you can take the cat from the streets

thief extraordinaire, street kid, and one handsome devil

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Weird. Weird weird this is so weird and doesn’t make any sense. Jason bites down on his bottom lip, worrying it to redness as he thinks. 

“Okay,” he finally says. “Hartley, I’m your friend. My name is Jason. I t’ink I know where you live, an’ I can take you there if you want me to.”

Jason…

Jason, cats… It’s ringing some bells, but not enough to tell Hart whether those are warning bells or not.

“You seem kinda old to be my friend…”

He’s pretty damn sure normal Hartley is older than he is, but that’s beside the point right now. This Hartley is just a child - a very young, small child. 

“It’s okay to think t’at,” Jason says. “You should always be careful about adults t’at make you feel strange. If you want, I’ll walk wit’ ya, and take ya to where I t’ink your house is. We’ll just walk, okay?” 

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Turtle. Central City. Red hair. JJ. Impossible.

“Hartley?”

Alright. This wasn’t funny anymore. Too many people today knew that

Hart backed up quickly, back out of arm’s reach. “How do you know my name–?”

Weird. Weird weird this is so weird and doesn’t make any sense. Jason bites down on his bottom lip, worrying it to redness as he thinks. 

“Okay,” he finally says. “Hartley, I’m your friend. My name is Jason. I t’ink I know where you live, an’ I can take you there if you want me to.”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Jason laughs. “She is fuzzy, actually, she feels kinda like velvet because her hair is so short. She’s called a Sphynx, wit’ a y instead of an i. They’re almost totally hairless. So no, she didn’t freeze her fur off.” He opens up another picture.

“So sometimes, when she gets cold she has t’wear sweaters.” 

Oh.

He still wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. He decided, though, he really preferred his cats with hair. “Weird… No, my Turtle is all fuzzy.” He held up his hands to about Turtle-size, “And she seems to really like me and JJ, so I know she’s mine.”

Turtle. Central City. Red hair. JJ. Impossible.

“Hartley?”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Turtle. He knows someone that lives in Central with a cat named Turtle that also has copper red hair. But that… has to just be a coincidence. Right? Then again, Gotham is just known for the mentally fucked up - Bats usually keeps all that magic bullshit far away from the gargoyle guarded streets. 

“Well, I have six,” Jason says. He opens his phone, and flicks through the apps, opening up his pictures. “But this one is my favorite. Don’t tell the others, though, they’ll get jealous.”

“Her name is Blizzard, because I found her outside in the snow.”

Here he was, all ready to see a picture of a cute cat. He even dared to inch a little closer to Jason and peer over the top of the phone to see it upside-down. What should have been a smile was, instead, a nose scrunched in confusion as he looked up at the man.

“Why’s she funny looking? She’s–she isn’t fuzzy. Did she freeze her fur off?”

Jason laughs. “She is fuzzy, actually, she feels kinda like velvet because her hair is so short. She’s called a Sphynx, wit’ a y instead of an i. They’re almost totally hairless. So no, she didn’t freeze her fur off.” He opens up another picture.

“So sometimes, when she gets cold she has t’wear sweaters.” 

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

That smile is a hell of a lot better than that the fear. Not that a brown brick building is going to be much help, not in a city filled with brown brick buildings. 

Jason grins, planting his hands on his hips and saying, “They can have polka dots. Maybe I live in a polka dot house. Or maybe I live in a rainbow house. And I have cats too!”

“Uh-uh, I’ve never seen a polka-dot house,” He shook his head, as if that was the end-all, be-all to the argument. He’d never seen it, it didn’t exist.

The smile had faded again. It was clear there was something familiar he saw in this man, but not enough that Hart wasn’t apprehensive still. “…What’s your cat’s name? Mine is Turtle.”

Turtle. He knows someone that lives in Central with a cat named Turtle that also has copper red hair. But that... has to just be a coincidence. Right? Then again, Gotham is just known for the mentally fucked up - Bats usually keeps all that magic bullshit far away from the gargoyle guarded streets. 

“Well, I have six,” Jason says. He opens his phone, and flicks through the apps, opening up his pictures. “But this one is my favorite. Don’t tell the others, though, they’ll get jealous.”

