If I had a nickel for every time I felt protective over a snarky, emotionally guarded Eastern European teenage boy with a dead mom, an asshole dad that later dies resulting in very bittersweet and complicated feelings, and an affinity for deflowering a shy nerdy boy, parading around with a girl named Svetlana in front of him/sending mixed signals, and then slowly (painfully slowly) falling in love with him after years of a messy on again-off again relationship that included a ton of sex, sneaking around, a dad walking in on them, his boyfriend acquiring a beard after trying to date and then becoming best friends with a woman, and a slow transition from calling each other by their last names to their first names...
I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.
hey guys. sorry ive been MIA for months. Ive been adjusting to working full time again and its NOT gping well. my mental health is the worst its ever been and tbh im not sure ill be here this time next year but ive really appreciated your support since ive been uploading and ill try and get it finished so youre not left forever wondering lol. just need to figure out wether to quit my job first.
hello!! welcome back!!! im sorry life has been so difficult lately, i hope things get better soon. i need you to know that when i saw you posted the newest part (10min after, the earliest ive ever been) i literally out loud gasped and went "theyre back!!" because i was so excited to hear from you again!
the slow realizations in the newest part are so sweet!! spencer is so kind and understanding like god please send me someone like that lol.
i hope spencer and reader take the time to make sure their feelings are genuinely because of their personalities outside the situation (i know they will but sometimes in fics like this one the getting together part feels really soon after the break up and it can be jarring for me personally).
how are things with your friend situation? that is such a complicated situation, im sorry it happened (and if you dont want to share abt it thats fine!!)
sending you all the love 💕
hey, thank you so much!!!! i promise this won’t be rushed at all, readers still healing!
my friend situation is MESSY but i’ve removed myself from it cause ✨trauma✨ so im not feeling it as much. life’s looking up a little now though!!! i got a call back to offer me a job so im now officially employed (first day nov 17th!) so feeling a lot better about myself and significantly less stressed haha!
i just wanna thank you specifically as well, i really appreciate all the asks you leave, and though i might not respond to all of them—i promise im reading them all and they make me feel a lot better about stuff so thank you 💕
i’m always here guys, and if there’s anything you want to see in this story specifically, don’t be afraid to send me a request and i’ll find a way to include it!! love you all 💕x
Trigger warning for physical and emotional abuse and manipulation. Please proceed with caution.
The video went up the next day, completely unedited. You’d wanted the video to be as genuine as possible, so you and Spencer had decided not to cut out him asking if you’re okay, or him bringing you tissues.
You were on the couch right now, doomscrolling through the comments.
@ltloll: Fucking hell. I wish Y/N so much healing.
@ryans-gf: Nah, Ryan’s not like that.
@s2sb2: is it weird i kinda saw it?? in the last moose master vid ryan was giving WEIRD vibes cause y/n was behind the cam.
@99eliza: we love you y/n!!
@clarissrer: um…idk
You look up as Spencer enters with a smile, holding a take out bag. “Chilli’s coming in hot!”
You laugh and discard your phone, standing. “Is it weird we’re having takeout two days in a row?”
“Nah.” He laughs, placing it on the counter as you reach for plates. “It’s been a rough week for both of us.”
You sigh and nod. “Yeah, I guess. The video up yet?” You ask, trying to hide what you’ve been doing for the last hour.
“Yeah. Been up a few hours now.”
You breathe deeply. “Cool.” Spencer paused, which made you stop. You breathed out a stuttering laugh as he levelled you with a stare. “What?”
“You’ve read the comments, haven’t you?” Spencer probes and you sigh, shoulders slumping in shame. “Y/N! I told you not to for your own good!”
“I’m sorry.” You say sadly, shaking your head. “I just…needed to know.”
“And?” He probes gently, reaching for the cutlery as you fiddle with your ring.
“Mostly positive.”
“…Mostly? There are people that don’t believe you?” He asks, eyes wide.
You laugh without humour. “It’s a man’s world.” You’re quiet for a second, staring at the leaky kitchen tap that never stops dripping. Spencer’s quiet beside you, like he can tell that silence is what you need. You speak only when it begins to weigh on you.
