This is a blog where I post fan fiction, mostly about K-Pop boy groups now! I write mostly angst and fluff with some suggestive themes as well, but I am thinking of trying my hand at smut again, so that may be coming to my blog soon!
The groups I will currently write for:
BTS
NCT (all members)
TXT
Monsta X
Cravity
The Boyz
E'Last
iKon
Xdinary Heroes
Stray Kids
Ateez
Seventeen
Got7
TNX
&audition/&Team
Enhypen
Xikers
The shows that I will currently write for:
One Piece Live Action
Teen Wolf
Supernatural
More groups will probably get added along the way as I get into more groups, but this is my main list for now!
Masterlist
Requests are: Open for ALL groups and shows!
Request here!
Please feel free to request! I love writing for others and doing concepts that people want to see more of! Don't be shy, I will do almost any request in the angst/fluff genres atm!
I high-key hated what Mr. Moon said to Gun-woo in Season 2 and I needed to fix it - my boy needs to hear the truth about himself.
pairing: Gun-woo (Bloodhounds) x gn!reader
warnings: mentions of blood/injury, lots of crying
Sitting beside Gun-woo in the waiting area of the hospital, you placed a hand gently onto his knee. The call he had just had with his mother was heart-wrenching; the fact he thought it was all his fault, the fact that Mr. Moon and Woo-jin had ended up injured. That he could convince himself that if he had only taken that deal, no one would have been hurt. But you would have been, and his mother would have been, because you knew, somewhere deep in the instinctual animal part of you, that if he had gone to the IKFC, even for one fight, he would have come back broken. If he came back at all.
Gun-woo falling apart wasn't a new experience for you; you had been there through everything last year with Myeong-gil's gang, you had even helped pick up the pieces. But you had hoped violently that everything could be over now, that Gun-woo and Woo-jin could try to rebuild and enjoy some peace. Hadn't they earned it?
Mr. Moon comes out of his room and Gun-woo stands, rushing to check in on him. You liked Mr. Moon and were grateful for everything that he had done for the boys, but you feel like Gun-woo needs a moment with him, so you stay seated, wanting to give them space.
You stare down at your hands, red and bloodied from the fight to save the two men who had so foolishly rushed into battle. Part of you felt an anger well up, just for a moment, feeling like if they had just shown some patience, they wouldn't have been hurt and Gun-woo wouldn't be tormented by their pain. But you quickly tamp it back down, knowing both that it wouldn't help anyone, and that it was unfounded. Both you and Gun-woo would have done the same thing in their position, and you had to recognize their desire to save Gun-woo, his mother, and Tae-young.
You zero back into the conversation as you hear Mr. Moon ask Gun-woo, "have you been crying?" You close your eyes, your face tightening as you imagine Gun-woo's shame and guilt - he was a kind-hearted man but he was still a man; to be exposed for breaking down would only drag him further under. You hear him try to play it off and you sigh.
"You have an iron fist..." You look back up to see Mr. Moon holding Gun-woo's hand in his, looking at his bruised knuckles. "But a heart of cotton candy."
The words bring a smile to your face, knowing the truth of the words. They're the very thing that made you fall so quickly for Gun-woo. Everyone saw him as the strong boxer, the underdog coming from the shadows to take the crown, the fighter. But you had instantly seen through the facade; seen the gentle ways he watched his friends and family, listened to people with an open-mind, loved with every fiber of his heart, like he couldn't do anything else. How he had cared so much about his mother, he refused to drink, so he could never become like his father who had so hurt them both. How everything he did was for her, or Woo-jin, and for you, as Gun-woo quickly enveloped you into the fold of the people he loved ā into his family.
But the smile slips from your face as Gun-woo apologizes, and you realize yet again, you've misread what has been said. That this was something Gun-woo took as criticism; a flaw, a way that he wasn't strong enough, not smart enough, not built right to protect his family.
You want to speak, but Mr. Moon beats you to it.
"Promise me one thing. Here. Harden your heart like cast iron as well. That way, your people stay safe."
You don't dare to speak, listening to the words with horror and anger. You watch as Gun-woo agrees and a part of your heart shatters for the man before you. What was the world doing to your gentle boyfriend? Why must the world be so cruel?
You decide to hold your tongue, smiling at Gun-woo as he turns to collect his things so you can all go see Woo-jin and get back to Min-beom's company. He didn't need any more pressure now, he needed your support. That's what you would be, at least until you were alone.
~~~~
You made it through the meeting with Min-beom, his cousin, and Tae-young. Tensions were high, and you felt bad for the way Mr. Moon was treated by Gang-yong, but you couldn't shake the things you had heard him saying in the hospital.
When you finally all arrived at the hotel, you were split into your respective rooms, and after placing your stuff in your room with Gun-woo's mom and Tae-young, you slip across the hall to knock on Gun-woo's door.
He opens it a crack, before spotting you and opening it wider, allowing you to enter the room. He hadn't even turned the lights on ā he had been sitting in the dark in his dirty clothes, presumably staring into oblivion.
He closes the door behind you, leaving the only source of light as the motion activated one above the foyer. You step back close to him, not touching him, but placing yourself within reach if he needs you. Without a second of hesitation, Gun-woo takes it, knowing exactly what you're offering. He reaches out and folds his arms around your shoulders, pulls you flush against his body so you feel every stuttered breath and every pound of his heartbeat through his jacket. You raise your hands to his back, rubbing in gentle circles, shushing him softly as he begins to cry into your hair.
"What if Woo-jin hyung can never fight again? What if I've taken away everything from him?" He all but wails against your neck, pulling you closer and closer, like he can fold you into himself if he simply wills it so.
"Gun-woo, this isn't your fault."
"If I had just-"
"Stop." You pull away, holding your trembling boyfriend at arms length as his eyes glisten and his lips tremble. "You have done nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Nothing. You can cry, you can scream, you can break down. You're safe here with me, and you need to get those feelings out." You reach up and wipe away a tear from his cheek, and he turns his head into your hand and closes you eyes, letting loose a small whimper. "But I want you to listen to me very carefully." He opens his eyes again, his large hand raising to keep your palm pressed up against his scarred cheek, feeling how he's trembling all the way to his fingertips. "I heard Mr. Moon earlier. How he said to harden your heart." His eyes flash, and you think you see the start of a wall growing, like he thinks you agree with what was said. You raise your other hand, cupping both of his cheeks and stepping back in, a hairs-breadth away from each other. "Do not listen to him."
Gun-woo's eyebrows pull together and he opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again.
"But I have to keep you all safe."
"You can do that without losing yourself." You lean your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you feel tears welling up, not wanting to cry, but knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it now. "You are so much more than your fists, Gun-woo. You are a boxer, yes. You are a fighter, absolutely. You have been through so much, you have fought so hard for everyone around you. But without your heart, you're just another Adik. You're just another Myeong-gil. You're just another whoever-the-fuck is running that IKFC bullshit. You are kind, you are gentle, you are caring, you are so mindful of the people around you. You strive for greatness; in your fighting, in your love, in your presence, in your purpose in life. You give so much more than you take." You open your eyes again to see that he has begun to cry again, tears flowing freely like rivers, and you know your eyes match. "Gun-woo, you are every bit of the man you need to be. Your heart keeps you honest. It keeps you whole, it keeps your driven, and it keeps you you."
You finally place a kiss to his lips and he sobs into the kiss, reaching to grasp at your waist firmly.
"The heart of a boxer is the most important piece of you." You whisper against his lips and he nods, a hand coming to run against the back of your head, smoothing down your hair.
"Now, let's turn the lights on so we aren't sitting in the dark." Only then did Gun-woo seem to realize, he could only see you from the moonlight coming through the open window shades. He chuckles and nods, pulling you in for one more hug, and you know that it's going to be a long night, and maybe an even longer journey.
Takes place in the house of Season 2 but before s2 begins
"How do you deal with it?"
The words were out of your mouth before you could really think about them, or if you wanted to crack open that can of worms on this beautiful rainy evening.
You and Woojin were enjoying a free moment ā Gunwoo was helping his mom with her cafe, leaving you two alone in the living room, curled up on the couch watching the rain. You pulled the blanket around yourself tighter, feeling the regret swelling up and swallowing you in a chill you couldn't blame on the wind on the other side of the glass.
Woojin looked over at you from the other side of the couch, swirling his beer in its bottle slowly. His thick brows furrowed, his eyes shiny from the alcohol, but clear as he assessed you.
"Deal with what?" He flashed you that cheeky wide grin as he chuckled out, "deal with being so damn cool?"
You laughed, feeling your body relax, not as worried about the question you now feel compelled to finish.
"I mean, you're not like a lot of other people." Even though you'd turned your gaze back out the window, you could see in your peripheral vision the way his body reacted to the sentence. "Not in a bad way, you're just... larger than life. You have so much passion, so much energy; you say whatever you want, whenever you want. You give everything of yourself, love with your whole heart, worry with your whole body; you are everything for everyone you meet, and you never seem to worry about giving too much of yourself."
He nodded along, trying to hide the smile threatening to spread across his lips.
"None of that is a bad thing, I know, and that's not really what I'm wondering..." You hesitated, knowing that the next part might hurt his feelings, but suspecting that some part of him already knew. And you needed to know his secret. "But, while Gunwoo and I and Gunwoo's mom and a lot of other people love all of those qualities about you, there are so many peopl who view you as too much. Who think you talk too loud, or talk too much. Who think you put too much of yourself out there, that you have too big of a personality, that you shouldn't try so hard. Some people think you're annoying, or weird, or odd, or who knows what else. Obviously, I don't think that." You turned to lay a hand gently against his shin, the only part of his body you could reach from across the sofa, and he grinned and placed his large warm hand atop yours in that easy soothing way of his.
You sighed gently, flipping your hand to hold onto his calloused fingers, enjoying and seeking out his comfort.
"How do you deal with knowing that giving yourself is seen as too much? How do you handle the way some people react to you; the way they pull away, the way they look at you like you're weird, the way you can feel them grow repulsed the longer you talk or the bigger your emotions get? How can you continue to be yourself, your beautiful, full, loud, funny, weird, genius... stupid, lovely self, when you know every word out of your mouth is a gamble ā that it might be one too far?"
Woojin pouted, his brows furrowed again as he took a sip from his beer. Finally he shook his head, looking back at you and laying his head against the couch back.
"Like you said, some people love me this way so it's alright." He shrugged his shoulders and grinned lazily. "I don't need the whole world to love me. I just need you, and Gunwoo, and mom; I just need our family. I just need those who love me too."
The thought warmed you ā soothing a part of inside you that you didn't realize needed soothing.
"Are you worried," you looked back up as he spoke again, "about who likes you?"
You nodded again, taking a sip of your own drink to delay having to explain yourself. You licked your lips, suddenly trying to find any way out of the conversation you had trapped yourself into. But when you looked into Woojin's eyes, gentle and shining and encouraging, you knew you had to come clean in the hopes it would help you grow.
