Magnetar

the darkest moment right before the sunrise

[strangelyhonestfragment]

thet feeling when you learn that you are adopted because of your colorblindness and biology lessons:

yup. cool cool cool. nice. very nice. uh-huh. now excuse me, I need to make a phone call. and maybe commit a felony. I haven't decided yet.

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[sillybillytime]

Being trans is like being given a house that sucks. The pipes are leaky and the wallpaper is so ugly and the beds are lumpy and you feel uncomfortable every time you set foot in there.

Everyone else seems to really like their houses though, and you can’t see inside of them, so you just assume that you’re being weird.

And then you hear about the construction project that’s happening down the road. And you didn’t know that was an option. You can just…fix your house? It can be better? You don’t have to live with the horrible lighting and weird furniture?

But other people scoff at the construction. They complain about the noise. “Why can’t they just be happy? The plumbing is great and the furniture is so comfortable! Why would you change it? And why do we have to deal with all their issues anyways? They could just do it quietly, away from us!” And you thought everyone hated their houses, at least a little. And it’s so much work to renovate. It’s fine in your house. It sucks, but it’s fine.

Then one day you try putting up a new painting. Something small. Just for you. Just to try it. And it feels like you. It feels right. And you didn’t know anything felt that good, ever. So you start to do more. And more. And eventually you might even start construction. And it’s inconvenient, and loud, and people complain, but you didn’t know that it could feel good to go home.

And then, one day, your renovations are done. And you get to have a home like everyone else. And that joy you felt looking at that painting? It’s everywhere now. And it’s normal.

It’s hard to build the home for your soul all on your own. But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it

[ryan-sometimes]

Relistening to TMA and being able to catch every time Martin tweaks out over anyone interacting with Jon is so funny. The most unnecessary jealousy of all time considering that Martin’s the only person in this universe who even wants him. Girl wake up everyone around you finds him anywhere between mildly annoying to fully insufferable. Classic case of “I don’t want your man, I don’t even know why YOU want your man”

[pipperinclassic]

Ok, I know Martin isn’t a “Lead”, but I just find it funny that he crushed on his boss so hard that he tripped into the center of the horror apocalypse.

[corpzeintoxicated]

DEATH TO GENERATIVE AI . THE FUTURE IS FLESH .

[iseeyouinultraviolet]

[dragongirlteeth]

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

[dragongirlteeth]

I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I'm skipping past your sponsor read. I'm muting the tv. I'm muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.

If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible

[tim-alienguy]

Hey guys I think I figured oit how the christmas likes work.

For me what is shown seems to be linked to the time of day I like the post

6(?) am-12 pm- gloves

12 pm-5(?) pm- snowman

6pm- ???- aurora

[therkalexander]

Anti-AI Hot tips:

If you’re looking something up and remember a page or article you saw one time that perfectly answered your questions before the internet was buried in AI slop:

Open Duck Duck Go

Enter your search term

In search tools, set the date range from 1993 to 2022

Bask in AI-free results and images

Another method for even briefer information searches, or ones that require data from the last three years:

Open Wikipedia and search there

Donate to Wikipedia

Donate again

Donate again because they are one of the last flickering candles in the misinformation darkness

Or go to your local library.

[cranberry-branflakes]

"iF yOu HaVe SeNsOrY iSsUeS fOr NoIsE, hOw cAn YoU LiStEn To LoUd MuSiC oN hEaDpHoNes?"

maybe because its MY music and I can control the volume instead of being tortured?

[hotcryptidsummer]

Dom!Jon drives me insane every single day and yet it is a hot take in the fandom.

Please... he is such a sadist. He feels guilty about it, of course. That's what makes it so juicy. He loves control he loves forcing people to do things and say things and invading their privacy. He enjoys feeding on people's fear so of course he enjoys causing pain and being in control.

Using his Archivist powers on people gives him a rush. I just... its Canon and I'm amazed that very few people apply this to shipping contexts. I know he's a wet cat but he's a wet cat that enjoys degrading people.