“Every time I think of him…I get this sickening feeling of familiarity.” You say, voice practically a whisper. The drip of the tap feels loud in your ears, and you can suddenly hear the ticking of the hallway clock that you’d subconsciously tuned out. “Like…the wrong person knows me too well. And I know him too well.” You sigh, scraping your hair away from your face and tucking a loose strand behind your ear. “And then suddenly, I find myself aware that he wasn’t always the wrong person.”
Spencer’s quiet, blue eyes wide. You stand in his gaze, staring back. For the first time, you felt like somebody could fully see you. You felt like he was reading your soul.
“I’m amazed that you loved him.” Spencer responds, voice soft. The clock feels like it’s getting louder. “Having that much love in your heart…it’s beautiful. You’re amazing.” He comforts, reaching over and placing his hands over yours.
You fight the urge to roll your eyes and instead shake your head. “It’s amazing right up until I’m avoiding my own eyes in the mirror because I’m so ashamed that I stayed. Up until I was alone in the bedroom clutching my own chest thinking I could die from the pain— thinking I could choke on it and he wouldn’t even care.”
He says nothing, but his breath stutters. It’s silent a beat longer. “You could be a poet.” The quiet compliment breaks the tension, and it crashes down, like a wave cresting on the shore, splashing over your ankles. You laugh and it feels like you could finally breathe.
“I’m not a poet, I’m just a woman.” You respond.
“Amy March?”
“Little Women.” You confirm with a grin, as he followed you to the table.
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
It’s later that night Spencer guides you— freshly showered, your hair still in a towel turban that always makes him laugh— to the couch. You eyes fall on the screen.
“What’s this?”
“Resident Evil 4 remake.” He responds, plopping down next to you with a loud sigh, controller in his hands. Your skin burns when his trousers brush against your thigh. “Thinking of showing it to Angela and Amanda.”
“Oh, hell yeah!” You respond with a grin and he chuckles. “Isn’t this the best one?”
“Disagree.” Spencer says loudly. “It’s arguably the 2 remake.”
“It’s subjective!” You argue with a laugh.
“It’s only subjective when you’re wrong!” He responds and you throw your head back and laugh. You expect him to hit play but turn and catch him watching you with a soft, loaded gaze and his cheeks red.
“What?” You ask.
“You’re beautiful.” He responds again, and you snort, rolling your eyes. He smiles and turns to the screen, already going on a rant about the game before it even loads. “So in this one you play a U.S. agent Leon S. Kennedy that’s sent to Spain to save the presidents daughter…”
You partially zone out, just watching him talk with a grin on his face. You didn’t have the heart to remind him that you’d played all of the Resident Evils in college and loved them enough to know the lore. You loved seeing him talk, the way he goes on small tangents and waves his hands around to emphasise his points.
He gets to a quieter part of the game when he finally notices you looking at him.
“What?”
It’s your turn to smile this time. “You’re beautiful.”
He snorts and whacks his shoulder into yours, shaking his head with a laugh, and your eyes trace the crinkles by his eyes. You feel like you could draw them from memory. “Shut up.”
You laugh along, letting him continue on with the game, but you continued to stare at him. It wasn’t a joke, he really was beautiful.
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
The bathroom was illuminated only by the light up mirror as you rubbed in the moisturiser, humming under your breath. The knock was so soft you almost missed it but you turned your head to the door. “Yeah?” You ask.
Spencer opens the door, clearly almost ready for bed, old band t-shirt on and a stained pair of grey sweatpants, feet bare. You smile at him and he smiles back, sitting on the toilet seat, watching you continue.
“What’s up?” He says, voice awkward. You laugh.
“Nothing much, ‘sup with you?” You respond sarcastically.
“Y/N.” Spencer says, voice dropping an octave. It always did that when he meant business— it was the voice he used when the cast were fucking about to much and he needed them to get back on track. You felt a shot of lightening in your back that confused you.
“Spencer.” You respond, copying his serious tone as you grab your comb.
“Look. I know you don’t like to talk about it, and you can tell me to fuck off if you want and I will but…” He paused and your hands stopped moving through your hair, just staring at him. “What you said earlier. Are you okay?”
You sigh and place the comb down, leaning against the counter. “No.” You say, and sigh. You don’t think you’ve answered that question truthfully for five years.
