Mal

Aesthete | Hannibal | TVD | Mindhunter | TWD | Steppenwolf

[olearypoetry]

O. Leary

[strangr-ish]

He closed his eyes. The darkness felt healing. Life had been so busy. All that effort. For what? Nothing.

Killing Me Slowly - Nicci French

[strangr-ish]

When I love it is so deep and intense like a demon trying to possess the other person I want to undress their soul consume their every essence. I am an ocean storm a beautiful raging yet often calm force that is a scary yet exciting thing to love. I miss him so much every part of me is aching in a pain like the strongest grief. 

[strangr-ish]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IGmYDJKJhU

[strangr-ish]

A Walk Through Forest Trees

I can’t stop crying. All I want to do is sink into the peaceful oblivion of sleep because every time I wake there is that haunting feeling, that realization that they are gone and never coming back. Its a nightmare I have to relive over and over. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write, my eyes are burning I can taste the salt on my wet lips. I never thought I would ever be able to love someone with such an intensity but I met him and he captured my heart, mind, soul. It was so natural and effortless with him, it felt so right like nothing ever before. He is my dream man so perfectly imperfect, designed as if just for me alone. Even the way he spoke, the words he used and the space in between it was like there was no difference between him and I. We were the same and yet different, a balance like yin and yang. Everything about him turned me on, he made me feel alive, I felt wild, almost insane being around him. But we were both addicted to each other in a way that became unhealthy. He said he believes we are soulmates but it is the wrong time. He said he is not focusing on life anymore, he is hiding, he hasn’t been sleeping or eating, he has been ignoring everything. And I am the same. It was a decision so hard to make we both cried and he said he was dying inside. I thought I would always be doomed to a fate like the Steppenwolf, alone, a vagabond but then I met him and I had hope but he’s gone and I feel utterly ruined and absurdly lost again in this indifferent universe its a pain that is almost unbearable. I will never stop loving him. I feel like I’m dying. I have had terrible sleep, fitful tossing and turning when I wake I am reliving the nightmare my brain screaming NONONONONO. I keep hearing his beautiful words, his kindness, his love over and over its stuck in my head like a tragic broken record taunting me. I just want him to beg for me back tell me he needs me to do something anything so that we can be together but I know that its crazy and I’m not living I’m avoiding life or at least existing only in my subterranean desires and fantasies. We were both fucked up, drunk on love, on the feeling of finally belonging to another. He made me completed intoxicated I was no longer a person but a slave to the urges, dreams, longings I experienced with him. Ironically from the start my nickname for him was heartbreaker and as sick twisted fate would have it that is what he has become as here I am with my heart shattered in pieces...

[strangr-ish]

June-August ‘19

Venus, The Wolf

Mate BlOoDyFaCe...this image depicts loss, grief, a bleeding heart.

[sweet-thoughtt]

[madeofsushi]

[heather--moors]

The Louvre in the rain

6.5.19

[sryls]

[strangr-ish]

Children of Men

9/10

Omygosh I was so close to crying in this coz it just got me real emotional at one point. Amazing film and soo beautiful and moody. I loved Clive in this and honestly the cinematography I aspire to be exactly that brilliant at capturing a moment and creating a stunning mosaic of time. Highly recommend and would watch again.

[strangr-ish]

French. Male. Bliss.

Last Dance

Oh my Sweet suffering 

Oh ma douce souffrance 

Why bother you again 

Pourquoi s'acharner tu recommence 

I am only an unimportant being 

Je ne suis qu'un être sans importance 

Without him I'm a bit of a painter 

Sans lui je suis un peu paro 

I walk alone on the subway 

Je déambule seule dans le métro 

A last dance 

Une dernière danse 

To forget my immense sorrow 

Pour oublier ma peine immense 

I want to run away, everything to begin again 

Je veux m'enfuir que tout recommence 

Oh my Sweet suffering

Oh ma douce souffrance

I move the sky the day, the night 

Je remue le ciel le jour, la nuit 

I dance with the wind the rain 

Je danse avec le vent la pluie 

A bit of love a bit of honey 

Un peu d'amour un brin de miel 

And I dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance 

Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse 

And in the noise, I run and I'm scared 

Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur 

Is it my turn? 

Est-ce mon tour? 

Comes the pain 

Vient la douleur 

Throughout Paris, I abandon myself 

Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne 

And I fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly

Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole

What hope 

Que d'espérance 

On this path in your absence 

Sur ce chemin en ton absence 

I'm working hard, without you my life is just a shining decor 

J'ai beau trimer, sans toi ma vie n'est qu'un décor qui brille 

Meaningless

Vide de sens

I move the sky the day, the night 

Je remue le ciel le jour, la nuit 

I dance with the wind the rain 

Je danse avec le vent la pluie 

A bit of love a bit of honey 

Un peu d'amour un brin de miel 

And I dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance 

Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse 

And in the noise, I run and I'm scared 

Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur 

Is it my turn? 

Est-ce mon tour? 

Comes the pain 

Vient la douleur 

Throughout Paris, I abandon myself 

Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne 

And I fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly

Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole

In this sweet suffering 

Dans cette douce souffrance 

I paid for all the offenses 

Dont j'ai payé toutes les offenses 

Listen as my heart is immense 

Écoute comme mon cœur est immense 

I am a child of the world

Je suis une enfant du monde

I move the sky the day, the night 

Je remue le ciel le jour, la nuit 

I dance with the wind the rain 

Je danse avec le vent la pluie 

A bit of love a bit of honey 

Un peu d'amour un brin de miel 

And I dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance 

Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse 

And in the noise, I run and I'm scared 

Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur 

Is it my turn? 

Est-ce mon tour? 

Comes the pain 

Vient la douleur 

Throughout Paris, I abandon myself 

Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne 

And I fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly

Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole

[honeyou-deactivated20220922]

[strangr-ish]

Rain

[akamatthewmurdock]

[strangr-ish]

Brudos

[multiprises]

Episode 1, Mindhunter, 1.01

David Fincher (D), Joe Penhall (S), 13/10/17

[strangr-ish]

This series was brilliant. The 70s dark tone aesthetic really got to me but it wouldn't have been the same without solid acting, the insane game of dialogue, amazing cinematography and ofc David MF Fincher.

[strangr-ish]

This is so special 🖤

[detambled]

I’ve been staring at this gif for far too long. They were the cutes and purest of all the ships on the show. Ignoring all their troubles for a minute and dancing and kissing like nothing else matters in the world.