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Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions...

#parenting-tips

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits, and behavior. But how? And with controlled chaos ruling the day,...

#parenting-tips

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits, and behavior. But how? And with controlled chaos ruling the day, …

#parenting-tips

Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries s...

#fantastic parent

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits, and beh...

#parenting-tips

How to be a good role model for your child?

Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely. Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).

Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.

Remember that discipline is not punishment. Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in control.

Pick your battles. Kids can't absorb too many rules without turning off completely. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter -- that means no hitting, rude talk, or lying.

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Positive, or authoritative, parents value mutual respect and being a good listener.

Create Your Own Quality Time

Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.

Read books together every day. Get started when he's a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.

Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There's no better way for you to show your love.

Encourage daddy time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with Dad -- early and often. Kids with engaged fathers do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.

Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals -- like bedtimes and game night -- that you do together.

Not ready to throw away your kids' clothes or uncertain what to do with an unwanted crib bumper? These innovative parent hacks can give your kids' items a whole new life.

Be a Good Role Model

Be the role model your children deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do.

Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when she should apologize.

Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up trash around the neighborhood. Always tell the truth. It's how you want your child to behave, right? Kiss and hug your spouse in front of the kids. Your marriage is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds like. So it's your job to set a great standard.

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Respect parenting differences. Support your spouse's basic approach to raising kids -- unless it's way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your marriage and your child's sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own.

Know the Best Ways to Praise

Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, "You're great," try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, "Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience."

Cheer the good stuff. When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let him know how you feel. It's a great way to reinforce good behavior so he's more likely to keep doing it.

Gossip about your kids. Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child "catch" you whispering a compliment about him to Grandma, Dad, or even his teddy.

Trust Yourself

Give yourself a break. Hitting the drive-through when you're too tired to cook doesn't make you a bad parent.

Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something's wrong, chances are you're right.

Just say "No." Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become the Volunteer Queen at your child's school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.

Don't accept disrespect from your child. Never allow her to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If she does, tell her firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect.

Pass along your plan. Mobilize the other caregivers in your child's life -- your spouse, grandparents, daycare worker, babysitter -- to help reinforce the values and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank you and being kind to not whining.

Don't Forget to Teach Social Skills

Ask your children three "you" questions every day. The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going with questions like, "Did you have fun at school?"; "What did you do at the party you went to?"; or "Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?"

Teach kids this bravery trick. Tell them to always notice the color of a person's eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.

Acknowledge your kid's strong emotions. When your child's meltdown is over, ask him, "How did that feel?" and "What do you think would make it better?" Then listen to him. He'll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let him talk it out.

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Raise Grateful Kids

Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.

Don't raise a spoiled kid. Keep this thought in mind: Every child is a treasure, but no child is the center of the universe. Teach him accordingly.

Talk about what it means to be a good person. Start early: When you read bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being mean or nice and explore why.

Explain to your kids why values are important. The simple answer: When you're kind, generous, honest, and respectful, you make the people around you feel good. More important, you feel good about yourself.

Set up a "gratitude circle" every night at dinner. Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.

Don't Stress About Dinner

Serve a food again and again. If your child rejects a new dish, don't give up hope. You may have to offer it another six, eight, or even 10 times before he eats it and decides he likes it.

Avoid food fights. A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won't starve.

Eat at least one meal as a family each day. Sitting down at the table together is a relaxed way for everyone to connect -- a time to share happy news, talk about the day, or tell a silly joke. It also helps your kids develop healthy eating habits.

Let your kids place an order. Once a week, allow your children to choose what's for dinner and cook it for them.

Always Say "I Love You"

Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely. They're individuals. Say "I love you" whenever you feel it, even if it's 743 times a day. You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible.

Keep in mind what grandmoms always say. Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people.

Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now -- it will be over far too fast.

Boost Brainpower & Physical Activity

Teach your baby to sign. Just because a child can't talk doesn't mean there isn't lots that she'd like to say. Simple signs can help you know what she needs and even how she feels well before she has the words to tell you -- a great way to reduce frustration.

Keep the tube in the family room. Research has repeatedly shown that children with a TV in their bedroom weigh more, sleep less, and have lower grades and poorer social skills. P.S. Parents with a television in their bedroom have sex less often.

Get kids moving. The latest research shows that brain development in young children may be linked to their activity level. Place your baby on her tummy several times during the day, let your toddler walk instead of ride in her stroller, and create opportunities for your older child to get plenty of exercise.

