Having her fangs buried in Alfred’s neck was the best feeling in the world.
As horrible as Sarah might have felt earlier at thesimple idea of biting the young man who had wanted to save herlife, she could now not deny anymore that his hot blood was exactly what she had needed. She could feel how weak he was getting, andeven the knowledge that she was the one sucking the life out of himcouldn’t stop her from taking more and more, drinking until therewas no blood left inside of him. It wasn’t enough, she knew thatwhile at the same time having no idea how she could possibly know that, but what did that matter? All that mattered was thatAlfred woke up again later, the innocence that she usually saw in hiseyes entirely gone. All that mattered was that she saw his fangs andthat they ran away, together, as they had dreamed of just afew days ago.
Alfred’s blood hadn’t been enough for her as a newly turned vampire, and yet ── when they came across a woman, Sarah forced herself to stay away from her to let Alfred drink; heneeded it so much more than she did. She couldn’t help but watchhim with a certain fascination as he sucked the woman dry, realising only now that she had done the same ── and that thevery same had happened to HER only a few hours earlier.
She noticed the change in Alfred the moment ithappened; the second when the realisation of what had happened hithim was when Sarah noticed what she had done as well. SHE had never minded being turned, she had been aware of the riskfrom the beginning on, and she had been WILLING to let Krolock bite her. But Alfred? Sweet and gentle Alfred, who had come all the way from Königsberg just to fight vampires? He had neverwanted this, had never chosen this path.
Sarah was next to him within a second, rushing therein order to gently place her hands on his shoulders, looking up at him with a pained expression in her eyes as he spoke. He was hurting, and it was her fault.
❝ Because I’m selfish, ❞ she replied and took another step towards Alfred. Her own body was now pressed against this, no inch between the two of them, and she truly hoped that hewould not push her away, even though she certainly deserved it. Sarah could handle a lot, she knew that, but being hated by Alfred was not one of these things.
❝ I didn’t want to bite you, I promise you that. You experienced it yourself, the hunger is ── it is impossible to resist. But I couldn’t let you die. I couldn’t risk being without you, Alfred. ❞
Alfred made no move to respond or reply to Sarah in any regard. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the gruesome sight lying on the ground before him. He was responsible for this. He had just willfully ended another’s life. Even the sweetness of Sarah’s words and her arms around him could not calm his horror, Sarah’s only just enough to keep him from collapsing to the ground himself and weeping in grief for the one whose life he had taken and for the life he had lost as it was.
In life( how it pained him to think of it like that), Alfred might have wept for an entirely different reason. He would have wept in joy and at the thought of Sarah needing him, of wanting him near her. But he could not even hope to focus on this singular joyful feeling. Alfred felt all and yet he felt nothing.
❝Sarah, I would have given my life for you, I was ready to die, I just ──❞
Alfred’s voice cracked and he forced himself to take a deep, shaking breath.
❝ I didn’t think it would have been like this.❞
Sarah, she - Alfred could only too easily imagine WHY she would flee into the arms of the creature who whispered such sweet words. The screams he had heard coming from her bedroom door yesterday were far more than enough to guess at that. ( Yet more suffering that he had let Sarah endure. ) And Alfred himself had been tempted by the dark whispers in his mind, but his love had made him strong enough to hold the terrible, devilish ideas at arm’s length, no matter how… tempting they might have been ── for lack of a better word. Alfred had had someone to be strong for. And Sarah had not had that advantage back at the castle. He could not fault her at all for what she did.
He could have been stronger.
Alfred had made a promise to himself and Sarah that he would protect them both, that he would be the man she needed him to be. And he had failed the both of them.
No man could have halted the tears which now freely and silently flowed down his cheek.
Alfred swallowed, trying to swallow away the great lump in his throat, the burning anguish in his chest, the trembling of his lip and reached up a hand which shook slightly to cover Sarah’s. He should be speaking comforting words to Sarah, not the other way around. Even now he could not keep his promise to be all Sarah needed him to be. He had to try.
❝ Sarah, you won’t regret this. I will protect you. What I couldn’t do in life, I’ll try to do in death, I swear it.❞
How he felt about the prospect of this new, bloodstained existance wasn’t important.
origamiaround
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
