strangers. You didn't want to seem sensitive, but answered nonetheless, lying through your teeth. "Of course."
You dart your eyes around the place for a distraction, landing on a pretzel stand. "Oh! Wanna get a soft pretzel?" You get excited, gesturing to the stand. Matt follows your gaze and his face brightens. "Oh, god yes. I've been wanting one for weeks." He utters.
He grabs ahold of your hand and you take it back immediately, shoving it in your pockets and looking around to see if anyone saw that. No, thankfully, not. You hoped.
You watched his adam's apple bob as he dropped his gaze, you two walking over to the stand. "You looking to buy a pretzel?" A young woman in the stand asks, fixing her uniform hat. "Yes, please--" You start but quickly get interrupted.
"Wait, are you Matt Sturniolo?" She asks, her demeanor changing to reach for her phone. You swallow your throat dry as he answers. "Oh my god, can I get a picture?" She doesn't wait for an answer, getting around from the stand as she gets her phone ready. Matt shoots you an apologetic look as you ignore it, taking the phone that was handed to you and snapping a picture of them, your face expressionless.
"Thank you so much." You give her a small smile just to quickly realize she wasn't even looking at you, but at your boyfriend. "What did you guys want?"
You order, every sense of excitement completely flushed out of your body as you chew at your pretzel. You guys were now standing at some corner of the mall shadowed, somewhere Matt had insisted on standing to eat your pretzels in peace.
You chew on your soft pretzel, calculating the place around you before turning your attention to look up at him. He examines your face, one side of his cheek stuffed as he chews on it. He chuckles to himself, "You got a little somethin'' Matt's gaze was on your upper lip, lifting a thumb to brush off whatever was on there but you quickly moved your head back. You block his gesture with your own hand, removing any crumbs that were on you.
He finishes what was in his mouth. "Look," He starts but you dismiss it immediately, knowing what he's about to say. "Let's spend this day without any problems, okay?" You tell him softly before he could get a chance to explain himself. He sighs, looking like he's considering what you're saying.
"Okay." He agrees, "But, can I get a quick kiss?" He asks, a small frown on his face. You look around, seeing one too many people. "When we go home." You answer.
PDA in general isn't your cup of tea, but little stuff like holding hands and small physical touching you didn't mind. Matt was aware of that, you guys have been together for months. You'd think he'd got you all figured out. But as his career was skyrocketing, so was your problem with PDA.
It felt like everyone was watching, the anxiety of his fans probably seeing something and snapping a picture, posting it to the internet without either of your consent swelled your mind. His fans are what worried you, with how cruel they could be and the all seeing eyes of judgment. You loved Matt and wouldn't leave him for the world, he was your partner in crime. But making it public seemed like a death wish, millions of fans deranged enough to find a way to have you two broken up.
You weren't embarrassed of him, that was the farthest thing you felt. If anything, you felt like you were the one embarrassing him. You couldn't afford to paint such a picture for him and you didn't want any more fans to go any harsher on him. You were doing this because you cared for him, that's what he didn't seem to understand.
-
You stood in front of your mirror, having your hand slide down your curves, the dress hugging you exceptionally tight in all the right places. Your hair was in a messy updo, revealing your delicate shoulders and collarbones, messy strands untied to the updo, flying filmy around in soft motion. You were thrilled to see the look on your boyfriend's face when he sees you, knowing this a dress he would drool over, especially on you.
Picking up your phone, you notice your girl friends texting you, saying they were outside ready to pick you up. You, your boyfriend Matt, his brothers, and a bunch of friends are all going to some fancy restaurant in LA. Excited, you spray yourself in your signature scent and head out.
You got multiple compliments, which meant a lot coming from your close friends, but whether you wanted to admit or not, nothing mattered until you saw Matt.
You spare your friend, Em, a lip liner from your bag as you watch the restaurant appear into view. Em had made it her mission to somehow get Chris to fall in love with her by the end of the night, and you were curious to see how that would go. Peering out the window, you see Matt, his brothers, and their male friends conversing in front of the place, waiting on you guys. Almost everyone you were hanging out with tonight were influencers, not you though.