"Sometimes, when I give myself to people, they pull away or they judge me, or they're mean, and it makes me wonder if it's worth it to give so much of myself." You sighed, laying your head back to look up at the ceiling. "But I don't know how to make myself any smaller. It's like you; you're just you and you're so beautiful and funny and relaxing and engaging and loving. You're so unapologetic and I can't imagine being so carefree when you give so much of yourself."
Woojin leaned closer, pulling on the hand he still had in his. You shifted to sit pressed into his side, letting him throw his arm around your shoulders.
"Sometimes people won't like you, for any number of reasons. If you were to be less, there would be people who would hate that too." He gave your shoulders a squeeze, resting his head on yours as you both turned to look out the window, watching the rain streaks on the glass. "We love you as you are. That's what matters. I know that's easy to say, but it's the truth. You love me this way, and I love you this way, and that's all we need. You can never be too much to the people who really love you ā you can never have too much of something that makes you happy the way you make us happy."
You pressed yourself closer to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of being held in that way. Woojin was no stranger to physical affection with the group, but regardless, the feeling brought a wave of relief through your muscles.
"Stick with us and everything will be alright. Okay, sweetheart?" He felt you tilt your body closer into his and he wrapped both arms around you. "You're our family ā we'll always love you. Family protects their own."
And you knew without a doubt that he meant every word.
Being the only member of the group with his license, and the oldest and therefore feeling like he should set a good example, meant that Junseo's favorite way to spend alone time with you was to take you on drives after work. Long, hard days of practicing and learning and assisting ended in smooth relaxing drives with good music and your hand in his. Most nights, he would find some place secluded with a nice view to sit - inside the car when it was too cold, resting on the hood or sitting in the grass when it was nice out.
The boys knew not to reach out to him unless they really needed him; that he preferred to spend time with only you. He didn't want to make you feel secondary to the other parts of his life, and the only way he knew how was to give you something that was only yours. Those nights, spent under the stars, listening to whatever music you desired, holding each other, laughing, completely away from the world, were moments neither of you would change for anything.
Arno
There was only one thing Arno loved more than you, and that was dance. You knew this and couldn't even argue about it ā watching him dance was your favorite thing. It was common for you to spend hours after you were done with your work for the day to settle into a back corner of a practice room, stealing glances of his lithe body flowing through whatever combination he was working on that day.
But nothing brought more joy to Arno than getting to teach you one of the dances he was learning. Even in the beginning, when you had no experience dancing, he would guide you slowly, gently, hands dancing over your skin to move you into just the right position, breath ghosting over your shoulder or neck or cheek. He was always right there, it was a moment where you both felt as though you became one, sharing something that only you two could feel.
It didn't always end up in a make-out session, but it did often enough that the members tended to leave you two alone in the practice rooms. Something about seeing you share in something he had put so much of himself into, mirroring his passion and attention to detail, made him incapable of bottling up all the love he has for you, and your introvert boyfriend disappears for the evening.
Leo
It was a running joke among the members that Leo spent all of his spare time in his room, usually engrossed with whatever YouTube video he had pulled up on his phone. That was the joke they told the fans. The joke they told amongst themselves was about the time that Anxin had tried to convince Leo to come down for dinner, not realizing that Leo had snuck you into the dorms earlier that day. It had been a day off and you wanted to see him.
You, like him, enjoyed quiet time in the comfort of the blankets, and nothing was better than the feeling of cuddling up together under said blankets. You had been as cuddled into his chest as you could be, pressed against him, while he played his soccer video, catching up on the game he had missed the day before. You had been on the inside of the bed, completely covered by the blanket so only the very top of your head was visible, even to Leo. Anxin, who came in to call Leo to dinner with the rest of the crew, couldn't see you at all, and couldn't tell why Leo was being so weird. Later, when Leo tried to sneak you back out before bedtime, the whole group had been waiting to catch you both.
Geonwoo
None of the members were particularly interested in cooking, but they all agreed that if they had to ask someone to cook, Geonwoo was the go-to. At first, it was because his pasta was arguably the best. But now that he had met you, it was because you had civilized the sweet boy, teaching all about seasonings and tips and tricks for the best recipes. Geonwoo still couldn't care less about cooking, but he loved you, and nothing beat spending an evening in the kitchen, helping you create something else delicious for you both.
He was a quick learner, as well, which was what brought you so much joy. He paid extra attention to anything that came out of your mouth, eyes glued to your hands as he tried to memorize your technique, proud when he answers a question you pose correctly. You would be lying if you said the giant grin he sports after a right answer didn't make your knees a little weak. The delicious food he undoubtably would later feed you while watching your favorite television show definitely didn't hurt.
Sangwon
You had plenty in common with your boyfriend, Sangwon, but one thing that all of the members feel the need to comment on is your love for reading. Similar to Sangwon, it was rare to see you relaxing in your home without a book nearby. Sangwon had even bought you an ebook reader for your first anniversary together because then you didn't have to lug whole books back and forth from your place to the teams dorm.
It was a common sight for the boys to come back from the gym, from dinner, from visiting friends or family, to find you and Sangwon tangled up on the comfiest section of furniture in the dorm, lamps on nearby for the best lighting, snuggled into each others sides, reading your individual books. Sometimes the boys (usually Geonwoo or Anxin) felt the need to point out how uncomfortable you two look; laying against each other on the couch, body parts tangled together, arms at awkward angles to be readable without being in the way of the other, it was no surprise that the boys were concerned about your circulation.
Xinlong
Xinlong and you were both foodies, to say the least. Xinlong was always excited to try something new, see something new, experience something new; and he never loved it more than when you were sharing that moment with him. Xinlong has never been a picky eater, and he quickly enveloped you into the world of "try anything once".
Any spare day without grueling schedules or dragging practices, he would sneak from the dorm to spend the day scouring the city with you, looking for the best whatever you could find. One day, it would be the best Korean BBQ, then the next vegan restaurant, the best breakfast place, the best bakery, the best dessert cafe. No matter what you were eating, where you went, as long as he got to share it with you, he couldn't say no.
Anxin
Every day off with Anxin ended up the same way ā screaming at each other, bent over respective controllers, trying to get closer to the TV screen. The boys used to think that Anxin gaming was loud, but when you had been introduced and invited over more often? They quickly learned how wrong they had been. You and Anxin now had an internal competition; you would take turns finding a new game that you would then bring to the other. Whoever lost after a whole day of practice and games had to buy dinner.
The first two times, Anxin purposely lost; his chivalry tried to hold out against his competitive nature, but he quickly gave up on that and decided to give you a true run for your money. The joking trash talk, the playful glares and shoves, the screams at the screen ā the members had thought you would calm down Anxin, but you seemed to only amplify his behavior.
Sanghyeon
Sanghyeon had a collection of various figurines - characters from shows and movies and games. He had great pride in his collection as it grows. One of the first things he did, the first time he invited you back to the dorms, was show off his collection, eyes shining with delight, practically buzzing with excitement.
Since that day, you made it a mission to find him the rarest, most interesting figurines of all his favorite movies and shows. Every time you presented him with a new one, it was like that first day, the childish wonder and excitement, the brightened boyish grin, that you had fallen so deeply in love with. It was those moments where you shared in something he loved that reminded him how much you cared for him, which pushed him day-in and day-out to find new ways to show his love and appreciation back.
what better way to celebrate the holiday season than with a bit of horror and blood, right? that's why kate and I decided to host a tiny little christmas collab to match~
posting period: dec 13th - jan 13th 2026
who can participate?
Literally anyone above the age of 18 who's interested in writing wintery horror fics. Joining spontaneously after the posting period has already started is fine too!
what works are accepted?
Idol x reader fics (can be platonic/non-romantic)
any group is fine, the idol has to be at least 18y/o
works should be a dark/horror genre, it's up to you how exactly you want to interpret that prompt
nsfw, graphic or disturbing content is allowed, but make sure to tag it properly & include necessary warnings
any length is fine, from a short little drabble to a full length fic
writing several or multi-chaptered fics is also allowed
how to join?
tag both Kate (@blizzardfluffykpop) and me (@jinkoh) in your published fic so that we can find it easily
we'll add every posted fic to a running masterlist that we'll update regularly
please link back to the masterlist on your fic so that readers can also find other works from the collab
feel free to leave a comment under this post or dm either of us if you have any questions or wish to discuss ideas beforehand~
tagging who expressed interest/already decided to join: @stay-mon-army @sungbeam @thegreenlynx
Warning(s): like one swear?, taking your shot kinda publically, but it works out
I swear to God, Seongjun, if you don't turn that down!" You come stomping out of your room, ready to fight your roommate for what feels like the millionth time this month. You had known Seongjun your whole life - he was your neighbor growing up, although you had both gone to different schools, and when you had decided to move out of your childhood home and get an apartment closer to your University, Seongjun had quickly offered to split the cost of rent with you. You hadn't thought much of it, since you knew that it would be both safer to live together and also save you money for a slightly nicer apartment if you had two incomes providing.
What you hadn't been thinking about was the fact that your sweet boy-next-door was the most annoying person you knew. He blasted his music, left dirty dishes and clothes all over the apartment, left water all over the bathroom after taking a shower, was always shirtless or in boxer (a sight you very much didn't need to see at 6 in the morning as you prepared for classes), and always had people coming over who also contributed to the annoying loud and messy environment you lived in. Only one of Seongjun's friends didn't leave a total mess behind, despite Seongjun assuring him it was alright to do so, and that was Seungmin.
You liked all of Seongjun's friends; they were all lovely and welcoming - they were funny and kind and made sure to include you whenever you seemed interesting in joining their adventures. But none of them was as considerate as Seungmin. He would help clean up before leaving or going to sleep, always made sure to yell at the boys if they got too loud (he was loud enough to hear through the walls when this happened, but the sentiment was charming), and he never forgot to say hello when he saw you and wouldn't leave without saying goodbye (unless you had gone to bed first). He was very considerate. Almost too considerate.
You had the feeling that he had a small crush on you, and you weren't the only one who thought so. Seongjun had said as much to you a million times, going as far as to poke fun - making jokes when he knew that Seungmin was coming over, or offering to set you two up on a date whenever you had a bad day at school. You were sure the others also knew about Seungmin's little crush, but you didn't want to embarrass the boy by talking to them about it - they were his friends after all, not yours. You were just the roommate, the add-on. You had no problems with that, but you were also very aware of your standing in the group. You didn't want to make waves or make things uncomfortable for them if you ruined their typical hangout spot of Seungmin's harmless crush.
After all, it all but bothered you. In fact, you found it charming, and you couldn't lie and say you didn't find him even the slightest bit adorable himself.
As you storm from the confines of your room to confront your annoying roommate, you're faced with said adorable knucklehead, a metal hat upon his head. As you skid to a halt in the hallway, you watch as he makes trumpet sounds with his mouth, following along to the music coming from the TV set, before tapping what looked to be your good chopsticks on the metal bowl, still in time with the music.
