Stuff no one really talks about
(or maybe I'm just weird and nobody else is having these struggles?)
- since my ED has gotten worse, my blood sugar has been crashing. It leads to me always feeling like I'm going to pass out and I hate it. I didn't even know what it was until a family friend pointed out the other night that I was acting the same way he does whenever his blood sugar is jacked up. Point is, cutting out sugar entirely is impossible.
- I've seen a couple posts about being cold when restricting, but they don't elaborate as much as I'd like them to. It isn't the type of cold where you can cover up and be warm, the feeling doesn't go away. I can no longer sleep with a fan on and I always double up layers. It's exhausting, but nobody else talks about it (or as I previously stated, maybe I'm weird).
- I get tired doing the smallest things, like walking up a few stairs. Not tired enough to sleep, but enough to where I have to take a moment and let my heart settle down because it's beating like I just ran five miles. (I'm not overweight or obese in any way, but I'm not underweight either.)
- my hair has been getting extremely thin the past few weeks as well, and I knew it would, but I didn't expect that much. It's dead.
- deep under eye bags no matter how much sleep I get. They won't go away.
- my fear food list grows a lil longer every day. Right now it takes up the front and back of a standard college ruled notebook page. The stress of avoiding that food gives me anxiety and makes it impossible to focus on anything else.
- all those posts about šš¤ avoiding food šš are complete bs as soon as you start to become legitimately triggered by thinspo. Once you become triggered by a picture or a few words, food never leaves your mind. Sure, I can paint my nails, listen to music, and play Sudoku, but the thought is always there. 'if I were to eat that, I'd then have to walk for this long and do about this many crunches'
- the only way to successfully avoid a binge is to pay attention to yourself and document how you feel before, during, and after. This means letting yourself binge a few times, but fighting it as much as possible to simulate a real one. I did this several weeks ago and I avoided binges up until this week because my routine changed.
I'd appreciate it if you'd drink some water and give yourself a snack, thanks. š»š