If I'm going full analysis with this let's do it right:

His interactions with Jude Perry are particularly revealing in this regard. She is certainly a sadist and a masochist, the way she enjoys pain and terror is pretty explicit. And in episode 169 "Fire Escape" they have this conversation

"I want to hear you say it. Willingly." His sadism and dominant nature here is soooo obvious (and I need him biblically but thats not the point-)

Jude calls him out on it too.

The Archivist finally admits to himself in season 5 how much he enjoys it. His arc of letting go of his humanity is soooo tasty. He becomes a voyeur of fear.

It's a pet peeve of mine, the fandom infantilising Jon. What I love about his character, my favourite part, is his arc around humanity and the corruption of power. I'm not trying to judge others, I just wish more people saw the potential in his sadism and ran with it, as a resident freak.

Perhaps some of this comes from a sentiment I've discussed with a couple different tma fans- most people seem to prefer the earlier seasons. I've met several people who are tma fans but haven't listened to episode 200 because it is the end of it, because of what happens in it. But God... its my favourite episode. And it gives me feelings.

Specifically jonelias feelings.

I mean we know this already, I wrote a fic of this episode from Elias' perspective. But it's so fucking hot.

It's maybe unsurprising that the hannigram and devil's minion shipper who self identifies as an avatar of the flesh finds it hot when Jon stabs Elias but... guys. Please I need you to be infected with my brain worms.

[justatiredghost]

Tremble ao3

Jonah Magnus’ ritual had failed, just barely, and now John and Martin have to deal with the fallout and the terror and dread that comes with knowing his plan.

-

John couldn’t stop shaking. He wondered distantly if he was going into shock, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Martin was fussing, wrapping him in a blanket. He wanted to tell him not to bother, but he knew that would just upset him. Didn’t he see now that he wasn’t worth all this?

He’d almost ended the world. He’d read out Jonah Magnus’ statement, and he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He had felt all that pain and terror flowing through him and he had been so certain that it was going to work, but for some reason it had just— stopped. 

Well, he had a theory as to why, but it wasn’t an encouraging one. He was a ticking time bomb. He was a living threat to all humanity and it was all his fault, every idiotic choice bringing him closer to this. He’d thought he was a monster, but it was worse than that, more than that. He didn’t deserve comfort, he didn’t even deserve to live. 

Martin pressed a mug of tea into his hands, and he didn’t have the heart to tell him that you shouldn’t give victims of shock anything to drink. Martin was just trying to help. For some reason. He could see it behind Martin’s eyes, he was terrified of him. He should have just left him on the floor where he’d found him. 

But then, maybe he was keeping an eye on him, making sure he wasn’t idiotic enough to try reading something else. He felt bile rise in his throat at the thought. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to read again. Or did he? Because a part of him had liked it. It felt good, it felt right. And that knowledge was nearly enough for him to try to bash his own head in on the spot, but he couldn’t. 

After all that, was he still too much of a coward? Was he really going to cling to life, too afraid to die, and risk dooming the world? 

“Martin, that’s enough,” he said as he began bringing pillows over, as if that might somehow help. 

“Right, yeah,” Martin said, staring down at the pillows as if he was just realizing how useless they were. He still brought them over as he sat down beside him. He was silent for a long moment before trying to speak again. “How— are you?”

That won a terrible, bitter laugh from John. “Oh, fantastic.” He didn’t know what else he was supposed to say. 

“You’re still shaking,” Martin said. 

He reached out to touch him, probably to rub some warmth back into him, or maybe to pull him closer. John couldn’t help it, he hated himself for it so much, but he flinched, and Martin quickly drew away. 

“You shouldn’t—“ John began, wanting to explain himself, to assure him it wasn’t because of him, but he cut himself off. 

He wasn’t sure he could bear to listen to Martin trying to defend him. He didn’t deserve anything good, and it would sound so hollow. Would it be worse or better if Martin instead agreed? It would be simpler, at least. But when were their lives ever simple?

“Sorry,” Martin said, and he mentally kicked himself, because of course he was messing this all up. Martin had no reason to apologize, and here he was making him feel like he did.  

