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@stay4float
5 more to go since the countdown was to just DO STEP ONE. Whatever pops up [on tech] goes out.SmarterThanTrauma™©SMART E MC
This is YOUTUBE & connecting to the things I’m speaking about now. You can go there & figure it out. THANKS!
This is the site for TAKASHI MURAKAMI & that’s LARRY LABIAK.
DAY ONE : fear (I’m going to see how far I can count until...)
I remember the exact moment I had true fear for the first time in a very long time. The last time was over 3 decades ago. I was a child so my thinking, sense of self & ability to process was different & now add life experience since at every turn TO KNOW, I’VE CHOSEN (not always, but indirectly, it happens) TO KNOW & you’d RATHER KNOW TRUTH no matter how grisly it is.
& grisly it gets.
The topics I will be writing about are, but not limited to, academic discrimination, community equity, stigma/abuse against disability
Thank you Neppy for teaching me more than the doctors who had no interest in (a) care (b) truth (c) knowledge (d) acceptance that all you have to do is "say ...
PICTURES I WANT TO SAVE as I get ready to share on NEXT DOOR which is MY NAME with MY HOOD. Just controlling my adrenaline since sharing this publicly isn’t what I was hoping for since it’s traumatic having to reLIVE, but it’s also the only thing I know that will absolutely works in ending PTSD. You have to wake up every day & be GRATEFUL for whatever happened because you like yourself. I think that’s the issue with some of these people who risked it all--no self-love--since you would’t purposely BLOW UP YOUR OWN LIFE, right? (the trick is, they don’t think s/v will actually talk... that’s the “I know more about you than you know about yourself”)
#youTube if you want to understand sound/sight word connection. These are words you can’t phonetically spell.
Whatever. I don’t teach anymore & yet, I can’t “move on” #anxietysobriety until I get thru my third & final curriculum ✔️ Your #anxiety isn’t my problem & I’m sure YOU’LL BOTH DELUDE yourselves by calling me—that’s the point. You want to have that convo, I record it/broadcast it & ur going to answer my questions so just leave me & #Neptune alobe because I don’t accept “confusion” & 6 years of listening to..
It’s a tag team. The ORIGIN to understanding teacher & parents & admin making decisions for whatever’s easiest in a very academic & rigorous public school. Access to the curriculum ✔️ is nEXt.
DAY THREE
You realize that you can’t have a divorce until you answer some questions truthfully.
This is where it started. It doesn’t matter which holes ptsd drops into. They are all the same. ONE GIANT HOLE.
I am getting rid of these pictures & you can sort through it, but the issue is THE COFFEE CHATS WERE NOW MOVED TO THE CAFETERIA but took ya long enough so I can see when I took that photo now that I know “to look for it.” I am not doing any additional workbecuase my body can’t take it. So going to figure out what it can handle & it’s not much right now hence the decision to do this. Tech is still a huge ordeal & never accurate.
(((Right SIDE))) so if in caps, that means needed “to stretch’ finger since I fond that “feels good” then there’s the ((( which means more means more pain since it “feel good” to do repetitive motion & why is that? NERVES LIKE TO GLIDe.
When I was finally told the right information, I learned to apply it & it made all this energy in my body turn into voice since I already lost it voice. At the very least, it’s recorded somewhere now.
DAY ONE was NAME so it was discussed at LENGTH. You get one & while I have an acute headache & acute pain in two places on right side upper & one place lower, it’s not worth figuring out how to EDIT/HIDE & then RESAVE & then upload. f it. I can find the date & why this is over. The POOR were treated by kindness by religion & the reminder is, you’re being watched. Are you sure you want to do that. I lost my voice so someone forgot that & I gave some sort of validation that allowed them to do MORE. Like admin without a consequence. They are allowed to do whatever they please & why am I feeing sick over it. Physically? Since I have nerve damage & my neurologist prefers me on a narcotic so I disagree. I prefer a nerve pain Rx, but right now, going to focus on cancer. We are done.
DAY TWO
So just read every third one?
Excuse me.
You just said the volume of words is the stress so don’t read everything you write.