“You wanna talk about it?” Spencer asks, voice soft, like he was actually asking. Not demanding. It felt foreign to your ears.
“He used to be familiar.” You say quietly, avoiding his gaze, and subsequently meeting your own in the mirror. You can’t hold it for more than a second, fixing your eyes on the marble countertop. “The way he left…made him unfamiliar. I don’t know the person he was when he left me.” You say, feeling like you’re choking on the words. “I miss the boy who used to love me. The boy that wanted all of my tomorrows. I don’t miss the man he became.”
Spencer nods like he understands. You can’t help but feel slightly bitter about the fact he never will.
“I used to have dreams,” You continued. “Dreams where he’d hold me just to hold me, and not because of some possessive power play. Where he’d see me, sick with a runny nose and surrounded by tissues and call me beautiful. Where he’d kiss me in the middle of the milk aisle just because. Where we’d stay up until 4am because he wouldn’t stop asking me questions. And then I’d wake up, and he wouldn’t look at me. He’d hold me at an arms length unless someone else was around. He’d never ask me questions. Like he didn’t even care to know me.” You sigh, and ignore the stinging in your eyes. “I only felt at home in my dreams.”
Spencer stood and took you in his arms. Holding you just to hold you. He stroked your hair gently, and you let him sway you. You tucked your head in his neck, closing your eyes to the scent of Old Spice. “You deserve more than just your dreams.” He says softly. “You deserve someone who feels like home.”
His voice settled in your heart, and you could have sworn if your ribcage wasn’t there, it might have jumped out of your chest and landed at his feet.
You feel like home, a small voice in your head says. Instead, you say nothing, and hug him tighter, letting the swaying settle your soul into a begrudging calm.
Like a ship being swayed by unforgiving waves.
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
a/n: if you can’t tell be the extremely sad chapter, i am not doing well 😝
this is based on a real conversation i had with my mam after my first girlfriend cheated on me (was not fun) and remains the most honest and best conversation i have ever had. also, she did say i should be a poet lmao but i though writer was the next closest thing (prose and rhyming schemes are not my forte).
thanks sm for all your patience while i fought my mind to get this written, i notice your support and every comment makes me feel good. love you all so much 💕x
if you liked this, please consider buying me kofi!
Hello! I hope you’re doing good I’m a big fan of your work! I’m sorry you’re going through a lot right now in your personal life but let us know if you ever need help or anything. Do you have a kofi or anywhere people can donate to?
Have a great day and stay hydrated!!
hi! thanks so much for the patience guys i really really appreciate it! it feels a bit like i’ve got the ao3 curse but on tumblr lmao!
i’ve had a kofi for a while but nobody donated so i kinda gave up lmao. but if anyone’s willing to help out, here’s the link: https://ko-fi.com/stevie5674
love you all, i promise i’ll be back really soon!!! 💕💕xx
no update for a while. my best friend (whose like family) just blew up her life by cheating on her boyfriend of 3 years. shes just woke me up at 4am and told me everything before asking to stay at mine for a while. trying to decide wtf to do because i hate cheaters but love her. so sorry yall- my life is a walking drama series i never get a day of peace.
sorry for the slow updates recently guys! i’ve realised my life is meaningless and is already at a standstill so i’ve kinda lost all hope lmao. also i can’t afford my wifi bill anymore so if i want to write i have to walk an hour to my nans, write it and upload it all in a day so im kinda overwhelmed rn BAHAHAHAH loving life
Trigger warning for physical and emotional abuse and manipulation. Please proceed with caution.
You breathed out heavily, breath coming out shaky and nervous, to match your trembling hands. Angela, whose stood in front of you, takes them gently in hers, smiling softly at you.
“You don’t have to do this.” She says gently, as Scott finishes up on your mic and gives you a nod. You smile back before turning back to Angela. “We can just put out a written statement.”
You shake your head, as Spencer approaches staring down at his phone. “No it needs to be like this. It’s fine, I can handle it.”
Angela opens her mouth to object before Spencer sighs, stopping to the side of you. “What is it?” Angela asks.
“He’s taken it to Twitter. Done a Q&A and everything. Bastard.” He scoffs, holding his phone out for you.
You take it, your eyes scanning.
Caitlin @lomlspencer: when did you leave smosh?
