I'm tired of being broken.
I just want my brain to be nice to me.
I just want to be able to feel good without feeling like I'm letting someone down.

JVL
wallacepolsom
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Xuebing Du
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DEAR READER
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will byers stan first human second

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
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trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@staticvssilence
I'm tired of being broken.
I just want my brain to be nice to me.
I just want to be able to feel good without feeling like I'm letting someone down.
You ever just let things get bad because you don't know how to stop it and even if you did you wouldn't, until all of basic tasks like eating and moving and using the bathroom all feel useless and impossible? Just me?
Why cant i just be normal
I dont not want to be alive
I just dont want to be me
Me sucks
But then again, if I was someone else, I'd probably still be the same
I dont get it
You don't hate me?
But I deserve it
I dont know how to be forgiven
I dont know how I havent cracked and just finally fucking killed myself
I'll be just as much of a fucking failure and a let down, I just wouldnt be alive to see it
I dont want to keep trying anymore
I dont want to go through another fucking year pretending the good stuff makes it worth it
I'm done experiencing things
Just let me decay
way too much and never enough
I'm so tired of being too much for anyone to handle
Even my smallest emotion is too much
I have to deal with my too much every second of every day
Leaning on people does nothing but hurt them and I am a fool to ever think otherwise
I'm a shell of a person
I dont even know how to describe my feelings
Nothing matters, but everything matters, and I dont know where to start to fix all of the crap building up in my life
I'm just so tired of existing
I wish I wasn’t so scared to actually kill myself
I don’t think I want to feel better anymore. I just want to skip to the dying part.
everyday
I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty
maybe im not meant to be okay