Summary: Part three to my This is How You Lose the Time War inspired fic. Anakin and the reader run into eachother once again while undercover at a senate ball.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.7k
Author's Note: Part 3! As always any and all feedback is appreciate I'm so glad you guys are liking it cause I had fun writing it.
@chelseyyouraverageluigi @biddycums @juicytoot2006 all either asked to be tagged or asked if there were other parts I know y'all asked for this forever ago so if you don't want to be tagged anymore no hurt feelings just let me know!
Part 1 Part 2
A part of you will always love undercover work.
Sure a bigger part of you acknowledged that the shoes were incredibly uncomfortable, that you felt very awkward trying to blend in with people you had nothing in common with, that if you werenât careful you could feel yourself drowning within the deep end you had been so carelessly dropped and asked not just to float but to swim.
But still a part of you liked for once feeling like a person rather than a jedi.
The shoes were tall but lent you a sort of grace you usually only pulled out in lightsaber training. The dress was tight and showed off more skin than you ever had before but it twirled so beautifully as you spun. The makeup felt more like a mask than a paint upon your skin, but it made your features pop flawlessly. The senatorial ball was a night of silver linings and so it naturally only made sense that the very personification of the term would choose this night to show up as well.
He had seen you before you had seen him, that was no surprise, to see him here at all however? Now that was an incredible one.
You felt him approach rather than saw him, the man slipping soundlessly up next to you on the edge of the room, hands tucked casually into his pockets as he surveyed the room before him looking more than anything like he belonged, as if he didnât risk everything by simply being here.
âWhat are you doing here?â You hissed at him trying to keep your voice down, keeping your eyes firmly planted in front of you.
âAre you worried about meâ he cut you off, his tone light enough you could hear the smirk within it.
âHalf the senate is in this room if anyone recognizes you-â You had to fight to keep your voice level, to pull back the bite in it so as not to cause a scene. You could feel Anakin revel in your restraint.
âThey wonâtâ
Your head was whipping around to glare at him before your brain had even caught up with the action, your entire body freezing as soon as you met his eyes, registering for the first time that he had probably been looking at you this entire time âHow do you knowâ
He shrugged at that with a smug smile, gesturing with a nod back out to the floor âhalf the senate is in this room. Everyone is too busy with them to pay attention to anyone here whoâs notâ
Begrudgingly you had to admit he had a point, you didnât necessarily belong here either and yet no one had spared you more than a fleeting glace. âThat doesnât explain why you are hereâ
âWell what kind of a sith lord would I be if I let a pretty girl stand in a corner all by herselfâ He hummed softly, eyes finally pulling away from your figure and scanning the room before him.
âNot here on this side of the room, here at the ball in the first placeâ you didnât even try to hide the exasperation in your tone as you rolled your eyes âComing to the very place were the heart of the republic is gathered is incredibly-â
You didnât even get a chance to finish your sentence before he was grabbing you by the hand and pulling you forward. Your feet stumbled beneath you as you fought to catch up, all but crashing into his chest as he came to a sudden stop on the edge of the dance floor.
Anakin spared you little more than a wolfish grin before he placed the hand of yours he held on his shoulder and brought his to your waist, pulling you swiftly into a slow turn as the music began.
Your mind was still reeling by all that had occurred within the last few seconds, unable to properly catch up, your hand limp in his and eyes wide as you felt him pull you closer into his chest, every synapse firing in your brain unable to comprehend anything but just how close he was to you, how good he smelled, how well his hand fit into yours, how nicely the soft smile on his face suited him.
âTsk tsk padawan I thought we talked about not making a sceneâ
The soft tease snapped you back into the present moment, your back straightening unconsciously as you properly righted yourself, grip tightening on his slightly as you allowed yourself more fully to follow his lead, willing your conscious mind to focus on anything but the man before you.
âYou know you are actually supposed to ask a girl to dance before you pull her to the floor by her handâ you reprimanded lightly, trying desperately to find familiar footing.
âHow am I supposed to do that when she wonât even tell me her name?â He countered with a raised brow, a silent dare thrown at your feet.
âNice try but I donât believe her name needs to come up anywhere amongst the words will, you, dance, with and meâ
A soft chuckle ruminated within his chest at your jest, your lips ticking up in the small victory. âRegardless my way is more fun, leaves less of a chance for her to say noâ
âSome may call that kidnappingâ
âI prefer to think of it as taking what Iâm owedâ The responses came back sharp and quick and you found yourself sincerely hoping Anakin enjoyed your verbal spar as much as you did.
âWhat youâre owed?â You countered with a raised brow.
âI believe you and I had a deal sweetheartâ at this point you were fairly sure Anakin Skywalker's default expression was a smug grin âand if you peak over my left shoulder I believe youâll see I held up my end of the bargainâ
You really didnât need to look to know it was true but did it anyways, head tilting slightly to get a better look behind him just in time to watch the same senator from last week drift by as the two of you spun. âVery well Iâm a woman of my wordâ You said the words on a dramatic sigh, fighting down the laugh in your throat as Anakin facetiously rolled his eyes in response âY/Nâ
âY/Nâ He repeated back to you, a soft smile on his face as he did so, your pace around the room falling slightly slower as he tested the name out. âYou look beautiful tonight Y/Nâ and there was no tease in his tone. No hint of a second agenda. Anakin Skywalker the man rather than the sith lord vulnerably on display for a second before you.
You tried not to draw too much attention to the rare moment of honesty, as if the mood were a wild animal capable of being spooked, as if pretending the compliment didnât hit you directly in your chest would get rid of the pink hue in your cheeks âThanks Aniâ
It was brief, the momentary pause in his movements at your thanks, the way his entire being seemed to suffer a quick system reboot at hearing that name fall from your lips, just enough to make you notice the small hiccup but not enough to warrant you drawing attention to it.
âSo was the dancing part of your dark side training?â
Teasing was back in familiar territory, Anakin taking the dive back into safer waters in stride âIt would explain your seeming lack of anything even resembling rhythmâ
You rolled your eyes good naturedly at the jab âyouâre hardly one to talk did Sidious forget to teach you how to lead in your instructionâ
An honest laugh startled you as it burst from his mouth before a comfortable warmth settled in your chest at the sound of it. Anakinâs hold on you tightened in response, pulling you closer to him until there was little left to do but rest your head on his shoulder and sway softly.
âLet me give my poor toes a breakâ he whispered from above you.
And for once you didnât feel the need to respond to that, to try and get the last word, instead you let the jest hang in the air between you, letting yourself for just a second truly enjoy the moment.
You swear you heard a sigh from Anakin above you as it did but refused to allow yourself to focus on it, letting your movements come to a natural pause, just starting to lift your head off his chest when you felt him lean down and press his nose into your hair as if to give you a kiss on the crown of your head before he whispered âyour target is at the buffet table right now, left side dark green robesâ
And you couldnât help but frown slightly at the shift in the air, at the reminder that you were here for a job, at the finality of your shared moment. âI see himâ
âYouâve got about an hour and a half to interrogate him, after that heâs mineâ there was no real malice his tone, no air of negotiation, they were little more than simple facts.
Finally you leaned back from his shoulder to look up at him, raising a single brow in response, âwhy are you telling me this?â
He chuckled softly in response, eyes darting rabidly back and forth between your own before dipping for a moment to your lips and back up, his tongue peaking out to wet his lips briefly before he spoke âconsider it a giftâ
Still you eyed him skeptically, narrowing your eyes slightly as you pushed âwasnât aware the sith were in the habit of giving things away for freeâ
âWouldnât call it a habitâ he mused softly with a shrug, spinning the two of you in a lazy circle, âwouldnât call it free either, at the end of the night I still get my defector and in the meantime a dance with the most beautiful girl in the roomâ he sent you a cheeky wink âsounds like a win-win to meâ
You scoffed and tried to ignore the way your heart stuttered in your chest, refusing to acknowledge to wolfish grin that grew on his lips as he watched your face redden.
âYou jedi are always so easy to rile upâ he chuckled, pulling you effortlessly back into his chest just as the song ended, holding you there for a second longer than the music before whispering into your ear âtik tock sweetheart your window is closingâ
Summary: Part two to my This is How You Lose the Time War inspired fic. Anakin and the readers second meeting told from Anakin's point of view!
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1k
Author's Note: I'm so sorry to leave you guys hanging!! I lost all of what I had written and had completely lost motivation to do it again but I will do my best to finish this story I promise. Here's part two I really hope you enjoy it and as always love and appreciate all of your guys' feedback
@chelseyyouraverageluigi @biddycums @juicytoot2006 all either asked to be tagged or asked if there were other parts I know y'all asked for this forever ago so if you don't want to be tagged anymore no hurt feelings just let me know!
Part 1
There was no way you were going to be able to sneak up on him, but damn it if it wasnât adorable to watch you try.
Anakin had clocked you the minute he entered the square, the action of scanning for any Jedi presence in the area second nature to him at this point, but heâd be lying if he said he wasnât at least a little humored to see you there on the opposite side of the square as your master, eyes actively scanning the crowd. Little more than a security guard; is this really how far the order has fallen?
Point was Anakin clocking your presence was no surprise, a given even. You somehow identifying Anakin in this crowd? Now that was something else.
Heâd admit he was a little impressed by that, he blended well with the people around him, he kept his head down, he hid his force signature, all of which should have made him nearly unidentifiable to anyone in the square today, and somehow you had found him.
That was interesting.
He could feel you as you slipped into the crowd to follow him, flowing effortlessly around the groups of people even in this packed square, following far enough behind him to not be noticed but not too far that he could lose you easily.
You were good, he had to give you that.
Anakin, though, was of course better.
And a part of him wondered if you knew that as well as you quit your chase and finally came up to stand beside him. No surprise attack, no attempt to catch him off guard and subdue him, instead you just stood next to him letting your presence be known. Somehow you knew he had already sensed about you.
Oh this was going to be fun.
âFancy seeing you hereâ
Somehow still you managed to surprise him, your tone vastly different from the surprised, stuttering girl he had met in the Cantina just a week ago. âAre you following me padawan?â
You chuckled at that and Anakin had to fight the shock from his face at the sound of it. Where was the girl who had been ready to kill him in the middle of a cantina to protect her master? He wasnât sure he mourned the change âcontrary to what you may believe I have better things to do than spend my time wondering what you are up toâ
He bit back the smile at threatened to grow on his face. Maker when was the last time he had been able to have fun like this bantering with someone. âSo you havenât spent hours in the archive trying to figure out who I am then?â
You smirked up at him in response âI was promised a name when I saw you next why waste my time trying to figure it out myself?â
You had a point there, but Anakin was more than happy to lose this verbal squabble this once, more content to just be playing the game with you than anything else âAnakin. Anakin Skywalkerâ
You nodded at that self-satisfactorily, turning your gaze to the stage before the two of you remaining silent, a proud glimmer in your eye. You even won like a Jedi, too humble to revel in it properly.
âYou know this is the part where the other person usually introduces themselvesâ
Your smirk grew even wider at that even as you ignored the comment entirely, Anakin wondered what he would have to do to push it into a full grin âfrom what Iâve heard about you itâs uncharacteristically humble of you to assume I would need the archives to know who you areâ
Anakin couldnât have bit back his wolfish grin at that if he had tried, his face turning for the first time to gaze at you properly as he leaned in slightly âOh so youâve heard of meâ
You more or less ignored his change in posture, head still facing forward with your hands clasped casually in front of you as you gazed at him from the corner of your eye âletâs just say your reputation precedes youâ
With a small chuckle he relented if only slightly, returning back to his original upright position as he let a brief silence settle over the two of you. A part of him wondered still why you stayed if you werenât going to say anything, another part wondered just how far he could push it before you did. âContrary to what you may believe Iâm not here to do anythingâ
You raised a brow at this, cocking your head slightly at him âYou expect me to take that on face value?â
âCome on now when have I ever lied to you?â
âUsing one conversation as a basis for infallible trust is a bit of a stretch wouldnât you say?â
âOne conversation? You wound me I thought we shared a moment back thereâ
Maybe it shouldâve worried him how easily he fell into this role with you, maybe it shouldâve worried him how much he liked being in it. At the time he really couldnât bring himself to care. This was little more than a reconnaissance mission for him. Go listen to the speech, find out what you can, and get out, something he really hadnât been looking forward to but you show up and suddenly Anakin found himself hoping the senator never took to the stage.
His eyes caught the movement of the man himself from the edge of his gaze as he started to take to the stage, a hand coming up to wave to the crowd before him as they all cheered as if he were some sort of celebrity. He fought the urge to roll his eyes âYouâre really just going to take me on face value that Iâm not going to do anything?â He challenged, using it as an excuse to lean in closer and speak more directly to you âMaybe youâre not as good a padawan as I once thoughtâ
You shook your head at him with a smug grin âTell you what let the senator live and Iâll give you my name next time I see youâ
He laughed at that fully, the sound ruminating from his chest sending his face slightly to the sky, he canât remember the last time he had felt as light as that.
Summary: Very similar idea to This Is How You Lose The Time War. Enemies to lovers style series of meetings between sith Anakin and jedi reader as they start to realize that maybe the two sides arenât as different as they originally thought
Warnings: None in this part
Word Count: 1.7k
Authorâs Note: So the plan in the end is 7 parts with an epilogue for this series! Theyâll be fairly short parts (for me lol) around this length and 5 of those parts are already written so they should come out fairly soon! Promise Iâm doing me best to get this whole thing done but figured for now enjoy this first part and as always please let me know what you think!
You liked to think if you had known how your story would have to end you would do everything differently.
That if you couldâve foreseen the pain, the emptiness, the disillusionment you would suffer later, that maybe you wouldâve walked out of that cantina the minute Anakin Skywalker set his sights on you.
But honestly you werenât sure that was true.