“No, it’s fine,” John said quickly, wishing he was better at all of this. But then, if he was, he wouldn’t be a monster and this wouldn’t be necessary to begin with. 

“It’s really not,” Martin said with a hysterical little laugh. “You almost— he almost—“

“No, I almost,” John said. “You had it right the first time.”

“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” Martin said, still stubbornly refusing to put the blame where it belonged, where it had always belonged. “It was Elias. Jonah Magnus, whatever. This wasn’t your fault.”

John would have laughed had he had any strength to do so. Instead, the bile rose in his throat again and it took everything in him to swallow it back down.

“I rather think it was,” John said, unable to look him in the eye. “He never forced me to do anything. Every Mark was my own fault, my own choice.”

He’d chosen all of this every step of the way. He thought he’d done everything to try to help people, but how true was that? Was it just his greed, his ever-growing hunger for knowledge for the Eye? Did he justify everything in his own mind so he could still do all of the terrible things he wanted to?

“No, it wasn’t,” Martin said. “You heard him, he orchestrated all of it. And he made you read his statement. But it didn’t work. It failed, just like all the other rituals. It never could have succeeded.”

“Or,” John said, much too calm when all he wanted to do was scream. “That fifteenth Fear of yours has already Become and I still need one more Mark.”

“No,” Martin said, force behind the word, like he was trying to convince himself as well. “No, that’s not possible. It can’t have just happened and no one noticed.”

“I don’t know,” John said, dropping his head in his hands. “It— certainly felt like it almost worked. All that power— all that terror…”

“But so did everyone else who tried a Ritual,” Martin pressed, almost desperate. “Otherwise they wouldn’t keep trying. Right?” 

“I don’t know,” John said again, because he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t have the answers, and he could tell how frustrated that made Martin, but he didn’t know how to fix this. 

Maybe there was no fixing anything. Maybe things were only going to get so much worse. Martin could finally see him for the monster he’d become, and Jonah Magnus would likely send the new Fear after him. 

“I should—“ John began, moving to stand, unsure exactly what he was going to do, just knowing he had to do something, anything. 

“No,” Martin interrupted, hand on his shoulder like he was prepared to wrestle him down. “What you should do is rest. Just take a moment, for Christ’s sake.”

“Martin, I’m not going to go off and doom the world again immediately, I just want to get the broom.” The windows had exploded. There was still glass. The least he could do was clean up. 

“I’ll deal with it,” Martin said. “But you look like you’re about to pass out.”

He raised a hand, asking permission, and John nodded. He didn’t know how to make him see that he didn’t deserve this, so he wouldn’t stop him. He was too weak, too pathetic. He wanted that warmth, he wanted to be close to Martin and feel his comfort, even if he knew he shouldn’t. 

“Not afraid to touch me, then?” John asked,  because he could never drop anything. But then, maybe he wanted a fight. Maybe he wanted Martin to yell at him. It was something he could understand at least. 

“What, are you worried you’re hot to the touch after that?”

“Martin,” he said, because he was too tired for this. He knew, he was just being difficult. 

“What?” Martin asked, apparently stubbornly playing oblivious. 

“Surely you can see now that I’m just a monster, worse even than other avatars because I actually can doom the world. I need to be stopped—“

Without warning, Martin pulled him into a crushing hug. He held him against him, and John realized his hands were shaking too. 

“No,” Martin said, his voice thick with emotion. “No, you’re not.”

“Martin—“ he began, because denial was going to help anything. 

“No, you can’t say that, you can’t.”

“Even you’re afraid of me.”

“Never,” Martin said into his hair. “I’m only afraid for you, never of you.”

John just sighed, feeling so defeated. “What can I say, then?”

“You are constantly demonstrating everything I fell in love with from the very beginning. You’re still you. The only monster is Elias.”

“Jonah,” John corrected automatically. 

“Whatever,” Martin said, and he hugged him even closer, until it almost hurt, but John didn’t try to pull away. “You’ve been trying so hard, just because some evil prick tried to twist it, doesn’t invalidate everything you did. You saved Daisy.”

“And look where that got her.”