Ryan Lucas: I left a week ago.
Richie @cofreakingmiller: what did you mean when you said she “poisoned” smosh against you
Ryan Lucas: Right after she started she started spreading lies about me and our relationship, starting with her “boss” Spencer Agnew.
Nina @mmnof: spencer? so he spread them too?
Ryan Lucas: Yeah, if anything I think he orchestrated it to get me out of the way if you know what I’m saying.
Freddie @freddartsss: You think there’s something between them?
Ryan Lucas: I’m certain of it.
You scoff and shove the phone back at the man, rolling your eyes. “I know.” Spencer sighs.
“He can fucking drag my name through the mud all he wants.” You seethe. “But bringing you into this? How dare he.”
“If it helps,” Spencer sighs, “I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, I do.” You scoff, fiddling with your ring. Spencer’s eyes flicker to the movement before meeting your eyes again. “You’re my best friend in the world, he can’t just say that.”
Spencer mouth drops and he swallows sharply, your eyes following the movement in his throat, watching his adams apple bob. “What?” You ask, slightly terse.
“I’m your best friend?” He questions, voice coming out slightly hoarse and eyes wide, watering slightly.
Your head tilts in confusion. “Of course?” You return, voice genuine. “Didn’t you know that?”
Spencer lets out a chuckle, and shakes his head, eyes drifting to the floor before looking back up. “You’re my best friend too.” He says, his eyes flickering between yours as he plays with a loose string on the hem of his t-shirt.
You share a smile, and the air is electric between you, before Brennan comes over and taps him on the shoulder and he turns away.
You breathe deeply again and Angela speaks again. You jump slightly, but attempt to hide it, embarrassed at the fact you’d kind of forgotten she was there. That was happening a little more often lately.
The rest of the world seemed to quiet when you two met eyes.
“You sure you’re good to do this?” Angela asks, eyes flickering between you and Spencer’s back, but clearly deciding both to say anything. You nod sharply, swallowing the lump in your throat. “You can stop at any point.”
“I know.” You reply, and are startled again when Spencer places a gentle hand on your forearm. You turn to meet his eyes.
“You got anything prepared?”
“A…general idea.” You reassure, now staring at the BoardAF table with something akin to fear. “It’s more me being on camera.”
He nods and lowers his hand, before it settles on the small of your back. Your skin burns, despite you wearing two layers in the cold air of the Games Stage. “You got this.” He says, voice filled with confidence. “It gets easier after a while, I promise.”
You chuckle, voice shaky as you wring your hands together. “Did you know I wanted to be an actress until I was 15?” You start and you feel Spencer turn his head to look at you in shock.
“Really? So how come you’re a producer?” He replies.
“Found out I had horrific stage fright.” You laughed and Spencer chuckled. “If I knew people were watching I’d always freeze. Couldn’t get out a word.”
“You did great on the podcast.” Spencer says, hand stroking your spine. You fight the urge to shiver at his touch.
“Yeah, it’s gotten better now.” You nod, spinning the ring on your finger. “Comes back sometimes though.”
He nods and squeezes your hip. “We don’t have to.”
“I know.” You affirm, nodding. “I want to. The subscribers deserve an explanation. A proper one.” He nods and turns to Brennan— stood behind camera one— who gives a thumbs up and Spencer squeezes your hip again.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” You sigh, shaking out your shoulders before walking to the seat Spencer had set out for you— right in the center. It felt weird, being the only person on the table, with only one camera pointed at a direct angle. You nervously brushed your hair away from your face and chewed your lip.
Spencer shakes his head. “You look beautiful.” He reassures and you laugh, before coughing into your fist to get out that damn tickle. “Okay.” Spencer says, sitting down in his chair next to the camera, right in your eyeline.
You tried to swallow away the nerves. There were only five other people in the entire building— as per your request this was being done about half an hour after shooting concluded and most if not all employees had gone home.
Only Spencer, Brennan, Angela, Courtney and Shayne remained. The latter three, sat on the sofa in the far corner, all currently giving you thumbs up or nods of encouragement.
You took a deep breath as Spencer held up three finger, then two, then one and you began.
