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@stcrmin-blog
I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.
Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life (via larmoyante)
Somehow, Alexis had miraculously managed to book a babysitter for the day. It wasn’t that she couldn’t find people willing to do the job – it was that she had a hard time letting her daughter out of her sight. Even when the little one wasn’t around her, she was in fully mommy mode. Her faded and distressed jeans were covered in paint stains from finger-painting sessions gone terribly wrong, and her long, light brown hair was swept up in a messy bun. No makeup graced her pale, delicate features, but she didn’t mind. She rarely had time to ‘doll’ herself up these days. Crouching down with camera in hand, she began snapping landscape pictures to post on her blog. She had yet to book a single gig since moving to Chester, but thankfully, she was able to make ends meet from the donations of those that enjoyed her photography. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she breathed, looking up at the person next to her. “Everything is so still yet so alive, so full of color and promise. How did us mere mortals ever get so lucky to live here, huh?”
“I would call it coincidence.” The tone of his voice was matter-of-fact, devoid of the connection that she was feeling and far from the out-of-body experience that she herself was having about the horizon before them. Still, it was better than most cutting remarks he’d been wont to give out to strangers who suddenly decided to speak to him as though they were long lost friends meeting up again for the first time in years. Taking a brief glance at her, Joshua was at least slightly comforted by the vague familiarity of her face - if she had turned out to be some tourist who would undoubtedly start asking me where was what, his mood would have turned from bad to worse. Surprisingly though, this was one of his better days and he was somewhat willing to lay down his guns in favor of simple conversation. Not that it would stop him from trying to pick at and figure out people, but it was a small consolation that he at least wouldn’t be so negative about it. Unless pushed down that path. “People never quite believe me when I tell them I’ve lived here all my life, something about how pale I am and the... polarized personality seems to set them off. We’re at the better part of town, at least. Get to the outskirts and you wouldn’t be as enthusiastic as you are now.”
One minute he was lost inside his own head - memories of Steph and their childhood and raising her and a time when everything was much more simple - and the next, a girl was sliding her chair up to his table, dog in her lap and using their paw to wave at him. It was amusing - adorable, too, his mind added unhelpfully - so much so, that it roused a slight chuckle out of him. Something that Matty seriously wasn’t expecting. Frowning at his own reaction, he paused to evaluate her words and offer of help.
“You do?” He questioned dubiously. He knew in abstract sort of way - there was only so much he could glean from Steph’s place, and what the locals were willing to tell him. There was only so much he could do on his own when he was painfully new to these parts, and not at all intending to really stay, either. He just wanted to find his sister and then return home to Hawaii - where he had a life, a job and so much more going for him.
(Matty steadfastly ignored just how easy it was to leave that life of his behind.)
“Cause, uh - yeah. I am looking for someone but I doubt she’ll be easy to find, so. It’s not really just a - knock on a few doors kind of situation.” His sister was far to crafty for such a thing - craftiness Matty wasn’t sure she learnt from him or their father.
He laughed and all of a sudden, the breath she didn’t even know she was holding escaped her lips, subtle and quiet. Min-ji had a playful personality by default and had the tendency to walk up to people and start conversations without a hint of hesitation; usually she wasn’t able to gauge what their reactions would be and his... she’d thought he would blow up at her, a misconception brought about by her intimidation at his large frame. Hearing him laugh - warm and hearty and loud - made her grin and want to hear more of it, the sound seemed too good to be true. Why did he have to cut himself off so quickly? Did he despise laughter or enjoying himself?
“Yeah! Why, don’t I look like it? I was born around the corner.” She leaned forward on her seat, one hand darting out to excitedly point where she was referring to. “I wasn’t born there, I mean, I was born at the hospital and everything, but I’ve lived here all my life and it’s a pretty great town. Lots of locals and lots of visitors too, like you...” There was a pause as she stared at him, eyes squinting a little in effort. “... you are a visitor, right? Cause I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen you around before but that might just be me, maybe we just kept not crossing paths or you work at the other side of town or whatever.”
The reality of the situation hit her like a freight train, the epiphany all too obvious when she bolted upright in her seat. All she’d thought was that this was some sort of ‘We were supposed to meet and she didn’t arrive so now I’m worried’ type of missing and they would get it done with the remaining hours of the day, but the tension in his voice said otherwise. Whoever this she was obviously had him worried, had him perhaps a little scared, and the want to help blossomed further in her chest. So far he was proving to be such a nice man, she hated the thought of him not finding who he came here to find. “We can knock on a few doors too - or all the doors actually, they’re not gonna turn me away cause I used to go barging into people’s houses and eating their food... It’s a long story, don’t judge me.”