The boys lounging around your living room don't even hesitate a moment before bursting into laughter at the shenanigans of the boy in front of you who is now cheesing so wide you can see the metal cap over one of his molars. He bows dramatically, accidentally dropping the metal bowl off of his head onto the floor with a huge crash, instigating even more raucous laughter as well as the thump of body parts on the ground as a few of the group slip off of the couch.
He quickly scoops up the bowl, laughing himself, presumably turning to put away the items in his hands. However, he pauses the moment his eyes land on you, a smile still splitting his face and his eyes shining with both joy and unshed tears at the performance he had just put on.
"Oh, hey (Y/N)!" He waves the pot in your direction, before he seems to realize what he was doing just seconds ago. "Are we being too loud?" His face morphs into a sheepish grimace. "I'm sorry."
The way his eyebrows pull together and his eyes shine, you feel a slight tug at your chest. How could you stay mad at that face?
"It's alright. I probably need a break from studying anyway. But please put my good chopsticks back if you aren't going to use them properly. We only have so many nice things in this shithole." The smile on your face makes Seungmin's face relax yet again.
"Oh, yeah, of course." He quickly rushes to put everything back down on the kitchen counter where he had found them.
You decide you were right when you said it was time you took a break from studying, and a movie night with the boys sounded like as good a way to unwind as any. You dip back into your room to grab the blanket you'd been curled under while you studied, and come back out to the living room, where the boys are spread out across your two couches watching the beginning of some action movie. Bowls of candy and popcorn are strewn across the coffee table in the center of the room.
The only empty spot on the furniture is beside Seungmin on the far side of a couch. You pick up a bowl of popcorn on your way and settle down beside him. You feel the way he momentarily tenses as you adjust yourself, pulling your legs up under yourself, spreading the blanket across your lap.
You can't help the small smile it draws to your face, but you hide it behind a handful of popcorn. Without turning to face him, you offer him some as well. You feel his fingers against your palm as he accepts the offered snack, his nails lightly dragging against your skin and your arm jumps at the feeling. As soon as he's scooped up the kernels, you pull your hand back quickly.
That was a bad idea.
You focus back in on the admittedly boring movie, watching some buff suave looking man fight off enemies for some random mission or other. If you were honest with yourself, even as you "focused" on the movie, you weren't focused on the movie. You feel every movement, every settling muscle, every breath, every shift, everything that Seungmin does.
Suddenly, you come to a decision. You know Seungmin likes you too, you know that you've been denying it for a while because you don't want to make anything awkward, but you also know that the boys know and seem to encourage you both. There's no real reason to worry about seeing where this all goes, except your general fear of failure.
So, you decide to simply do what feels right.
You put the bowl of popcorn onto the side table, giving yourself space to turn so that your knees are pointing towards Seungmin. You spread out your blanket, covering both your lap and his. Again, he freezes, but you don't stop, feeling confidence flowing through your veins. Maybe it was the fact you had been staying up studying and were sleep deprived, but you convince yourself it's just time you shoot your shot.
You lean over, feeling the warmth from his body spread against you as you get closer.
"Can I lean against you? I'm so tired." Seungmin stares down into your eyes, pupils shining in a way that makes you weak. He nods, his mouth hanging open.
You smile at him, nudging his arm out of the way so you can press yourself into his side. His arm twitches for a moment, like he's not sure what to do with it, until he finally places it over your shoulder, hand resting against your bicep like he'd pull you closer if you tried to move away.
The feeling of his heart beating and his chest rising and falling with each breath lulls you, reminds your body how tired it truly was from all the late nights you had been pulling as the semester came to an end and finals loomed over you. You fight to keep your eyes open, to watch the stupid movie you're sure that Minjae had picked out (he always had the worst taste in movies). Despite everything you tried, you couldn't help the way your body relaxed and finally, you feel yourself slipping into dreamland.
Next thing you know, you're being moved, feeling your body being lifted from the couch. You crack your eyes, just enough to see through, and you see Seungmin's profile, the hallway to your bedroom. You close your eyes again and hear Seongjun call out some taunt at Seungmin, which is met with a gentle chest rumble.
Seungmin places you down on your bed, pulling the blankets up around you. He tucks you in, pressing the blankets around you to keep out the early winter chill. Just as you think he's going to leave, you feel his hand brushing against your hair, a finger down your cheek.
Oh, he's in deep...
You grasp his wrist, opening your eyes to see the boy looking at you, eyes wide, mouth parted, fear dancing through him as he watches your reaction.
"I like you too, you know." You whisper, smiling at the way his jaw drops.
His hands cup your face, crouching down beside your bed.
"How did you-?"
"It was really obvious." You giggle at the look of embarrassment flashes across his face, the flush of red that paints up his neck to his ears. "But it's okay. I like it." You grin wide at the boy before you, his eyes sparkling, his face open and raw in that way only he can do.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispers. You can feel the way his hands tremble.
"Took you long enough." You whisper back. He grins, wide, and leans it to press his lips against yours gently, tentatively, really only a brush of skin against skin.
Somehow you knew that taking your shot was going to be one of the best choices you had made in a while.
The windchill pulled a shiver out of your body as you looked through the viewfinder of the camera before you. The pack of wild animals known as Xikers playing games in the yard were screaming and laughing and playing to the camera. One boy in particular was being extra careful to garner time on the camera, flashing it his smile and speaking directly to it and being competitive and crazy.
Or rather, he was doing all this to the person behind the camera - you. Every perfectly timed one-liner, every failed receive, every time he flashes those wide beautiful eyes at your camera, you feel your heart pound. You hoped beyond hope that no one else noticed how he only played to your camera. You hoped that you wouldn't get caught because you had only started working here recently, with the new group finally preparing for their debut, and you didn't want... whatever this was... to get in the way.
If you were honest with yourself, however, you knew the real reason for your heart pounding wasn't fear.
As the boys cheered for their leader who was struggling to win the round, you quietly cheered to yourself. You had no real hopes that he would win, but it felt like the least you could do from behind the camera, knowing when he glanced over and grinned it was for you.
You enjoyed watching the boys play around on the field before you, feeling lucky that it was your job. All of the members had been very sweet from the first day. None so sweet, however, as Minjae. From the very first moment, he had found every opportunity to make it clear how he felt when he looked at you. At first, you'd been flattered but distant - you liked this job, it paid well, it was a dream of yours to work in the idol industry for years to create the content you so loved to watch. After a while, though, you began to realize you were waiting for those moments where he would sneak into a room to slip you a flower, a card, a snack. Eventually it grew to slipping you a caress, a hug, a kiss. Soon you were labeling it, between yourselves. It didn't take long before the rest of the boys figured out what was going on. Minjae wasn't the slickest person in the world.
Luckily, you'd kept it hidden from the other workers and your boss thus far.
The boys finish their game of badminton and (unsurprisingly) Minjae's team loses by a hair. His competitiveness swells and he clearly huffs, his body showing his disappointment as he joins Jinsik to the side, even as he smiles to show the fun he's no doubt having. As the boys switch to Korean-only foot volleyball, you worry for the boys, who have stripped down to the lightest jackets they own for movement. You watch them goof and play, but the clenched hands by their sides betray how cold the must be. As Hyunwoo comes to get a mission, you lock eyes with Minjae.
You notice his straight arms, his clenched fists, the slight shiver of his shoulders, and you begin to worry for the slight boy. You make a motion to ask if he's cold, and he subtly shakes his head, smiling gently at you. His eyes tell you he would lie just to not worry you, and it warms you through to the core. You want to rush over and wrap him in a hug at the way he slightly flaps his arms for a moment to move the blood, hoping for a second of warmth, but you know you can't.
As they go back to the game, you begin to hope that they'll just lose quickly and go back inside. As they continue playing, Minjae continues to sabotage himself, getting massage slippers by purposely speaking English, and you can't help but wonder if he's thinking the same thing as he grins at you as he pulls on the rocky shoes.
As the game finally comes to an end, the boys rush back inside and you are tasked with cleaning up the cameras outside and setting them up inside for the next shoot. Picking up your camera and its tripod, your manager comes over to give you instructions.
"Can you put that camera into the zombie room, and then set up the decorations? Yunsu got sick and had to go home before she could set up. We'll prepare the sitting room and the mystery box." You nod, assuring your boss that you had it all under control.
The rest of your colleagues go, as your boss said, into the back sitting room where the boys will play the mystery game, leaving you alone in the "zombie room" as your boss had called it. The lights were on as you set up your tripod behind the door, turning on the camera installed in the corner, and began setting up the various dolls and props left in a box by the door.
As you worked, you began humming along to the unreleased song Minjae had shown you the week before in his studio - an earworm that often trickled out when you were focusing on a task. The soft click of the door closing cutting you off, but as you turn around to see who closed the door, the lights cut out. You stand up quickly from where you were crouching, putting your hands up in front of your body.
"Who's there?" You call, sure it's a coworker playing a little prank.
"Guess." A familiar voice speaks from directly in front of you and you relax instantly, feeling his hands come to tentatively touch your arms.
"Minjae, why'd you turn off the light? And why are you in here? We could get caught." His hands trace up your arms to your shoulders, then to your cheeks, pulling your face into his for a kiss.
"I needed just a second with you. I hate being so close and not being able to be close to you." You know the feeling, that aching pull in his direction every time he's near. But your job...
He flicks on one of the sticks of light by the bed, lighting the room up with a green glow. Finally you can see his mischievous grin. He runs a hand through his hair, pursing his lips in that way he does when he's feeling handsome or cool.
"Much better." He steps back up to be before you in the tight space. "Now I can see you." His hands ghost over yours, looking down at where his fingers dance with yours. You can feel how cold he still is from his moment outside without a proper coat.
"Oh Minjae, your hands!" You grasp them tight in yours, raising them to blow air onto them. "They're freezing. I knew you were cold, you liar."
The soft sparkle in his eyes make it hard to look at him, so you focus instead on the way his fingers twitch at every breath of warm air you blow on them. His fingers flex, breaking free of your grip to hold yours instead, bringing them up to his lips to press a kiss to the knuckles.
"I'm always warm inside when I get to see you."
You make a gagging noice and laugh at the boy cheesing back at you.
"God, you've got to get better lines." You joke, leaning in to press your lips to his like you've been thinking about all day. Just as you move your hand to dip into the softness of his dyed hair, there's a sharp knock at the door.
"Hey (Y/N), just letting you know we're filming in about 5 minutes. You should, uh, hurry up." A giggle cuts off the end of the sentence as Sumin walks away from the door and you feel a flush of pink race to your cheeks. Thank god for Sumin but also damn Sumin.
With one parting peck to your lips, Minjae backs to the door, flipping on the light switch and placing his hand on the doorknob.
"See you after? Dorm?"
You nod, knowing you were planning on it before he'd even spoken.
"Good, I'll see you later, love." And with that, he was out the door and you were left once more, to your job. As you turned to finish the last few items and turn on the rest of the lights, you look to the camera in the corner and freeze.
You had turned that on when you'd come into the room. It had recorded everything.