OBJECTIVE OF ANY GROUP MEETING TO TALK ABOUT PATIENTS : to find a solution except when the objective is to OPPRESS.
“How can I put a problem before you without seeming like I'm heartless.”
“Too late.”
“You don’t even know what it is.”
“Your word, not mine.”
(The voices of PTSD are the most lingering although I am immediately transported by smell, too. People carry scent on them. The memory of who they are is beyond unreal).
DAY ONE
let’s weaponize & strategize for WAR. That means you’re on my side or theirs. You have 146 days to decide & it goes by in 3-5 seconds. TIME IS ABSTRACT so make the most of “the moment” & be with me.
FREE of judgement & bias. It’s to see people for who they really are. Trust me. We’re going to blitz them hard.
.... Naw... I’m busy. No one responds to me on #TWITTER @endPTSD because no answer to #INSANEGREED : better to give & #WORK & why?!?! Gee... it means u earned it. Educational #discrimination & #HATE loud & clear w kids that really can’t (f)unction without (F)un & drugs #alcohol & #HOT #WOMEN... so no. I’ll teach u want consent is. Capiche ?
#JOEBIDEN for the #SOUL THAT’s #WEBDUBOIS
When you start to draw dark lines, what colors do you fill in?!? To see everytime you need a place to “put a thought” after 10+ triggers because after 10, numbers lose meaning, the amount at this point doesn’t matter so STOP ASKING PATIENTS TO TRACK when there’s no fucking point except to “blame them” when they don’t do it.
Didn’t you notice #NWMH #therapist teaching #dbt, no one is completing it, the conversations only helpful when “participants” talk to each other & that’s what you #elite #doctors w no INTEREST IN PATIENT FEEDBACK ARE FAILING TO SEE.
The question was “would you like patient feedback?” (No) & the words “self-harm” make me want to self-harm, like it’s a suggestion & NO RESPONSE.
STRATEGY : do not write the words & if self-harming, could there be a sensory component, like an urge, since this has happened 3x time with “suggestive words.” If it happened to me I believe it happened to you?!? The best thing about group therapy to talk about violence, oh wow!!! It happened to you too!!!
Now. Push thru...
When you give someone knowledge & they refuse you keep trying unless it’s a teacher. Then you stay the fuck away… A curriculum provided but the claim was “I’m not a great writer” and the lessons of just write while I sit here got very old…why I developed my own curriculum since my kids were not supported. So how can one report it when it’s best practices to just change the name & market the sh## our of something & why illusion & fantasy & reality & flat out lying makes so much more sense nOW!
WHY WE HAVE LAWS regarding discrimination : the next phase is to add the paper trail & throw more of their cr4p outta my house : in paper form.
Follow the trail…
So a #firsTime because as I move #privately I WILL REFUSE TO LOSE MY MIND since I don’t see #body : it’s flesh it’s bone : it does stuff like holds stuff so when #adrenaline AGLOW from #transition OUTSIDE…no way do they get to #HIDE after they “pretended” to NOT KNOW!?! Let’s try this again, ROUND TWO #TKO #tell #karma #ok!?! (ONE&DONE since I appreciate the moment, validate the #emotion & will never allow anyone to re#SHAPE me from the insides again because that’s making #theWorst into #theBest : resiliency for all… I’m not ok w some things & #technology makes it easy to talk so #THANKYOU #FLIP now add #magic #epicLIVE since if I was going to do this, I’d have to be all in 💨🌊💨💋🔥💥🔥 repeat #body to be able to look at it & again NOT THE SAME AS BEFORE & the difference was #people !?! https://www.instagram.com/p/BpJYMmphV9D/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ynotm11k66rw
Writing the final curticulum so delete stuff. That picture is better than real life.
The way I used technology to get around London, England was to take photos, This is been a difficult movement to hold the phone study and press the button together. I wanted to make it easier and I knew I had to use my phone because it automatically dates. To be able to put one thing away the most difficult thing to understand because of the constant appointments, medical records & incident reports, not to mention the annual reminder of the assaults THAT retrigger so let’s take this nice & slow...