You feel your heart skip a beat when you see him, urging your friend to hurry up and park. He looked perfect. "Okay! Okay, give me a minute." She laughs, doing as you please. In seconds, you're out of the vehicle and greeting everyone, greeting the ones closest to you first. Nate, Chris, a friend, Nick, who doesn't hide his impressed look on his face. "Are you heaven sent? Holy fuck, you look amazing." He says and you fail to hide the erupting flattered chuckle, "Says you, wouldn't be surprised if you left tonight with multiple new numbers in your phone." You say, before turning to your boyfriend with a dimpled-smile.
You engulf him into a hug, one that has his scent swirling around you and comforting you instantly, one that takes him by surprise and stiffly hugs you back. "You look so handsome, pretty boy." You look up at him, pulling away from the hug. His expression was confused, the smile he had when talking to his friends disappearing when you pulled him into a kiss in front of everyone. Pulling back down, you stare up at him, waiting for him to say something.
"Thanks." He says, looking away from you and going to greet the other girls that tagged along. You were still smiling, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. That was it? He's usually more touchy than this. You watched him hug all the other girls, with hands around their waist a gleaming smile playing. You wondered if that's what he looked like hugging you too.
He pulls away and you stare at his hand, his finger ringed and the urge to hold it was strong. You reach a hand out to hold onto it, but he moves all too quickly in a motion of conversing with a friend before you can grasp onto it. Leaving you holding no ones hands but your own.
Turning your head away, you go and greet his other friends.
-
You sat at the long white-clothed table, picking lightly at the petaled roses displayed in front of you. Your boyfriend sat somewhere far down the table, across from Em. While you sat across from Chris, with Nick right beside you. Nick seemed to be caught up in a conversation with the girl on the other side of him. As for Matt, he was talking to both Nate and Em.
You can't help but look at him every second, he was so interested in whatever they were talking about he didn't even bother to make sure he sat next to you. He wasn't that far down the table, but far enough where you couldn't reach him. You could see and hear him, yet not touch him. For the first time in a while, you were upset about it.
You were forced to break your gaze from on him, turning to examine the beyond-fancy restaurant. Gold plated things everywhere, marble, high ceilings and long draped curtains. Maybe you were underdressed. Looking back down, you look at the rose petal you had accidentally broken off.
Everyone around you was engulfed in their own conversation while you just sat there, feeling the softness of the petal before slowly ripping it to shreds. Everything around you began hitting you in the wrong places, everything was too loud, the lights felt too hot on your skin, the place needed air conditioning, the waiter was taking too long. Your hands began to shake as the ripped petals fell from your grasp.
"Hey." You feel a quick kick to your shin and you look up. "Hey, Chris." You couldn't help but smile. Chris was definitely one of your best friends, all of the triplets were. But Chris knew how to take your mind off anything. His eyes darted from your shaking hands to your expression. "Why aren't you next to your boyfriend?" He asked with a small smile, one that made you feel like he was about to crack a joke.
"You mean Matt?" You dart your gaze over to him, he was fully laughing now. "Yeah. Unless you have a separate boyfriend here." Chris practically rolls his eyes as you feel the quiver of her hands quicken. You try to stop them putting your hands on top of each other and applying pressure, hoping to stop it. "I think he just got caught up with his friends on a topic or something." You say in regards to Matt.
"Mm." Chris hums, nodding to what you're saying. He slowly leans against the table, getting closer to you. His voice drops a few tones as he asks you something. "What's wrong?" He gestures to your hands, voice whispery. You look back down to see your hands still shaking, you quickly hide them under the table and rest on your lap.
"My anxiety, Chris." You answer, looking at the open lights behind him before quickly looking away, feeling a headache form. "Everything here is so overwhelming." You answer honestly.
In Chris's mind, he puts two and two together. He knew you were telling the truth, but he also knew you wouldn't be this anxious unless you were seated next to his brother. He was aware that his brother had an effect on you that would immediately help with your anxiety, giving you some sort of comfort in uncomfortable scenarios. Chris cared about you like you were his sister, and he wished he had that sort of effect on you too, wanting nothing but to keep you happy.