“And what about me?”

John stopped. Against his better judgement, he brought his hands up and wrapped them around Martin, as if the Lonely could still show up and rip him away. He supposed it probably could. Whatever else he’d done, saving Martin was the one thing he’d never regret. 

“What if I end up dooming the world?” John said into Martin’s shoulder, feeling tears in his eyes. “I could— everyone would—“

“I won’t let you,” Martin said with far more confidence than he thought was warranted. “And it still wouldn’t be your fault.”

“If I die—“ 

“No,” Martin interrupted with barely contained fury. “Shut up.”

“If I die,” John continued anyway. “The world would be safe.”

“And Jonah would just try again and torture someone else. You deserve to live.”

“Do I?”

“Yes,” Martin said, and he realized he was crying, a desperation in his voice that took him completely off guard. “You deserve to live, to be happy. I love you, please don’t make me do this alone.”

And how could he ever deny Martin anything? He was crying as well now, the grief and despair pouring out of him in jagged pieces, feeling like they were cutting up his heart, his chest. He couldn’t do this to Martin, but neither could he believe that he should be alive. 

“Why?” John asked. “Why do you keep loving me? When will you see I don’t deserve any of it?” 

“I haven’t seen anything that makes me think that,” Martin said. “Why can’t you value your own life?”

He didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one that would satisfy Martin, if he was stubbornly remaining blind to his monstrousness. But he would try, for Martin. He would try to live, to deserve to live. 

“I’m sorry,” John said, his chest aching as Martin sobbed against him. “I’ll try. I love you.”

Maybe they could kill Jonah Magnus. Maybe they could end the threat so they can live in peace. Maybe he could still gouge out his own eyes, sever himself from the eye so he couldn’t be used for a ritual any longer. 

He would try to live, he would be there for Martin. He was fairly sure that decision just made him even more of a monster, selfishly risking everything so he could have one more moment with Martin. But he didn’t know what else to do. 

He cried so hard his head ached, his throat hurt, and he was fairly certain it was the same for Martin. He still didn’t think he deserved this love, but he had it and he couldn’t hurt Martin. He couldn’t abandon him. So he stayed, wrapped tightly in those strong arms, both of them trembling apart, and wondered where things could go from here. 

[ifyourlookingfora-sign-thisisit]

SEASON TWO FINISHED!

And it was even better than the first. The storyline, the characters, the emotions it evoked! This series is quicksand and I am already six feet under. I'm so invested that I have started a notebook to keep tabs on everything. A NOTEBOOK! I think I am becoming a horror junky. Oh well. It had to happen some time!

Under the cut is a bunch of wacky tacky spoilers!! Read at your own risk newbies!

I have sufficiently documented the second season and onwards because guess whose crazy now!? I swear I'm taking crazy person notes on each episode like I'm in school.

Jon your coworkers are not trying to kill you you utterly insane lunatic! Someone please let this poor paranoid wreck of a man SLEEP! Highlights from this season: This man never stops. I mean, from breaking and entering to trusting no one, to exploring the tunnels with a fucked up leg--how is he still alive? Honestly, HOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT IS EXCEPTIONALLY EASY TO PURCHASE AN AXE IN CENTRAL LONDON? Watching him push people away this season though was heart breaking. I fear that they are going to get hurt anyways Jon, either in your presence of not.

Tim is a diva. A bisexual diva at that. I can feel his exhaustion in my bones and sometimes it be pissing me off. Like chill man, you definitly do not have it the hardest! Avid complainer this one.

MARTIN YOU POOR SOUL. You don't hear from him nearly at all this season, and when you do he's crashing out! Which is completely valid. I see you!! He's over here giving his life and soul for a man who is so oblivious and out of it, its painful. Everything in this season felt more on edge and its making me nervous...

Dang the table got lore. Also TWO cannibal episodes! How lucky am I! I love horror, but I especially love physical horror, and MAG is a bit more focused on creature horror. I love it though!

Mary Kaey is scary. Gerad is okay actually. MICHAEL is an interesting little guy, and I can't decide whether I love him or hate him.