How to be careful about your child?

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels

You want to be the kind of parent who takes the time to instill in your child good manners, habits, and behavior. But how? And with controlled chaos ruling the day, every day, when? Relax: Good parenting happens in real time, on the spot, and in the moment. The trick is recognizing those moments when your actions and reactions can help your child learn and grow in the best possible ways. Here's help from top parenting experts—and a few real moms.

Be Careful of Comparisons—and Labels

Your best friend's 8-month-old son is babbling, while your daughter, at 9 months, is silent by comparison. Is there something wrong with your child? While it's never a bad idea to express your concerns to your pediatrician, don't equate developmental milestones with developmental deadlines. "Babies develop so rapidly that one set of abilities is bound to develop faster than another," says Harvey Karp, MD, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block (Bantam), also available on DVD. "Look at your whole baby" when evaluating development, he suggests, a strategy that holds true for toddlers too: one 3-year-old may have fine-motor-control skills, handling a crayon with dexterity, for instance, while another may throw a ball better—and that's normal.

Taking into account the whole little person means factoring in temperament too. "It's important to consider who your child is, not just his age. For instance, if your child is naturally shy and quiet, it may be that he's not inclined to talk—not that he can't," Dr. Karp says. "Listen to him at play when he's alone. He may babble happily then."

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Among siblings, comparisons can lead to labels. "Our little scholar," you might say of your book-obsessed toddler, or "our wild child," of his energetic sister. Even labels meant to praise your children's differing abilities can be problematic. Siblings sometimes feel that if one brother "owns" the athlete label, the other brother isn't even going to try, for fear of falling short. And that "picky eater" label may fuel the very behavior you'd like to discourage. Sure, there'll be times when you'll find yourself describing your child's likes and dislikes. But when you do so, "reframe" your words, Dr. Karp suggests: try "energetic" (not "wild"), "spirited" (not "hyper"), and "careful" (not "shy").

2. Walk the Talk

Kids watch your every move, and, especially for babies and very young children, parental behavior proves to be far more powerful than words. "You are actually teaching your baby something every minute of the day—whether you intend to pass along a lesson or not," says Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums & Tears (McGraw-Hill). "From how you handle stress to how you celebrate success to how you greet a neighbor on the street, your baby is observing you and finding out how to respond in various situations."

Julie Hughes, of Wilton, Connecticut, was touched when she observed her daughter Amelia, who was 23 months at the time, lovingly mothering her doll, after the birth of Amelia's sister, Jane. "I found Amelia with a pillow on her lap and her baby doll laid across it, pretending to nurse her," recalls Hughes, who was relieved that Amelia was learning about caring for others even without Hughes—who was busy with three under the age of 4—consciously teaching that lesson. "Just having your baby with you as you go through your days provides great opportunities to teach him about life," Pantley says.

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3. Let Your Child Make Mistakes

Your 2-year-old is building a tower, and you see that the block he's about to place on top will cause it to come crashing down. Anxious to avoid the crash (and ensuing tears), you stop him from adding the block, explaining that sometimes "one more is one too many." While you're right to prevent accidents that could cause harm, allowing your child to learn from his errors instills the lesson at hand better than an explanation ever could, says Christopher Lucas, MD, an associate professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine, in New York City.

At a very basic level, this kind of mistake helps a child understand cause and effect. But it's also more emotionally healthy to let your child experience disappointment sometimes—especially in the form of a toppled block tower—instead of shielding him from any and all negative events, Dr. Lucas adds.

Similarly, when your baby is mastering how to use a sippy cup or your toddler is learning to dress himself, experts like Dr. Lucas encourage parents to let mistakes happen. Lillian Valentine Hope, mother of 18-month-old Lauren, remembers her daughter's first attempts to drink water from a cup. "The first time, she started gagging a little. My first impulse was to panic and grab it from her," says Hope, who lives in Brookfield, Connecticut. "But I chose instead to say 'It's okay' and 'Let's try it again!' After a few rounds of trial and error and soaked shirts, she was successful." Dr. Lucas says there's good reason for this: "Children learn best on the edge of failure—that's where the challenge is and where there's the most opportunity for growth."