Yuju had been alone for as long as he could remember. Well, actually that wasn't quite true -- there were a few moments where he had been with a pack, had a group to call his own, numbers in which to feel safety for a short while. However, most of his time had been exposed, out in the open without another soul to watch his back. Fearful and alone, he'd grown to rely on himself, to trust his instincts and follow his gut. That wasn't to say another pair of ears wouldn't be helpful most of the time, but he had grown comfortable alone. At least, that was what he told himself.
In truth, it wasn't even the safety and assurance that another hybrid could bring to the table, but rather the comfort, the warmth, the camaraderie. He missed not feeling so... lonely. Being alone was fine, except when he was lonely. He nearly chuckled to himself at the thought.
Truth be told, while hybrids were generally pack creatures, often due to their animal instincts, many stray hybrids preferred to travel alone. It was safer that way. Humans were begrudging when it came to hybrids - the cuter, more "friendly" breeds were likely to be taken in, cared for, loved, accepted. But the scarier or "dangerous" or even "gross" breeds were left out on the streets, targets for mistreatment by mean-spirited teenagers or drunk adults. Some areas had even begun rounding up and locking away hybrids they deemed as "menaces" or "risks" to humans. Not that most hybrids had any intention to hurt humans other than to protect themselves.
Some hybrids got the good life, though. Yuju had met a few, although most of them he had spied through windows, living happy lives with their adoptive families. On cold, winter days like this, they would curl up next to fireplaces or under blankets with their loved ones, eating good food and watching television from the safety of those four walls.
Yuju had never known what that was like; even his fleeting moments of safety and companionship hadn't been anywhere more luxurious than an old abandoned factory with cardboard boxes and old smelly rags.
Being a fox hybrid, Yuju was one of the "dangerous" hybrids. While there might have been some people who were more than happy to take in a fox hybrid, they came with more permits and requirements than many other breeds, so only a few lucky foxes got taken in by people. Most were left out in the cold, expected to make it on their own.
On days like this, Yuju would look in people's windows, transfixed by rose golden glows. He would be mesmerized by the way the snowflakes outside danced against the frost covered windowpanes before melting into cold slush at the bottoms, heated by the radiant warmth from within. He would see the hybrids who were given a spot at the table, treated like the humans - not like some wild beast to be afraid of.
He wondered if he'd ever get to experience that kind of safety. He doubted it, but he hoped. The thought warmed him as he traveled back to the cave he had found yesterday that he would be staying in. No fire or blankets or food awaited him, but it was his. And for now, that would have to be enough.
Hongjoong had fucked up. He knew he had fucked up, and yet he couldn't seem to figure out how to fix it. He had just been so angry, and part of him still was. It wasn't his fault.
But it was his fault, and if he didn't do something about it, he would lose you. He couldn't lose you.
A few nights ago, you two had gotten into a fight after you had expressed how hard it was with their busy schedule. You had always been understanding of how hard they worked - you knew that their fame only worked because they were one of the hardest working groups in the industry. Without the constant comebacks and concerts and fan-meetings, they would quickly lose fans to groups under wealthier companies who could promote more aggressively in and out of Korea. But you also knew that all that work was driving not just Hongjoong, but all of the boys, absolutely ragged. Not only that, it meant that you could go months at a time without seeing your boyfriend; and when you did see him, he was often too tired to do much, or thinking about the next song, album, choreography, VCR video. He was never in the moment with you.
You hadn't meant to make it a fight, you'd only asked if you thought that maybe taking a small break might be good for them, for all of them. Hongjoong hadn't seen it that way - he thought you didn't believe in him, thought that you were saying that he was pushing too hard for something unachievable, saying that he was too weak to get what he wanted. He thought you had been exposing all of his internal fears - it had drove him mad with rage.
How dare you? What did you know about the long hours, tough days, complex schedules, creative lapses and burnouts that he and the boys went through? What did you know about chasing a dream that was so close, but might be snatched from your hands at any moment? What did you know about being loved by hundreds of thousands of people, filling stadiums full of screaming fans who would do anything for you?
Nothing. You knew nothing. And he had made sure you knew that, calling you stupid and shallow. Saying you simply wanted him for yourself - that you were jealous of all the fans that came to the shows, who thought they had a chance with him because they had no idea you existed. He insinuated that you were selfish for even suggesting that he wasn't spending enough time with you - that all his free time went to you when he could be using it to take care of himself or spend it with his other friends. He'd asked if you would like him better if he wasn't famous - that you'd fallen for him because of his fame, but now you wanted him all to yourself like a crazy sasaeng.
You, of course, had not cared about his fame, his name, his image. You had fallen for him - his kindness, his sweetness, the way he took care of and looked out for everyone around him, the way he loved what he did and poured his all into it. But you had to admit, that while you loved his drive, it was something that scared you. In your eyes, he was close to drowning in that ocean of passion - lost in the never-ending sea of "how can we be even more impressive?"
When he had said all those terrible things to you, you had stormed out. You couldn't deal with him if he was going to be purposefully mean. That wasn't the Hongjoong you knew, but you also weren't an idiot and you knew that once someone thought they could get away with treating you poorly, they would continue to do so. You refused to let him have that power over you. You were equals or you were nothing.
Hongjoong had figured you needed time to cool off - he had needed time too. But after a week without you coming home, he realized that he had messed up. He tried texting you at first - a simple apology, an invitation to go out, any number of things, but you never replied. He really thought he had lost you.
But one day, he had gotten a message from you, two weeks after the fight. You had simply said you were ready to talk, asking him if he was free on that Saturday to meet up at the local park, your favorite place to go together. A good sign, as far as Hongjoong could surmise. Surely you wouldn't want to ruin such a happy memory with a break-up. Right?
Now all that mattered was how Hongjoong was going to make it up to you. What could he do to make you realize that it had all been just a stupid disagreement - nothing serious and nothing to take to heart? How could he get you to forget what had happened and come home to him?
Saturday rolled around, and Hongjoong was no closer to figuring out what to do. He figured since you reached out, you were probably ready to come back to him. If he just apologized and told you how much he regretted what he said, and that he would never do it again, you would accept it and go home with him, and you could put it all behind you. Yes, that was it, simple and easy. You loved each other, after all.
When Hongjoong got to the park at the designated time, he found you sitting under a tree, reading a book. You liked doing that at the park with him, curling up with a story, sometimes reading to each other, as you enjoyed the fresh air. He settled down next to you, stretching out his legs in the grass. He waited for you to put in your bookmark and close the book.
"Hey." You looked brighter than he expected - like you hadn't just spent two weeks not speaking with him, like you didn't miss him. That concerned him, but he tried not the let it show.
"Hi, Hongjoong." You watched him in silence for a moment, waiting for him to speak.
He seemed to realize the silence was for him and he quickly opened his mouth, turning his body to face you. "I'm so sorry for what I said that day, (Y/N). You're not any of those things. I was feeling bad about what you were saying and I lashed out, but I shouldn't have."
You waited a moment longer, before simply nodding. "Okay." You shifted your book on your lap, looking away from Hongjoong for a moment that turns his stomach into knots. "What you did was really mean, Hongjoong. I was telling you how worried I was for you, for the boys, because you work so hard and I'm afraid you'll push too hard and end up hurt. And instead of listening, instead of taking time to work through your feelings about what I said, you called me names. You accused me of terrible things. You became something I didn't know. I loved your kindness, and your compassion, and that day you showed me that you were capable of being terribly mean for no reason other than, what? Fear? Annoyance? Irritation? Frustration? That's not the man I've spent the last two years with. I didn't know you in that moment. Maybe I never really knew you at all."
Hongjoong realized all too late that the churning in his stomach was a prediction of what was to come. He had become a fortune teller for his own misfortune, and he hadn't even payed enough attention to notice. It seemed he didn't pay enough attention to anything these days.
"I'm sorry, Hongjoong, but I think we need some time apart. I think you need to figure out who you are. I think I need to figure out who I am. And then, maybe we can try to figure out who we're meant to be to each other. But for now, it's best if we take some time."
You stood up, dusting off your pants with one hand, the other tucking away your book. You smiled sadly down at him, whispering a final farewell, and leaving. Hongjoong didn't even move, frozen as he watched you leave. Just like that, his world had crumbled down. If only he'd taken a little more accountability a little sooner. If only he'd listened. If only he hadn't let his fears win.
Bang Junhyuk had been through a tough year. No one knew that more than you. Hell, it had been a tough handful of years. Back to back tours, hard comebacks with complicated choreographies learned on the road, long time spent away from home, new faces, new languages, new stages. You had tried to be there through it all, helping him in any way you could even though you were often far away. And then he'd taken a break; one you had urged him for so long to take, having seen the drain that had been slowly taking a toll on him physically and emotionally. You hadn't been certain that coming back when he did was in his best interest, but he wouldn't be away from his members any longer and he was afraid if he waited too long, there would be nothing to come back to. You could sympathize with that.
And so, you'd watched as he'd gone back into the limelight, sharing the songs he'd worked so hard on while he was away, rediscovering his love for his craft. And then he'd told you the news.
"I'm going to join Minjae-hyung and Huijun-hyung on the new season of Boys Planet."
All you had heard was more time apart and more stress on his shoulders.
You refused to add more. "Just don't take it too seriously. Go show the world how amazing you are, on and off stage. Make some new friends, perform some awesome stages, and then come home to me."
He had promised he would.
You had watched and given pointers to the boys as they practiced for the initial stage, sure that they would do as wonderfully as always. As time passed, the boys were brought to the English town in Paju to film, you began to grow both nervous and excited. You knew that they deserved so much more than what TOP Media had managed to garner for them so far and you hoped that your boys could show that to the world.
They were gone for a while, filming and learning and filming some more, and you grew more and more anxious for him. Finally, the first episode was set to air, and you met up with Seongjun and Seungmin at their dorm to watch the airing together. It didn't go well.
You watched as all of the boys were treated with disrespect, told they were lacking and boring to watch, Junhyuk being given a one-star. As the screen showed the mentor saying he wished to give him no-star, you stood up and walked from the room, unable to watch any further.
Seungmin and Seongjun had watched you go sadly. When you finally rejoined, Seongjun had pulled a blanket from beside him and thrown it around your shoulders, giving you a brotherly pat without ever taking his eyes off the screen.
You had gotten through the episode with wrangled back emotions and silent support between the three of you. When the episode ended, the boys had offered for you to stay over and you'd agreed, stealing some clothes from Junhyuk's closet and settling into his bed, comforted by the smell of him.
You'd slept better that night that you'd like to admit.
Time passed slowly, waiting each week for a new episode. Finally, the contestants were given a chance to call home. The contestants with significant others were given an extra call to their partners that wouldn't be aired on the show. You sat by the phone, twisting your fingers into knots until they hurt as you stared at that dark screen.
Finally, it began to ring and you slid the answer button, heart feeling like a jackhammer pounding into your sternum. Junhyuk's face popped onto the screen and you felt a weight fall from your shoulders. He looked okay - he wasn't pale or underweight. He was smiling at you, but it didn't reach his eyes and you knew in an instant that while he looked okay, it was hard for him being there.