They say pain and joy exist as two sides of the same coin, that one cannot exist without the other, the Jedi always did like a tale of cosmic balance. Given that, could you give up one side of that spectrum just to save yourself from having to experience the other?
You knew the answer to that question. Logically you knew the answer. Realistically you knew that you would suffer though it all again if it meant you got to have just half of the good things you did with him, a quarter even.
But maker was that a hard question to answer.
-
You had felt his presence all day.
Sure, at the time you didnât know it was him but there was this undeniable itch in the back of your head that persisted, a dark cloud looming over everything that had the hairs on the back of your neck sanding up straight, a foreboding warning sign that settled itself deep into your very bones.
But what if you were just being catastrophic? What if you just hadnât gotten enough sleep the night before? What if you were just needlessly worried?
So you kept your mouth shut about it. Afterall you didnât have a big role to play in todayâs mission anyway. Your master would meet with his informant in the corner booth of the cantina like he always did. You would order food and watch him from a booth on the opposite side of the room. In and out in half an hour, at worst your master learns nothing new and you get to fill up with a hot meal. This was easy, routine, normal.
That was until there was a man sliding into your side of the booth without a word.
He pressed his side up against yours without a second thought, the entire movement having an incredible fluidity to it you werenât ready for. In fact you were completely unprepared for any of it, that was the first thought that ruminated through your head in the moment.
He perched his elbows casually upon the table before you and gazed over at you, eyes flicking with subtle interest over each of your features wordlessly as you wondered how this man had been able to sneak up on you like that. Not a noise, a visual indicator, or a sign through the force to warn you of this new invasion of your personal space. You couldnât help but gape at him slightly, the shocked look on your face seeming to please him immensely as he smirked at you before directing his gaze across the room to where your master sat.
âNow what brings a Padawan like you into a cantina like thisâ
It finally hit you once he spoke. His force presence crashing over you like a wave and you could do little but try not to drown within it, the dark cloud that had been hanging over you seemingly personified into the man before you. How had you not been able to pinpoint it any earlier?
You were reaching for the saber at your hip without putting any real thought into it, the action occurring more as a knee jerk reaction than any sort of attack.
The man caught your wrist easily, fingers digging harshly into the skin as he held it in place in your hip, a soft âtskâ dropping condescendingly from his mouth âcome now we shouldnât cause a scene in as nice an establishment as thisâ
You tried your best to hold back your scowl, tried to put back on your blank Jedi mask, tried to exude any sort of levelheadedness you could muster. It wasnât very much.
âLet go of meâ it came out as more of a hiss than a command.
He smirked down amusedly at you but released your wrist with a small flourish âahh so she does speakâ
You opened your mouth to respond but he dismissed you with a flick of his fingers, turning his head back to your masterâs table âReally I should thank you, Iâve been trying to track down our mole for weeksâ
The gravity of the situation hit you squarely in your chest at that moment, a bolt of panic ramming your spine straight as your wide-eyed gaze snapped to your master, your muscles instinctively tensing to get up when a hand grabbed your chin suddenly again taking you enough by surprise it had your head spinning.
âJust eat your lunchâ his grip was much softer this time as he directed your gaze down to your forgotten meal before you, his touch thankfully this time not lasting any longer than necessary. âDonât worry I wonât do anything until you and your master are back on your shipâ
âyou really think Iâm just going to let you kill that man?â
His gaze snapped back to yours and there was that annoying smirk again, eyes alight with unrepressed amusement as he took the time to study you, eyes drifting unhurriedly to each of your features before he turned back to the room âI doâ
The answer was so matter of fact, so simple, you werenât entirely sure how to respond.
He gazed back at you once again as he felt the silence form between the two of you, giving you a dramatic eye roll in response as if the explanation were obvious âThatâs the deal. You donât try and stop me and as a thank you I let everyone in this cantina walk away with their lives, that master of yours includedâ
You narrowed your eyes back at him in response âthe deal? This isnât a negotiationâ
He chuckled at that, the sound weirdly soft coming from him as he shook his head âsweetheart everything is a negotiationâ
Accepting at least for the time being you couldnât do anything yet you took the chance to study him, gaze sweeping over each of his features just as he had done to you, eyes lingering uncomfortably at the black hilted saber he had attached to his hip. âYou really think you could take on a Jedi master, the mole, and everyone in this cantina by yourself?â
Again his chuckle filled the air as he dismissed your question flat out with a simple shake of his head, as if it were so ungrounded in reality it bordered on absurd. âI noticed you didnât include yourself in that list, going soft on me already?â
Again you were at a loss for words, little more than huff of air leaving you as you rolled your eyes and settled back into your booth, crossing your arms over your chest as you checked on your master from the corner of your eye.
That damned smirk was growing on his face again and you couldnât help but wonder if the man only had the one default facial expression.
âI donât think I can, I knowâ he answered your first question finally, relaxing his posture back in the seat like you had âJust for the recordâ
A silence fell over the two of you and you tried to ignore the realization that it wasnât a tense one, not even an awkward one, dare you even call it comfortable.
âTell you whatâ he broke it with a soft concession âyou hold up your end of the deal and next time I see you Iâll give you my name for you to look up in the jedi archives. Then you can see for yourself how bad of an idea trying to call my bluff here wouldâve beenâ
You raised an eyebrow in response, arms tightening over your chest almost defensively at that âand what makes you think Iâm going to see you againâ
At your question his usual smirk seemed to morph ever so slightly, into what you werenât sure, as his voice softened âcall it gut feelingâ
Both of your heads snapped together to the table across the room as you felt the shift in the air around you, watching as your Master stood and offered his hand to shake to the informant.
âAnd thereâs are cueâ the man beside you hummed as he watched your master say goodbye, hands bracing on the table before him as he got ready to slip out of the booth but not before whispering tauntingly back at you âremember our deal sweetheartâ
You scoffed at the comment as you pushed yourself up to stand as well, sliding out of the booth after him, not making it far before his hand was on your elbow, softly keeping you in place, physically drawing your gaze back to his.
âTill next time padawanâ finally he sent you on your way with a cheeky wink.
You tried not to dwell on it too much as you quickly made your way towards the exit to catch up with your master.
It felt almost wrong for things to fall back into their usual place so easily after that. To have your master waiting in the ally next to the front door like he always was, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened, as if your entire world hadnât just been turned on its head by one man in the last ten minutes.
âWho was that who sat with you in the boothâ You had been expecting this question from him as the two of you made the familiar trek back to your ship.
What you werenât expecting was how easily your answer came to you. It scared you how little you seemed to entertain any other answer. How naturally the words fell from your lips.
âJust someone who didnât know how to keep their hands to themselvesâ
hi! i reread all of your anakin one shots for like the tenth time last night and i just wanted to say youâre my favorite writer on here and i absolutely love your stories! i canât wait to see what you write in the future <3
Awww thank you so much!! That means the absolute world to me there's so many of them lol but I had an absolute blast writing each one of them so I'm incredibly honored you found some joy in them as well.
I've got several requests to go though that are years late at this point unfortunately but more recently I wrote a little series purely for myself that I'll be posting soon so I hope you enjoy that too!
Thank you so much for your kind words though! They absolutely make my week
Hey friend I hope all is well in your life â¤ď¸ as always I miss seeing you here but when you come back you know I am very happy. There is something I want to ask you, I need one of your wonderful stories I love so much Anakin x senator reader. Please đĽş
Hello!! I'm so sorry I'm so late to this I have a horrible habit of neglecting this blog when things get busy. I'm doing okay I missed you too!!
I always love a good senator reader x Anakin so I will see what I can do but writing has been a struggle for me lately, I've got one series on it's way and its fairly short but it took me so long to get out haha.
I appreciate you so much more than I can say though, seriously â¤ď¸
Hii!! Iâm the anon who asked if u had an ao3, and Iâm sooo glad I can have all your fics in one PDF thank u so much đ I can quickly pressed the download button so fast. youre genuinely one of my fav anakin fic writers in the entire galaxy (far far away). Your writing is so so gorgeous and complex, and it just feels soooo realâhow each person has their own depthâso much thought is put into every word and how itâs framed.
I just read your latest fic, Separated, and my god I SOBBED. It was SO good. I was listening to sad songs too, to get more into the mood, and it made me cry even harder. My heart just dropped out of my body when Reader and Anakin were saying their last words towards each other through the call: they were so emotionally close but so physically far from each other. How they were imagining a different life where everything was more softer and happier, that living handle their souls more gently, when in reality one was killing her, and the other was walking towards a path of destruction? AARAAGGH IM GOING CRAZY WITH YOUR WRITING (COMPLIMENT). I canât wait to see the second part and how you plan to execute the follow up.
Btw. Do you have any tips on how you can finish writing stories? You write so much and itâs all such high quality. How do you do it? I have so many ideas but I never actually commit to it. I have this idea where Reader is also on par with Anakinâs skills as a mechanic except she gets extreme motion sickness, which I think would be so funny considering sheâs good at building ships but not flying them.
(I really hope youâre okay with me posting this I know your first message was sent anonymously so I wasnât sure but if youâre not definitely just let me know and Iâll get rid of it) but Oh my god I sobbed reading this đ. Genuinely this is the biggest compliment Iâve ever received and it means so much to me Iâm positively overflowing right now and a little upset I cannot find the words to properly express how much this means to me. I already go back through some of the messages Ive received periodically as a little pick-me-up but I already know this one will be revisited weekly it just means so much to me the way youâve picked up on everything Iâve tried so hard to do well in my writing making the dialog and situations and characters feel real and complex and messy ugghhhhh I love you so much this means the world đŤśđť
As far as writing tips for finishing stories I have many cause itâs definitely something I struggle with all the time lol! Iâd say the biggest thing for me is to focus on just getting something down rather than finishing a certain work. At any one time I have four or five word documents open on my computer because Iâm regularly only writing a scene or a piece of dialog or literally just an idea. A lot of the time I get halfway through something and decide I hate it but keep it there anyways. What usually ends up happening though is I take ideas or scenes from all the different pieces and drop them into my âmain storyâ if I think they fit well so it all works out in the end but just writing (even if itâs not related even remotely to what you feel like you âshouldâ write) is ultimately whatâs important.
I also regularly skip around when Iâm writing. I find I like writing the big plot points or bits of dialogue the most so a lot of the time I write those first then fill in the gaps later. Finishing a story is a lot less daunting when you already have all of the big pieces in place and just need a few tiny bridges to bring everything together.
Lastly I would say again just get something down on the paper. Iâve written a lot of really bad stuff lol and sometimes I can feel it while Iâm writing it and thereâs a part of me that wants to just delete it and start over but having the ideas down on the page is always 100% better than having nothing and editing the crap out of what you already have is way easier than starting over from scratch.
Anyways thatâs probably way more than what you wanted lol but I really hope it helps! I think just remember this is supposed to be fun, if youâre getting frustration or exasperation out of it more than anything totally feel free to take a step back. Iâm known to go MIA for months at a time cause I have periods where I just am not feeling it and forcing myself through it does nothing for anyone.
Seriously though thank you thank you thank you Iâm so absolutely overjoyed that you like my writing enough to want to keep it in any form it means the absolute world to me! Also good luck with your potential fic! Tag me if/when you finish it! Iâve been wanting to do a mechanic reader fic forever but never gotten far enough into actually planning it out to start writing anything so Iâd love to see your take on it
Request: You could do a story where the reader and Anakin had something, but the order tried everything to separate them, and so Anakin wasn't there when she ended up dying. That will be the trigger for him to start doubting the order, and hating them, but it turns out that a reader from another universe, who is exactly the same as his, just shows up.
Warning: Angst! Almost character death, lots of swearing tbh my bad
Word Count: 7k
A/N: Changed the request just a bit hope thatâs okay but obsessed with the overall premise! Iâm thinking she needs a part 2 but let me know what yâall think!
There was something uniquely terrifying about a silent Anakin Skywalker.
Everyone knew the jedi had a temper, it wasnât something he was necessarily subtle about, there were few who had been at one time or another on the other end of it, you included.
But Anakinâs temper always exposed itself in the same way. Yelling, pacing, ranting. There were a number of times you had sat down before him waiting for him to get his lecture out of the way, letting him explode like a volcano before being able to actually have a constructive conversation with him.
You honestly couldnât think of the last time you had seen him as he was now. Quiet, still, contemplative.
Admittedly there was a part of you that wanted to poke the bear, to say something that you knew would make him explode, force him back into charted territory so you knew how to deal with the fallout.
âI just donât see the big dealâ
Still nothing, a harsh glare boring down on you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, jaw clenched so harshly you could see the muscle through his skin, not a word.
âYou do stuff like that all the timeâ
Just the steady rise and fall of his chest as he took measured, deep breaths.
You were returning home a hero, the entire hanger had cheered for you the moment you touched down, a hoard of people circling you with congratulatory hugs the second your foot touched solid ground, and still somehow Anakin had the power to make you feel like youâd failed.
This was supposed to be your moment and still somehow Anakin controlled the temperature in the room.
âI told you to turn backâ
Youâd stopped expecting him to speak, so thrown off by the sudden change you physically jumped at the sound of his voice, at how unexpectedly quiet it was.
âThat was the wrong call and you know itâ
Anakin took a deep breath at your response, his gaze cutting suddenly to the left, a moment passing as he collected himself before responding, that act alone almost making you faulter.
âIf it was the wrong call I wouldnât have made it. I told you to turn backâ
âAnd you arenât my reporting officerâ
âThis isnât a game Y/N!â
The sudden explosion from the man would have surprised you if you hadnât been unconsciously waiting for it, coiled like a spring waiting for Anakin to snap, waiting for him to yell, a weird weight lifting off your chest as you returned to normalcy.
âI know this isnât a game do you?â You shot back quickly, just as loudly âHe had coordinates, locations of nearly every battalion in the galaxy, information like that isnât simply a pawn you can choose to trade awayâ
âNeither are youâ
The response came too quickly, too quietly, too seriously for you to fully comprehend the words as he said them, your body physically recoiling at the sudden drop in temperature.
