ugly. @sticks-solo - Tumblr Blog

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

visenyaism

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

precision-instrument

Staying at a somewhat shitty hotel. Can’t get on the wifi. Tell the front desk. They have no IT support so the desk guy just gives me the admin password. Tells me “that should work. It’s just you and me using it.” Imagining the two of us skipping through the world wide web holding hands

catchymemes

grecoromanyaoi

sorry, i mythologized your boyfriend. yeah i took him and a few other boyfriends and merged them together with local folklore and mystic elements into one legendary figure. he's going to be really hard to pin down historically. sorry about that. I can make you his consort in some stories if that helps.

warriorsmurf

I'm finishing up this scream baby. A mood.

cosmonautroger

sumrot

aranock

This is good advice, but also why this picture?

biglawbear

It’s hard for two horses to be intimate when there’s an erupting volcano nearby. What’s not clicking

sonic-text-posts

45percenterthen

caving as an extreme sport is sooo unfathomable to me why are u as a creature of the daylight doing that. were u born without the dread in ur bones or something

45percenterthen

come 9 year olds let us sleep in the hell fissures where time goes to suffocate

gallusrostromegalus

Remember kids! the first step to not dying in a cave is not going into a fucking cave.

alphacrone

no one seems happier in life than those eccentric old ladies who wear all one color or collect frogs or have wacky hair colors and usually live alone with some funky pets and have weekly book club meetings with their equally amazing friends

osha-official-the-sequel

BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

cursed-and-haunted

Whenever I see an Ivan Aivazovski painting the sea monster in me goes absolutely feral

cursed-and-haunted

I see this and I've never wanted to sink a ship so much in my life I'm biting through wood as we speak

cursed-and-haunted

God if I saw this in person I'd straight up start slithering. Start writhing

ataehone

The way he just *clenches fist* makes water light up from the inside. Ugh, I once zoned out in front of one of his larger paintings in a gallery and came to, like, twenty minutes later, smelling saltwater and tasting driftwood.

This is his largest painting ever. It is 2,8×4,2 meters large. That is about 9'3"×14'1". It took him ten days to paint. This is a guy who painted normal-sized paintings in an hour, two, tops, according to contemporaries.

He was utterly unique.

beardedmrbean

absolutely could sell the daylights out of something like that, this feels brilliant to me

prokopetz

Things I have learned in today’s research binge:

All those old school Looney Tunes gags about randomly falling safes and pianos and such are actually based on something.

Back when freight elevators weren’t a thing and hallways and staircases didn’t have legally mandated minimum widths (and therefore tended to be as narrow as the builders could get away with making them), the only way to deliver bulky furniture to the upper levels of tall buildings was to knock a hole in an exterior wall and raise the item up to it with a crane.

Predictably, this led to the stupid things getting dropped from a height with fair frequency.

In spite of this, there are no records of any case in which a random bystander has been crushed by a falling safe or piano.

There is, however, at least one recorded case of a random bystander dying after walking straight into a hole left in the sidewalk by a safe that had fallen earlier that day.

I’m not sure why, but awful as it is, that last point may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.