𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖙

𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 ♡𝔰𝔥𝔢/𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶/𝔱𝔴/𝔱𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶-𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱♡

[stinkydiet]

heyo heres my stats, i been stuck in this stupid ass cycle for god, almost 15yrs now 🫥 aint stopping anytime soon lmao im in hell

5' 5"/164cm

SW - 289lbs/131kg

CW - 136lbs/61.6kg

GW1 - 160lbs/72.5kg

GW2 - 150lbs/68kg

GW3 - 140lbs/63kg

UGW - 120lbs

(secret ugw 111lbs)

im fucking fat, i fucking hate myself, and i wish i could just be fucking happy.

[stinkydiet]

time to lock in once again now that my life has completely spiraled out of my control!!! its either this or sh and at this point we're gonna over achieve

[stinkydiet]

it feels so isolating being well into adulthood with a completely untreated ed

i don't fit in, still. it feels embarrassing, i feel like i should have figured this out by now

some days i feel okay but god forbid im depressed

my brain grasps for any fraction of control and the only thing that it finds is this. it's either this or a razor, and i suppose, ironically enough, this is easier to stomach for most.

[stinkydiet]

had a psych appointment for the first time in almost 12 years and i immediately regretted it and wish i was dead

[stinkydiet]

cant believe im 136

i actually hardly believe that number considering i started this shit at 289

the feeling of my own bones is still shocking, like holy shit i did that

i finally fucking did that

[stinkydiet]

bro i should've known seeing estranged family would send my ed brain into fucking nitro mode

[ju6iter]

tt: @secretsecret.k

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[stinkydiet]

do you guys think ill ever accept that maybe im just not worth the effort lol

[stinkydiet]

actually going insane from the amount of emotional distress ive been in this past week with absolutely no outlets to channel into

a horrible reminder to myself that no one will ever fucking get it or care to listen long enough to begin to understand

i try so hard to keep it together, to function, to still be there for every person i care for in my life. while simultaneously drowning in what feels like a never ending pit of fucking sludge

its easier to deal with suffocating than attempt to ask for help and get met with annoyance or be dismissed or just flat out ignored. almost 30 years and im still begging for the reassurance and comfort i was denied as a child. fucking crazy.

[mentallyunstablebaddie]

The feminine urge to slam your head against the desk untill blood is all over it

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

when I forget to stay busy for one second and suddenly I get a wave of everything that has ever hurt me.

[brdrlneprsnltydsrdr]

[stinkydiet]

also happy one year binge free let's fucking go chat

[stinkydiet]

i got more skin chopped off chat

been maintaining at 140/145 for a couple months now and now my arms are SMALL and my boobs are SMALL i could fucking cry

i just wish it was possible for me to do my whole body

my thighs and lower body are so bad, id be 10 or 15lbs lighter if i could get rid of all this skin

[stinkydiet]

I FUCKING DID IT LETS FUCKING GO I HIT 140!!!!

[stinkydiet]

i actually cannot believe ive lost 141lbs holy fuck does it feel good