He sighs, leaning back. "It is pretty overwhelming here, huh." He mutters, taking a sip from a water that was definitely Nick's, but he was too distracted to notice. You smile at the gesture, and he sips down the water and holds it up to you. "Want some?" He lifts his eyebrows, and you shake your head with a smile. "You sure, 'cause the ethereal hint of Sir Nicolas's saliva really just melts on your tongue."
You scrunch up your nose with a laugh as Nick's head snaps to Chris's direction. "What the fuck are you doing, Chris?" Nick's tone was warning. Chris pops a shoulder. "Oh, you know, drinking some delish water."
"Delish?" Nick repeats, "Did my water turn you gay?" That's what makes both you and Chris erupt into laughter, and you can't help but to even rub your eyes, careful not to mess up any of your eye makeup. Chris does the same, laughing more because you were rather than Nick's joke. Nick even chuckles a little, snatching his water back and keeping it beside him. "Dummy fuck."
It takes you a second to compose yourself, noticing just how loud you and Chris are being. With the failed attempt to keep yourself from laughing, you lean to Chris. "Shâ" You interrupt yourself with a laugh. "Shh, we're going to get kicked out." Your cheeks were hurting, the joke wasn't even that funny. Now you guys were just laughing because of the other one.Â
Chris opens his eyes, squinting at you as he tries to lower his laugh a notch, holding a finger in front of his mouth as he attempts to shush you too, but only laughs more.
The two of you were unaware, but Matt had been staring at you since the moment Chris had kicked your shin. He watched as he leaned into and whispered something too inaudible, then kept his gaze on you guys until you were almost on the floor laughing. Jealousy burnt through his chest, and some form of hurt anger erupted, aiming directly at you.Â
Everybody at the table now was looking at you guys, laughing a little along with you guys from the scene in front of them, not really sure what you guys were laughing at. You watch as a waiter begins to approach from behind Chris, and you immediately kick his leg, maybe a little harsher than intended. "Ow!" He jumps, and you point to the region behind him, he turns his head and sees the approaching waiter. He turns his head back immediately, his eyes wide as he tries to swallow down his laughs. Which seemed even funnier to you.
It was a struggle for you two to order, and Nick had to be the one to order for you guys. You felt immature and childish, but it somehow made you feel better about yourself knowing that Chris did as well.
Em starts talking from your row, across from Matt, as she aims her topic at Chris. "We're gonna have to wait even longer for our food now, am I right?" She says, making her voice slightly louder so Chris would be able to hear her, but his attention wasn't even on her, he was completely fixated on you, accidentally ignoring her completely.
"Ugh." He mutters, clenching onto his stomach. "My stomach hurts so fucking bad now." He almost moaned, and you grin. This is the most you've smiled all night. Now that he's mentioned it, you feel a cramp begin to form in your stomach too. "Oh, shit. Me too." You lay your palm on the thin material of your dress. "Fuck you, making me laugh so hard." You say, feeling your stomach begin to worsen.
"Me?" He scoffs, "Nick is the one that made the joke, loser." He defends, both of you guys matching with a hand on your stomachs. "Yeah, but your laugh is stupid." You tell him, he has an offended look on his face. "Your laugh is also stupid."
You shrug. "Your laugh is stupider."
-
In all honesty, Chris is what got you through the entire night. When the conversation would die down and you would shift your attention back to Matt, Chris managed a way to keep you from feeling gloomy again. Your boyfriend hadn't spoken a word to you since the moment you guys had stepped into that restaurant.
Now, everyone was getting up from their seats on the table and they left tips under their empty plates. Soon, everyone would need to leave.
You follow them out of the building, noticing how later it was at night and how you should've brought a jacket for the chilly night. You look for Matt, hoping he would provide you with some sort of warmth with his body heat. As everyone approaches their cars, they all linger there, deciding to hang out in the parking lot a little longer.
Chris was now talking to Nate and his other friend, not paying any mind to Em that was trailing behind him. You notice Matt telling Nick and his friends a few things, and you immediately get the idea to stand next to him. Hopefully the quiet game was over now, and he would finally talk to you now that you were closer. Standing next to Matt, who's in a conversation of his own, you gently lean yourself on him, letting your bare arm brush against his clothed body, providing you with the smallest bits of warmth. Usually, he'd cover your shoulders with an arm draped over it, but here, he doesn't do anything.