"Hey." He mumbled, eyes dancing around the screen like he was taking in every detail of your face.
"Hey." You whispered back, not sure if you trusted your voice.
"How are things back home?"
You sighed, nodding slightly. "Things are okay. We've been watching the show together, Kay-J, Bic, and I." Junhyuk nods along, like he knows exactly what you're thinking.
"I'm sure the show looks way worse than it is here. It's really not that bad."
His eyes, though. His eyes never lied. But he just had.
"Tell me the truth." You didn't have to say anything else. His shoulders drooped, as did his smile. He breathed deeply, looking like he was searching for the words.
"It's harder than I thought it would be. But some of the others have it worse. At least I have Minjae-hyung and Huijun-hyung." His voice wavers, like he's trying to convince you with every fiber of his being.
"The judges are being so mean to you." It had bothered you, you knew it bothered him too. He didn't let it show, but he cared what people thought of him - way more than Minjae and Huijun did. He acted tough, but he was sensitive to judgement, just like anyone would be.
"They don't know what they're talking about. They're mean to everyone here, except the ones they want to win. It's really obvious, even to us." He settled back into his chair, lifting a lip in a half-hearted smile. "Sometimes we get to catch glimpses of what people are saying online. I think this show will be good for us. People seem to like Minjae and me a lot."
You feel your eyes well up as you think about how much he must be relying on that.
"Don't think about the group right now. Focus on making sure you're having fun and doing okay. You just came back from hiatus, I'm not sure if you were ready for this, and I worry about you stressing yourself out over likes." Your voice cracks and you cough lightly into your fist, trying to play it off.
"Please don't cry." Win's eyes grow glassy as he leans closer to the phone. "I'm doing okay, I really -"
The line goes dead and you jolt forward, before you realize what happened. They only gave them so much time for their calls, likely because so many of them need to make them. You lay your head back against the headrest of your chair, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm your nerves. Cold tears trace patterns down your cheeks as you stare up to the ceiling.
He was so close, yet so far. You just hoped this would all pay off in the end.
Warning: reader worries about fitting in/being noticed by Minjae
Yechan was not known for being shy, quiet, or in any way introverted. He was an E and showed it proudly, making fast friends with anyone he met, cracking jokes and being overall receptive to everyone he spoke to. He was well known among everyone who knew him for being kind, gentle, funny, and thoughtful. He was slow to anger, but quick to justice.
It was no surprise, then, that everyone fell for him in some regard. Some literally fell in love, others felt protective - such as his members, who viewed him as a sweet younger brother. Yechan grew used to the affection and attention, although it never went to his head - yet another one of his many admirable traits.
You were the exact opposite of Yechan, in nearly every regard. You were abrasive, short-tempered, silent, and evasive to any signs of care from others. You didn't want it, and you sure as hell didn't need it. You were cautious and suspicious of anyone showing too much attention to you or your friends. No one suspected that you two could ever have been friends. Hell, people sometimes suspected you didn't really have any, just people you kept around for convenience.
They, however, would have been very wrong. You two had been friends for years, having met in middle school. Yechan had complimented your band shirt, which prompted a small smile (it was an obscure band and you hadn't become so walled-off yet). You'd gotten to talking about music, and before long, Yechan had essentially collected you into his friend group.
As time went on and you became more walled off, but Yechan collected more and more new friends, many of them began to ask him why he was friends with someone so... somber. Yechan would simply laugh, shaking his head.
"(Y/N)? Nah, they're super awesome! They're just not good with new people, is all!"
Most people simply nodded and moved on, highly unconvinced, but not willing to push the issue for fear of offending him. They would shrug it off as none of their business anyway, as long as they didn't have to be around you when you were in a negative mood - it scared most of them, if they were honest.
Those who weren't as surprised at Yechan's ability to collect even the most cold individuals (such as his members) began to wonder more and more to the exact nature of your relationship. On the surface, you seemed like friends - neither of you ever overstepped any boundaries but you were polite, shared your time, and were often seen laughing together when you felt alone enough to open up. However, that was only for those who looked simply at the obvious signs. Nosier members, like Minjae, Hunter, and Junmin, were VERY unconvinced.
Hunter and Junmin were subtle observers, likely to only make one-off, under-breath comments that most others didn't understand or didn't catch. Minjae, however, being the leader that he was, preferred to get as involved as he could. After all, if something could impact the group, he wanted to be aware of it as soon as possible. At least, that's what he told himself.
He noticed the ways in which you seemed to lean on Yechan in times of stress, both literally and figuratively - your fingers wrapping around his pointer finger, hidden between your legs hoping no one would notice. He saw the way your eyes would follow Yechan around the room, even though you wouldn't move, as though you were drawn to his very being. He was aware of the ways Yechan was always conscious of your moods and needs, as though he didn't need to be told.
Minjae thought he knew exactly what was happening under everyone's noses. The question now, for the short man, was whether he was going to let on what he knew, or if it would be more tactful to wait until a moment presented itself.
Minjae did enjoy a long game.
~~~~~~
Despite being a busy group of men, the boys tried to find time for themselves and their friends. They were young men, after all, and they enjoyed feeling normal on occasion.
Seeun's birthday was coming up, the boys had just finished a set of promotions, and they had just enough time to throw a party. Most of their respective friend groups were free to come, so they planned it for a Saturday night and enlisted the help of a few specific individuals to ensure the night went perfectly.
You were one of the people invited. Despite tending to be closed off, the boys knew they could count on you if they asked for help with something, so it didn't come as a surprise to you when Yechan reached out on Thursday and asked if you could help them set up the apartment.
You showed up on Saturday morning, birthday card in hand, knocking sharply before entering the apartment. You knew half of the boys would likely still be asleep anyway. As you slipped off your shoes, Jinsik peeked around the corner, gracing you with a wide smile and greeting, before he pointed into the kitchen, indicating where the others were all beginning to congregate.
You gave him a nod in thanks, slipped on your designated guest slippers, and padded into the kitchen where Yechan, Hunter, Yujun, and Junghoon were sitting around the island. The countertop between them was strewn with various party supplies - streamers and uninflated balloons and candles and christmas lights. Everything you could think of that could decorate or liven up a birthday, the boys had pulled from storage.
The boys hadn't started decorating yet - the smell wafting over from the stove meant that Hunter was in the process of cooking breakfast, a fact that caused your mouth to water. You sidled in between Junghoon and Yechan at the counter, placing your card onto the counter and giving a small upturn of your lips to the boys around you - a common half-smile greeting they became accustomed to. Junghoon shot a matching one back and a spark of comfort ran through you. Junghoon was the most similar to you when it came to others and, besides Yechan, was the best at understanding and respecting you.
The boys all shared a small greeting before continuing with their conversation.
"Listen, I know you think you do that move right, but you look like a drunk goose, I'm telling you, it's bad." Yujun put on a face of pure astonishment at the comment, grabbing his chest and letting out a puff of laugh.
"He's right, you've got all hips, no shoulders, it's very goose." Hunter chipped over his shoulder from where he was stirring something on a pan.
"Oh you're one to talk!" Yujun shot back, whipping around to face the Thai man. "You're always all hips, it's like you're trying to seduce all the fans. It's disgusting! No one wants to see that!"
"Roady seem to like it." Junghoon mumbled out, reaching to play with a strand of streamer.
Yujun twisted back so fast you thought he'd hurt himself to point a finger menacingly at Junghoon.
Yechan howled out laughter, his hand coming to rest on the very small of your back, hidden under the edge of the counter as he rocked backwards on his stool.
Your hand came to rest on his knee, worried he'd fall over, but you quickly removed it as Minjae and Jinsik entered the room. Minjae was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but sent a smile and wave your direction before checking on the food Hunter was making.
Hunter pushed a full plate in Minjae's direction, put the rest of the food onto the remaining plates and brought it over to the island.
The boys immediately began digging into the food placed before them, acting like they hadn't seen food in a week.
You had eaten before coming to the boys house, so you weren't hungry enough to dig in yourself, but you watched as the boys devoured the food on the island. Words of thanks and compliments for Hunter's cooking were mumbled around mouthfuls.
Yechan lifted up a piece of food with his chopsticks and pointed them in your direction, offering it up.
"This is so good, you have to try some!" When you saw his bright, wide smile, you couldn't deny him anything. "Ahhh!" He waited for you to open your mouth, feeding you the bite.
You lowered your eyes, turning away from Yechan to chew. He leaned around you.
"How is it?" He grinned as he saw your face. He could read how much you enjoyed the food, so he simply nodded and went back to eating himself.
Your eyes danced across the table and rested on Minjae, who was watching the interaction with a glint in his eye.
He knows. You thought to yourself. The realization made you flinch, and you quickly excused yourself to go to the bathroom while the others finished up the last of their food.
In the bathroom, you splashed some water on your face, fixed your hair and clothes, even though there wasn't anything out of place.
You took your time before coming out again. When you did, the boys had finished eating and Minjae and Junghoon were cleaning up the dishes. The rest of the boys had started in on the decorations, so you picked up a roll of streamers, scissors, and some tape, and moved into the living room to help.
You measured and cut pieces of streamer, twisting and taping it up onto the windowsills and walls in arching designs. You stepped up onto one of the chairs to get at a corner, one foot on the armrest, the other on the back, reaching up as high as you could go, as the ceilings were quite high for a Korean apartment.
As you reached up, you felt hands graze against your waist and you jumped, losing your footing and slipping backwards into the chest of the boy behind you. The hands on your waist tightened around your midsection, bracing you against his body as he steadied you both.
"You really should be more careful." Yechan whispered into your ear, breath brushing strands of hair against your cheek in a way that sent a shiver down your back.
"You should learn to announce yourself before you try to kill someone." You punched back, pulling yourself from his arms roughly with a glare over your shoulder. He simply shrugged and patted your head before moving back to the section he was working on before he interrupted you.
You placed a hand against your chest, taking a deep breath. You took a quick look around the room, worried you'd been caught in that embarrassing tumble, and again found Minjae, just a few steps away, smiling to himself as he took in your interactions.
You busied yourself with finishing your decorating job, telling yourself that he was just being nosy and was simply entertained by you falling. He didn't know. He couldn't know.
~~~~~~
Later that night, the party had been fully decorated, the guests had arrived, and the party was in full swing. Music was playing, groups of friends were piled around the tv playing games, food and drinks had been ordered and delivered and were now spread across the island in the kitchen.
Yechan leaned against the wall by the hallway to the bedrooms, watching Junmin lose miserably to Hyunwoo at Smash Bros, laughing as the man squealed at his character falling off the screen. He had a drink in his hand, which he sipped occasionally. Occasionally like how he would flick his eyes in your direction where you were sitting between Junghoon and Jinsik, showing them how to play your favorite card game. Jinsik threw his cards down as he lost for the millionth time, causing you and Junghoon to spread into matching small smiles.
Yechan loved watching you with his members, especially Junghoon who was so similar to you. He knew that his members could be loud and overly friendly, and sometimes that made you pull back into yourself, so seeing you with Jinsik and Junghoon, the quiet gentle members, he felt that you had found a home inside his little family.