“Hey guys,” You say and fight the urge to wince at how weak your voice sounded. “I know this isn’t the usual upload day but this isn’t a usual video. As some of you may know from Smosh Mouth, my names Y/N, and I’m the producer over at Smosh Games.” You begin, and take a deep steadying breath, eyes glancing over to the right of the camera where Spencer— who was usually say with a notebook for the videos— was leant forwards, eyes trained on you. He gave you a soft nod and a gentle smile. You continued.
“I was also Ryan, our ex cast-members, girlfriend for 3 years.” You swallowed again, and played with your ring. “Despite his claims, I was not hired purely because of him, but on account of my years of experience in the film industry as a producer. I was offered the position because of my qualifications— but yes, I will admit, being Ryan’s girlfriend put me in the right place, at the right time.” You nod to the camera, already feeling yourself growing hot from the lights.
“The reason I’m here today is to answer said accusations. I’ve seen the Reddit and Twitter posts claiming that you don’t know what to believe because you don’t know me well enough to know my character, which is fair.” You’re on a little bit of a roll now, voice growing stronger with every sentence.
“So I’m here, putting a face to the accusations and to honestly address them.” You take a deep steadying breath and Spencer smiles at you encouragingly. “The truth— the real, full truth— is that Ryan was abusive in our relationship. Physically and mentally. I was with him for three years, and never once did I feel equal.” You say, your voice tremoring. You realize now that it’s the first time you’ve said it out loud and close your eyes to squeeze back the tears.
“You okay?” Spencer asks, voice heavy with emotion. “You need a break?”
“No, no, I’m okay.” You chuckle wetly, sniffing before continuing. “He first hurt me the day before I started at Smosh and didn’t stop. There wasn’t one day where I wasn’t bruised in some way because of him.” You sniff again, and Spencer grabs a pack of tissues and quietly walks on camera to give them to you. You take them from him with. soft smile, and, though concerned, he walks back to his seat.
“Truth is, I didn’t realize he was abusive. I thought they were “corrections” and that it was my fault.” You nod at the camera. “Spencer helped me see it differently. The cast only found out because I told an elaborate story about how I received one of my black eyes, and Ryan told a completely different story later that day. He was caught up in his own lies.”
“The reason Ryan was terminated,” You say, ready to get to the heart of the matter. “Is because he beat me in front of half of Smosh. These coworkers then had to watch him get dragged off in a police car and me in an ambulance. I came out of it with a black eye, a bruised abdomen and a cracked rib. I’m in pain every time I sit down or stand up or if I breathe too deeply.” You admit. Spencer straightens in his seat. You hadn’t told him that.
“I have proof, in the way of a temporary restraining order against him— which will hopefully be upheld and made permanent in an upcoming court date— and at least 50 eye witnesses.” You state, staring down the camera now. “Ryan Lucas is an abusive manipulator and has officially been terminated from Smosh. I’m hoping all future employers see this video so that they know what kind of person they’re dealing with.” You go to stand before hesitating.
“Also, to answer his claim about mine and Spencer’s relationship: there is none. I have not slept with Spencer. I have no romantic relationship with him,” You say, though the words feel weird coming out of your mouth, “Ryan, if you see this, leave him the hell alone. This is between me and you. I’ll see you in court.” You say firmly before leaving the table and Spencer calls cut.
You breathe heavily as Angela rushes over, hugging you gently (because of your rib) and stepping back. “That was great.” She assures, nodding.
You scoff. “Hope so. Don’t know if I have it in me to do again.”
“You are amazing.” Courtney says sincerely, eyes watering a little. You laugh and brush her off. Shayne just nods behind her, smiling. Spencer comes up behind you and places a gentle hand on your back. “If you’re here to ask for a thumbnail, you can fuck off.” You say, voice still emotional. Everyone laughs and he shakes his head, smile tight and forced.
“Nah, I’ll just take a screenshot of the video. You didn’t move that much.”
“It better be flattering.” You say pointing at him warningly. “Not, like, mid sentence or something.”
“Every picture of you looks great.” Spencer assures, rubbing your back. “Half the comments on the Smosh Mouth episode were about how pretty you were.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, and the other half were about how perfect you are for Spencer.” Angela jumps in, flinching when Courtney hits her on the arm. “What?” She turns and Courtney shakes your head.