âI was fineâ
âYou were within firing rangeâ he argued back, his hands coming down to rest on his hips as he glared at you âan entire separatist fleet was on the other side of that moon waiting for him to drag whatever republic ships he could towards them so they could shoot it down and you fell right into that trapâ
âI didnât have a choiceâ
âYou had multipleâ he shut you down without ever raising his voice, a single glare enough to silence you âlistening to me for one of themâ
âAnd if you had been in my shoesâ you prompted âif you had been close enough to chase him would you have simply let him get away?â
âI would have-â you scoffed before he could get the words out, seeing exactly where he was going before he got there.
âdonât lie to me Anakin Skywalker you treat risking your life as if it were a paying jobâ
You watched his jaw tick at your response, his words dying on his lips before he changed routs âI told you to turn backâ
You let a humorless laugh bubble out of you, a frustrated hand raking across your face as you shook your head âI canât believe youâre being so blatantly hypocritical right nowâ
âItâs differentâ his words came out so quick he seemed almost surprised to hear them himself.
âHow?â you demanded more than asked, silently daring him to give you a legitimate answer you werenât sure he could supply.
âI canât-â he cut himself off before he could finish, a huff escaping before he took a deep breath and continued âI need you to listen to me. When I tell you what to do I need you to listen to meâ
âEven if-â
âyesâ he cut you off before you could get your question off âwhatever context, whatever quantifiers I donât care. Out there I need you to listen to meâ
Again his tone was throwing you for a loop. Gone was the anger, the frustration, the ire. Now he seemed to be almost begging, pleading with you to listen to him, to agree, to promise something like today wouldnât happen again.
But you had made the right call. That was what was sticking with you. You know what you did was risky, hell you could get behind even calling it a little reckless, but objectively it was the right call. You were talking about locations of every troop of clones in the republic in the hands of the separatistâs how could he not see that this was worth anything, that taking down this spy was worth everything.
âAni what-â
âThere you two areâ a new voice interrupted you, the sudden appearance of Obi-wan pulling you back to the present moment, reminding you that you and Anakin were in the jedi temple, that you had just come back from a mission, that you still had duties to uphold.
âMaster Kenobiâ you quickly greeted the man with a small bow, watching the man you had practically grown up under break out into a proud grin as he clapped you on the shoulder.
âThat was a great shot Y/Nâ he praised you shaking you softly âyou saved the Republic today I hope you know thatâ
And though you could feel your chest warm with the praise you couldnât help but feel a small twinge because of it, not missing Anakinâs small scoff at Obi-wanâs words.
Anakin was your best friend, a man you grew up beside as a padawan, a man you had been practice dueling since you could hold a saber, and you had just pulled off a major victory for the Republic. Was it really too much to ask that your friend take just a second to be proud of you.
âThank you masterâ you responded warmly nonetheless nodding at him âbelieve me when I say it wasnât easyâ
The older man laughed warmly at your words, dropping his hand from your shoulder as he did âthat I donât doubt but believe me when I say we are all glad your maneuver paid off, what you pulled was riskyâ
You shot a guilty glance at Anakin only to see the man casting his gaze at the floor, arms snaked back around his chest physically distancing himself from the two of you in this moment.
âAnyways what I came here to say is that the council is looking for the two of youâ Obi-wan continued on, either choosing to ignore or missing the tension hanging in the air between you and Anakin âyou need to debrief before youâre free for the evening.â
âOf course masterâ you answered for the two of you âwe will be right thereâ
Obi-wan gave you an appreciative nod before taking his leave, casting a questioning glance at his former padawan before exiting the room, casting you and Anakin in a thick silence you were tentative to break.
âAni-â you tried but he cut you off.
âLook weâll talk laterâ he muttered over his shoulder, already making his way out of the room âwe shouldnât keep them waitingâ
-
You could never feel comfortable in the jedi council room, something you were sure was done by design as you and Anakin were forced into the middle of the room, made the literal center of attention.
Even as you knew you were here to receive praise for your actions you couldnât help but shrink beneath Mace Winduâs gaze.
â-you exemplified what it means to be a jedi knight perfectly today jedi Y/L/Nâ Master Windu droned on, his voice thankfully lacking the usual edge it had when addressing you with Anakin in the room âwe thank you for your actions todayâ
âI was just doing my jobâ you responded humbly as you were expected to with a respectful nod âbut I am glad to have been of helpâ
âOf great help you wereâ Master Kloon chimed in pulling your attention to him as he spoke âthe republic owes you a great debt todayâ
You smiled politely at Mater Kloon, gaze again being drawn across the room as Master Fisto picked up where Kloon left off, a part of you wondering if they did this on purpose to disorient you âwe do however have one question regarding this situation. Jedi Skywalker you tried to order Jedi Y/L/N backâ
âI didâ Anakinâs response was quick with an edge to his voice that had you mentally sighing, you werenât eager to witness Anakin go up against the council today. âThe spyâs ship had reached firing range of the rest of the battalion anyone who followed him was likely to be shot before they could reachâ
âCalled her back before she reached firing range you didâ Master Yoda spoke this time, eyes planted solely on Anakin as he spoke
âShe was far back from the spyâs ship, by the time she reached him they would both be within firing rangeâ Anakin countered through gritted teeth, you watched him ball his fists at his sides from the corner of your eye.
âThat ultimately however proved not to be the case as she was able to take down the spy without any harm coming to her own fighterâ Mace Windu spoke carefully, clearly organizing a path down which he planned to steer this conversation.
A tense silence passed for a moment, a staring contest passing between the Jedi master and the general before Anakin spoke âa miscalculation on my part thenâ
âItâs a good thing she ignored your miscalculation thenâ Master Windu offered dryly âwe do however have access to the flight com logs. Would you like to explain jedi Skywalker why you ordered jedi Y/L/N not once but five times to turn backâ
âHer pursuing as she did was a risk I wasnât willing to make at the time masterâ
âEven when aware of the information that ship containedâ Master Windu prompted with a raised brow âevery troop location of the Republics army. Are you saying you werenât wiling to risk the life of one jedi for the fate of this war Jedi Skywalker?â
âI donât trade in lives Masterâ Anakin challenged back quickly.
âOne life versus the lives of billions across the galaxy the math should be easy Jediâ
âweâre here to be Jedi knights not martyrsâ
âAnd it is your duty as jedi knights to do whatever it takes to protect the republic as Jedi Y/L/N didâ
âAnd if she had failed? If the inevitable had happened and she was fired upon the second she came within distance? What good would a dead Jedi knight have done anyoneâ Anakin was seething at this point, the familiar white hot anger you had expected to be directed at you earlier finally making its appearance.
âWe can stop pretending this is about just any Jedi Knightâ Mace Winduâs words had Anakin physically recoiling, effectively throwing him off course having the two of you furrowing your brows âthere is a reason the jedi code forbids attachmentsâ
âMaster we havenât formed an attachmentâ you took this as your chance to chime in, keeping your voice light trying to dispel any lingering tension in the air.
Master Winduâs eyes took a second too long to break from Anakinâs to meet yours, a knowing silence permeating the air as if he meant to let your comment hang in it âwhat happened today, any possibility of letting that spy go, cannot happen againâ
You furrowed your brow at his vague response, eyes snapping back to master Yoda as he spoke up.
ânot a punishment this isâ he chimed in softly, looking directly at you as he did so âremember that you mustâ
Your eyes snapped back to Master Windu âmaster what are you saying?â
Mace Winduâs eyes bounced back and forth between you and Anakin for a moment before landing on the latter, another small silence stretching before he spoke âJedi Skywalker and Y/L/N going forward are forbidden from going on missions togetherâ
A stunned silence fell over you and Anakin, your eyes casting immediately to him only to see his disbelieving gaze locked on Mace Windu âMaster you canât-â gone was all edge in Anakinâs tone, an almost pleading one taking its place as he tried to talk.
âThe councilâs decision on this is finalâ Master Windu cut Anakin off with a single raised hand.
âbut-â
âYou are dismissed jediâ The doors to the council room opened behind you before Anakin could get out any more than a word. Master Windu leaving no room for either of you to plead your case.
Numbly you left the room with Anakin in tow, your brain still struggling to wrap itself around what had just occurred as you entered the hallway and stopped against the wall, Anakin not missing a beat as he started to pace back and forth in front of you.
âYou have to tell me where youâre going next Iâll see if I can at least be closeâ he was already talking a mile a minute, almost mumbling as if talking to himself rather than you.
âI canât even remember the last mission I did without youâ you mused quietly.
âUnder no circumstances can you go alone either take Obi-wan or Iâll give you Rexâ
âI canât believe the council thinks we need to be separatedâ
âAnd call me every day even if itâs just to check inâ
âAni you know I can handle myself rightâ Your sudden direct address of him brought Anakinâs attention back to you, his pacing halting as his gaze snapped up to meet yours.
âAfter today?â He laughed bitterly in response.
âI came back todayâ you countered defensively, at this point beyond tired of this same argument ânot a scratch on my ship I am alive and wellâ
âAnd you almost werenâtâ finally Anakin exploded on you, vein popping in his neck as he yelled, a frustrated hand tangling itself in his hair as his pacing picked up once again âyou got lucky. Thatâs it. What you did was dangerous, it was stupid, it was risky, and it only paid off because you got lucky and I feel like Iâm going insane because how can no one see that? You are only here right now because you got lucky and there is no guarantee on that a second timeâ
âOr Iâm a good pilotâ you shot back angrily âIâm a good pilot and a good jedi who trusted her instincts and accomplished the goal. Is it really that hard for you to trust in my ability?â
Anakin physically deflated at your words, the full meaning of his own hitting him for the first time as he crumpled slightly âY/N I didnât mean-â
âNo thatâs just what you saidâ you cut him off âI get it you think I canât handle myself and shouldnât be trusted. Iâm not sure why youâd want to be sent out on missions with me anywaysâ
âY/N pleaseâ Anakin begged softly but you had had enough, cutting him off with a shake of your head and a sigh.
âNo Ani Iâm done with whatever is happening right now. Itâs been a long day and Iâm just-â You cut yourself off with a deep sigh, taking a second to take a deep breath before turning on your heel leaving Anakin behind as you made your way back to your room, calling softly over your shoulder âIâm doneâ
-
You knew who was behind your door before he had even knocked. Could feel him lurking behind it. Afterall who else would be at your room this late at night.
This wasnât the first time this had happened, Anakin just showing up at your room. Sometimes it was to apologize, sometimes it was because he had a nightmare, sometimes it was because he could sense yours. It didnât matter really because he knew no matter what he was always welcome here, you made sure of that.
It was why he wasnât surprised when you opened the door before he could officially make himself known. The two of you looking silently at one another before Anakin wordlessly engulfed you in a hug.
You went willingly, melting into him as he wrapped his arms around you, not even bothering to exit the doorway as the two of you stood there and took a second to appreciate the feeling of being supported by the other person.
âYou scared me todayâ the words were mumbled into your hair.
âIt was a risk I had to takeâ you responded softly into his chest, his arms tightening around you at your words.
âI canât-â he cut himself off, readjusting slightly to tuck your head under his chin before he spoke again âI donât like it when you do thatâ
âAnd you think I like it when you doâ you responded with a laugh, pulling back slightly to look up at him, Anakin reluctantly letting his grasp of you go as you did so.
âI know I just-â he sighed âIâm sorry Y/Nâ
âI know Aniâ
Finally a comfortable silence fell over the two of you, a moment passing where neither of you said a thing simply enjoying the moment in each others presence before Anakin broke it âI mean it when I say I trust you just please, promise me youâll be carefulâ
You smiled softly up at your friend, extending a pinky out to him âI promise Aniâ
He smiled and hooked his pinky with yours, neither of you able in this moment to recognizing your lie for what it was.
-
He almost hadnât answered.
That was the thought that ruminated in his head for weeks after.
You had called, it wasnât your normal time to talk, and Anakin had almost ignored it, almost told himself he would call you back later.
Thank the maker he was never good at ignoring you.
Your face came up immediately on his hollow display, picture posed strategically to only show your shoulders and above. And even though a smile graced your lips the second he picked up Anakin could still feel it the moment he saw you. Like a punch to the gut, it suddenly hit him that something was wrong. Something was catastrophically wrong. How had he not sensed it earlier?
âWhere are you?â
You had just chuckled weakly in response and any other time Anakin lived for that sound but not now, right now he needed you to answer âthereâs nothing getting past you is there Aniâ
âYou were sent to the outer rim rightâ Anakin steam rolled ahead, grabbing his cloak already intending to hijack the next available ship. He didnât care if Mace Windu himself was scheduled to be on it.
âThat was two missions agoâ
Your words halted him in place, Anakin freezing on the spot as he glared back at you, âY/Nâ
âAnakinâ Maker how could you tease him like this now? You were always stubborn and he loved that about you but right now was not the time to play with his emotions, not with all this at stake.
âIâll go ask Obi-wanâ he was talking more to himself than you at this point, mind whirling with every possible path forward.
He heard you sigh from the communicator but didnât pay it too much mind, you could yell at him for it later, he would give anything to hear you yell at him later.
âItâs a direct shot to my abdomenâ You sucked in a deep breath, gaze dropping to your torso with a grimace, looking at something Anakin couldnât see âlosing blood like this thereâs no way you make it in timeâ
âYou donât know thatâ he was arguing back before he could properly process your words, his brain refusing to even allow for that possibility.
âI do Aniâ you shot him a sad smile, bleeding out, in who knows where and still you were comforting him.
âNo thereâs got to be someone nearby, another jedi, a local, someone who can helpâ He was shaking his head, brain desperately clinging to any solution it could.
âI didnât call you so you could try and solve my problemsâ
âSo why did you call me then?â He knew he wasnât mad at you, he knew you would know that to, but still he cringed at the way it slipped out, at the way you shoulders slumped slightly at his words.