Despite his best efforts, Matty’s finger hovered over the voicemail - the last message he had from Steph. Despite his best efforts, he pressed the little notification and held his phone to his ear, the voice of his baby sister filtering through the phone tiny microphone.
“HEY, BIG BRO. I’M IN THIS LITTLE TOWN, UH - CHESTER BAY. IN AUSTRALIA! YOU’D LOVE IT. REALLY. YOU SHOULD COME DOWN HERE, SOON. I MISS YOU. I GOTTA GO. BUT. TALK SOON. I LOVE YOU.”
A heavy sigh blew past Matty’s lips, and he clenched his eyes closed, a hand scrubbing over his face. “Christ, Steph,” He muttered, phone clattering to the cafe table. “Where are you?”
Min-ji wasn’t a snoop, no, not at all... except that was a lie. Or, well, it was half a lie, but it was closer to being true than it was to being untrue, so she tended to round it up and just claim that she wasn’t a snoop, no, not at all.
She just had that tendency of being at the right (read: wrong) place at the right time, making her the unwitting audience to people’s ramblings and conversations. The good thing was that she wasn’t a gossip and most information eventually faded into nonexistence in her head, being replaced by things that actually interested her, like the latest season of Game of Thrones or if there was a new guy in town who wasn’t half bad to look at.
Today that’s how she found herself a table next to a man decidedly bigger than her, intimidating her for a moment before Min-ji heard the words he was saying. Okay, so he was whispering them to himself but surely he wouldn’t get mad if she offered to help him? Slowly sliding her chair up to his table, grabbing the dog she was watching in her lap so he wouldn’t slip away from her, she used a paw to cast a wave at the man, hoping it would soften the blow of her accidental eavesdropping. “You looking for someone? I... heard and hey, I can help! I know this town like the back of my hand!”
Why would I try to…— look just ten more minutes and I promise I’ll leave. I’ll even give you a tip? I know but I forgot to pay the bill this month and I’m running low on money so my apartment is basically useless right now. I’m just asking for ten minutes. Please?
That’s what they always say, then after ten minutes, you’ll say ‘Just five more, please’ and then that’ll go on and on until I find I’m still here when the opening shift arrives. The problem with indulging people is that more often than not they end up taking advantage - if I gave everyone who ever asked for ten minutes that then I’d be the worst worker. I get the position you’re in, I honestly do, but I also have my own shit to deal with.
he quirked an eyebrow at the remark and said, “kitty’s got claws.” he chuckled, and closed the cap that was chewed around the edges on his pen as he turned on his seat to fully face the other male. he liked to think that this was one of the many scenarios he’d made up in his head when he was bored: meet a more or less attractive person in a coffee shop, someone that posed a challenge for him, get on the wrong foot, and later on realize that they’re both being unreasonable and that they could use a drink after work. he’d never say that out loud, obviously, never let him know about it outright – these were just silent musings he used to fuel his libido.
“don’t be so uptight. relax, you look like you haven’t taken a shit in a week.” he wasn’t sure if it was to further piss the guy off or to make him look like he had quick wit, which was supposed to be an attractive and redeeming quality, but he had a hunch that it might not work the same way for this guy. this guy, who seemed like he was ready to slice soren in half if he had the means. “i don’t know, though, i think i could make you go weak in the knees if i tried.” a small shrug. “now, are you going to tell me your name, or am i just gonna have to stick with darling?”
Again, an eyeroll and another step further away from his lips ever cracking into a smile, except now most of his refusal was hinged out of spite, a refusal to give in to whatever this guy was hoping to get out of this conversation. In his line of work and with the closing shift, Joshua often found himself sharing company with either students adamant on digging their heels in and being as petulant as possible or drunks and their friends trying to sober them up before shipping them off back home. Now he knew that Soren wasn’t of either two, but he was even more annoyed because he seemed to have molded into a heady combination of both. “Makes sense that you’d resort to mentioning bodily functions as a form of humor, although I would have expected more out of a professor... you are a professor, yes?”
