Chell. 21. Wyoming
Perfect hair days. Falling asleep next to someone. Dream Catchers. Catching up. Wyoming's Night Skies. Mix CD's. Dill pickle seeds. First kisses. Snooze. Unexpected victories. Finishing a book. Closing tabs after finishing an assignment. "I love you"s. Fresh starts. The smell of old books. Good morning kisses. A boy's sleepy voice. Snuggling. Licking the spoon. The North Face. Fireflies. Empty theater. Free shipping. Hotels. Effortless conversations. Drunken Heart-to-Hearts. Alone. Head on chest. Boyfriend's sweaters. Solo roadtrips. Collections. Payday. Ahead of the game. Genuine smiles. Tea with honey. "Firsts". Goodnight texts. Rediscovering. Losing track of time. Surprise visits. Just enough. Sunsets. Adventures. Accidental discoveries. Feet-Off-The-Floor-Hugs. Long weekends. Remembering the little details. Window seats on the airplane. Lazy weekends. Being the first to know. Sleeping with the window open. Crackling firewood. Fireworks. Season premieres. Netflix. Late night flights. Comfortable silence. Harry Potter marathons. Full moons. Fixing what's broken. Christmas lights. City skylines. Bucket list. Northern lights. Blankets right out of the dryer. Crisp bills. Growth. New socks. No lines. Boy smell. Poetry. Camping. City overlooks. Exact change. Extended deadlines. Old conversations. Smell of fresh laundry. Warmth. Perfect timing. Untouched snow. Midkiss smile. Full tank.Titration. Handwritten letters. Snow days. Perfume. Naps. Marathons. Stargazing. Kept promises. Forehead kisses. Old photos. Blank to-do list. Mutual feelings. Specimens. Finding the way. Youth. Bruises. Chemistry. Lost Sailor(s)
One thing stands out to me most whenever I think about the most toxic relationships I’ve been in.
I spent a lot of time feeling stressed, unhappy, angry, hurt and taken advantage of - and blaming the people I was involved with for making me feel all of those things. I blamed them for treating me poorly. Meanwhile, I was the one who continuously stayed around for it all. Looking back on my experience, now, what have I learned? Self awareness.
At some point, we have to recognize when we’re pointing our fingers in the wrong direction.
I go through phases. Some days I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then some days I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me.
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