He felt someone step into the space beside him and glanced over to see Minjae, also holding a drink, looking around at the crowd before them.
"Today turned out really good." Minjae nodded over at Seeun who was laughing with a group of his hometown friends. "It looks like everyone is having a good time."
That wasn't an odd thing for Minjae to say, in Yechan's eyes. Minjae was always acting as leader, making sure that people were happy and taken care of, trying to ensure everything went as smoothly as possible. Yechan nodded at the sentiment, smiling at the man beside him.
"(Y/N) seems to be having a good time." At that, Yechan glanced over at Minjae with a raised eyebrow. Minjae finally returned eye contact, a small cheeky smile spreading across his lips. "I know how much (Y/N) matters to you."
Minjae reached up to whisper in Yechan's ear at the same time you finally allowed yourself to steal a glance of him. You locked up, watching how Minjae covered his mouth with his free hand, blocking your view. The look that sparkled in his eye made it hard to look away, worried about what it was he could possibly be saying. After all the looks and moments where it seemed Minjae was conscious of you today, you were sure that he was talking about you and Yechan, but it was what he could be saying that made your heart pound.
Yechan's lips curled up, his face softened, and his eyes danced over in your direction, a gentleness there that you were more than used to. Your body relaxed as you read the look in his eyes, seeming to tell you that it was all okay. That he was there.
Minjae pulled away, patting Yechan's shoulder once before walking through the hallway towards the bathroom and bedrooms, not even shooting a glance your way. Yechan lifted a finger, crooking it at you subtly behind his cup, so only you would see (or anyone else truly watching him, which no one was).
You quietly excused yourself from the card table, Jinsik begging Junghoon to let him play literally any other game, hoping for a better chance to win. You skirted the edge of the room, trying to be as unobtrusive in your venture as possible, already feeling as though all eyes were glued to you and Yechan.
When you reached his side, you felt exposed in the room, despite being in a far corner. Being near Yechan had that effect on you these days, as though his radiance attracted all attention to anyone within a 5-foot radius of him. He leaned down as inconspicuously as possible, as though he was going to take a sip of his drink.
"Minjae approves." You looked at him with eyebrows furrowed, not really sure what to make of the sentence. Yechan continued with a shit-eating grin you'd grown so used to. "He said if we want to ever tell the boys that he'd be on our side. But if we didn't, he'd help us keep it secret. I think he likes you."
You felt a jolt of shock and relief flutter through your system, knees weakening slightly at the realization that you were accepted into the fold, truly. You put on this air of not giving a fuck, a stand-off no-nonsense person, but deep inside you were more scared than anything. The walls and glares and attitude had all been to protect yourself and others from ridicule, from being used or walked all over, but if you were being honest, it left you feeling lonely more often than not. Eventually, it became so much a part of you that you couldn't imagine being any other way - it was just who you were.
Then Yechan had come into the picture all those years ago and showed you a different way, but you still couldn't truly kick the habit. Yechan, however, didn't need you to, never asked it of you. He became the bright to your cloudy, the bubbly to your gloomy, and you had found that together you'd built something only you two understood. About two years ago, you had first realized how much you felt for him, and he had done the same, making the first move into this new kind of relationship. You had been exclusively dating for a year and change, by the time of the party, but the others hadn't ever found out - until now.
You glanced around the party and the people who had become your safe space, who had accepted you and all your weirdness right into their admittedly weirder circle. Deep down you knew that this was the place you wanted to spend the rest of your days: beside Yechan, watching your friends bicker and fight and laugh and cry.
You turned to face Yechan then, ready to face it together.
"Maybe it's time they know." You whispered up at the sweet boy before you.
He grinned down at you with that easy, boyish smile that you loved so much.
"So I'm finally allowed to do this?" He stepped forward that last inch, brought up his free hand to cup the back of your head, and finally pressed a kiss to your lips on full display to the world around you.
No more hiding, no more running, no more walls. With Yechan, you could finally be free.
Gaku couldn't believe it. Well, he could but he didn't want to. Two years later and again, he was left abandoned, left behind, considered less than his friends.
That wasn't to say he wasn't happy for them. He knew better than anyone how hard Hikaru worked; how many hours, how much energy, how many tears and sweaty late nights, how many bruises - physical and emotional. For a moment, he had even forgotten about himself as Hikaru's name was called. His eyes had filled, body drooped in relief, reaching for his longest friend, the one who knew him best. He had held him on that stage and was filled with genuine joy and pride. Hikaru deserved this.
But the moment Hikaru had stepped up onto that platform, marking him as a debut member of aoen, the tears in his eyes changed, his heart squeezed, his breathing grew tight in that oh-so-familiar way. He had tried to will them away, tried not to listen to that evil little voice in his brain, shouting at him mean, terrible things. That he was never going to debut, all these years of work were for nothing, that he'd never be more than a trainee and a TikTok dancer, even going as far as mean things about his friends who had debuted. what did they all have that he didn't?
He knew it was wrong; he tried to drown it out because the fight wasn't over! Two more spots were open for fan voting. He knew he had the most fans of the others standing on the stage - &audition had given him one leg up.
But even that thought was overshadowed by the way his friends looked up on those pedestals. Spotlights illluminated them, raised up above the rest, his resentment, frustration, anger all rose up like a tidal wave threatening to crush him.
So when the filming ended and they were sent home, he didn't follow the others back home to the dorms, despite feeling drained beyond reason.
He needed to see you. You were the only one who would know exactly what to do to fix this inner turmoil twisting him into knots. You were the only one who could help him sleep tonight. So without a second of hesitation, he said goodbye to his members and caught the next bus to your apartment.
Hikaru had known as soon as Gaku took off where he was heading, so he had given you a call to warn you about the visit. He wasnāt sure if he should tell you everything, but he also didnāt want Gaku to have to share again the bad news, so he gave you a quick recap of what had happened in the past few hours. When a knock resounded from your door, you were quick to answer it, throwing the door open to take Gaku into your arms.
He sunk down into your hold, his face pressed into your shoulder, arms tightening around your waist as though he was holding himself together through the touch. You had a feeling he likely felt the same way. You stayed that way for a while, running your fingers through his hair, running your hands down his back, feeling his breath fanning against your neck. Each breath he took was shaky and stuttering, his fingers shook as they tightened around your shirt.
Finally, you pulled his through the door, pushing it closed and guiding him into your room, settling him down to sit on the edge of your bed. He watched you with wide, glassy eyes. You turned, aiming to grab him a change of clothes, but his hand snatched out for your own. You saw the way his eyes softened and welled up, and you stepped back in front of him, allowing him to lean into you yet again, pressing his face into your stomach.
āYou did amazing as always, Gaku. Those judges donāt know anything. Everyone else knows the truth - that you were the best performer in that whole selection.ā You could feel him begin to cry into your shirt, his shoulders shaking under your hands as his fingers tightened, nearly piercing through the fabric. āYouāre kind, strong, dedicated, talented. You are so caring; you work to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy. You worry so much about other people, you sometimes forget to take care of yourself. You throw your whole body into everything you do. Youāre such a beautiful, lovely human being. If others canāt see that, then theyāre missing out. You make my world so much brighter, I would be lost without you. You have so many fans waiting and cheering you on. All this effort wonāt be in vain.ā
He pulled away to look up at you, eyes red and puffy, tear stains streaking down his face. His lips tilted up as he swept his gaze over you. He whispered out in a broken, rough voice, strong in conviction but strained with emotion, āI love you.ā
You reached a hand to cup against his cheek, swiping away a stray tear. Whispering back, āI love youā as you pressed a kiss against his forehead. At that, he let you step away, his eyes tracing after you as you grabbed him a change of clothes from the drawer of his things he left at your place. He was over so often, it made sense to you both to keep some belongings so he didnāt have to carry such a big bag every time.
You handed him his clothes, kissing him again on the forehead, before beginning to set up the room for rest, allowing him space to get changed. When he was done, he came up behind you as you fixed a pillow, wrapping his arms around you and placing his chin on your shoulder.
āI was mean today.ā His voice was gentle, tentative, as though he was afraid to voice it aloud. āI thought horrible things about my friends. About the people I care for. I was jealous and vindictive in the ways I thought about them. Does that make me a bad person? I wanted to be picked for this group so bad - I wanted to be accepted so bad that I was willing to judge my friends.ā
You spun around in his arms, wrapping your arms around his waist as well, holding onto each other. Gaku rests his forehead against your own, wanting to be as close to you as youād allow.
āYou are not a bad person, Gaku. You were hurt, and you were sad, and you were jealous. Do you feel bad about the things you thought? Do you feel ashamed when you think about that moment?ā
Gakuās eyes closed, squeezing shut. He nodded, opening them to show you the drowning depths of brown that melted your very heart. āYeah. Yeah, I feel ashamed.ā
āThen youāre not a bad person. You care enough to realize when youāve gone too far. I know youāll continue to show your friends every ounce of love and support you have for them, because thatās the kind of man you are.ā
He smiled down at you, leaning in to share a kiss with you, his hand cradling your cheek. āThank you.ā He whispered against your lips, sharing another smile and kiss with you, before pulling away, getting ready for bed.
~~~~
A week later, confirmation came to the both of you that Gaku had officially made it into aoen along with his friends. You went out to celebrate as a group, saddened for those who hadnāt made it, but glad that those who had achieved their dreams - or at least were on their way to them.
You had known Jisung for years, and you thought that you had your relationship with him all figured out. You could always tell when he was happy or sad or stressed, when he was hungry or tired or just needed a hug. He could tell the same about you, and always knew exactly how to help in every situation. You were each other's person - the one that you could always go to with anything and the one you could never live without. You knew that you both liked each other as a little more than friends, but you also knew that neither of you were ready to make any kind of step out of friendship, so you stayed comfortably within the walls of your carefully constructed relationship.
Of course, nothing was ever as simple as it seemed on the surface. Despite how much you thought you knew what went on in Jisung's mind, you could never know the things he didn't show you - the parts of him he didn't share, whether from fear or self-consciousness or from something else entirely. The only way you could know those things were if he told you.
Or, if someone else told you. For example, Jaemin.
Jaemin didn't like to meddle most of the time, but he had noticed something about Jisung that you hadn't, and he felt it was his duty to inform you of the new development.
After hearing about this new side of Jisung's feelings, you mused on it a few days. You analyzed every interaction, even as you tried to continue acting like nothing had changed. You thought about every move you made, every response it garnered, every look and touch and sound and flickering emotion within his eyes, and you realized quickly that Jaemin had been very correct in his observation.
So you knew exactly what you had to do. You did nothing at first. You acted as though nothing had changed, continued treating him exactly as you always had. Until finally, the time had come.
One day, you had been hanging with the group - going to the mall, watching a movie, getting dinner. The rest of the group was ready to go home, but you weren't. So instead of accepting Jaemin's offer for a ride home, you invited Jisung to walk you home. It wasn't far, maybe 15 minutes with a cut through the park. Jisung, as expected, jumped at the opportunity and the rest of the boys leave you.