âDo I ever need a reason to talk to you?â
And he realized then this was you asking for the only help he could give. He was planets away with no ability to reach you and you were asking not to be alone at the end. And even though it killed him he could never say no to you.
âOf course you donât Y/Nâ
You smiled at that. A real smile, no undercurrent of pain or pity. Anakin found himself trying desperately to commit to the sight to memory.
âRemember when the council separated us because they thought we had formed an attachment?â You asked softly, head resting back against the wall behind you, your entire body rising and falling with each labored breath.
âRight now itâs hard to forgetâ he bit down the resentment, it wasnât what you deserved.
Still you chuckled at him, wincing slightly as you did so âI think right now I have to admit they were onto somethingâ
âI thought that was obvious when I tried to put the entire republic army at risk so that you would be safeâ
A teasing roll of your eyes, a fond chuckle âshut up stupid Iâm trying to have a moment hereâ
âIâm sorry please go ahead with your momentâ a part of him resented how easy the banter came now, how easy it always came with you, it wasnât fair.
âYouâre my person Anakinâ you practically whispered the words, Anakinâs heart swelling painfully in his chest at them âAt the end of the day I will always choose you and for the first time Iâm not going to condemn myself for thinking itâ
âYou picked a hell of a time for that revelation sweetheartâ the pet name came naturally, he nearly choked on it as it fell from his lips.
You laughed in response, shifting positions with a grunt âMaster Kloon did always tell me I needed to work on my timingâ
Anakin chimed in before a silence could fully settle over the two of you, âThough Iâm sure itâs obvious I will always choose you too Y/Nâ he took a small amount of pride in the soft smile that grew on your lips at his words.
âSo what do you say after the war we leave the order?â You propositioned with a cheesy grin âYou and me Skywalkerâ
It hurt how easily the answer came to him âwhere would we go?â
âIâve always liked Nabooâ How quickly your answer came made him wonder if like him this wasnât the first time you had considered this exact scenario.
âI could get a job working on speedersâ He proposed with a sad smile.
âI think Iâd work at a cantinaâ you mused back âalways thought it would be fun to get to meet people from all over the galaxyâ
âIt would be a good lifeâ he could feel the truth of those words in his very bones.
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, both lost in thoughts of what if, before you broke it âThank you Aniâ
âDonât thank meâ he protested weakly ânot for thisâ
âThen for everything elseâ
Another short silence, a quiet plea slipping unbidden from Anakin âplease donâtâ he knew where you were going next.
âI have toâ you answered softly, solemnly âI think itâs time to say goodbyeâ
âYou donât have to hang upâ he protested ânot yetâ
âI donât want you to see me like thatâ And again he was never one to refuse you anything, a final request he couldnât say no to. âI love you Aniâ
Maker how could hearing those words somehow hurt worse than not hearing them ever did.
âI love you Y/Nâ
A single tear slipped down your cheek and then you were gone. The newfound silence of the room suffocating him as the emptiness in his chest leached out to fill the space in the room around him.
-
The republic has fallen.
The jedi are no more.
The empire reigns in its place.
Anakin Skywalker is dead.
There was a lot you were told upon waking up from your medically induced coma that was hard to believe. A lot of news that was broken to you that was difficult to swallow. The fact that your entire life fell apart in the mere two weeks you were in a bacta tank was something you werenât sure you were ever going to be able to come to terms with.
Being with the rebellion helped, to know that despite everything there was still a group of people out there who were willing to put everything on the line for what was right. To a certain extent it felt like being home. It helped you learn to come to terms with those four impossible facts.
So now how were you supposed to deal with learning that one of those facts was actually a lie.
You had seen the trepidation on their faces when you walked into the room, the way the entire groups focus was on you the second you stepped in, it almost felt like being back before the council, you wouldâve laughed if they hadnât seemed so somber.
Now you understand why.
As soon as the words left Mon Mothmaâs mouth you felt the ground buckle beneath your feet, felt the world around you start to drown out, felt your legs threaten to give out from beneath you.
You wouldâve given anything to hear those words just weeks ago, wouldâve wept at the thought of being where you were now, but to hear them so shortly after you had tried to heal the wound was nothing but another devastating blow.
âYou told me he was deadâ
The group shared nervous looks and your every doubt about the rebellion came rushing to the surface. They were no different than the council at itâs worst, wiling to do anything to separate the two of you, willing to lie to make sure you stayed under their thumb, willing to keep things from you because they believed they knew better. Why did it always feel like you were working for the wrong side?
âWe believed he wasâ
âBullshitâ the word slipped from your lips before your gaze could even meet the speakerâs, anger flaring from your chest at the words âa fact like that, as large of that, there had to be rumors, you had to have guessedâ
âWe didnât want to get your hopes upâ
A bitter laugh rose to the surface, hands coming to your hair in exasperation âI was told the very republic I gave my life for had fallen, that the very group I was fighting against are now in control, and everyone I had ever known dead at the very hands of the people I had sworn to lead and you didnât think I couldâve used a little hope?â
âWe thought-â
âThat wasnât your decision to makeâ you countered before they could finish, eyes daring the group to say something âmaker how can you not see that it was this very hubris that led to the fall of the jedi? Of the republic? Just because you think you know better-â
âHe goes by Darth Vaderâ a new voice jumped in, your eyes snapping to the holo-projection of Bail Organa, the senatorâs eyes giving nothing away but pity.
âno-â the protest fizzled on your lips, barely enough breath behind it to properly get it out.
âThe source is solidâ it was Mon Mothma again, eyes practically begging you to listen. âAnakin Skywalker is Darth Vaderâ
And for a second your brain couldnât comprehend it, wouldnât comprehend it. How were you supposed to reconcile these two opposite people as one? âNo that doesnât make any senseâ
âIâm sorry Y/Nâ
âNoâ you protested loudly, as if yelling could get it to not be true, could get them to admit they were lying, this this was all some sick joke âSomeone is wrong, someone is lying to you-â
âThe information is goodâ another voice interrupted but you were too caught up in your spiraling thoughts to even identify who it was.
âNo the Anakin Skywalker I knew wouldnât-â
âThe Anakin Skywalker you knew died the day that you didâ Senator Organa cut through all the noise in your head, his voice loud but not unkind as he drew your attention, the entire world seeming to fall deathly silent after those words.
âWhat does that meanâ your voice was quiet, broken, you didnât have it in you to care.
âIt was an open secretâ he explained softly, the senator façade breaking just slightly âthe day you were reported to have died Anakin fought with the Jedi council, fought with Obi-wan, no one could get him to calm down, to think rationally. Eventually he made his way to Palpatineâs office, he hasnât been seen sinceâ
âWe all knew of his distaste for the council before thisâ Mon Mothma chimed in âhe blamed them for your death, drove him right into the arms of the current emperorâ
Your mind had slowed, had calmed noticeably but still you found yourself dancing around the issue rather than actually dealing with it, your thoughts instead deciding suddenly to stick to something else.
âWhy are you telling me this now?â You watched them all carefully, noticing the nervous glances they sent towards one another rather than answer âI wasnât lying when I said you were just like the former council, preferring to sit on information until it could properly serve your purpose so whatâs the purpose this time?â
Again Mon Mothma took the lead, hesitantly speaking up âheâs formed a group with the sole purpose of hunting down and killing any remaining jedi. Itâs quite frankly only a matter of time before he finds youâ
You furrowed your brow at this âso youâre warning me? Telling me I need to leave the base?â you shook your head slightly, not liking how either of those answers fit before it finally clicked âyou want me to stop himâ
âWe want you to talk to himâ Senator Organa corrected you âif thereâs anyone who can get through to that man itâs youâ
You eyed each of them skeptically, knowing as you were sure they did as well, that this question only truly had one answer âIâve been told twice in this conversation alone that Anakin Skwalker is dead.â You took a deep breath, bracing yourself on the back of a chair âfor all of our sakes I hope thatâs not trueâ
-
Realistically you knew it was true the minute your ship touched down. Even if you werenât conscious of it at the time you could feel that all too familiar force signature coming from the planet, seeping into your very bones.
To know it logically was an entirely different story.
You stayed hidden, following from alleyways and rooftops, you couldnât make out the man beneath the costume but everything about him was just wrong. His gait was wrong, the way he held himself was wrong, the red saber at his hip was wrong, there was no possible way the man beneath the mask was that familiar jedi. And yetâŚ
You couldnât face him. You knew that. Even if it was Anakin under there you werenât ready to find out, werenât sure which answer would be more devastating to you.
So even though it meant failure you put your hood on and slunk away, leaving behind Darth Vader whoever he was, ready to tell the rebellion they would have to come up with another way.
You got little more than a flutter of a cape in warning before he descended upon you.
The black figure whipped around the corner faster than your brain could comprehend, having time to do little more than simply freeze in place before you were lifted off the ground by a force you were all too familiar with, invisible fingers tightening around your neck as you were lifted.
âYouâve been following-â you got little of the figures voice through the mask before he suddenly cut himself off, the pressure on your neck easing just enough to allow you to gasp for breath, the world stilling around you as you looked out from under your hood at what was supposedly Anakin Skywalker.
The world stood at a standstill for a moment, you hovering inches above the ground, toes desperately seeking purchase, Darth Vader silently staring at you, hand held before him almost trembling. You were working yourself up to croaking out a question when his other hand raised suddenly and with a flick of his wrist your hood went flying back.
The second the light hit your eyes the force on your neck disappeared and you crumbled to the ground below in a heap.
Precious few seconds were given for you to gulp down breath before you were hauled back up by your neck again, this time an actual hand secured firmly around it as you were all but thrown against the wall, your head smacking against the brick painfully.
âwho are youâ even through the voice modulation you could hear the way he seethed beneath the helmet, ire barely contained by the black material.
âY/Nâ you croaked weakly, clawing half-heartedly at the hand around your neck that held you in place.
His fingers tightened in response before he pulled you back and slammed your head once again against the wall, a soft groan escaping you at the impact ânow is not the time for games now who are youâ
âIâm telling the truthâ you practically begged, unable to feel any shame in it as the edges of your vision started to black from lack of air.
âThatâs impossible-â you couldnât really bring yourself to listen to the rest of the sentence, the only thing running through your mind was a grim acceptance that this was how you would die. Supposedly at the hands of the man you had once loved.
âAni pleaseâ
And you hadnât meant for the plea to escape you, barely even registered that the nickname passed through your lips. All you could focus on was the fact that after they came out into the open you had finally been released.
Again you crashed to the ground, hands splayed out to catch yourself before you could faceplant, lungs burning as you greedily gulped down air.
âWhy would you-â The words died in his throat and a strange, bitter part of you wanted to laugh.
Once you finally had better control of your breathing you sat back on your heels and looked up at the man clad in black before you, squinting slightly at the sun over his shoulder. âItâs true thenâ
He didnât respond, simply looked down at you.
âtake off your helmetâ
âwho do you think you are-â again the urge to laugh surfaced, the way he reached for anger so readily was so similar to the man you once knew, how could you not have seen it earlier.
âTake off the helmetâ He physically recoiled at the command. You softened your voice in response, practically pleading with him "I need to see your face"
Again the man before you went rigid, a tense few seconds passing in silence before he hesitantly reached up and pulled off the helmet.
The man standing before you looked somehow older than you remembered but unmistakably him, and every thought about your mission flew out the window the second his eyes made contact with your own. Your brain rejected the similarities outright, because despite being told Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker were one in the same you still couldnât handle this physical evidence linking the two.
You reacted without thinking, taking a single step forward and planting your hands on his chest, roughly shoving him backwards, Anakin allowing himself to be moved without a second thought âMaker Ani what the fuck were you thinkingâ
His helmet slipped from his grasp absentmindedly, his hand coming up to clutch at his chest where your hands had just been as he just stared at you, eyes swirling with too many emotions for you to pin down at the moment.
âPalpetine are you serious?â You demanded more than asked, hurling the implication at him with reckless abandon âI always told you I didnât trust him and still you-â
âYou werenât thereâ he cut you off and his voice was so soft, so broken it startled you into silence, your body physically recoiling back a step as he spoke âYou werenât there, and he was all I hadâ
âYou had Obi-wan, you had Rex, you had people who cared about you Aniâ
âThey werenât youâ his answer back came steadfast and resolutely, leaving no room for argument, followed by a much quieter, more broken statement âthey took you from meâ
âNo one but that weapons dealer took me from you.â
âThey didâ neither of you felt the need to define the âtheyâ to which you both referred âIf they hadnât kept me from going with you I couldâve-â
âYou donât know thatâ you cut him off, this argument feeling much to familiar âEven if you had been there we donât know-â
âIf I had been there then you wouldnât have-â and he didnât need to finish his sentence, the natural end to it evidence that this was an argument he has already had with himself too many times before.
âI didnâtâ you begged him to listen to you, âIâm okay. Ani Iâm right hereâ
Your words seemed to shock him out of his own personal bubble, his eyes darting frantically around him before he seized you by the wrist suddenly, surprising you, as he started to pull you further down the alley âyou need to go Y/Nâ
âWhatâ the question left you on an exhale, his sudden change in attitude giving you whiplash as he tried to pull you behind him.
âYou canât be here you need to-â he whispered quickly, frantically, almost as if the words werenât for you.
You pulled back on your arm forcing him to stop âAni Iâm not leaving youâ
He furrowed his brow at your declaration, a hand on your shoulder trying to nudge you forward still âY/N do you know what the empire will do to you if-â
âI donât careâ you declared back, halting his movements once again, using his grip on your arm to pull his attention back down to you âI already lost you once, donât make me do it againâ
His eyes bounced desperately back and forth between yours as he set his jaw, you could practically see a million different arguments running through his head.
