It sucks when someone makes you feel like you're not good enough. Doubting yourself, questioning your actions, self pity, feeling unattractive and basically feeling pretty worthless. I know that's no way to be and I also know that I love the person that I am, but sometimes I forget and it's a downward spiral of emotions. I also hear often I can get any girl I want and that there's a line of girls waiting. I look outside my window and there's no one there. People assume too much. Judgmental twats. My last girlfriend from 5 years ago moved away with her boyfriend. Good for her, yippee. I've had some one nighters and small relations that didn't work out since then. And some distances kept love out of my reach. It really is a god damn battlefield out there. I usually feel like I'm on the losing side. Maybe it's not meant to be. I have such a hard time connecting fully and handing over my heart to anyone. Monogamy, relationships, it all seems silly to me when I separate emotions and intellect. But humans are just wired to want that nonsense. Lucky us. I mean life in general, there's so much pain and suffering till the day that we die, yet the will to live keeps us fighting to stick around another day. Lucky us. For now I will keep building a stronger mind, body, and soul. Keep creating, questioning everything, loving as hard as I can, and staying away from people and places that bring me down. It's all actually quite simple and easy. But so not. Photo by Brett Glazer
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