killer bash (2005)
★★★½
SPOILERS**
But in all honesty this came out in 2005, and is a super random watch, so I think you’ve either already seen it, or never will.
Killer Bash is a Canadian made-for-TV movie, written and directed by David DeCoteau. Released in 2005, it has a 96-minute runtime and a 3.6/10 on IMDb. Yikes.
A little PSA before we begin; I loved Cory Monteith in Glee, and finding out this is where all of those angsty teen photos of him on Pinterest are from was incredibly exciting, so I’m definitely biased. He definitely shouldn’t have stayed an unknown actor.
Okay. I’m done fangirling, now to talk about the movie itself; Killer Bash.
Visually, the entire movie looks like they edited the flashback to 1975 in the beginning and then didn’t know how to change the filter. There’s this constant soft-focus blue that makes everything dramatic and gloomy. And honestly? I love it. A happy accident, as a favorite artist of mine used to say.
The soundtrack just adds to the insanity. Random techno music plays over half the movie’s dialogue—like the editor just forgot to turn it down. There are full conversations happening under aggressive “club in a basement” beats.
The movie follows Becky Jeckyl, a nerdy college student who finds a ring possessed by a student, Robert Hyde, who was killed on campus by bullies in 1975, and begins killing the sons of his muderers. Get it? Jekyll, Hyde?
Well, the joke wasn’t lost on me, although spelling Jeckyl like that had to be copyright avoidance.
However, from an outside, realistic, someone-who’s-not-a-fan-of-Cory standpoint, the plot for this movie is all over the place. But, if you have an issue with horror movies because they’re too scary (like me), watch this. It’s like the producers couldn’t decide between making it a romance or a horror, so they chose neither.
The ‘horror’ plot felt very secondary compared to Becky blossoming into herself (a result of her possession by Robert—but he was expressly shown as uber-nerdy, so I’m not sure why she gets all hot and confident after being possessed). She makes friends with the mean girls, joins a sorority, and (duh) gets recognized by the hot, nice, soccer fraternity guy, Doug Waylan Hart. Yes, that’s his name. It's the most developed part of his character besides being too hot and too poor to fly home for Christmas.
Killer Bash also sees Paula Shaw (Who you might know from such gems as The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas) in a supporting role as a college counselor who both Doug and Becky talk to. She’s weirdly hungry in this movie, pretty much stays on campus just to hang out with Becky and Doug, even hosts a Christmas “party” where she brings the booze and only the two of them are invited. Becky gets too drunk at this party, and it forces Doug to utter what I think is the cringiest line in cinema.
As for the greek life portion of the plot, (where the mean girls and Becky’s targets come from), the sorority and the frat have five members each, and apparently joining a sorority was as easy as planning a party in 2005? Joining the frat, or the “Delta Boys” as they are hilariously dubbed, was much more complex, requiring two recruits to practically drown in alcohol while shirtless, all while Doug stands there looking bored, like this is a normal Tuesday. (Becky watches this whole ordeal because she was hiding after spying on Doug while he’s sleeping.)
And let’s not forget to give a moment of appreciation to the one moment in the plot that had me guessing: Doug touching the evil possessed ring and not getting burned by it. (All four of the other boys who are the direct descendants of the killers are burned when they touch the ring.)
Turns out, he’s adopted, a little fact that ends up saving his life when Becky tries to kill him at the end of the movie. But forget Becky’s pitiful attempt, Doug definitely should’ve been spit-roasted when he throws the ring into this giant furnace, and he doesn’t even close the door. It really resembles more of a cremation chamber, ironically what it what used for in this movie.
Overall, I’m conflicted. Plot? Not great. Hot boys? Everywhere. The romance? Potential to be excellent, little to no execution. But the vibes? Immaculate.
If this had been a typical 2000s rom-com, it would easily be a cheesy ★★★★★. Doug (Cory Monteith) and Becky (Raquel Riskin) are seriously cute together, and it has all the typical early 2000s motifs;
The removal of glasses and the addition of some lip gloss to become uber-hot.
High-school jargon used in college, like calling someone a “loser.”
Hilariously bad CGI.
(Plus the oh-so-rare raven-haired main couple. I love a dark hair duo.)
Honestly, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It will definitely become a Halloween re-watch for me.
If you go into it expecting camp instead of coherence, it’s a fun, oddly sweet watch. Three-and-a-half stars feels right. Because it’s so bad, it’s an actual fun watch.