“Her name is Blizzard, because I found her outside in the snow.”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

So somehow, this kid wandered outside of his building, and down the street, without anyone taking any notice of him. What the hell kind of guardian is he living with? 

Jason nods. “Okay, that’s good. And do you remember what your house looked like? Was it brown? Or maybe white.” He grins. “Did it have stripes or polka dots?”

“A big brown brick building.”

Hart glanced back quickly at him with a giggle, hidden by the hand against his mouth, “I like polka dots, but buildings don’t have polka dots.”

That smile is a hell of a lot better than that the fear. Not that a brown brick building is going to be much help, not in a city filled with brown brick buildings. 

Jason grins, planting his hands on his hips and saying, “They can have polka dots. Maybe I live in a polka dot house. Or maybe I live in a rainbow house. And I have cats too!”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

If he squints and thinks about it, there’s something familiar about this kid. It tickles the back of Jason’s mind, and darts away when he tries to grasp it. Oh well, he’ll either figure it out or get this kid back to his guardian and never think about it again. 

“Okay, your fort,” he says, pocketing his phone and straightening. The kid is pretty short. “Do you remember what it looked like? What the place it was at looked like? We can go lookin’ for it.” 

Now that got him out of his shell a little, bringing up something familiar. “There was a kitty! A little black and brown kitty, she really liked me–”

He brought his hand up to his lips, gently curled fingers resting against them as he looked around and thought about it, “A string of elephant lights… Video games! But it was in a building with lots’a other doors like ours.”

So somehow, this kid wandered outside of his building, and down the street, without anyone taking any notice of him. What the hell kind of guardian is he living with? 

Jason nods. “Okay, that’s good. And do you remember what your house looked like? Was it brown? Or maybe white.” He grins. “Did it have stripes or polka dots?”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Normal ten year olds lost in the city are terrified and need help, they aren’t carrying around a pocket knife and a chunk of scraped together cash to go pay the water bill because their parents are passed out or in jail. 

“Did you lose someone? I can help ya find’em, or I got a cell phone if you need t’call anyone.” Jason pulls out his cellphone and offers it up - with a tight grip. Ten year old him might’ve grabbed it and run. Phones these days are worth so much more than they used to be, Jason would’ve jumped at the chance for fifty or a hundred bucks for one.

With that offered phone staring him down, it became increasingly obvious to the child that he simply didn’t remember a single phone number. There was never anyone he needed to call.

Hart shook his head, “No–” A beat, before he remembered his manners, though he stuffed his hands in his pockets, shoulders up to his ears, as if he was going to dig his heels into the ground against using those manners, “Thank you–”

A small pout faded away as he glanced around them, “I just… Gotta find my fort again.”

If he squints and thinks about it, there’s something familiar about this kid. It tickles the back of Jason’s mind, and darts away when he tries to grasp it. Oh well, he’ll either figure it out or get this kid back to his guardian and never think about it again. 

“Okay, your fort,” he says, pocketing his phone and straightening. The kid is pretty short. “Do you remember what it looked like? What the place it was at looked like? We can go lookin’ for it.” 

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

He spies the kid from across the street, looking left and right, his eyes wide and tiny hands clenched together. Scared. Jason’s across the road before he knows it, bending down to look the kid in the eye, hands on his knees. 

“Hey buddy,” he says gently. “You okay?”

If he wasn’t worried before, he was now.

Hart stepped back from the man looming over him, stooped over to speak. He’d never actually prepared himself for this scenario. Stranger danger or something like that, right?

“I’m–I’m–I’m fine–”

Normal ten year olds lost in the city are terrified and need help, they aren’t carrying around a pocket knife and a chunk of scraped together cash to go pay the water bill because their parents are passed out or in jail. 

“Did you lose someone? I can help ya find’em, or I got a cell phone if you need t’call anyone.” Jason pulls out his cellphone and offers it up - with a tight grip. Ten year old him might’ve grabbed it and run. Phones these days are worth so much more than they used to be, Jason would’ve jumped at the chance for fifty or a hundred bucks for one.

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

…I knew I shouldn’t have left the fort…

I’m lost…

He spies the kid from across the street, looking left and right, his eyes wide and tiny hands clenched together. Scared. Jason’s across the road before he knows it, bending down to look the kid in the eye, hands on his knees. 