You lay your head on his shoulder as he continues talking, not even batting an eye toward you as you let out a small breath, watching as the air coming out of your mouth turns into cold fog. It was freezing out, and a gust of wind flew your way, giving you a series of shivers down your back. Subconsciously, you lean close to him.
"Can you stop?" He huffs, stepping away from you as you almost trip, just now noticing how dependent you were being on him. Nick furrows his eyebrows. The trip had sent your ankle to bend, small rocks digging their way into your skin. "Sorry." You swallow, fixing your shoe, your foot stinging.
The groups navigated to this one, and everyone was around each other, getting ready to head home but wanted to spare the time a little longer. You spoke to Em, who admitted she gave up on Chris. "He was hopeless." She sighed.
You spoke to the girls who drove you here. You loved them dearly, they were the kindest and the closest girls to you. Now, your attention shifted to Matt, who was listening to Nate speak to everyone. "Bro, I'm just glad the plans made it out of the group chat and everyone managed to come tonight. You know how long we've wanted to do this?" Nate mumbled the usual way he does.
"For real, plus, everyone looks fucking fantastic." Nick says, turning his head to you. "I'm looking at you, cutie." He points at you, winking. Everyone begins agreeing, and you start to believe it. Maybe you did look good tonight.
You turn your head to look at Matt, cranking your neck a little to look up at him. He looks past you, down at the pavement. "Whatever you say." He mutters under his breath, his face blank and you feel your heart begin to shatter like glass. No one seemed to have heard him, and you begin to wonder if it was just your imagination.
"What?" You question, looking at him. Your eyes start to get glassy, and the moonlight hits your face just right, making Chris notice what was going on. Matt ignores you, clasping his hand together. "All right, I guess it's time to go home."
"You're coming with us, right?" Nick asks you as everybody begins getting in their cars. "That was the plan." Chris says, looking at you for confirmation as you tried to bite down every part of your body that felt like it was being stung with needles. Swallowing your mouth dry, you answer. "I think I'll go home tonight."
Nick and Chris's faces visibly go confused. "Home with us, right?" You shake your head, your neck stuck in a stiff and still to keep yourself from accidentally looking at Matt. It felt like if you even tried to look at him, you would burst out crying. "Home to my apartment."
"Aw man, please?" Nick frowns, and you shake your head, hearing their car start. You hear Matt call your name out and you physically feel your heart clench. "Just fucking come." He groaned, entering the car and slamming the door harshly, enough to leave you flinch. Your eyes got subconsciously wide, trying to expand your sight as if it'll keep the tears from rushing out completely. Chris and Nick look at Matt then you, then at each other, utterly bewildered. "I'll come." Your voice barely came out, completely dumbfounded by his aggressiveness.
"Let's go." Chris puts a gentle hand on your arm, leading you to the back of the car as Nick rushed to the passenger seat. "Matt, what the fuck is your problem?" Nick was a tone away from considering yelling, no doubt angry with the way he was treating you. Matt just sighs.
Chris watches you with sorrow as you take your time entering the car, noticing just how bad you sprained your ankle, needing to hold onto his hand to enter the vehicle. The second you scoot to the middle of the back of the car, Chris immediately shoves himself inside, shutting the door as he glares at Matt through the rear mirror. "Took you two long enough." Matt growled, his voice was quiet but he spoke volumes.
"Matt, seriously, what stick is up your fucking ass?" Nick spoke with his hands, his palms spread open but his fingers clasped together as he was vigorously waiting for a response. God knew you were waiting for one too, desperate for one. It felt like piles of bricks were being laid on your chest, one by one.
"Nick, shut the fuck up." He had begun driving by now, all you could do was lay your head against the window and wait for this ride to end. "Watch your goddamn mouth, Matt." Chris didn't have his seatbelt on, sitting on the edge of the backseat as his voice was laced with impatient annoyance.
You closed your eyes, holding your own hands, lacing your fingers together as they began to shake just as they were in the restaurant when you first got there. "What are you going to fucking do, Chris? Kiss my girlfriend?" Matt argued, his voice getting louder. Your eyes fly open at the phrase.