I FUCKING HATE ELIAS!! I want to kill him with hammers!! Or pipes! What is it with this show and beating people/things with metal pipes?

The finale was intense. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. It was amazing! Gertrude Robinson, I do not know how to feel about you, but I don't think its good.

At the time I'm writing this I have actually already started season three and oh my gosh I am astounded at how it improves and reveals the story each episode! Thank you to anyone who actually braved my writing to get to the bottom, it means a lot :) Sometimes I feel like I'm just posting into the void, which isn't a bad thing, but I do enjoy it when the void yells back. Only three more seasons to go before I can safely unblock the TMA tags! Onwards!

[evilwickedme]

Jon Sims as a dnd character

Jon is a level 11 warlock with a fiend patron, as that was the closest to the Eye as I could get with the available options. His pact is pact of the tome, which allows him to cast additional cantrips and relates to me to the mysterious books often collected by Leitner. The cantrips he receives as a result are guidance, resistence, and vicious mockery.

His eldritch invocations include devil's sight, which gives him normal sight in darkness (which is better than darkvision, which washes everything in gray), eldritch sight which allows him to cast detect magic at will, gaze of two minds which allows him to essentially possess another creature's senses, misty visions which allows him to cast silent image at will, and eldritch mind, which gives him advantage on rolls for keeping concentration on a spell. You may notice a theme in the names here.

As a feat, he took observant, which ups his intelligence score and gives him a +5 to passive perception and passive investigation, making his passive investigation into a whopping 23, although his passive insight remains quite low at 11. In general Jon is a high CHA, high INT, low WIS character, although his weakest skill is strength. At level 11 he received true seeing as a boon from his patron, which he can cast once a day without expending a spell slot.

He is a variant human with the starting feat of linguist, and his background is a homebrew I found called archivist, which gives him the ability to know the original value of any artefact as a background feature. All in all, he can speak six languages as well as cast comprehend languages.

Among his notable spells are mind sliver, cause fear and fear, and scrying. I tried to stick to spells that correlate with his powers as an archivist in the original podcast.

This character was made on dndbeyond but I'm willing to download the character sheet and send it to anyone on request.

[taylemo]

does anybody want this list of tma fear slurs i made a while back. take it

buried:

choker

hole digger

dirt muncher

corruption:

crawler

wriggler

rotrider

it’s unusually hard to come up with corruption slurs. they are probably insulted a lot though. the people are not nice to corruption avatars

dark:

nightlight knockers

shadow sissies

sandman

photon phonies

desolation:

slow-cookers

toasters

(just call them a food heating kitchen appliance. the ones above are funniest to me tho)

gloom glazer

wax collector

lonely:

fogger

castaway

forlorner

(also difficult??)

the end

memento moron

termanus

gravegripper

bucket kicker

the eye:

peeper

eyediot

lurker

CCTdweeb

for archives: fear thrifter

the flesh:

meat munchers

rawdoggers

bonerturner

faGUTS

gorewhore

the hunt:

apex redditer

bloodhounds

ripper

any derogatory word for a cop lowk

slaughter:

sniper piper

nemesissies

grifters boner

spiral:

twister

fractalfreak

mind masher/brain breaker

stranger:

clowners

circus freak

masker

Not!Smart/Not!Cool/really many variations of this one.

vast:

vertigooner

cumulonimrod

thunder fumbler

The Falling Tit

this doesn’t sound like a slur but it’s funny:

ex altiora bitch (ex alti you’re a bitch hah get it)

web:

spinner

arachmids

spider-man

stringer

extinction:

i think that in universe the extinction is the most likely to be called slurs, as its newly emerging and its existence is widely disputed. that being said i can’t think of many good slurs for it. people would use a lot of fraud/faker insults towards it tho.

depends on the avatar, but presumably a lot of extinction manifestations would be robot/ai. so you could use any robot slurs on them.

doomsday preachers

heat death hooligans

pandemonium posers

armaggedunce

the ends woke cousin

[discosfish]

The Eye opens - MAG 160

cw: big eye(?) also spoilers ofc