4. Do Nothing

In fact, let your kids be bored, says psychologist Michael Gurian, author of Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality (Jossey-Bass). "Their identities emerge when they are left to their own devices. They pick up a pencil and draw or go out in the backyard. They follow their own dreams and thoughts. The activity will be self-directed and will foster self-direction," says Gurian, who adds that this holds true for even young toddlers—although they will need both supervision and a little support, especially if they tend to fuss and quarrel when they're their own. Set out tools and toys to tempt them: art supplies or a big cardboard box for making a house, for instance.

Mother of two Nina Becker, of Glen Cove, New York, describes the frenzy of activity surrounding the homecoming of her younger son, Kevin, whom the Beckers adopted at 18 months. "At first we were running around with tons of activities," says Becker of her efforts to acclimate Kevin to every aspect of his new environment. "But then it seemed both boys weren't happy with other kids around. I canceled all playdates. I stopped scheduling, so we could all have fun together on our own terms."

A couple of considerations for unplanned, at-home time: TVs and computers should be off-limits. But if your child suggests you play a game together, by all means say yes. "That's child-directed family time, and that's awesome," Gurian says. The bottom line: Strive for a balance between planned activities and downtime, and everyone—kids and parents alike—will be happiest.

5. Reconsider Your Use of Food to Comfort or Praise

Even the youngest baby will start to equate comfort with consuming if the bottle is always offered to quiet crying. So will the toddler who is habitually given apple juice after a fall or a cookie for good behavior, says Dr. Karp, who adds that what a child seeks—and what is important to give—is your attention, pure and simple.

"Even very young children are wired for social relations," Dr. Karp explains. For them, parental attention is about more than just "getting enough"—it means everything in the world to them. Your attaching a treat to the deal alters that perception. "You're demonstrating that an object or sweet has more merit and value than does a simple hug and a smile," says Dr. Karp, allowing that the occasional bending of this rule is to be forgiven. "Sure, pull out the big guns when you really need them. Your child has a tantrum in the grocery store? By all means, offer her a cookie. And it will really work then, because you haven't overused it."

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6. Look Behind "Bad" Behavior

At some point your child will break every rule you make. But if you react to each infraction with the same show of disapproval—Mommy's mad; he's in the time-out chair—he may not reach an understanding of what prompted the rule-breaking behavior in the first place.

Simply put, your child's "misbehavior" is a direct result of the fact that he cannot control his emotions—and it is one of parents' most important tasks to teach their children how to do just that. "Your child doesn't whine and have temper tantrums because he is trying to manipulate you. He isn't purposely being 'bad,'" says Pantley, who calls emotion-fueled outbursts on the part of very young children "biologically, psychologically, and absolutely normal."

So while you may well impose the appropriate disciplinary measure (that time-out, for instance), a calm and compassionate conversation is important too. Ask your child questions, and provide suggestions, Pantley suggests: "Your sister is crying because you took her bear. What will make her feel better? Do you think you can help her bear give her a hug?"

7. Trust Your Gut

Your intentions are good. In an effort to make the best choices for your child, you read up on how to impose just the right nap schedule, adhere to the appropriate amount of television viewing, and calibrate the best nutritional balance of protein, fats, and carbs. Trying to get it all right can be exhausting, and you're sometimes plagued with guilt that you haven't lived up to these standards. Sound familiar? The truth is, there are a lot of experts out there—and far too much advice, some of it conflicting. "No one knows your child better than you do," says Gurian, who encourages parents to trust their own instincts.

For example, do you sense intuitively that a baby music class will be difficult for your 10-month-old son, who wails when forced to sit still for even short periods? Then skip it. Ditto the reading-readiness software program that while loved by the neighbor's 3-year-old is not a hit with your own. "Your child may not enjoy instruction at the age of 3. She may get frustrated and turned off. Your gut may be telling you that she'd get more out of doing something else with her time: playing, for example," says Gurian, who encourages parents to avoid the trap of opting for too much too soon out of an anxiety that their children will "fall behind." And, good news: There's a benefit for you, too, in taking this approach. "When parents reclaim control over the decision-making process, they feel liberated," Gurian adds. "They knew what to do; it was in their gut somewhere."

8. Be Ready to Embrace Change

A baby who once loved an activity now rejects it. Parents can be quick to assume that something's wrong when, in fact, it may be that he's matured. While measuring your child's outward signs of growth in inches and on the scale, remember that he is making strides on the inside too—emotionally and cognitively. The parents' role as their children evolve from infants to toddlers and beyond? To evolve right along with them.