A whale named Reise was most patriotic, he lived west of Florida and celebrated most dearly when his waters were renamed.
“Gulf of Mexico? Pah!” He spat. “Gulf of America, that’s where I live! Me and my kind, there are not many left, but its America we love, not that Mexico thingy!”
And love it he did, spreading word to all his friends to help out when they could. So when their country declared Holy War, oh how it broke Reise’s heart not to take part. Try as he might, no recruitment office would take him. “Sorry, my deer fish, only humans may fight!”
For months Reise wracked his brain, looking to help. Then, one night strolling the coast, it hit: the gas price rose! Too much was foreign oil relied on, he knew, and the Holy War hurt distribution. It must be fought but think of the consequences: oil barrels might go up from $1 to $2! At last Reise knew how he could help, so he packed his things and swam fast as flash to the beautiful capitol of DC.
There he found the government afright, they argued and cried, concerned for their people. For if oil prices go up, how will they get to work? Productivity would plummet! Just think of the quarterlies next month!
“Prices for oil keep going up and up!” cried one Senator.
“What shall we do? The profits! The profits! The profits are dropping!” Cried a Representative.
It was then that Reise flapped into the room, with a solution in flipper, he announced to them all: “I am Reise, a whale of Rice! I come from the Gulf and I know where to find oil!”
The Congressmen all stared at his proposal, a detailed presentation, with a detailed map of the Gulf of America.
“But Reise, my dear fish, aren’t you endangered? Protected by law? Won’t this will surely destroy you?” A Senator asked, only to be scolded by another Senator.
“Don’t be ridiculous, whales aren’t fish! They are mammals, almost like you and me!”
Reise laughed at their squabble and shook his head. “If you believe me to be a fish, a fish I shall be. For America my love, I shall be anything!” He sat his maps down and made a bow.
“Waive the rest, my honorable men, I shall talk to my friends! In a week’s time you will know what they say!” And off he went, leaving beautiful DC for clean waters of the Gulf.
Reise swam as fast as he could back to his home and gathered all his friends. His friends were numbered 50, just about the last of their kind. It mattered not, for America’s oil interest needed them.
“My friends! A Holy War wages and hurts interests here at home! There’s only one thing we can do to help!”
“Stop the war no one wanted?” Interrupted a fellow whale of Rice. Everyone groaned in response; they all knew who said that. An annoying member dressed in blue and in love with green. Rightfully the others snapped him back into silence so Reise could continue.
“NO. We can help by showing them where to find domestic oil! Right here, where we live! The Gulf of America has plenty of oil ripe for the taking!” His friends all cheered. For once they could aid their country! Only one questioned; can you guess who? Though all were annoyed, any good democracy pretends to listen to all, so pretend they did.
“But we live here, and we are fragile. If they drill our home, we will surely all die.”
“Enough of this!” Reise finally snapped. “We are JUST whales! A weird little one, no one cares! If we are in the way then so be it. Death is a small price to pay for security! Now then.” He went on with the rest of his proposal.
With a vote of 49-1 in favour, Reise went to the nearest Florida town to send the message to DC. The noble soldier who sent the message out for him returned and made small talk. “This part of your plan, how do you plan to go about it? As a whale, couldn’t you just drown?”
Reise smiled and shook his head. “No, that won’t work. It is believed that we are fish so fish we are. In any case, it won’t leave a big enough indication for drilling. No, we need guns.”
The soldier smiled, proud of this little thing. “We have plenty of guns, we’d be proud to donate to the cause.” At this Reise jumped out of the water and shook his head fiercely.
“We would never dream of receiving hand outs! No, we shall work for the guns. I shall aid fishermen until our plan is approved. By then we shall have enough money to buy them from you.”
And so he did. Reise and the other whales of Rice helped small business fishermen fish, being paid whatever the fishermen wanted to pay. A month later, Reise had saved up enough to buy all the guns they needed. His plan was approved easily by the executives in DC. So once they got word, they got started.
Reise and his friends scoured the coast looking for oil deposits. “Here! Here is some oil! Reise, Reise I found some oil!” A friend of his declared. Quickly all swam towards him, and yes indeed he found oil! Now they needed to alert the ships above. The plan was very clear in how to do so. Early on Reise knew that not only would the Gulf need to be ravished, but his species as well would need to be removed. They were in the way, and he knew it. To solve the problem, he determined the best course of action was for he and his friends to find oil deposits, to save the hardworking men and women from blind drilling. Then, each whale of Rice that found the deposit,would tie himself to it, then shoot himself. The blood would alert the ships, the body would indicate where to drill. 50 whales of Rice plus Reise himself, that is at least 51 new sources of domestic oil.
Reise’s heart welled with pride as this first oil strike was found. The whale who found it proudly took his gun, pointed it in his mouth. He looked at everyone, then nodded with absolution. “For America! For oil! Praise be!”
He pulled the trigger, the gunshot blasting through the water, hurting everyone’s ears. The whale’s head burst like a bubble shooting blood and brain and bone every which way. The once clean water now smelled of iron and felt hot as the dark blood bubbled around the corpse. A shadow covered the sun, indicating that a ship had arrived. The drilling would begin! The whales cheered and moved on.
The process repeated along the coast: finding oil, sacrifice, ship arrival. All whales who took part did so willingly, save for the one dissident, the blue lover of green, who fled after the first sacrifice. Finally, after working for so long, the only whale of Rice left was Reise himself. Reise looked proudly at all he helped accomplish. The blue waters now turned a beautiful oily black, shimmering with rainbow. The blood of his friends mixed with the oil extracted, making him more proud than ever. His friends, and soon he himself, will be part of the great works of America. The Holy War, the cars, the profits made would all be fueled in part by their blood. Now it was Reise’s turn to find oil, and find he did, the biggest deposit on a previously untouched portion of the Gulf. Reise imagined all the gas prices plummeting, back to the wonderful cents of 40 years passed. Pride welled in his heart once more as he tied his tail to the deposit’s location and cocked his beautiful gun, that was made in America, of course. Reise’s last taste was that of oil, spilling out from one of the dozens of oil drills now in the Gulf. The Gulf of America, HIS America. It tasted like freedom.
Reise pulled the trigger, the bullet shot through his heart, exploding the fragile organ. His pride spewed into the water along with his blood. Reise’s body floated upward where it hit another ship, already making preparations to drill for precious oil.
Farther than he had ever been, the Rice’s Whale that fled, condescendingly called the blue lover of green, floated at the edge of what used to be his home. He looked in horror as the once blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico now flowed black. Black as night with a rainbow sheen that seemed to mock life itself. There was nothing he could do, he knew, but sit and watch as his home was destroyed beyond repair. The blue lover of green swam by the coast, desperate for anything salvageable. He saw the gas prices, and couldn’t believe it. They had only dropped a dollar, if even that. The last Rice’s Whale choked, not on the environment, but on the fact that his species was exterminated for a short term drop in cost.
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