“Hey buddy,” he says gently. “You okay?”

[straysavoirfaire]

vongolefujute:

straysavoirfaire:

“Do you know how much colder Gotham is than Central? Dude, cotton would not cut it when it’s 5 degrees outside, and you’re sittin’ on top of a buildin’ scopin’ out the jewelry store across the street.”

He’s not even going to comment on the butt plug - James wants him to, and he’s not going to.

“Besides, you ever heard of the KGBeast? Hold on.” Jason brings out his phone and does a quick google search for the infamously hairy Russian assassin, and turns it for James to see.

“An’ he ain’t wearin’ pants.” 

“Gramps wears a sweater?” 

He’s just gonna roll his eyes, huff out a sigh. ‘You ever heard of it’– seriously how many times do they gotta do this song and dance?  “Sooooo what you’re sayin’ is cause a dude you pulled off Leatherdaddy-dot-com does it, it’s totes cool to do it? ‘Cause I wear more’n that and I’m fine, sooo I’d be fine in Gotham.” 

Jason pulls back his phone, rolling his eyes. “One of these days I’m goin’ to throw you in the river. I hope you know that. I’ll do it old Gotham style, an’ trade out your flyin’ shoes for a nice pair of cement ones. Real vintage.”

[straysavoirfaire]

vongolefujute:

straysavoirfaire:

“How is this fetish gear? It’s neoprene and kevlar. It’s about as sexy as a divin’ suit with a bullet proof vest. How vanilla are you t’at my suit looks sexual?”

“We wear cotton? I think my tights got lycra in it.”

– “an’ I mean, we did just get that fox tail butt plug in last week? But it was mostly cause shippin’ was like $30 and we were so close to free.” 

“Do you know how much colder Gotham is than Central? Dude, cotton would not cut it when it’s 5 degrees outside, and you’re sittin’ on top of a buildin’ scopin’ out the jewelry store across the street.”

He’s not even going to comment on the butt plug - James wants him to, and he’s not going to.

“Besides, you ever heard of the KGBeast? Hold on.” Jason brings out his phone and does a quick google search for the infamously hairy Russian assassin, and turns it for James to see.

“An’ he ain’t wearin’ pants.” 

[straysavoirfaire]

“How is this fetish gear? It’s neoprene and kevlar. It’s about as sexy as a divin’ suit with a bullet proof vest. How vanilla are you t’at my suit looks sexual?”

[straysavoirfaire]

fuck it canon jason has a guitar in his room that tells us he knows how to play it

AC can play guitar too

why the hell not

[straysavoirfaire]

"Flower shop~" Though she didn't pay for them, if that's what you're asking.

“Make sure you pay for’em next time. Somebody worked hard to grow’em, cut’em, and arrange’em, you know.”

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

“Nooo not really.”

“I’ve only ever seen three people tell Bats what to do and he actually listened. One’s an alien, one’s a goddess, and one’s a very proper, stuffy Englishman I think was actually a spy. He never gives me a straight answer when I ask, though. But he totally has spy vibes.”

“So if he’s not his boss, this guy just walks onto a rooftop and turns on a light?How do you manage that promotion? ‘Gordon, your switch-flipping skills are remarkable. We’re putting you on the Bat Light.’“

“I don’t know him, but he’s absolutely a spy. Done and done.”

“I think he invented the bat light, actually. Guy should get a patent on that, make himself rich. Then he wouldn’t be huntin’ after me and Selina all the time, tryin’ to arrest us.” 

[straysavoirfaire]

malevolentmusician:

straysavoirfaire:

Jason laughs, caught on the image of bar mustached Jim Gordon souring through the air. 

“Commissioner Gordon. The guy that turns on the big bat nightlight an’ shines it up in to Gotham’s smog clouds to summon the big broody Batman.” And father of former Batgirl turned near omniscient Oracle. Not that Hartley needs to know that little detail. 

Barbie already hates him enough as it is. 

“Waitwaitwait hang on. Batman’s boss is a police commissioner?”

“Nooo not really.”

“I’ve only ever seen three people tell Bats what to do and he actually listened. One’s an alien, one’s a goddess, and one’s a very proper, stuffy Englishman I think was actually a spy. He never gives me a straight answer when I ask, though. But he totally has spy vibes.”