âHaltâ a new voice broke through the tense silence, Anakinâs gaze flickering to its source above your head. You barely had time to gaze over your shoulder at the trio of clone troopers that had approached, guns drawn, before Anakin had sent the lead one flying rapidly into the wall with a flick of his wrist.
You tried desperately to hide your flinch at the noise of his armer hitting the building.
The other two froze on the spot, blasters still pointed at you, but Anakin ignored them both, hand still held aloft as he stared down at you debating his next steps for a precious few moments before he spoke.
You could see him physically morph as he addressed the clone troopers, could see him become that other man, that Darth, in the way he squared his shoulders and straightened his back, the way his voice dropped an octave, the way his grip on your wrist grew almost painful as his gaze bore down into yours
âthis one is force sensitive, she comes with meâ
Hiii!! I just came across your blog and I am absolutely in love!! Your writing is so full of passion, details, and pulls so much emotions by the situations you put the characters in. AAAH got me kicking my legs in bed as I read your stories; I feel so so happy even when you write abt the angsty bits because you execute it so well!! I was wondering if you post on AO3 because I love saving my favorite authors works as a PDF so I can always have itâtimeless and forever.
Omggggg stop Iâm gonna cry đđđ. I actually really like writing angst because I get to pour so much of my own emotion into it itâs almost cathartic lol. Itâs like when you leave an argument and think of all the good things you shouldâve said except with writing I get to go back and perfect it!
As far as AO3 I love that so much! I havenât posted anything on there before but Iâve thought about it recently so imma work on getting them posted now! I donât have an account yet so Iâm on the waitlist for that so fingers crossed in a week they should be up but Iâll make a post when theyâre on there to let you know!
Thank you so so much tho youâre the absolute sweetest and have made my day Iâm so glad you like the blog!! â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Request(s): Hello love! Could I request something with Anakin x reader where heâs out on a mission and gets hurt maybe knocked unconscious for a bit and when he wakes up heâs like âsheâs gonna kill me for getting hurtâ and when he gets back gets an earful but also lots of cuddles <3
Was recently watching Hunger Games Catching Fire idk if youâve seen it but thereâs this one scene where Peeta gets hurt then Katniss like freaks out and Finnick saves him and realizes shes in love with him and I was imaging that scenario with Anakin so maybe you could write something like Anakin getting hurt on a mission and oc freaking out thinking heâs gonna die and Obi-Wan or Rex can just tell đ
Warning: Angst! A lot of descriptions of chest compressions. It has a super cute ending though I promise!
Word Count: 4k
A/N: I went ahead and combined two that were super similar so I hope thatâs okay. I actually really like how this one turned out so please enjoy! As always let me know what you think love you guys!!
Obi-wan was on his knees.
That was the only thought that echoed in your head.
Obi-wan Kenobi, the general, the Jedi master, the great negotiator, member of the jedi council, was on his knees. Why was he on his knees?
Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, every noise fading into the background as you tried to move forward, the very air seeming to fight against you as you did so.
Gloved hands clasped around your arms, holding you in place, a modulated voice you recognized registering in the back of your head but you didnât pay attention to any of the words said.
Why was Obi-wan on his knees?
You tried still to push forward but those hands held you back, halted your every movement, white and blue armor entering your field of vision, trying to block your view.
âwhats-â you couldnât even get your whole question out, werenât really sure how to finish it.
You clawed at the armor before you, tried to use it to pull yourself forward, to Obi-wan, you had to get to Obi-wan.
âKid you donât want to go over thereâ Finally the voice broke through the haze, because that was Rexâs voice, his nickname for you. But why was Rex here?
âNo I need to-â you werenât really sure what, you needed to get to Obi-wan, that was all you knew, that everything in your screamed that you had to get to Obi-wan.
âLet the general workâ Rexâs voice was smooth, clam.
But Rex was supposed to be with Anakin, Rex was always with Anakin, Rex had Anakinâs back, Rex kept Anakin safe. So why was he here without him?
That was the first time you really processed the scene before you, the fact that there was a person over there with Obi-wan, a person Obi-wan was kneeling over, a person beneath Obi-wans interlaced hands, a person wearing all too familiar boots with their toes pointed to the sky.
Your gaze cut to Rex, as if you could get confirmation from the manâs helmet, as if he could tell you anything but what you already knew, as if he could fix everything.
âThe general has him Y/Nâ
And somehow hearing him say your name made it worse. Because to him you werenât Y/N you were general, jedi, kid, anything but the gravity that came with your name.
You like to think youâd decided then that youâd feel guilty about it later, but truly the action came without any forethought. Your hand came up with a mind of its own, your energy focusing just enough to give Rex a push through the force, not enough to hurt him but enough to get him out of your way, because right now you needed to get to Obi-wan.
You ran without checking on Rex, ran calling out Obi-wanâs name not missing how the general never halted his movements, and slid down across from him onto your knees not noticing the way loose gravel and glass cut into them as you did so.
Obi-wan was saying something to you, you acknowledged that, but your focus was planted on nothing but Anakinâs unconscious body beneath his hands.
He looked peaceful, too peaceful for the way his body moved beneath Obi-wanâs rough compressions.
âno no no noâ it took you too long to realize it was you repeating those words, that your body was rocking back and forth softly, your hands balled up painfully in your hair, trying to do anything to ground yourself, to make yourself wake up, to give your brain anything it could latch to that would make sense.
Because it couldnât be Anakin lying there without a heartbeat, it just couldnât.
âY/Nâ a shout of your name snapped you out of your stupor, your gaze snapping up to the Jedi master before you.
His eyes never once strayed from his hands on Anakinâs chest.
For the first time you took in the state of Obi-wan, noted the worry he tried to force down that was slipping through his eyes, the way his lips were parted with heavy breaths, the sweat that clung to his brow.
Youâve known Obi-wan for years, the man had been through more than most people experience in their lifetimes. He was a general in the republicâs army, a man regularly sent to the front lines to lead, the person you called to the table when you wanted to negotiate. Obi-wan Kenobi did not sweat.
âObiâ his name left your lips in a whisper, as a prayer, pleadingly.
The Jediâs eyes cut up to meet yours briefly, his compressions never once halting âI knowâ
The manâs voice wasnât scared, wasnât broken, but it wasnât calm either, it was just empty, hollow, the voice of a man who had cut himself off from everything, focusing on nothing but the task at hand.
It almost scared you more than anything else.
âNo no he canât he-â you begged, who you were begging to you werenât sure at this point âhe promised he would be okay, he promised he would be careful, Obi-wan he canâtâ
The words fell from your lips your mind barely attaching meaning to them as they passed.
âRexâ Obi-wan called without a second thought, paying you no mind as his attention shifted to the newly arrived reinforcements, a horde of clone troopers descending on the two of them completely blocking your view as Rex carefully pulled you back.
And you knew they were there to help, knew that Anakin should go with them, that if anyone could bring him back it was them.
But in this moment all you knew was you were being separated from him and you werenât sure if you were ever going to see him again.
Desperately you screamed Anakinâs name over the crowd, watching as his body was hoisted by a few troopers and carried towards the nearest starship, ardently fighting against Rexâs hold as he kept you in place.
âNo no Rex please I need to go with himâ you begged the clone captain âplease I canât leave him alone he canât be aloneâ
The captain did his best to calm you, softly shushing you, holding you in place until your movements started slow, your legs giving out from beneath you as the ramp to the starship that took Anakin ascended, effectively sealing him from you.
Rex followed you down to the ground, arms that had caged you into him softening to offer comfort instead as you watched the ship takeoff âRex he canât die heâs my-â and you couldnât bring yourself to finish the sentence, chocking on the word friend. Cause that wasnât quite right, that word wasnât enough, and it seemed that only when faced with Anakinâs flatlined heart that you could admit that to yourself.
Fate was a cruel thing.
Rexâs hand made its way to your shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze as he rocked you back and forth softly âI know Y/N, I knowâ
-
The first feeling Anakin noted after waking was not pain but rather stiffness.
The bright lights assaulting his unacclimated eyes he could get over easily, but the way his own body fought against him from the moment he opened his eyes, the way it seemed to protest just his breathing, that got to him.
âWell hello thereâ
Three simple words and Anakin was calm, the tension in his body melting into the mattress beneath him as he took the time to take a deep breath and try and relax.
Obi-wan was here, and if Obi-wan was here then everything was okay, because no matter what shit he had gotten himself into, and over the years there had certainly been a good amount of it, as long as Obi-wan was by his side he knew he could get out of it.
âWhere am I?â
His voice sounded weak to his own ears, his very vocal chords grating as he tried to speak, only then realizing how thirsty he was.
âmedical unitâ Obi-wan answered, coming to his bedside to help Anakin sit up, passing him a cup of water once he was sure he could handle it âI must say weâve had a lot of close calls in our days my friend, letâs never get that close againâ
Anakin just hummed in response, greedily gulping down water.
âWhat do you remember?â
Finishing the glass Anakin handed the empty vessel back to his master, taking a moment to rack his mind, trying to sort through a jumbled mess of memory. âwe were on Corelliaâ he answered hesitantly âthe separatists were attacking we were there with Y/N I think, she went off with her clone army andâŚâ the words died on his tongue, the emptiness of the room hitting him for the first time. His wide panicked gaze met his masters and Obi-wan read his expression easily.
âsheâs fine, she had to brief the councilâ
Anakin sagged back in relief, his breath taking a second to right itself once again âokay-okay good. Sheâs okay. She separated off and told me to be safe then I-â
âdid the exact oppositeâ Obi-wan supplied with a half smirk, relishing the way that same panicked look grew once again on Anakinâs face in response.
âshitâ Anakin swore under his breath, bringing the heels of his palms up to rub at his eyes.
âsheâs been by your side since she got to Coruscantâ Obi-wan replied, crossing his arms over his chest âhad to threaten expelling her from the order just to get her to go give her debriefâ
Anakin could only groan in response, his posture slumping further as he did so âscale of 1 to 10 how likely is she to kill me?â
Obi-wan chuckled in response âoh my dear padawan we surpassed double digits long agoâ
âit was that bad huh?â
Obi-wan was silent for a moment, hand coming up to rake through his beard in response, a tired sigh escaping him before he spoke again âthe first time she saw you since the moment you separated off was when I was giving you chest compressions-â
âWell Iâm here now thatâs got to be worth something right?â he tried, earning only a single brow raise in response.
Another heavy silence fell over the pair before Obi-wan broke it âAfter seeing her reaction to finding you like that I feel it is my duty as your master to warn you against forming attachmentsâ Anakin nearly rolled his eyes at the same tired old speech, Obi-wan cutting in to continue speaking before he got the chance to do so âhowever, as a friend I will say you ever put that girl through something like that again and breaking the Jedi code will be the least of your worriesâ
Anakin nearly laughed in response, the smile dying on his lips once he brought his gaze up to meet Obi-wans and seeing the seriousness that those eyes held. All words clogging in his throat as he was only able to force up a measly âyes masterâ that at least seemed to placate him for the moment.
Obi-wanâs posture straightened suddenly, eyes cast towards the closed door as he sensed a presence Anakin had felt coming minutes ago. âI believe that is my que to leaveâ
Giving Anakin a small bow Obi-wan made his way towards the door, pausing when Anakin suddenly called out âMasterâŚthank youâ
Obi-wan smiled warmly in response âItâs good to see you breathing again Anakin. Do your best to keep it that wayâ
Opening the door Obi-wan paused just in the doorframe, conversing briefly with someone he knew to be you before disappearing.
The entryway to Anakinâs surprise remained empty, empty for long enough to make him worry.
Despite everything though your form crept through the doorway, seeming almost scared to see him.
And though Obi-wan had told him you were okay Anakin couldnât relax fully until he finally was able to lay eyes on you.
You, however, stayed as tense as ever just inside the door, eyes wide and panicked, gaze pinning him to the spot.
Anakin was almost afraid to move beneath your gaze, afraid any wrong move would break the spell and have you yelling at him.
Cause maker he knew he deserved it but he just woke up, he was alive, and he thought seeing a frown on your face after everything would kill him all over again.
The stare down lasted a tense few seconds as you scanned each other, Anakin noting the bandages wrapped around your palms, the badly bandaged cut on your brow. Maker how many times has he told you to see a medical droid after an assignment instead of trying to do it yourself, some bacta and it would be gone in minutes and he wouldnât have to stare at the physical reminder of his own failure to protect you, of your own vulnerability.
The two of you seemed to snap out of it at the same moment, finishing your physical examination of one another at the same moment, because as Anakin took a deep breath and started to push himself up you were bound across the room in a near sprint.
Your arms were around his neck within the next second, your body planted in his lap, your chest pushed flush against his. And every part of him hurt with it but he didnât care for a second because you were in his arms and the only thought running through his mind was that he needed you closer, that no matter how hard he pulled you into him it wasnât enough because he was alive and you were here and nothing else beyond that mattered.
Much to his displeasure you were pulling back much too quickly and he tried to fight it, tried to keep you against him, tried to seek comfort in your arms as long as possible. But then your palms were cupping his cheeks and all thoughts in his head ceased, your wide eyes were looking directly into his and Anakin could do nothing but freeze, your nose brushed against his and Anakin forgot how to breathe. Then your lips were against his and Anakin suddenly wasnât entirely sure he hadnât actually died back there.
But Anakin had thought about this too many times to hesitate now, he kissed you back just as fiercely, just as hungrily, one hand coming to the back of your head, fingers threading themselves into your hair at the base of your neck as he pulled you into him, his other hand finding your waist and pulling, seeking out any sort of physical reminder that you were here, really here.
But there you went pulling back again, ending the kiss much too quickly for his liking. He tried to follow you back, tried to pull your lips back to his but you were too stubborn, why did you always have to be this stubborn?
Before his mind could even process what had happened, before he could even mourn to loss of your body against his, your hand was raised and Anakin felt a sharp sting on his cheek, a pain he was only 60% sure was new at this point.
He forced his eyes open only to be met with the anger in your eyes he had been expecting since you had walked into the room.