"Matt, what?" Chris uttered, nothing but confusion written on his face.
"This is so fucking stupid." Nick declared. "Let's make it home and give her a peace of calm fucking mind. I just want her to have a good night's sleep, honestly." He sighed, referring to you. He cared about you deeply.
The ride home was uncomfortable to the brim. It felt like someone had poured thick fog into the car and made it difficult for you to breathe at a normal pace, your breaths either lasting too long or too short. The invisible fog picking at your nose and eyes, a push away from letting a tear slip. At least, for you.
Now, you are back home in your boyfriend's house. Nick leaves for his room to quickly change, as Chris lingered to do something on his phone. Usually, you'd head straight for Matt's room, given it was the one that had everything that belonged to you in, the one you'd sleep at every night.
You stood around, unsure of the next move you should make. Matt took a rootbeer out of the fridge and popped it open, looking at you as you glance at your splintered feet. "You just gonna stand there or what?" He says after a sip, another brick adding to your chest.
You approach the kitchen, passing Chris on the couch who had his gaze fixated on you, mentally begging for you to stand up for yourself. You bring up the courage to look him dead in the eye, the same ones that you had declared the most perfect eyes in the world just earlier today. "Matt, what did I do?" You finally ask, straightforwardly asking the question.
He furrowed his eyebrows in mock confusion. "What did you do? 'Cause frankly, I'd love to know." Sarcasm laced his tongue and you felt your hurt turn into anger. "Stop talking out of your ass and answer me." You say, getting closer to him that the only thing separating you two was the wide table in the middle of the kitchen.
"There's always fucking something with you, isn't there?"
"Always something with me!? You're the one who won't tell me what's wrong." You make your voice louder to match his.
"You always have some sort of problem with something, don't you!?" He was determined to out-yell you, as if his words would hit harder if he made it's volume that way.
Your body was boiling, confusion, impatience, and pure irritation an ugly mix in your stomach. He won't give you an answer, and you are fed up. You cannot let him treat you like this any longer.
"What the fuck are you talking about!?" You begin to use your hands.
"You fucking know what I'm talking about!"
With that being said, you two were now yelling over each other. The argument quickly turns into a fight, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you move them around. His voice booms throughout the house and it's enough for Nick to quickly notice what was going on from upstairs. You shouted back, begging for a simple response as he accused you of acting dumb on purpose.
The shouting was layering on top of what you two were saying, screaming and yelling what immediately comes to mind, paying no attention to what the other person is saying for the interruption until a phrase slips out that triggers the other person into saying something else.
Chris screwed his eyes shut tightly, a depressing wave floating in his chest as he felt the hurt wafting from both of you. The two people he cared about the most, fighting as he heard it all. He shuts his phone as he raises both his hands to rub on his eyes until he sees static. The unbearing sound of the two of you only getting louder.
The second Nick was done changing he was flying down the stairs, determined to break up whatever was happening.
"Matt!" Nick tried yelling over you two, but quickly noticed he'll have to do more than that, you two louder together than Nick was on his own. He attempts to call your name as well, but neither of you are aware of his presence.
You couldn't help it, hot tears were streaming down your face now as you pleaded for him to compromise. Your emotions shift between hurt, anger, and everything that comes with it. Matt definitely noticed, his gaze lingering on your glistening cheek as he only argued back faster.
Nick shoots a quick and worried look at Chris, who just so happened to open his eyes right when he did, concerned this would become something physical. Chris gets up from his spot on the couch, approaching Nick with a look that says 'how-the-hell-do-we-stop-this'.
The sight in front of them begins to get messier and their heart skips a beat when Matt doesn't stop his yelling, leaning over the table to point a finger at your face.
"You know what you're fuckingâ"
"Get your finger out of my fucking face." You spit.
" 'because it always has to be your wayâ"
"Matt, I said get your finger, Out. Of. My. Face!"
"Oh but as long as I'm doing what youâ"
You and Matt were now inches away from each other, leaning across the table but your faces uncomfortably close. A vein was practically popping out of his forehead and no doubt so was yours. Nick silently thanked God for the table that was between you two.