You open your mouth, confused, before Spencer takes your hand and pulls you a little further, out of earshot of the cast members, and Brennan, who was busying himself with the lights.
“You didn’t tell me.” He begins, eyes sharp.
“What?”
“About your ribs. You didn’t tell me they bothered you that much.” He says, eyes wide and imploring.
“It’s not so bad.” Yous shrugged. He raises his eyebrows and you laugh. “Really! After a few aspirin I can barely feel it.”
His eyes are wide. “You promise to tell me if it gets worse?”
“Sure.” You shrug again, brushing a strand of hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. “But seriously, I’ve had period cramps that are worse.”
He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Fuck.” His voice seems distant and fond.
“What?” You probe.
“Nothing.” He grins, squeezing your hand, which you’re just now realising he never let go of. “You’re just…amazing.”
You laugh self-consciously, head tilted as he grins at you. “So, what do you want for dinner?” You pose.
“Homestate.” He responds, laughing before walking past you to grab his laptop, still perched on the chair.
You laugh, throwing your head back. “Of course. Should have seen that coming.”
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
a/n: i’m not loving this one cause there’s not much plot development but it had to be done to tie the ryan stuff in a neat bow 🎀 this will be the last we see of ryan (i think. my brain might surprise me) but obvs he’ll be mentioned now again because he is a huge part of the story…love yall, lmk what you think xx
so i have a weird thing where my mind tends to jump to the very end of the story without thinking about all the shit in the middle…so i’ve already got the last chapter written but nothing else lmao
Trigger warning for physical and emotional abuse and manipulation. Please proceed with caution.
It was six o’clock when Spencer returned home, his keys rattling in the door as he throws off his jacket with a sigh. You look up from where you’re sat on the couch, a gentle smile finding its way to your face.
“Hey, Spence.” You say gently, pausing the TV just as the T-Rex starts to roar. His eyes flicker to the screen and he smiles.
“Jurassic Park?”
“Of course.”
“Classic.” He murmurs in approval, rushing forward to help you as you stand. You shake him off you with a huff.
“I can handle it.” You say mock sternly. “I’ve been getting up all day.”
“Why?” He rushes, eyebrows creased and eyes wide behind his lenses. “I told you to relax.”
“Spencer.” You turn to him, scolding, before making your way over to the kitchen, the man hot on your heels like a shadow. “After six months of being the busiest person alive, I think I’ve forgotten how to relax.” You joke, as you open the oven where the food was being kept warm.
“Well, that’s a probl—“ Spencer starts but cuts himself off as you take the two plates out of the oven. “Did you cook?”
“Nothing special, just used what you had in the fridge. I hope you don’t mind.” You say nervously, placing the plates on the counter before walking over to the fridge.
“Don’t mind? Y/N, this is amazing…you really didn’t have to.”
“I know I didn’t.” You say, and you’re still getting used to that. Not having to do stuff. It’s nice. “I wanted to. You’re letting me stay here.”
He gives you a gentle smile, eyes sparkling before grabbing the plates from the counter and placing them on the small round table just as you place the waters.
It’s fifteen minutes later, just when you were standing to place the dishes in the sink, when there was a knock on the door. Spencer stood, and grabbed the plates off the table. “Could you get that? It’s probably Angela. She mentioned coming by.” You nod and walk to the door, still holding your glass in your hand.
The person on the other side of the door steals the breath from your lungs. Your hand loosens and the glass falls from your grip, smashing and scattering all over the floor. Neither of you react, and Ryan’s grin widens. “Hey babe.”
You stared in shock, not quite sure what to say, when Spencer comes rushing over with a dustpan and brush. “What happened? Are you okay?” He glances at the door and freezes.
Ryan scoffs. “Shoulda known. Can’t leech off me anymore so you’re trying your luck with someone else, huh?”
“I-I—“ You tried, but the fear in your chest was squeezing your lungs and you felt like you were drowning. Spencer bent down to brush up the glass, and touched your leg gently. You looked down.
“Go to the living room.” He says with a gentle smile.
“No, I—“
“Y/N.” Spencer says. “You don’t have to but I think it’d be best.” You stared at each other for a while and Ryan starts to chuckle, deep and malicious.
