i dont exist

i have spent my life resisting the urge to end it

[stopmyheartbeat]

hahaha whats the point honestly if at the end of the day im crying alone and i have to deal with my anxiety alone

[stopmyheartbeat]

i had to fight thru 2 panic attacks and wtv else i had to go thru all for it to be like this?

[stopmyheartbeat]

i always fcking do this to myself

[stopmyheartbeat]

but you are not.

[stopmyheartbeat]

idk how to control them

[stopmyheartbeat]

what do i do abt these thoughts

[stopmyheartbeat]

its true, in the dead of the night is when u notice u r most alone

[stopmyheartbeat]

how fcking stupid it is that at this age i still am fighting myself and resisting the urge to end it all huh

[stopmyheartbeat]

nobody cares rly

[stopmyheartbeat]

man it sucks

[stopmyheartbeat]

pls dont spiral pls dont spiral

[stopmyheartbeat]

some nights are harder than others huh

[stopmyheartbeat]

i dont see it i just dont

[stopmyheartbeat]

im trying im rly trying

[ramblingmindofrayyan]

Sometimes it’s really lonely being me.

[thoughtcascades]

person: “wtf is wrong with u?”

me: u mean today or like in general?

[fromwinter]

Somewhere, I am alive. Not here—where this body burrows into itself, but somewhere else. Where the sinew knows what’s expected and is grateful. There—I dance, and it does not hurt. I move without thunder in my chest. I’m free to go out softly, into the rest of it, and live and live and live.

— From Winter, ‘Not Here’