You begin choking up your words and losing your breath, every word attempting to form was now a struggle, a new and harsh cough interrupting it. Chris's eyes widen and Matt abruptly stops. A silent second passes as all three of them stare at you, hoping for a false alarm, but your coughs get worse as you attempt to get some air in your lungs, failing to do so.
"Her inhaler." Matt yells, panicking immediately. Chris begins shuffling under his feet as Nick has no idea what he's supposed to do. Matt slaps Chris's shoulder, "Get her fucking inhaler, now." Matt orders Chris, the two of them sprinting to Matt's room to get it.
They come back in actual seconds, Matt's room turned to junk after throwing everything out of his drawers to find it. You never thought you'd have to use your inhaler, only ever using it once a year, more or less. Your asthma was mild, but this argument definitely triggered it. It was brought to your mouth in seconds, and you needed a full moment to get your chest working properly again.
Matt's expression was now plastered with worry and fear, every sort of angry bone in his body disappearing. Now, all that mattered to him was that you were okay. And honestly, once you could see straight, you had begun crying again.
"I'm sorry." Matt brushes the hair out of your face, strands sticking to your forehead from sweat, watching you uncontrollably bawl. "I'm so sorry."
Your tears were the hottest you've ever felt on your skin, and your eyes were glowing red from how much this all hurts. "Matt, I just can't do this. Eitherâ Either tell me or fucking don't."
Nick helps you sit up and Matt swallows, deciding that he should just come clean with his behavior. But first, he needed his brothers out of here. He gave Chris a simple look and he nodded. "Nick, let's go."
And they were gone.
You had your eyes closed, all the energy in your body gone completely in one go as you waited for him to speak, a tear following another as it began to calm down. A few seconds pass as Matt tries to recoil his thoughts before finally talking.
"You hate touching me when we're anywhere that isn't a private setting." He starts, sighing through the sentence. "You'd flinch when my hand would even touch yours in the slightest. After a while, I began understanding that maybe that's just who you were. You know, not the biggest fan of public display affection, or whatever."
He swallows. "So, I got used to it. You hated it and I began working around it. Until tonight. You hugged me and kissed me in front of everyone, trying to do the things I would pray to try and do to you on the daily. I got confused." He swallowed. "You were embarrassed of me, and that's the conclusion I came up with. Deciding to touch me when the setting involved my friends." You furrow your eyebrows.
"As if.." He sighs and looks down, his chest breathing heavily as he stays like that for a moment. You opened your eyes and noticed he was about to cry. "Matt." You try to say, but your voice is hoarse and chalky.
"As if you wanted to give them this image that everything was all good. You're embarrassed of me on every single occasion except for this one, and it just fucked with my head."
You sat up fully this time. "Matt, are you nuts? Seriously?" You scoff, finally understanding everything. "I do what I do because I'm embarrassed of myself." You laugh at the irony. "If you pay attention, everytime I act this way is when we are in reach of any potential fan of yours." You say slow enough for him to process. "This restaurant was too fancy to have a deranged fan there. I was comfortable to be myself with you there because I knew that no stranger could misread the situation."
You fix a strand of hair quickly behind your ear before continuing. "I kissed you because I knew those people, and I knew that they wouldn't take a photo of it and post it on the internet without my permission, letting the internet speak absolute crap about me and judge me solely because I'm your girlfriend."
The scene was quiet as Matt registered your words, and you made sure the second was longer, replaying what he said back in your mind, as well as the entire fight that had just occurred. It all felt so pathetic to think about now, and the reason for it all finally dawned upon you two.
"All I wanted was to finally hugâand touchâmy boyfriend tonight. But all I got was an anxiety attack, an ankle sprain, and a fucking asthma attack." You finish off with a stupid laugh.
He's silent for a moment before laughing, "I should've known. Seriously. God." He rubs his eyes and you see snippets of tears slip past his fingers. You get up and hug him, and he engulfs you in the embrace before you could fully even reach him.
"I'm sorry for making you feel that way." The side of your head laid on his chest as you hugged him tightly, and he gradually took it tighter.