“Okay.” You whisper, glancing at Ryan one last time, who looked grumpy beyond belief before backing away and turning the corner, sitting on the sofa nervously.
It starts as quiet voices, before all you could hear was Ryan, loudly calling for you. You flinched when he called your name, but ignored it. Another few minutes went by before the front door slammed shut, blocking off Ryan mid sentence.
Spencer renters your line of sight as he walks to the bin and empty’s the dustpan in there, sighing loudly. You watch him nervously as he approaches, flopping down on the sofa next to you.
“What did he want?” You say nervously, leg bouncing.
“You.” Spencer snorts, raking a hand through his curls as he rolls his eyes. “Told him to fuck off.”
You laugh a little, glancing over at him. “How’d he know where I am?”
“Life 360.” He responds. “Evidentially you’re still sharing your location.” You gasp and rush to open your phone, completely having forgotten about the app. “He knocked every door and asked for you.”
The silence stretches for a second, and you tilted your head. “We’re on the third floor.”
“Yup.” He responds, snorting, and you giggle. You sigh as you delete Life 360, making sure the location tracker is off.
You sit back on the couch, staring at the ceiling, lump in your throat. Spencer turns to face you. His voice is gentle as his hand comes to rest on your shoulder, face creases with concern.
“You okay?”
“He’s never going to leave me alone, is he?” You said, voice cracking. Spencer tuts, face sad.
He shakes his head, disappointed. “I don’t think so.”
You sigh and chuckle, Spencer looking confused. “You know any good lawyers? I need a restraining order.”
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
A week later, the fact that Ryan wouldn’t leave you alone became evident when an extremely stressed out Spencer came home, chucking his keys down and kicking of his shoes, holding a bag of takeout that you’d requested he pick up.
You’re concerned at his annoyance and rush over to take the food, tilting your head. “Rough day?”
“You could say that.” He scoffs loudly.
“What happened?” You say with a sigh. You’re due back to work in a week so you wouldn’t be surprised if you needed to help fix whatever this was when you returned.
“Ryan.” Your head snaps to his, eyes wide. Spencer waves you off and you hesitantly reach into the cupboard for plates, placing them on the counter. “He’s taken his plight to social media.”
“What do you mean?” You ask, but Spencer’s already pulling something up. It looked like a screenshot of a Instagram story, which became evident when you glanced up at the handle: @ryan.lucas.
You scoffed and Spencer handed his phone to you, moving around you to the takeout, playing up as you read.
It is with a heavy heart that I announce my separation from Smosh. I had some great memories at the company, which have now unfortunately turned sour due to certain individuals interfering in mine and Y/N’s relationship— which is now also at an end. Because of this, I made the difficult decision to sever any ties I have with them. I will be going live tonight to explain in more detail.
You scoff, and whirl around, placing Spencer’s phone back on the counter. Spencer nods at your reaction, sucking a little bit off sauce that had gotten on his thumb. “How dare he?!” You announce. “He’s changing the whole fucking narrative.”
Spencer nods and turns back to the takeout. “Yeah, so we’ve been dealing with that since lunchtime when he posted it. Ollie screenshotted it and sent it to everyone on Slack. We’ve all unfollowed and blocked him—“
“But that doesn’t solve this.”
“Exactly.” He says. He grabs the plastic bag and bins it, as you walk forward to grab your plate. “Ian wants to make a statement about it, but I wanted to check with you how much you’re comfortable with me saying.”
You nod and take a sip of your water as you sit down. Spencer follows. “What kind of statement?”
“Just a post on Instagram or something, confirming he’s not affiliated with us anymore and that he didn’t choose to leave, that he was terminated for his personal standpoints or something.” He sights, shovelling noodles in his mouth. “We’ll have to plan accordingly tomorrow. We don’t know what he’ll say.”
You nod. “Is someone gonna be watching?”
Spencer nods. “Erin has a secret account. She’s watching for when he goes live and she’s going to screen record the whole thing.”
You nod, eyes misty and place a hand over his that was resting on the table. “I’m sorry.”
Spencer’s eyebrows crease and he places his fork on the plate. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
“That he’s being like this.”
Spencer turns his hand over and threads your fingers together, eyes wide and genuine. “You’re not responsible for his actions.” He says gently. “No matter how much he makes you think that.”