You were pulling back again, getting up from the bed to your feet, fingertips trailing down the sheets that separated his body from yours absentmindedly but leaving a trail of sparks in their wake for Anakin. He tried to reach for them but you were too quick pulling them back, coming up to stand alongside his bed.
He could acknowledge you were talking now, or rather ranting fit it better, but he was too busy trying to reach you, trying to pull you back down on top of him, too busy cursing his every ache and pain that kept him from standing up and following you.
âcannot believe you thought it was a good idea to go off on your own what were you thinking? No scratch that I knew what you were thinking and it was nothing-â
Your words vaguely registered in the back of his mind as you paced back and forth, scolding him. âyouâre right, Iâm sorry, come hereâ the words rushed out of his mouth as he tried to reach out to you again.
But you never even acknowledged that he had spoke, continuing your rant without a hiccup âyou cannot keep doing this to me, to Obi-wan, to Rex, throwing yourself into every dangerous situation without any regard for your life-â
And all Anakin could focus on were your lips as you spoke. Was it just him or did they seem slightly pinker than before? Slightly swollen. A soft sheen on them from saliva, his saliva, maker how he wanted to add to it. He hummed non-committally to whatever you had just said.
You hadnât even looked at him as you ranted, your eyes planted on your feet as you paced rapidly before his bed âyou promised me youâd be careful and this is how you thought you would go about upholding that promise? Because I have news for you if you really thought that was a good plan-â
He hadnât even gotten the chance to really enjoy himself, enjoy the feeling of your lips against his, the taste of you on his tongue. With every second that passed with you still all the way across the room he became less and less convinced that the kiss had really happened. At this point he didnât really care if he had imagined the whole thing he was just desperate to recreate it.
His bed shook slightly as your hands came to rest on the foot of it and your eyes for the first time this entire rant connected with his and Anakinâs focus finally zeroed in, yours seeming to do the same, the both of you acknowledging in that moment you hadnât listened to a single word the other had said in the past five minutes.
Another tense silence passed, each being unsure of what to say to the other, before a tear falling down your cheek broke it. âAni I found you while Obi-wan was doing chest compressions, I only found you after you had diedâ
And for the first time the weight of his own stupid actions seemed to hit him. Because he could tell himself that he was doing it for you, or for Obi-wan, but truly Anakin hadnât ever thought about what would happen after he made the decision to do something stupid. And here he was dealing with those consequences.
You were scared, you were scared and sad and Anakin had done that to you and he wasnât sure he could forgive himself for that.
âY/N pleaseâ he begged softly, one arm extended out to you.
And finally you listened to him, too slowly making your way back to his bedside, and Anakin wasted no time in wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling your head into his chest.
You went willingly, your arms wrapping around his torso, burying yourself into him with a relieved sigh as Anakin buried his nose in your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
âIâm so sorry Y/Nâ he whispered into your hair and for a second you didnât respond, simply stayed in his arms, listened to the sound of his heart beat, reminded yourself he was really here, before replying, your voice muffled slightly by his shirt.
âYou better be Skywalkerâ
And despite everything Anakin couldnât help but chuckle at your threat, arms tightening slightly around you as he fondly kissed the top of your head once more.
âIf I promised to be more careful would you kiss me again?â
It came out in a teasing tone but you froze at the question, your entire body tensing beneath his touch before slowly pulling back to better look at him, your eyes wide in panic âmaker I kissed youâ
âyou didâ he agreed eagerly, hand coming up to cup your cheek.
You brushed aside his hand without a thought, your panicked state leaving Anakin much too amused âI didnât even ask you or warn you or tell you how I feel I just kissed you, maker Aniâ
âAnd Iâm asking you to do it againâ he chuckled, hand wrapping around your wrist and giving it a small tug trying to pull you back into him.
âI couldâve ruined everythingâ you continued to rant, eyes unfocused as you spoke âWeâve known each other since we were nine and I just kissed you like that wasnât going to change everything what was I thinkingâ
âIâm thinking if you donât kiss me now my heart may stopâŚagainâ
Your response was immediate, one fist shooting out and connecting solidly to his shoulder causing the jedi to groan softly âAni thatâs not funnyâ
Nonetheless Anakin took advantage of the way you leaned forward slightly to hook one hand around the back of your neck and crash your lips sloppily into his, a happy groan escaping him once you had finally connected.
Yet again you were pulling back but Anakin learned from his mistakes, never letting you get far. âI want it on record this does not mean I condone you injuring yourselfâ
âYou got it sweetheartâ Anakin mumbled back without much thought, pulling you back into him to let your lips connect once again, relishing the few seconds you eagerly kissed him back before you pulled back once again.
âAnd you canât just say whatever you think I want to hear just so Iâll kiss youâ
âmhm sure whatever you want babyâ he responded with a hum before pulling you in again, an exasperated groan escaping him when you once again pulled back too soon.
âI mean it you have to promise me Aniâ
Anakinâs other hand came up to cup your check, gaze desperately seeking out yours as he held your head mere inches from his own âI promise you I will not put myself unnecessarily into danger going forwardâ and without giving you a chance to respond he was kissing you again, committing every second to memory as he threaded his fingers through your hair.
Your hands planted on his chest as you pulled back again, barely getting out your âand one more-â before Anakin was responding with a simple ânoâ pulling you back into him, the Jediâs desperation making you giggle against his lips as you happily kissed him back.
Hiii!! I just came across your blog and I am absolutely in love!! Your writing is so full of passion, details, and pulls so much emotions by the situations you put the characters in. AAAH got me kicking my legs in bed as I read your stories; I feel so so happy even when you write abt the angsty bits because you execute it so well!! I was wondering if you post on AO3 because I love saving my favorite authors works as a PDF so I can always have itâtimeless and forever.
Omggggg stop Iâm gonna cry đđđ. I actually really like writing angst because I get to pour so much of my own emotion into it itâs almost cathartic lol. Itâs like when you leave an argument and think of all the good things you shouldâve said except with writing I get to go back and perfect it!
As far as AO3 I love that so much! I havenât posted anything on there before but Iâve thought about it recently so imma work on getting them posted now! I donât have an account yet so Iâm on the waitlist for that so fingers crossed in a week they should be up but Iâll make a post when theyâre on there to let you know!
Thank you so so much tho youâre the absolute sweetest and have made my day Iâm so glad you like the blog!! â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Request: I was wondering if you could make a enemies to lover where Anakin is madly in love with reader but wont admit it since he likes to mock and annoy her but the reader doesnt, like there are but they arent as strong as Anakins. So as time passes she starts to catch feelings for him and ends in fluff but its a little angsty too yk
Warnings: Swearing, Anakin being a bit of dick
Word Count: 7.5k (sorry not sorry we love a slow burn enemies/academic rivals to lovers)
A/N: Check the blog for a little update if you want but I really hope this was worth the wait! As always please please let me know what you think!
Your eyes bounced fervently back and forth between your masterâs and Anakinâs, not even bothering to hide the shock you were sure was etched into your expression. âYou canât be seriousâ
âDo I look like Iâm jokingâ came your masterâs quick reply, his tone alone enough to scold you for your loss in decorum, your posture snapping up reflexively as you schooled your face back to a more natural expression, unable to keep yourself from getting defensive.
âI just mean-â the hurried deflection rolled off your tongue before you could stop it, your masterâs unamused glare enough to keep the words from fully coming out. Taking a deep breath, you tried to better control yourself before you continued. âheâs a padawan, same seniority as me how could he train me?â
âHeâs also standing right hereâ Anakinâs gruff voice proved he was just as thrilled about this assignment as you, though you barely spared him a glance, keeping your gaze locked onto your masterâs, a silent plea for him to take it back.
âPadawan Skywalker is the best padawan with a saber by leagues I think he could be of great help to youâ And you knew that tone your master used here, one he reserved to tell you he was done discussing the matter.
Dejectedly you finally let your gaze slip over to Anakinâs, offering him a tight-lipped smile âI appreciate your help Padawan Skywalkerâ you nearly choked on the words, having to force them out of your throat.
Anakin in response said nothing, his arms crossed defensively over his chest as he let his eyes rake your figure quickly, letting your words hang uncomfortably in the air until your master finally broke the silence.
âTruly padawan Skywalker we appreciate everything you do for usâ He offered a small nod, clapping Anakin on the back.
âOf course master Koonâ and you didnât miss the way he offered your master a smile that didnât quite reach his eyes, nor the way he was happy to return a comment to your masterâs thanks but not your own. The two of you were already off to a great start to what was bound to be a very short apprenticeship.
With a small nod back in return Master Koon took his leave, leaving you and Anakin alone in the hallway, you looking up at the padawan expectantly, him pointedly avoiding your gaze as much as possible.
âLookâ you drew his attention back to you with a sigh âneither of us want to be doing this so how about we just forget this and go our separate ways?â
He raised an eyebrow up at you in response, clearly unimpressed by your proposed solution âI told Master Koon I would helpâ
âAnd how noble of you to do soâ you replied with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest to match his posture âbut since you clearly want to spend as much time with me as I do you this felt mutually beneficialâ
âIâve seen you fightâ he responded back with a small shake of his head âyou very obviously do need the helpâ
âBelieve me youâve made it abundantly clear what you think of my fighting skills in trainingâ you replied with a bitter laugh.
âWhen it takes your opponent less than a minute to get your saber out of your hand itâs hard to keep my comments to myselfâ
âIt does not-â and you cut yourself off before you could properly blow up, Anakin always having this weird affect on you, pushing you over the edge with little more than a tap. You werenât letting him get to you that easily this time. With a deep breath you tried to collect yourself âFine, when do you want to start?â
Anakin paused for a moment, doing nothing but survey you, probably curious as to why you hadnât started biting his head off yet, but nonetheless continued âafter dinner tonight, now come on we have battle strategies with master Kenobiâ
âYou were asked to help me train with my lightsaber, doesnât mean you have to walk me to class from now onâ you huffed but followed him down the hallway nonetheless.
âThen start jogging and weâll call this training tooâ he answered with a shrug.
-
You sat back trying to listen to Obi-wanâs lecture, finding yourself for the first time ever in this class unable to pay attention to the lecture, instead your focused was solely on the person next to you.
Anakin has spent the last several years making his feelings towards you abundantly clear. If the chiding remarks, the mocking comments, the downright insults were anything to go by then you could easily say that he didnât seem to like you that much. And you had to say by this point the feeling was mutual.
Heâd spent all of his time in this class in particular sitting on the other side of the room, pointedly the chair that was just about as far away from you as possible, something you were sure the rest of the padawanâs had picked up on by this point. And that would explain why now that he not only showed up to class with you in tow but took a seat next to your usual one the entire rooms attention seemed to subtly shift in your direction.
Not that the roomâs attention wasnât usually in his direction if you were being honest. Anakin was the jedi councilâs golden boy, the prophetic child that would bring balance to the force, as well as being a hell of a fighter with his light saber, and if you were being totally objective he wasnât exactly hard on the eyes. All of this meant he had a natural sort of charisma that seemed to draw the unconscious attentive weight of a room in his direction, a weight that now sat squarely on your shoulders as well.
This new attention combined with Anakinâs incessant knee bouncing meant your focus was on just about anything but the lecture at hand.
âYou know you donât need to babysit me in every other part of jedi trainingâ you whispered over to him, Anakinâs knee bouncing harmlessly against yours as he leaned in to listen and you fought the urge to pull your own back. Afterall this was your desk you werenât about to contort yourself so he could be more comfortable.
âIs this why you need my help?â he responded with an annoying smirk, leaning in even more as he whispered âbecause you struggle to pay attention in class?â
You narrowed your eyes back at him in response âIâll have you know-â
âPadawan Y/L/N, Skywalkerâ Obi-wanâs unamused voice broke through your whisper sharply, freezing you in place, your face now uncomfortably close to Anakinâs as every eye turned towards the two of you âis there something you would like to share with the classâ
âno Masterâ Anakin answered quickly, righting himself just as you did.
âPerhaps some insight on the battle then?â Obi-wan goaded, gesturing to the holomap before him, amusement sparkling in his eyes as he watched his padawan squirm beneath his gaze.
âWell I-â you could hear the lost tone in Anakinâs voice as he desperately searched for something to say, you having half a mind to let him sit in the hot seat before you let your eyes roam over the map, happy to see that you recognized the battle Obi-wan was walking you through.
âThe republicâs army comes from behindâ you offered before things could get too awkward, feeling Anakinâs gaze snap in your direction as you spoke âon that ridge over there, flanking the enemy forcing them to surrenderâ
Obi-wanâs gaze turned to yours with a warm smile as he nodded, no doubt knowing you would know the answer even if you hadnât been paying complete attention, before he flicked it back to his padawan, raising his eyebrows slightly as he spoke âvery good padawan Y/L/Nâ
He held Anakinâs gaze for a moment longer, an unspoken conversation happening between the two of them before Obi-wan continued lecture like usual, turning back to face the rest of the room.
Taking the opportunity you leaned back towards Anakin again âif thereâs one thing I donât need your help with, itâs this classâ
The smirk made another appearance on his mouth as he looked down at you, but this one felt different than before, warmer somehow, as he nodded ânoted princessâ
-
Whatever confidence you had bolstered from battle strategies quickly left you the minute you got to saber training.
Anakin was already in the center of the room, feet planted squarely on the mat as he spun his saber effortlessly around his body, concentration etched onto his face though you could tell even from across the room that he was just having fun with it. What you wouldnât give to be able to whip your saber around with such precision that it seemed almost careless.
âYou gonna come fight or having too much fun back there enjoying the show?â
You detested the amusement in his voice as you realized youâd spent much too long staring at him from the doorway. Unable to think of much of a response, you immediately cast your gaze down to your shoes, blindly making your way towards the mat, unclipping the saber from your belt.