"No way you just apologized before me. I was supposed to do that." He sniffed, trying to lighten the mood.
"Sorry about that too."
He mutters your name and you look up, your chin on his chest. "I'm sorry for treating you that way. I feel like the worst human being on earth, and that's a fucking understatement." It was cute. Both of you guys are crying for the dumbest miscommunication ever. "I know." You say.
"Like, I somehow managed to fuck up so bad Chris had to be the one to comfort you tonight." He shook his head.
"Yeah. That was a crazy low you did for it to reach that point."
He shushes you. "I don't need reminders."
"You brought it up." You shrug. He nods, "Yeah. I guess so." He finally cracks a smile, and you follow the curves of his lips, unknowingly grinning with him.
"I really fucking missed you today." He admits, kissing your nose, your eyes fluttering shut before opening them back up immediately. "You have no idea, Matt. Promise to forget today?"
"Promise."
"Now let's go to your room, you need to get these splinters out of my feet."
Matt x pregnant!reader who is craving katchup. Just how he would react to her wanting to eat it with everything and his way to deal with it, considering he hates it. (Not sure if this makes a full story, so if you want to just talk about it, itâs okay).
I LOVE YOUR IDEA!!! dad!Matt always gets me đđ„ș
Y/N's senses came back with force on the Tuesday morning, a strange urge in her stomach bombarding her from every side of her body. She looked at the clock beside the bed with sleepy eyes and frowned when she saw that it was only six o'clock in the morning.
"Ketchup." She muttered to herself in a low tone. "I need ketchup."
Matt, her husband, was lying next to her, still sleeping peacefully, his right arm wrapped protectively around her 8-month belly. The woman hesitated for a moment, looking at him with a mixture of guilt and curiosity. Should she wake him up to satisfy her bizarre ketchup craving? She shook her head, deciding to let him rest.
Carefully sliding out of bed, Y/N put on her light pink robe - which was draped over Matt's gaming chair - and headed downstairs towards the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air, having been made automatically by the coffee machine on the counter, but all she could think about was the taste of ketchup.
Y/N opened the fridge and found a bottle hidden behind some jars of jelly. With a satisfied smile, she leaned over and picked it up, clutching it as if it were the most precious item in the world, before opening one of the drawers on the counter next to the stove and taking out a spoon, opening the lid of the industrialized product and starting to devour it pure.
While she was there, deep in her strange morning desire, Matt appeared in the kitchen doorway, his hands rubbing his sleepy eyes and his clothes rumpled, showing that he had just gotten up. He looked at her with a confused expression, his blue eyes running over her figure leaning against the gray refrigerator.
"What the hell are you doing, sweetheart?" He asked, yawning loudly.
Y/N shrugged, embarrassed.
"I don't know. I just... need ketchup, I guess."
Matt raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued, but deciding not to say anything else, if there was anything he had learned during those 8 months, it was that you shouldn't question a pregnant woman. Instead, he simply approached her and wrapped his arms around her body, kissing the top of her head lovingly.
"I'll make breakfast." He said softly. "With... ketchup, if you want." His voice came out reluctantly, remnants of his feeling of disgust for the product dripping into his sentence.
Y/N smiled brightly, feeling grateful for her husband's silent support, nodding her head quickly. Together, they prepared a full breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast, her dishes all covered generously with ketchup.
Throughout the day, Y/N continued to have strange cravings for ketchup. She put it on her salad, her turkey sandwich, and even her pizza. Matt looked at his wife with a mixture of disgust and horror, but he didn't say a word of protest, swallowing hard as the nausea rose in his throat each time the smell of the sauce rose to his nostrils.
Late in the afternoon, as Y/N devoured a burger covered in ketchup, she finally felt satisfied. The woman looked at Matt with a tired smile, feeling grateful for his unwavering support.
"Thanks for letting me eat all that ketchup today." She joked shyly, wiping her mouth with a napkin.
"It's not my favorite, but if it makes you happy, then I'm happy too." Matt shrugged, smiling back at her, glancing from the corner of his eye at the red bottle still on the table.
Y/N leaned her body slightly towards him, making a small pout, expecting a kiss, but all she received was Matt's palm pressing against her lips gently.