You smile, and he grins, before raising your hand and kissing your knuckles gently.
“I love you, Spence.” You say gently.
Spencer’s eyes widen and he coughs into his fist, before clearing his throat and smiling back, squeezing your hand again. “Yeah. I love you too. Of course.”
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
The next morning, you wake up to a quiet house. Spencer was most likely still asleep, with it being a Saturday and only 9am.
Your ribs hadn’t bothered you for quite a while and you felt a little more pep in your step when your black eye has completely faded. You felt more like yourself.
You open your phone as you wait for the coffee machine, humming under your breath. You stop sharply when you check Slack, and find a 15 minute video from Erin Dougal, sent at 10pm last night. The first message in response is from Angela, sent two hours ago.
Angela Giarratana: Oh hell no
Chanse McCrary: Wtf
Damien Haas: So straight up lying is his new go to
Amanda Barnes: Meeting first thing Monday morning guys
Amanda Lehan-Canto: Has anyone messaged Y/N?
Rayne Darling: yeah
That last message was sent less than five minutes ago. You sigh as you swipe out of Slack and open messages. There were three unread. Rayne was the first.
Hey, don’t know if you saw his live, just checking how you are?
Then your production manager, Alexcina.
you probably saw the millions of messages on slack. just checking in
Then lastly from your Mom, sent last night just after you’d gone to bed.
Hello my sweet angel, give me a call, your mom misses you! Love you x
You laugh lightly and tuck your phone in your pocket, making a silent promise to call her at some point this morning before taking the coffee pot and pouring it into your mug. So. You’ll need to watch the video then. Probably all lies. But you needed to come up with something that Smosh can put out as a statement.
Just as you place the coffee pot back on the machine, Spencer comes around the corner, white shirt rumpled, mid-yawn.
“Morning.” You say with a smile. Spencer smiles tiredly at you, brushing past you and placing a gentle hand on your waist as he reaches for the coffee pot. Your skin burns under his touch and your stomach lurches.
“How’d you sleep?” He says, voice low and rumbling.
“Good.” You say with a grin, trying to fight of the disappointment when Spencer’s hand lifts away. “Think I’m almost fully healed. You won’t have to wince when you look at my face anymore.” You joke but Spencer frowns.
“I’ve never done that.”
You sigh and chuckle, blowing on your coffee before taking a sip. “It’s a joke, Spence.”
He shakes his head. “You’re beautiful. Don’t ever think you’re not.”
You scoff to hide the heat raising in your neck, all the way to your cheeks. It’s suddenly felt like you were on fire and you cleared your throat. “Have you checked Slack? The video?”
Spencer nods. “Watched it last night, after you went to bed.”
You sigh and take another sip, already feeling a headache form at the thought of the PR needed for this ‘scandal’. “And what did you think?”
“Think he’d give Pinocchio a run for his money.” He scoffs and you snort, shaking your head as you chuckle. “Left out the entire party fiasco. Basically said that you systematically lied about him to everyone in the company until they all hated him. Then played the pity card saying he still loved you despite everything you did he thinks deep down you’re a good person.”
You swallow and the lump in your throat doesn’t budge. “What do you think we should do?”
He sighs. “I don’t know. We haven’t had something like this since the whole Saige debacle…and that didn’t even involve Smosh.”
You look at him, trying to separate yourself and your emotions from the situation and look at it purely logistically. “What have the subscribers said?”
“Naturally, Reddit blew up.” He scoffs. “They’re leaning towards not believing him, but a disappointing amount are saying they don’t know you enough to know what you’re like.”
“And they’re right.”
Spencer’s head snaps to you, eyes wide. “What?”
“I know how we should address it.”
⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚
a/n: ya boi has ibs! was diagnosed 2 days ago so been dealing with that✊ just when i think things cannot get worse 😩anyways here’s part ten! lmk what you think or if you have any requested scenes because have 0 ideas— my mind is barren as are my bowls. love yall x
also just wanted to let you guys know…i BROKE MY LAPTOP 😭😭 i am sobbing i’ve had it for YEARS but THANK GOD everything’s backed up on ✨the cloud✨. only issue is i DESPISE writing on my phone so shit might be a lil slower because ya boi stevie cannae afford a new one rn LMAO
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