âWhat no training sticks?â You asked with a bitter laugh as you turned on your lightsaber, giving it a half hearted twirl in your hand as you set your stance.
âDonât worry Iâll try not to hurt youâ he winked back as he did the same, making you fight the urge to roll your eyes.
You waited for him to make the first attack, the two of you spinning in a circle around one another, each waiting for the other to strike first.
Not once did that stupid smirk fall from his face, frustration rising more and more within you with each step until you couldnât take it anymore, deciding to suck it up and make the first move.
Swinging your saber down at him Anakin deflected the blow with little more than a flick of his wrist, barely moving from his original position no doubt in an attempt to show you how easily he could win if he wanted to. Fine, if thatâs how he wants to play it.
You barely gave yourself time to recover before making another swing, Anakin deflecting with another simple movement, but you were back at it. Blow after blow Anakinâs saber met yours at every thrust effortlessly, but still you push forward, kept getting closer, not even noting that Anakin never bothered to take a step back. Not noticing how close you got to him until his empty hand shot out mid swing, capturing your wrist and disarming you with a twist, your saber now held tightly in his hand.
Before you could even comprehend what had happened he yanked hard on your arm, twisting you wildly until your back came crashing against his chest, one arm holding your saber and wrapping around your waist to pin you against him the other pressing his blade right up against your throat.
You couldâve screamed in frustration, at how easily he had pinned you, at how effortlessly he seemed to be able to block everything you threw at him, at how close and vulnerable you were now that he had you now pinned against him.
âWhat is this some game for you? Are you just toying with me?â You spat back at him, not bothering to hide the anger in your voice.
You heard a deep chuckle from behind you, could feel it ruminate up through his chest as it pressed you even further into his chest before he spoke, voice low and right in your ear, his breath tickling the shell of it with each word âIâm teaching you princess. Now use that big brain of yours and figure something outâ
And you couldâve laughed at his so called advice, at how easy it is to tell someone to figure something out when you didnât have a saber against your throat.
Instead you decided you were done fucking around.
Picking your foot up you slammed it down hard on the jediâs left foot at the same time rearing your head back harshly to make contact with his nose, both attacks catching Anakin enough by surprise that he released his hold on you, stumbling back and releasing his grip on your saber enough that you could slip it from his grasp, pivoting on the spot and pointing the tip of the blade right at the jediâs throat.
Anakin in response held his nose in his hand, pinching the bridge of it as he completely ignored your saber pointed at him, giving you a disappointed glare from overtop of it.
He sniffed and wiggled his nose before shaking his head and bating off your saber with his own half-heartedly âyou know that trick wonât work anywhere but hereâ
âGood thing I donât need it to work anywhere but hereâ you returned with a smirk, stepping back a few feet before dropping back into a fighting stance.
Anakin offered nothing more than a disappointed sigh before he dropped into a stance of his own, giving his nose one last check before he launched forward to attack.
You had no problem dodging each of his blows, your body always out of the way of the arc of his saber. The issue arose when it came to deflecting them. Swing after swing your saber was always there to meet his but the effort of stopping each of the jediâs much more powerful swings had your arms shaking after mere minutes, your feet scrambling back to try and avoid the brunt of each blow as much as possible.
Anakin, however, seemed to zero in on your weakness immediately, never relenting as he swung again and again. You in response started to try and redirect each blow, hoping that redirecting the power of the swing would take the load off your arms.
That was until his saber seemed to hit yours at just the right speed, just the right angle, that the force of it reverberated down to your hands, your grip faltering for just a second but it was enough to have the cool metal of the hilt of your saber slip from your grasp.
Anakin hit immediately with another blow, effectively knocking your saber out of your hands.
You watched dejectedly as your saber slid out from your grasp and flew across the room. With a small sigh you held your empty hands up defensively ready for Anakin to sheath his saber and start listing off all the things you did wrong.
Instead you watched as Anakin stayed rigid in his position, lightsaber still held in front of you, knees still bent ready to strike.
âI get it, you win, Iâll get âem next timeâ you pushed mock enthusiasm into your voice as you started to make your way off the mat in the direction you saw your saber go when a blue column of light swung down just in front of you, barring your movement.
âSo in an actual battle your plan is just to give up when you lose your lightsaber?â Anakinâs chiding voice had you gritting your teeth as your head snapped in his direction, little more than an amused smirk on his face as he talked âmaybe offer your neck to the sith for an easy decapitationâ
âNo Iâll-â frustrated words died in your throat as you sought an end for your sentence. You were tired, sweat had your robes sticking to your torso uncomfortably and every muscle you had burned, now was not the time for his mind games.
âYouâll what?â he pushed forwards, retracting his lightsaber so it now was held in that defensive position you were now all to used to seeing him in.
âI donât know Iâll figure something outâ you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest.
âThen figure something outâ he goaded with a raised brow before striking, his saber moving slightly slower than you knew he was capable of, giving you plenty of time to side step out of the way.
âOkay I get itâ you called back to him as you dodged another swing, taking a step back towards the edge of the mat âyouâve made your pointâ
âIâve made my point when you stop thinking of this as just trainingâ he shot back with another swing of his saber, pushing forward forcing you to take another step back âthis isnât just to get through training so you can advance in the jedi ranks this is about survivalâ another swing, another dodge and another step back âthis is about making sure you stand a chance out on the battle fieldâ you felt the floor beneath your heels start to give way, your toes balancing on the edge of the mat âthis isnât some game Y/Nâ
You felt your irritation grow within you with each word. You knew this wasnât some game, you had been outside of the walls of the temple, you had been on a battle field, you knew you needed help with your fighting skills but who was he to decide after one day that you werenât taking this seriously enough.
You watched as he set up for his next attack, as his foot landed far out in front of him as he lunged forward, the whole world seeming to slow around you as you side stepped the saber, Anakinâs hand sailing past you effortlessly. Without a second thought you seized his wrist, giving it a small twist in the wrong direction as you pulled him forward with it, effectively knocking the jedi off his balance.
Before he could realize what was happening Anakin was sailing forward, past you, to the ground below as you pivoted around to face him from atop the mat, his lightsaber now clutched firmly in your grasp.
Spinning slightly in the air so that his shoulder first made contact with the floor Anakin slid a few inches on the ground, coming to a stop on his back and looking up at you only to see his own lightsaber pointed down at his throat.
âDo you want to offer up your neck for an easy decapitation now?â
And to your surprise you heard nothing back but a laugh. A sound you didnât think Anakin Skywalker was even capable of.
âThat was good Y/Nâ
You felt your feet faulter beneath you, your knees nearly giving out, was that a compliment?
Your mind was still reeling as you shut down his saber and dropped it to the ground next to you, because Anakin Skywalker did not compliment you. Tease, chastise, bully sure he did all of those things but never compliment. And he certainly didnât smile at you like he was doing now.
It was a weird sight to see, Anakin grinning from the ground below you, eyes twinkling slightly as his whole face changed with it, and to your horror you found a part of you liking the way it looked on him, as he extended his hand out to you.
Before you could even think better of it you reached out and grabbed his hand, helping to haul him to his feet, ignoring the slight tingle his touch left on your skin, blaming the way your cheeks felt hot beneath his gaze on the exertion of fighting him.
âYou may never overpower your opponent but youâre fastâ Anakin continued on as if nothing had changed, dusting himself off, the hint of a smile still playing on his lips as he talked âuse that, dodge until you have them making sloppy attacks then strike as soon as you canâ
It took you too long to notice that he was waiting for you to say something, little more coming out of your mouth than a half-hearted âyeahâ that had his brows drawing in confusion.
Stooping slightly, he came down to your eyelevel, nose nearly close enough to touch your own, and for a brief moment staring deeply into each eye before shaking his head softly âthat was probably too much for today wasnât itâ
Still you didnât respond, not sure if you couldâve if you tried, for some reason unable to pull your gaze from Anakin as he looked at you, fluffy hair framing his face perfectly as if you hadnât spent the last two hours dueling, as if you werenât drenched in sweat.
Anakin frowned back in response, a single hand coming out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before he could think better of it. Then bending down and picking up his lightsaber from where you had dropped it âget some rest princessâ
He spoke softly, softer than you had ever really heard him speak before he started to make his way towards the exit, leaving you standing on the edge of the mat, before he called out âI mean it, you did well todayâ
It was only after he left that it dawned on you, he had used your actual name.
-
Maybe it was naive of you to think that things could change so quickly.
That all it took was one decent lesson from him and the two of you could seamlessly slip into a weird sort of friendship.
Maybe you just wanted to believe you could put everything behind you so easily that you assumed he wanted to do the same.
Youâd heard people gush about Anakin Skywalker before. About how helpful he could be, how nice, how charming.
You never got to meet that side of Anakin Skywalker, the man locking that part of himself from you practically the moment he met you. But you had really thought you were starting to see it these past few weeks.
The teasing comments had started to disappear, or they at least lost all their edge, coming off as more inside jokes than anything. He walked you to class every day, some days going out of his way to find you before he started to head in that direction. Your personal space found itself being invaded by him more and more, Anakin no longer going out of his way to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Lingering touches, wandering eyes, inside jokes that had the two of you seeking out each others gaze in crowded rooms to silently revel in what was just said in a way only the two of you would understand.
Anakin Skywalker was quickly becoming your friend.
It was why when you got notified you were heading out on a mission to track down a bounty hunter with him for the first time ever you werenât dreading the experience.
No you were actually excited.
Excited as you clipped your saber to your belt and headed out of your room.
Excited as you rounded the corner to head to your transport ship.
Excited as you stepped foot on the entrance ramp.
Excited as-
âI just donât understand why she has to come with meâ
It was as if a lead ball had dropped into your stomach. The excitement evaporating on the spot as a numbness took over and your step faltered, your body freezing in place just steps down from the ships entrance.
Because you knew that voice, but even worse you knew that tone. The anger, the contempt, the annoyance.
All it took was one simple phrase and you were ripped back into the same existence of just weeks ago before you had fallen for all of Anakin Skywalkers tricks.
âI agreed to train her and Iâve been doing that why does she have to hijack my missions nowâ
And you wished you could say his words didnât affect you. Afterall just a few weeks ago you wouldâve expected to hear them from him, youâd practically grown up hearing this resentment for merely existing in his vicinity.
Then why did they hurt so much now?
Why did they have a painful lump starting to grow in your throat?
Why did they make you wish the ground would swallow you whole on the spot?
Why did you ever think you could be friends with Anakin Skywalker?
âYes masterâ
Anakinâs final words snapped you from your daze but still you had to force your legs to move you forward slowly, making sure that as Obi-wan exited the ship you were an appropriate distance back from the entrance.
He gave you a kind smile as he exited. As easy as it would have been to resent Obi-wan due to his proximity to Anakin you could never bring it upon yourself. âMay the force be with you Y/Nâ he offered you with a small head bow.
âThank you master Kenobiâ you responded easily, mirroring his bow.
And he looked like he wanted to say more. Perhaps apologize for his padawan, perhaps offer parting words of wisdom, instead he seemed to swallow them, giving you one more slightly tense smile before departing, leaving you with no where to go but up the ramp.
Anakinâs eyes were on you the second you came into view, his face morphing too easily into a soft, friendly smile. âHey, you ready?â
And it was the way he could flip the switch so easily, act so flawlessly that everything was okay, so effortlessly at ease.
Weeks ago you would have bit back, wouldâve offered back some scathing comment, some backhanded remark. It was one thing that kept you from outright hating the young Skywalker. For every insult he spat you always had one to hurl back at him. He could insult you, berate you, belittle you, but you always came back swinging.
Right now though you didnât have it in you.
You offered nothing more than a small nod of your head, not missing the way his smile morphed into a frown at it.
Maybe he was expecting you to say something, maybe he was gearing up for a fight, maybe he really thought you hadnât heard him.
You couldnât bring yourself to care what was running through his head at this moment.
You brushed past him towards the cockpit not missing the way his eyes never left you as you did so, not missing the way his hand hovered just over your arm, not missing the way he so hesitantly followed you.
You just had to get through this one mission and you could go back to ignoring Anakin Skywalker.
You werenât as excited for that prospect as you thought you would be.
-
An involuntary hiss slipped past your lips the second your left foot hit the ground, your weight quickly shifting back to your right to avoid the pain, overcorrecting just enough to knock yourself off balance, all weight balanced dangerously on the edge of one foot as your arms reached out half-hazardly seeking anything solid to steady yourself.
Just before you could tip over another body slotted itself beside you, shoulders fluidly depositing themselves beneath your arm as another arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into Anakinâs slide as he swore quietly âI told you to stay putâ
You laughed bitterly at that, forcing yourself to lean back away from him as much as possible even as the arm on your waist tightened, his other hand clipping his saber to his belt so that it could come up and grab the hand he had thrown around his shoulders, effectively pinning you to his side as he started to drag you back to the wall âYeah sure so you can just leave meâ
You felt him still at your words, the grip on your hand and waist slackening for a second as your words seemed to hit him physically, your position keeping you from properly viewing his face as his voice came out softer than you had ever heard him âI wouldnât do thatâ
His tone caught you by surprise. If there was one thing you knew about Anakin Skywalker it was that the man was loud, the way he carried himself, spoke, hell the way he flew reeked of confidence to the point of arrogance. Anakin was anything but the soft, almost vulnerable tone that just left him.
And you felt a part of you already starting to reach out to him, ready to pull him into your side and assure him that you knew that, assure him that you knew he was a good person, to tell him that you trusted him.
But another part of you couldnât give up the way he tried bench you. How after everything you had been through: all the training, the way he seemed to go out of his way to be nice to you lately, how everything seemed to be looking up, he still thought you were nothing more than a nuisance, a less than.
Less than capable, less than a good jedi, less than an apt fighter, less than worthy of his trust.
His motion continued after the brief pause, the two of you finally reaching the wall and Anakin taking care to slowly set you down against it, a hand supporting your calf as you squatted down, careful to keep your foot off the ground.