As you walked together, you thought about how exactly you wanted to proceed - whether now was the time to finally make that next step in your relationship with Jisung or not. The few minutes to the park was quick, filled with you and Jisung chatting casually about every little random thing that popped into your heads. As you reached the park, you hesitated. After making it through the park, you'd only have about two minutes before you reached your apartment building. It felt too short, like time was running out with each step.
You subtly began walking slower and slower, hoping that you could prolong the time you spent with him. He seemed to have the same thought, easily matching your slowing pace without much coaxing, as though he also wanted to drag out this walk as long as possible. Each bench you passed, each couple sitting on picnic blankets, every picnic table - hell, every interesting looking tree root - made you think for a second about asking Jisung to sit with you, spending just that much longer talking. You wished that you could make the moment drag forever.
Finally, the edge of the park came into view and you knew that your time is almost up. That soon, you'd be at your apartment and you'd have to go inside and leave Jisung to go home alone and you'd be alone, just thinking about all the time you didn't spend with him.
As you finally reached your apartment, you did pause, turning to face the boy beside you, who looked as though you going inside is the same as you getting onto a flight and leave forever. Seeing that look in his eyes, the way he seemed to long just to be near you, you made a final decision. Without hesitating, you took it.
You reached up onto your toes, one hand coming up to rest against his cheek and gently guide his head down so that your lips met his. He froze, pausing for a moment as though time for him stood still, before finally one of his hands moved to rest against your own, fingers cold against yours. He kissed you back slowly, gently.
As you pulled away, his hand tightened on yours, grasping at your fingers like you would vanish into thin air if he let you get too far.
"Jisung." You whispered his name into the slowly darkening dusk, and his eyes flittered open to meet your own. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
He nodded, a smile spreading along his lips.
You kissed his cheek, before turning towards your door, your hand slipping from his as you quickly walked to your apartment. You had spent that whole walk dreading getting home, but now, you couldn't wait to get into your bed and rest, because you knew that tomorrow you would see him again, and you'd finally start that new chapter that you both had been dreaming about for a long time.
Warnings: sparring/staged sword play, controlled institutions of juveniles (?)
Living your life in a single place is a type of hell no one tells you about. You had spent 20 some-odd years living within the walls of The Institution; learning, training, preparing for god knows what. The teachers all said the same thing - "It's for your own good." "You'll understand when you're older." But you had gotten older. You had grown and trained and listened and learned and yet you never truly LEARNED. Not about the things that mattered. Not about your parents or your family or why you were stuck doing these horrible things. You had never seen outside, didn't even know what outside WAS. You had heard stories - anywhere there are children, there are stories.
Some of the kids you met told you that outside was a hellscape. That to be trapped here was paradise in comparison to the monstrosities that are happening outside of the safe walls of The Institution. That the institution had kept you all safe from the things that meant to rip you apart outside. Others said that The Institution was the real monster, keeping you all trapped as some kind of sick twisted test. A scientific experiment to learn to make the best killing machines. Lord knew that you had all grown to be killing machines.
Almost 4 hours a day were spent learning to fight - some in hand-to-hand combat, others with swords, others with staffs. No child was defenseless for more than a day in The Institution. It was learn or be crushed under the weight of all the others.
Not everyone was a killing machine though. You had to take back that idea quickly when you thought of the boy who sat in front of you in your history class. He was a quiet boy, tall and thin and extremely beautiful despite the plain uniforms and harsh white lights of the projector screen. He was gentle at heart, a kind soul that felt out of place in a building like this. And yet, he COULD fight. You had seen that for sure; he could never be described as helpless.
You had seen him in the ring - he was ruthless with a staff, could take down three opponents in seconds without breaking a sweat. He was their prized pupil. You had seen the way the teachers whispered when he completed an assignment, answered a question, beat someone in the ring. They came as close to gushing over him as you had ever seen; they never praised any of the other students, even when they did just as well.
You knew that he was different; it was why you had kept such a close eye on him for years. If anything was going to be different about The Institution, you wanted to know about it. Better to be aware and find your chance to find out about the outside than to miss the chance to escape. Little did you know that escaping would be much closer than you thought. And you'd get much closer with the boy than you ever imagined.
~~~~~
Today was finally your chance to have an interaction with strange, beautiful boy before you. No one went by their names here, but rather were given numbers, and he was known as 1015. You hadn't been able to get close to him in any way - kept apart in classes, not being put together in the ring, all meals were given in your rooms rather than in a group setting.
But finally - FINALLY - you had your chance. It was your chance to spar against the boy. Standing in line on your half of the ring, you noticed that the next person on the other side was the young man, who was also looking at you. Unlike the dead stare that everyone else sported (probably due to the amounts of those weird blue pills they feed you a day), his eyes met yours with something hidden within their depths.
Your eyebrows furrow at him, trying to gauge what you're seeing without letting on that you know something is wrong. The last thing you need is for the teachers to be looking too closely at you, just as you're getting close to finding out the truth. At your confusion, 1015's lips curl up into a grin, nearly unnoticeable if you hadn't been watching his face so intensely. Your eyes widened and before you could do anything else, the pair in the ring before you finished, the young girl standing above the boy with her sword pointed at his throat. His sword was laying a handspan away, just out of reach that if he were to go for it, she would kill him easily.
The teacher calls the end of the round and they both walk away, the boy looking slightly fearful. All the students knew what a failed fight meant, especially one that drastic. He would be having a hard time for a while before you saw him again out in the ring.
You take a deep breath and step into the ring, your sword in your hands. You raise it, straightening your shoulders, rolling your neck out slightly, making sure you're in perfect form before the beginning of the round. You couldn't let him win this round by throwing you off your game. You had to pretend nothing had happened.
1015 stood before you with the same process, settling himself into the starting stance, that stupid secret grin still gracing his face. You narrowed your eyes, waiting for the starting ring with the feeling of a coiled spring. When the teacher finally rings the bell, you spring forward with a jab, hoping to catch him quickly with your sword. Instead, he bats it away seamlessly, not even moving his feet to protect himself. As he goes to redirect your sword, you follow along, sweeping in with your leg, hoping to catch him off guard. Instead, he dances back, swirling his sword, which still controls yours, flinging it into an unnatural angle. At a shooting pain in your wrist, your sword flies from your hand. 1015 kicks out his leg, which you dodge, effectively separating yourself from the boy, but also now giving him the space to hold his sword out to your face. You spot your sword behind the boy, shining silver against the black floor, far enough that you couldn't find a way to get around the boy before you without taking a sword to some vital body part.
You scowl at the boy before you, who has his head tilted to the side, that odd look in his eyes again. Before the teachers called the end of the round, 1015 turned his back to the teachers, turning to allow you a better shot at your sword. Before you could move, you notice him mouthing something to you. You look closer and hear him whisper quietly, "I'm Heeseung. Let's talk soon."
Then, without so much as a blink, he lunges forward, smacking you hard across the shoulder with the practice sword, driving you to your knees, grabbing your shoulder and crying out in pain.
The teachers call the end of the round, and therefore the end of the sparring section of training today. Heeseung, as he called himself, walked off without another look back at you. You sighed, getting up and walking to your discarded weapon. You knew there would be hell to pay for losing the fight so zealously, going after him so aggressively from the beginning before gauging him as an opponent. For now, all you could think about, however, was the way Heeseung had looked at you.
So he knew that you were also disillusioned to their powers. But how did he manage to get out of their grasp? And what did he know? Your first interaction with the boy that all of the teachers idolized and yet you were left with more questions than answers. He truly was a conundrum. You'd just have to do more research on him.
Cold Hands ~ You love your new job, but you think you might be starting to love a certain leader even more. Especially when he only has eyes for you.
Junmin
Nothing Yet
Sumin
Nothing Yet
Jinsik
Nothing Yet
Hyunwoo
Nothing Yet
Junghoon
Nothing Yet
Seeun
Sleepy Babbles ~ Reader has a tough day at school and work and can't wait to come home to their loving boyfriend. Things don't go exactly to plan, but it's almost better than they expected.
Yujun
Nothing Yet
Hunter
Nothing Yet
Yechan
Bright and Cloudy ~ Minjae has begun to suspect there's something going on between Yechan and reader. At Seeun's birthday party, he decides to share his suspicions.
Warning: reader has a bad day but it gets better so idk?, none really... if I'm missing something, lmk <3
Seeun was your comfort place. Seeing as he was your best friend for the past eight years and your boyfriend for the most recent two of those, no one found that fact particularly spectacular. It was pretty expected - and he'd be lying if he said your face wasn't the very thing he wanted to see as he fell asleep and right when he woke up. You were also lucky enough that, despite his playful and often sassy nature, he wasn't afraid to tell you (and anyone who would listen) just how much you meant to him.
On days like today, you needed that reminder more than usual. It seemed like no matter what you did, where you went, you were being followed by some evil spirit or dark cloud - something wanted to ruin your day. It had started simple, mundane, but accumulated into a stinking, rotten, stressful day that left you hoping for its end.
First, your alarm didn't go off; you knew you set it, you always set it, but today it simply didn't go off. This meant you were running behind and didn't have time to grab breakfast. Thankfully you made it on time to your class, so you were willing to let your hungry stomach go until lunch time. As you slid into your seat, you realized today was test day - the day you needed to bring your cheat sheet the professor provided. The one sitting squarely on your desk in the dorm. Needless to say, you finished the test, but you weren't looking forward to seeing your grade. Your next class was boring, but uneventful. As was lunch, which was also lonely - usually you brought food to the boys so you could all remember to eat, but they had a schedule today that meant you were stuck eating all by yourself in the crowded school cafeteria. No one to laugh with or poke fun at or make stupid bets with, just you, your empty table, and your plate of mediocre school food.
After lunch, you had work, which was never an easy thing, working in a customer service job. The worst part was always the times total Karen's came in and made your life hell - like today, when you were berated for a full three minutes in front of a line of other customers. Your boss finally came to check the commotion - only to scold you for the situation rather than helping. After your otherwise uneventful workday, you boarded your usual bus to the dorms, ready to see your sweet boyfriend and his stupid friends.
Your first stroke of luck that day meant you could enjoy your short bus ride home without any real issues. It was blissfully unremarkable.
Hiking your bag higher on your shoulder, you type in the password to Seeun's dorm door, pushing it open as it beeps. You pause with the door partway open, calling in a "I'm coming in, be decent" to warn the boys before opening it fully. You step inside, kick off your shoes, slip into your designated slippers, and pad your way slowly into the apartment.
Being an apartment full of barely grown men, it's usually a total pigsty - the cleaning efforts always outdone by long schedule hours and pure laziness. Today is a surprising exception - besides a few misplaced pillows, the dorm is clean as a whistle. You can't remember the last time you saw it like this.
After a second of appreciating the cleanliness, you notice something else - it's quiet. No yelling from the bedrooms, no clattering cookware from the kitchen, not even a hint of TV chatter. Utter silence.