"Go brush your teeth first, honey. Everything has a limit."
a/n: ok so this is a small blurb inspired by the videos of Matt golfing with the group the other nightâŠ. letâs just say girl was giggling and kicking her feet at how good he looked. Also Iâm rusty at writing so be nice to me :) enjoy! (Also this is not edited-)
warnings; none⊠all fluff!
âJesus Christ, Matt!â Colby said after Matt had hit the ball with his⊠unique style of swinging. Matt looked over at the group with a smile as he started to take his white jacket off, walking back over to the group as he set it down next to you. His green and yellow shirt now in view as he adjusted it to his body.
âItâs either really good or really bad!â Matt said as he gripped the club in his right hand as he placed it under the censor, allowing it to give him a new ball.
âDo it again, Matt.â Larry said as he brought his phone out and started to film the boy. Matt took his rings off before he looked at you, pointing his finger at you.
âIf this is a good hit, you give me a kiss-â
âBet!â You said as you leant back in your seat, watching the him as he placed the club on the left side of the ball. He sighed before swinging the club around in a circle, hitting the ball perfectly as it soared through the air, loosing sight of it quickly from how fair it went.
You got up with a sigh as you went up to him, it now being your turn, plus you had an award to give him. âI will be honest, I was praying on your downfall-â
âOh shut up.â He said as he placed his hand on your cheek, placing his lips on yours. The kiss was quick and gentle, nothing more than a few seconds. But those few seconds got some cheers from the friends you were with.
âOh Jesus, theyâre kissing again Nick-â
âThey always do that⊠youâre surprised?â Nick asked Chris as you laughed at the brothers as Matt flipped them off.
Taking the club from Matt, you stood on the green mat as a ball came out of the dispenser and you placed it in the middle. You had gone golfing with Matt and his family before while visiting in Boston, and had gone to top golf with them on occasion. But you never really knew how to hit the ball.
You didnât want to ask for help, not wanting to take to long of a time so the others could have their own fun, so you just stood there, placing your hands in various different ways.
Matt was laughing at something Sam had said when he turned back towards you, placing his rings back on, as he saw you messing with the club. A small smile made its way to his face as he walked over to you, placing his hands on your wrist gently, making you jolt back in surprise.
âItâs just me, sorry for scaring you. Can I help?â Matt whispered to you as he moved closer so he had better access to your hands. You nodded in agreement as you allowed your hands and wrist to relax, letting him move them himself. âPut this one here, mhm, and that one rightâŠ. here.â he said as he placed your hands on the club that seemed fit and comfortable to swing with.
âNow just bend your legs and youâre good!â He said as he patted your waist and stepped away.
âPromise not to laugh if I miss?â You asked as you tightened your grip on the club and looked at him. You didnât care about the others and if they laughed, you only cared about impressing your boyfriend even if you both knew that you kinda suck at golf.
âPromise baby.â Matt said as he crossed his arms and nodded at you, giving you the go ahead you didnât know you needed. You took a deep breathe before swinging the club back and following through as a the sound of the club hitting the ball rang through the air.
âOoo that was beautiful!â You heard Chris yell as you faced towards the open field, full of golf balls waiting to be picked up, as you watched your ball soar through the air. It wasnât far, but it was far enough for you to throw your hands up and bounce on your feet as you made your way over to Matt.
âDid you see that?!â You exclaimed as Matt held a wide smile on his face, nodding as he opened his arms for you to fall into.
âI did, baby! That was so good!â Matt giggled as you wrapped your arms around his waist, wrapping his own around your neck, kissing the top of your head as he whispered âthatâs my girl.â
âYou have another shot, girl!â Larry said as you pointed at the screen, showing you that your name was still present on it.
âWaitâŠ. I have to do that again?!â You asked, eyes wide as Matt laughed a bit as he nodded and everyone else giggled at your words. âI hope you guys arenât wishing for the again, because that shit would take a miracle-â
âOr maybe just a little motivation from MattâŠâ Jake interrupted as he looked away from you as to direct the attention away from him.
âDonât you dare give him that idea-â
âI quite like that! Here let me show you again babe..â
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