He nodded at the papers again, trying his best not to smirk as he now proceeded to lay a card on the table, so to speak. It has always been his favorite hobby to study people, figure them out and then one by one tell them what he thought of them, gaining momentum with each correct observation. In their short conversation, Joshua already felt like he’d read a book on this man’s life... and he still had yet to know his name. “I’ve met my fair share of egoists but I have to tell you, none have ever been so in denial as you. Is this some form of compensation for... I want to say, lack of attention from parents who worked too much or lack of attention from peers who previously thought less of you so now you’re painting on a facade of overconfidence and machismo?” On the subject of his name, a hand dug into his pocket then tossed something on the table - his nameplate, still sleek despite the length of his stay in his position. “ ‘She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment and to call each thing by its right name.’ Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak. Don’t call me darling. ”
INTJs are clever, analytical, pragmatic, and logical, and are not scared to tell someone (or themselves) when they’re being stupid. They emphasize efficiency, making them simultaneously loners and excellent leaders. Their natural talent for planning and system-building often makes them the perfect villains. (x)
soren, for the most part, didn’t have much difficulty trying to navigate his way around a conversation, unless he was dealing with an inherently difficult person, but even then, he’d find a way around it and make it work in his favor. he did love a good challenge, and this man, right here, seemed like one. “going through papers is my job, though,” he reasoned, holding one marked with an (87) up to emphasize his point. “just so happens that i get to sit on my ass doing it.” he grinned at the employee, who obviously wasn’t impressed with his efforts to get on his good side and said, “most of the time, it does, yeah. works great for me,” before taking the last sip from his latte and extending it towards the man. he made a motion for him to grab it. “well, that’s no way to treat a customer, now, is it?”
“Your job is pointless though, don’t feel like you’re obliged to play the part of a dutiful employee for my sake... or anyone else’s.” One of Joshua’s (many) points of pride was his ability to get his head in the game: in whatever task - in his jobs or for his education - he could turn the switch on and off whenever he wanted to, there wasn’t this frankly ridiculous need to “get himself in the zone” or “find the right ambiance” or whatever excuses people came up with to visit the cafe and stay there for hours on end. Determination and focus ran through his veins like blood, making him the best student of his class (and he would argue the best flat out in the university) and, in turn, putting him a position where everyone felt... below him. He definitely thought that of Soren, especially now that he’d learned what he did for a living and could, in his opinion, more or less form an idea of the kind of person he was. And the kind of professor he was. “Were you expecting some sort of congratulatory note on that because if so, then I hate to tell you but I’m all out... except that’s a lie, I’m actually glad to be able to tell you that.” With pointed exasperation, he took the cup and made his way to the back to dump it in the sink for the morning shift to take care of. “That whole spiel about the customer always being right is bullshit and you’re proof of it. Going through papers isn’t something that you have to do here, especially because we’re closed and, even more pressingly, because you look like you’re anticipating me to go weak in the knees for you any minute now and it’s starting to be concerning.”
Jennifer Johnston, How Many Miles to Babylon?
Submitted by rainismyinspiration.
There is something inherently valuable about being a misfit. It’s not to say that every person who has artistic talent was a social outcast, but there is definitely a value for identifying yourself differently and being proud that you are different.
“and why haven’t you been able to lie on a proper bed for a week?” there was a suggestive smile on soren’s face, and he knew he shouldn’t be making jokes at this person, not when he’s clearly tired and had had a long day, but he really needed to finish grading these papers, and he knew that if he went home, he’d just end up drunk or stoned or both. really, this was for the best. “don’t rush me, darling, i’m busy.”
“Because,” Joshua started to say, all the while moving around the cafe to make sure that he’d definitely done the part of his job that required everything to be spotless. He wasn’t anal in the least about these things, but he was a stickler for doing his job perfectly in both the interest of competition and his personal expectations. “Some of us do have more than one job, none of which give the opportunity to sit on our ass, going through papers.” He nodded pointedly at what the man was perusing, not letting his words or his pathetic attempts at charm to dissuade him from his point - it wasn’t even a problem at all, they wouldn’t have worked on him either way with or without the effort. “Does this,” he waved a hand at Soren’s general direction. “... act of yours actually work on anyone or is this some sort of trial run you’re doing right now? I can tell you right now you went a thousand degrees off the negative scale when you called me darling... and also, please leave.”
I understand that you’re upset but I have no wifi at home and I really need to finish writing this report so could you pretty please hold back the aggressive tone in your voice and give me like fifteen more minutes?
Aggressive? I... are you sure you’ve ever heard someone be aggressive or are you just trying to be as belligerent as possible? Because that wasn’t aggressive, you’d know aggressive me when you hear it and that’s not it. You know, even with all the people that passed by here today, I can still remember when each one of you came in and I have to say, it’s a little irresponsible of you to come in so late then expect me to bend the rules to accommodate you.
Sorry, but... are you done here? 'Cause we're ten minutes to closing and there are some of us who are actually eager to lie on a proper bed for the first time in a week.
Arden Cho photographed by Brie Seavey