You braced yourself for yet another disappointment today - Seeun was always good about keeping you informed of their schedules, but sometimes things ran late or they were given a surprise schedule they didn't know about. You never blamed him; surprises came with the territory as an idol. But you couldn't help but deflate a little at the prospect. You had gone through such a terrible day and just wanted to relax with your loving boyfriend.
Well, if you can't have your boyfriend, you could have the next best thing - you figure - his hoodie and his bed. You shuffle your way to his room, ready to settle in for a restful night. You know you'll at least get to start tomorrow with his arms around you.
As you push open the door, you're greeted with a most adorable sight, which instantly eases the tension from your muscles and settles your brain into a whisper of internal words of love.
Seeun is in fact home at the dorm - you suspect that he must have tried to plan something to make you feel better. All the pieces click as you look at your boyfriend who is sprawled across his bed, everyday clothes still on, laying across the top of the blankets with his head just barely missing the pillows. He must have fallen asleep waiting for you in the (for once) quiet apartment. You think that he likely asked the boys to be gone for part of the night so you could start your evening in blissful silence - just you and him, no worries.
Your heart swells at the thought - knowing it was just like him to do something so simple and yet so loving. You gently settle your bag down on the floor besides his door, which you very slowly ease shut, holding the knob tightly so even the click wouldn't wake him. You know he isn't a terribly light sleeper, but you wanted him to sleep well regardless.
You continue on your trek to steal some of his clothes to sleep in, knowing they were (for some reason) a million times more comfortable than your own. You quickly change, pausing only once (just after slipping on one of his shirts) when he began mumbling in his sleep. You couldn't hear what he said, and you didn't think much of it.
You had heard him talk in his sleep a million times. You sometimes wondered if you (or anyone, really) talked that much in their sleep. He would talk about any number of things - usually whatever had been on his mind when he went to bed, but sometimes completely random things. Sometimes it was concert related, when they were preparing for tour, or about the boys, if they'd done something particularly fun for content or had an especially difficult day at practice. Once it had been him talking in baby-animal voice because you had gone on a date to a zoo that included a small petting zoo, which had been his favorite part of the whole trip.
You assumed this time was no different, just him rambling about his day in his dreams, and finished preparing for bed. Once you were ready, you approached his side of the bed first, determined to help him under the covers so he would be at least a little more comfortable. Sure, sleeping in your day clothes wasn't the best, and he would likely be annoyed about getting his sheets dirty with them, but you had the day off tomorrow and would be willing to throw them in the wash as long as he was able to get a good night's rest for the first time in a while.
Just as you went to pull the comforter back, he spoke again, but this time much clearer, especially since you were standing so close to him now. The boys often made fun of how clearly he spoke in his sleep, but you enjoyed the insight into his brain.
Today, you were flattered almost to tears at just the first sentence - so much so, you completely froze, allowing him time to ramble off a few more of a similar vein. They were all about how much he loved you. You listened as he talked about how he had fallen in love with you from the first time he heard you laugh. How being close to you made him feel like he was on top of the moon. How being away on tour was like hell on Earth, but his first step back into the apartment and into your arms was like being pulled back up into sunlight after drowning in darkness.
The rough day you had seemed to make you more emotional, because you felt tears trace down your cheeks and you quickly swiped them away. You smiled to yourself as you finally reached out to try to pull the blankets out from under and over top of your slumbering boyfriend.
As much as you tried to be careful and not rouse him, your plan didn't work, and his eyes opened to look at you, fluttering and half focused before they zeroed in.
"(Y/n), baby, why are you crying?" He sits up, reaching forward to cup your face and thumb away the tear tracks you missed.
"You were talking in your sleep." You answer honestly. You had never been anything but honest with Seeun, and he had always been the same, even about small useless things. "You were talking about how much you loved me. And it was a tough day, so you made me really happy, even without trying."
Seeun's face cracks into a sleepy smile as he listens to you explain, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your lips. "Well, I'm not sure what I said, but I do love you, very much." He kisses you again, before looking down at your clothes, and then his own. "Hmm, I was going to make us dinner, but clearly we're both much more tired than we are hungry, huh?"
You nod, thinking that nothing sounded better than curling into bed with him.
"Let me just get changed into something more comfortable and we can watch that next episode of that show you like." Now, it's your turn to kiss him brightly, wishing to express all your happiness to have him in your life with one simple motion.
Judging from the smile on both your faces, you expressed it loud and clear.
CW: mentions of autism, mentions of being non-verbal/overstimulated
K:
K is an interesting character himself, where he doesnāt fall perfectly into one kind of personality. K fluctuates between being really chill and being really hyperactive ā it all depends on the people around him. He can be whatever you need or want for him at any given moment, so when you come home dragging yourself through the door, he knows that itās been a rough day. He might ask you if you want to talk about what happened, but when he only gets a small shake of your head and no other real acknowledgment, he simply allows you to wander into the bedroom. Heāll quietly work to make your situation as comfortable as possible, while trying to be as unnoticeable as he can. Heāll turn the lights down low, bring you your favorite comfort drink, make sure the temperature is set to your favorite setting, ensuring you have enough blankets/pillows/food. Heāll stay out of your way unless you show some indication that you want him there with you, because heās afraid of being more stimulating for you.
Fuma:
Fuma is a quiet man, and heās a very low maintenance significant other. He would not be the kind to need to be with you every moment, or need your attention when youāre together ā as long as youāre both enjoying your time, heās happy. This overflows into taking care of you when youāre in an overstimulated mood. Heās a low-speaking individual in his own way, so youāve both learned non-verbal ways to ask if each other is okay and what you need, so he doesnāt even need to ask when he sees you. He grabs your favorite of his pokemon plushies, your most comfortable blankets, sets up what is essentially a nest on the living room couch, turns off the lights, and puts on your comfort show on really low. Heāll just point at the nest, staring at you until you finally give in, nuzzling deeper into the warmth. Heāll curl up opposite you, his own blanket and pokemon plushy tucking him into his own spot while he plays his switch, occasionally glancing over to try to gauge what you need from him without bothering you.
EJ:
EJ is going to be one of the most anxious about this, especially if itās the first time heās seen you in this situation. He might be one of the hardest to deal with, only because he will CONSTANTLY be asking questions about what he can do for you, what you need, if youāre feeling okay, what happened, if you want to talk about it, if you want to do something to get over it, etc etc etc. Heās a worry-wart, he will be a ball of anxiety until he knows youāre okay, but you going non-verbal makes that nearly impossible to confirm. He will likely make your situation worse while trying to help, but if you have a conversation with him about what you need before you get to the point of non-verbal, he can help you with only minimal stressing.
Nicho:
Nicho is another ācharacterā of the group ā heās really hard to read for this situation because I think that he could be either really good and read you well enough to get you what you need and be able to manage your needs, but I also can see him being similar to EJ and stressing about if youāll be okay and pushing you to tell him what you need and what to do if he thinks youāre just holding out because youāre emotional (like he doesnāt realize itās a ātism non-verbal moment, but thinks itās a cold-shoulder moment). Heās another one where if you tell him ahead of time what signs to look for and how to help you, heāll be able to help you better, but you will need to have a conversation with him ahead of time so he can prepare mentally.
Yuma:
Yuma is actually surprisingly good at dealing with a non-verbal significant other because heās another person who pays attention to those around him. He often keeps an eye out for members like Jo and Harua, so he can tell when they need a moment, which he transfers over to you. I think he might struggling without being able to ask you specifically what you want ā heās one of those ādo you want x or xā of two of your favorites or go-to choices, so not being able to ask you would be hard for him, because he really really wants to get it right. Once heād experienced this with you a few times, heās likely to set up a system with you ā he makes flashcards of your favorites of things and heāll simply show you two cards, and youāll either hold up that number of fingers or point to what you want so you donāt have to deal with the stimulation of hearing or speaking, you just need to quickly process, before youāre able to fully relax as he gets you all settled in. Heās also set up (mostly as a joke, but youāve used it a few times) that if you flip him off, it means you need him to just leave you to your own devices, and heāll disappear into another room and stay as quiet as he can be until you come looking for him again.
Jo:
Jo is a lot like Fuma in that heās a low maintenance significant other and very quiet. He might not even notice at first that youāve gone non-verbal because itās so often that neither of you will talk when seeing each other ā you greet each other with a hug, heāll kiss the top of your head, and then youāll go on to do whatever youāre doing. He wouldnāt notice you were non-verbal and overstimulated until he goes to show you a video that he thinks youāll like and all you can muster is a small smile and a nod at him. Or when he realizes that itās an hour past dinner time and you havenāt come wander over to him to beg him to help you either order food or cook something. Dinner time was your time together, so that would spark a moment of panic. He isnāt a very verbal partner though, so as long as you were comfortable and were able to somehow communicate if/when you need something from him, he would be totally fine with you in these moments. Heās gone non-verbal enough times that he feels itās only fair you get to as well.
Harua:
Harua is anxiety boy pt 3 ā he is worried literally the moment he sees you wander into the apartment. He, however, is not a multiple-question boy, he might ask you a few, but when you donāt answer them, heās going to message the boys and ask what he should do. He honestly probably thinks youāre mad at himā¦ when youāre finally feeling better, youāll have to reassure him, especially after the first time he experiences this situation with you. The boys will give him good advice (mostly K and maybe the occasional one from Fuma or Nicho) and heāll be able to take care of you well enough, but again, youāll have to help reassure him that you werenāt mad at him and that he did nothing wrong and that he helped you.
Taki:
Taki is a menace on most days. Taki, however, is also really good at knowing when to control his energy because heās so aware of how others around him are perceiving him. He just wants people to like him, so while when you first arrive home he will be all over the place and a lot, he will quickly read that youāre annoyed or bothered by his energy and heāll tone it down. You can see that heās still vibrating with energy, even though heās holding it back, so if that bothers you, it might be hard to have him in the same space as you when youāre in this mode. If you need him to leave and go mess around with the other boys, he will leave, but heāll be very worried the whole time and will likely ask you a million times if youāre sure you wonāt need him there with you. He wants to help, but he doesnāt know how, and I can definitely see him making it all worse, so you will definitely need to hold a conversation with him about this when youāre in a better place so that he knows what to expect and how to either help or (at least) not make it worse.
Maki:
Our other āoh god, he would make it worseā boy ā heās still so young, and heās still so energetic like Taki, so I can see him thinking that heās helping by ādoing his own thingā watching YouTube or Tik Tok videos with his headphones on at the other end of the room, but I can also see him turning over with a āsorry, but you HAVE to see thisā literally every 5 minutes, which effectively ruins the point of even having his headphones in, because heās showing you every video, asking you what you think, ranting about something he just heard or saw. He wouldnāt realize that he was being a problem either, not until you finally snapped and threw something at him. After that, he would run off to another room, apologizing a million times. When you finally were feeling better, he would ask you what you needed, how he could be the most effective/most empathetic partner in these situations, and what the signs were so that he didnāt misread another moment. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel worse when you were already feeling so low.