âYouâre right thatâs probably a touch too far even for you, so instead you want to what scold me for getting in your way? Tell me Iâm a shitty jedi for getting myself injured? Pull my hair and call me ugly?â
Anakin only sighed in response, one hand coming up to tangle his fingers in his hair as the other planted on his hip, Anakin doing nothing but looking down at you in your position on the floor. âwhy are you always so determined to see the worst in me?â
Again the softness in his tone gave you pause, the sincerity in it something you had only gotten used to in the past few weeks. âAnakin thatâs all youâve ever shown meâ
ânot latelyâ his reply came out rushed, a note of exasperation crawling its way onto his voice âlately we were good. At least I thought we were goodâ
You debated your next words for a second, debated how much vulnerability you were ready to show to the man who has been nothing but hot and cold with you for the past few weeks âI thought we were tooâ
âso what happened?â
âYou tried to get me kicked off this missionâ your answer was quick and blunt, eyes immediately picking up on the way his brow furrowed âdonât even try to deny it I heard you-â
âNo thatâs not-â he cut you off quickly, letting out a frustrated sigh before continuing âI was trying to do the right thingâ
âThe right thing?â you echoed back now furrowing your own brow.
âYou coming here was an unnecessary risk-â
âah so you still donât trust meâ you interjected quickly, watching closely the way his entire body seemed to recoil at your words.
âWhat no-â
âweâve spent weeks training, youâve given me good advice, Iâve gotten better youâve said so yourself. So I donât get why you still donât-â
âitâs not that-â
âSo then what you still canât stand to be alone with me for that long?â
âY/N!â he finally cut you off with a small shout, crouching down in front of you close enough that he nearly occupied your entire field of vision, physically forcing you to pay attention to him rather than let your mind run any longer. âI was just trying to protect youâ
Your eyes bounced back and forth between his for a moment, trying to decern the truth, trying to find the underlying meaning. âI donât know why you think I need your protection. I can handle myselfâ
Another dejected sigh from Anakin, neither of you moving for a tense few seconds before you heard a muttered âforget itâ underneath his breath as he pushed himself up to a standing position.
âwe need to get out of hereâ he offered a hand to you, helping you stand though kept his gaze planted on the back door of the building âweâll stick to the alleyways and use nothing but blasters if we have to, the sabers will be a dead giveawayâ
And though you wanted to push the subject more you knew he was right, get yourself through this mission and you could go back to avoiding Anakin Skywalker. It had quickly become a mantra for you.
You let him pull you softly out the back door, Anakin carefully checking around each corner before ushering you forward, helping you hobble on your one good leg slowly back towards your ship. That was until you heard an eerily familiar voice around the next bend.
âFind the jedi scum and bring them to me. The separatists have plans so I want them alive do you understand me?â
Anakin didnât hesitate before pushing you back against the nearest wall, using his own body to try and shield yours from view as he pinned you against it, one arm bracing himself against it just over your head.
You looked up at him with wide eyes as the two of you listened intently, footsteps slowly drawing much too close for your comfort.
From this distance you could clearly see the set in Anakinâs jaw as he kept his eyes planted at the nearest corner, muscles tense ready to pounce at a moments notice. That was when the thought struck you.
âQuick kiss meâ
Anakinâs entire body froze at your words, his eyes snapping to meet yours blown wide in confusion and shock.
âCome across two people kissing in an alleyway theyâre certainly not going to expect them to be jedi so quickâ You explained in a harsh whisper, giving his robes a quick tug.
Anakin, however, stayed rooted in place, elbow on his arm planted on the wall locking in place to prevent him from getting any closer to you, wide eyes cemented on your face as his chest didnât even rise with breath.
âAni quickâ you hissed, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he was in.
The footsteps continued to grow louder, the soft drag of a heel against the pavement your only indication that they were steps away from your hiding spot.
Anakin still didnât respond, gave no indication that he had heard you after your first command. To no avail you tried to silently beg him to move with your eyes.
âHey whatâre you-â
That was all you let them get out before you made your next decision, grabbing for the blaster on Anakinâs hip you aimed and fired, the shot hitting them square in the forehead sending the hunter to the ground before they could even finish their question.
The blaster noise seemed to finally snap Anakin out of it, a soft shake to the Jediâs head being the only indication that anything had been wrong as he wordlessly pushed himself off of you and snapped his gaze down to the dead man before you.
âWhat the fuck was that Anakin?â You hissed, giving his chest a small shove.
Anakinâs eyes, however, never strayed from the unconscious body beneath your feet, his chest heaving with each breath as he kept his jaw locked in place.
âAnakinâ you tried calling his name again, another push to his chest, still his eyes never strayed from the ground, his body staggering slightly as he let you push him âyou blew our cover and because what? Youâre so disgusted by me you canât put up with one stupid kiss for half a second?â
Finally you got a reaction, his stark blue eyes finally snapping up to meet yours, a steel hard gaze you werenât entirely prepared for, eyes that begged you to drop it.
You couldnât help but laugh bitterly at his look, limping a few steps back from him as you shook your head, the heels of your palms coming up to dig tiredly into your eyes âEven after all thatâs happened you really still hate me so much youâd jeopardize the mission to get out of a kissâ
âIt canât happen like thatâ His voice surprised you, the words in of themselves confusing but his tone throwing you off more than anything, an almost pained ring in it sending you sparling.
âWhat?â
A quiet swear from under his breath as he started to pace âOur firstâ he called louder, as if that were an explanation, his hands clenching at his sides âIt shouldnât happen like that, it canâtâ
And you could feel the frustration start to rise within you, the anger from his inaction ebbing to confusion âAni slow down what is happening right nowâ
The nickname seemed to have the desired effect, his pace slowing to a soft stop, eyes snapping up to meet yours once again, an almost guilty expression on his face as he stood before you, Anakin Skywalker looking almost small before you for the first time ever âDo you know how many times Iâve thought of it?â he asked you softly, an anxious hand running through his hair as his eyes broke to look at anything but you âHow many times I almost just-â and he cut himself off with a sigh, a soft shake in his head as he looked down at his shoes, a small scoff escaping before he continued âto think that the first time it would happen was to maintain some stupid cover. That it didnât mean anything. I couldnât do itâ
A part of your brain was lighting up with realization, another part pushing it back down with denial. He couldnât be talking about kissing you, not now, not after sending you years of signals that said otherwise âAnakin what are you saying?â
His eyes connected with yours again, a pained expression and a small tilt of his head telling you to stop pretending you didnât know, begging you to move past faking obliviousness.
But still a part of you was reeling back, sending a huff of air through your nose as you shook your head âHow many times could you have really thought about it, you just started being nice to me a week agoâ
âYears worthâ the words came out on his next exhale, a small shrug in his shoulder as he answered âat least since we were nineâ
But that didnât make any sense, that couldnât possibly be true âThis isnât funnyâ
A small bitter laugh escaped him in response, a soft shake of his head as he spoke âbelieve me sweetheart Iâm not laughingâ
You barely registered the words, your mind already reeling as it went over every thing heâs ever said to you since then, âyouâve been nothing but mean to me since Iâve met youâ your words were soft, spoken more to yourself than to him but still Anakin opened his mouth to respond, your voice cutting him off before he could âalways criticizing me in front of the masters, mocking my attempts to learn, making me doubt my own abilitiesâ
âIâm sorryâ
And some part of your brain registered that those were not words Anakin used lightly, knew the weight those words held for him. Another part knew it still wasnât enough.
âYouâre sorry?â You scoffed âyou made me dread every moment I had to spend in your presence for years and the best you have is Iâm sorry?â
Anakin had no response to that, his jaw visibly clenching as he fought to maintain eye contact with you, but no words came, he had no excuse, no real way to make up for it, and you both knew it.
âWhy?â and the question shouldnât matter to you, the ends didnât justify the means, they couldnât, but still you needed to know.
Anakin took a second, drawing in a deep breath as his gaze shifted to your feet, a small shrug of one shoulder before he answered âI wanted to get your attentionâ
And like that you were ready to start yelling again, because surely it wasnât that simple, surely Anakin wasnât that stupid, that childish. Instead, he continued on.
âI donât think I realized that was what it was at first, just knew I liked it when you got in my face and pushed back, liked when you got so wrapped up in me that the rest of the world ceased to exist for a little bitâ another pause, another deep breath âthen once I figured it out I knew I needed to shut it down, the code meant I couldnât get close, couldnât form attachments. Pissing you off felt like a good way to keep you at armâs length while still getting you to notice meâ
A million different emotions swirled around inside of you, each trying to claw their way to the surface. You wanted to yell at him, tell him how stupid that was, berate him for having the emotional regulation skills of a child. You wanted to stay silent, let him stew in his miserly, in his guilt. You wanted to cry, the catharsis, the confusion, the mix of conflicting emotions all welling up inside of you, overwhelming you.
Instead, you spoke softly, your voice sounding almost hollow on your own ears âyou know when you first came to the temple all the other kidâs thought you were weirdâ
Anakinâs gaze shot up to meet yours, a slight furrow in his brow as he tried to figure out where you were going with this.
âLooking back I think they were just jealous. You came in later than the rest of us but you already had a master, Obi-wan Kenobi at that, and you already had the councils attention, so they all tried to stay away from youâ you took a deep breath, swallowing down the slight shake in it âI thought that was dumb and that I was going to be your friend so I went up to you and I was nice. And at first I thought you were nice. Maker I was so excited to make a new friend and then the next time I saw you it was like a switch had been flippedâ Anakinâs disappointed sigh barely registered as you continued âso I tried to be funny, then entertaining, then chill. I tried everything I could to be someone who was worth your timeâ
You could practically hear Anakinâs teeth grinding as he clenched his fist at his side, leaning back to slump against the wall as he thought for a moment before speaking.
âWhen I first got to the temple I was scared.â He admitted softly, gaze casted out blankly to the wall on the other side of the alley âI had just lost Qui-Gon, the council didnât seem to like me, I missed my mother. Then out of nowhere this beautiful girl my age came up to me, took my hand and told me that it was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay, and she said it with such conviction that I couldnât help but believe herâ
You waited with bated breath for him to go on, for him to fill in the gaps of your own story.
âThen what the council said to me about fear hit and I became ashamed of having been a coward, ashamed of needing someone to hold my hand, ashamed of being weakâ
You couldnât have stopped the small chuckle from escaping if you had tried âAnakin you are a lot of things but weak isnât one of themâ
He finally met your gaze at the sound, the corner of his lips tilting up in response âI certainly made sure it appeared that wayâ
Another silence blanketed the two of you as you each digested the others story, Anakin finally breaking it with a soft chuckle âyou were an intimidating kid you know that?â
âI was notâ you denied it with an easy shake of your head, barely giving the statement any thought.
âyou wereâ he persisted nonetheless âyou were the perfect jedi student, Obi-wan was always on me about being more like you. Listening to him better, meditating better, paying more attention in classâ
âBet that didnât help the whole hating me thingâ there was no resentment in your voice, a soft understanding if anything.
âDonât you get it sweetheartâ he smiled sadly âIâve never hated you. Iâm not sure I could if I triedâ
You shook your head softly at that, eyes casted out over the alley around you, speaking after another short beat âcome on Skywalker, letâs get back to the shipâ
Anakin stayed leaned against the wall for another moment, giving himself a pause to study you before he pushed himself up and offered you his arm to help you walk with a small nod.
You hobbled further down the ally with his help, nothing but the sounds of your deep breaths until you spoke in little more than a whisper âyou know you were so busy ânot hatingâ me I donât think I ever got to know the real Anakin Skywalkerâ
There was a slight pause in his step at your words, his eyes shooting to the side to meet yours as he raised a brow âare you sure you want to?â
âIf heâs anything like the man Iâve been around for the past few weeksâ you answered with a small shrug âthen yeah. I really doâ
Anakinâs face broke out into a wide grin at your words, and you found yourself admiring it once again, for the first time your own mind remaining quiet as you did rather than chastising you for it as usual.
âIâll try not to disappoint Y/Nâ
You chuckled softly at that, âGiven your previous experience youâve set the bar exceptionally lowâ you pointed out giving his shoulder a playful shove â but Iâll hold you to thatâ
Can you do watching a scary movie with padme, anakin and some of your other friends and you get scared but your embarrassed about it and anakin notices it and just holds your hand and cuddles you the whole time please
Absolutely I can! we love a bit of soft, low stakes comfort from our Ani
Hiiii ... I don't know when you'll be back but I want you to know that I miss you very much and your stories mean a lot to me đĽş
Couldn't Get Rid of Me if You Tried I love it madly , what I mean is that I would like to read another story of Anakin comforting the reader and being protective .
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I cannot tell you how much that means to hear I'm so sorry for leaving you for so long!! I'll try not to make it that long of a break again! It's so nice to know people get something out of my writings though, it feels like a put a little bit of myself a little bit of vulnerability in each so it means the absolute world to me that they mean something to you!
I'm absolutely obsessed with a soft, sweet, protective Anakin I'd love to write some more of that! I'll do my best
It has been so soo long dear anon. I feel so bad about that but I'm doing good, I think I'm in one of the better places I've been since starting this blog a few years ago if that makes sense so that's good! You're so sweet for asking! How are you doing?
Could I make a request?đ with anakin x princess!reader where obi wan and anakin went to the princess planet for jedi negotiations and he saves her life, and years later he sometimes is her bodyguard because her family trusts him now, and their relationship is like Rhaenyra's and Harwin's from hotd, and maybe have one or to children togetherđ I love the drama đ
Anyways, thanks â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Absolutely you can! I'm so sorry this is an absurdly late response!
I have a confession to make though, I haven't seen hotd. I'm sorry! But I'm still scarred from the last season of got.
I will absolutely do my research for it though! and I'm a sucker for a bodyguard trope lol
Collection of writings @starlazergazer - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
