streihwai

an unofficial guide to an unique realm

[streihwai]

The curse of Robespierre

“Unfurl the sails and catch the wind,

Sail forever if the luck be kind,

Should I ‘er stop, the sea’s my bed,

And drowned maids’ arms around me twine.”

– from The Big Book of Traditional Malsueñon Sea Shanties

These are very different advertisements, from three very different eras, all about one family’s undying fascination with another family.

The Birth of Robespierre!

The Mayweather Family Players, the premier touring troupe of Bellettres, are proud to debut a fresh exciting play based on the classic tale of the Shuddersome Robespierre, pirate queen of lore!

Gasp as you witness the dreadful act of violence that drove young Colette into a life of depravity! Thrill at her masterful escapades upon the high seas! Cheer as she eludes the authorities again and again!

But, oh no! What’s this?! Swoon as Colette falls in love with a dashing young soldier pledged to protect the interests of the crown! Does their budding romance stand a chance on the high seas? Will Colette lower the red flag for her love or will the freedom of a pirate’s life prove too alluring for her?

Starring the conniving Roger Mayweather as Lord Marenhall, the romantic Niall Mayweather as Jean Mercier, and the enchanting Bhictoria Mayweather as Colette Robespierre! Attend the sensational new production that is sure to take all of Streihwai by storm!

The Curse of Robespierre!

As part of their imminent fall season, the Mayweather Gold Theater is proud to present a dramatic production with lavish musical interludes based on the legend of the cursed Robespierre family.

Chrétien Robespierre, grandson of infamous reformed pirate Colette Robespierre, arrives at the sleepy small town of La Chuparrosa with ambition in his eyes and determination on his brow. Under his guiding hand and entrepreneurial spirit, a burgeoning mining industry starts to form and an exuberant Chrétien builds himself an extravagant Churrigueresque villa. Tragedy strikes when the mine workers find themselves plagued by mysterious accidents and strange unexplained forces intent on doing them harm. Tongues start wagging about ghostly interference, but Chrétien is certain the mine’s ills have a more earthly cause: local town witch Tiburcia Cortina.

Featuring original songs that are sure to become classic hits, including the devastating “The Ruin Was Mine,” and a modern set boasting over 150 electric-powered stage lights, The Curse of Robespierre! will be an experience unlike any other. Don’t miss the limited engagement of world-renowned baritone Miguel Preciado in the title role!

The Afterlife of Robespierre!

The president of Mayweather Studios, Inc. today announced that production would begin on a new moving picture based on Marguerite Montague’s novel The Hotel by the Ocean. The new film is anticipated to be the studio’s most expensive yet, with an estimated cost of $260,000.

Ocean is a retelling of the tragedy of Lottie Robespierre, descendant of pirate queen “Shuddersome” Robespierre, and the fall and subsequent haunting of her luxury resort, the Chateau Miramar. Silver screen siren Billie Allen will play Lottie’s willful daughter Clarissa. Broodingly handsome newcomer Kenji Maitland has been cast as Clarissa’s mysterious lover, the seductive Reynard  Dantès. The vengeful Lottie will be played by acclaimed stage and screen actress Eleanor Chadwick.

The film - title pending - is expected to premiere next spring.

Copyright © 2017 by Malinda Kao. All Rights Reserved.

[streihwai]

Gods among us

Nate was three moves away from a checkmate when a figment of his imagination turned the corner and stared at him. He didn’t notice at first, too enthralled by the board on the ground in front of him.

His opponent and best friend Derek had captured his bishop with a rook, inadvertently triggering a sequence that would end in Nate’s eventual victory provided that Derek had: 1) never heard of the 1973 game between Stanley Rourke and Aesop Catalo, and 2) that he hadn’t been paying attention to the movements of Nate’s knights.

Derek rolled the captive white bishop between his ring finger and thumb, then used the small nub of the mitre to point diagonally across the sorry patch of yellow grass that was the ostensible architectural highlight of The Corner. “Natty, look. One of your imaginary friends got loose.”

His statement was punctuated by the gargling squeal of a car accelerating on the street that abutted their school.

Derek had spoken in mockery, but his tone had a twinge of that embarrassed concern people often reserve for the moments where they must unwillingly help their friends deal with unruly bodily functions in public spaces. The kind of voice that simultaneously expresses concern for your well-being and begs you to get your shit together because you’re embarrassing them by proxy.

It wasn’t usual to see a figment of someone’s imagination walking around a high school. The phenomenon of unreal, yet stubbornly physical, manifestations of an individual’s whimsy materializing in daylight in front of onlookers had been general knowledge for a while. There were extensive write-ups in leading psychiatric magazines, various pop culture references, and even a handful of television shows and a cheesy low budget film that dealt with the subject. Nearly an eighth of the population had a formative childhood experience take place in some fairyland or space utopia. Nonetheless, the stigma persisted. Semi-corporeal fictional worlds just weren’t a topic fit for polite society.

A young man walked across the withered grass. He was dressed in secondhand finery and looked faintly translucent. He was groomed and polished like a new penny, but he stood stiffly in his fine clothing as if unused to the cloth. His cheeks were thin and his lips thinner and he thrummed with nervous energy.

He stopped half an arm’s length from them, knelt down on one knee. The toes of his boot stepped through the same physical space occupied by Nate’s backpack.

“Almighty gods of grace and glory,” the man began, and he had the cadence of a trained orator. “Grant me your blessing and look kindly upon me. I have faced harsh trials and impossible odds to reach here so that I may ask for a favor.”

There was an abruptly stifled giggle from somewhere behind Derek’s left shoulder. He didn’t turn around. Nate had turned an interesting ashen color.

“Nate, what the shit’s going on, dude?”

Under the unforgiving Californian sun, on a sorry patch of concrete and weak grass in a neglected corner of John A. Rowland High School, Nathaniel Chan was confronted with months of dicey narrative choices and nonsensical plotting in the form of a disgruntled disgraced ex-prince who had, against all odds, tracked down the architect of his universe.

“Derek, this is Prince Ren of Bellettres. His family is dead because of me.”

Copyright © 2017 by Malinda Kao. All Rights Reserved.

[streihwai]

For new arrivals

Handwritten, on notebook paper. Found on July 17, 2004.

Now you may not know much about this world called Streihwai, for it does not appear in any of the geography books of our world, nor any of the maps either. It is an odd realm and hard to find. The easiest way I know of to reach Streihwai I will tell you, but you must follow my directions to the letter no matter how peculiar they may be.

First, you must go to sleep the same way you do every other night, taking special care to sup heartily and rest comfortably. As every child knows, pleasant dreams are attracted to the scent of rich food and sweet candy on a sleeper’s breath. Any dream will do for this experiment, but I have found that the sweetest dreams make for the easiest passage.

The thing to do is to let the dream do his job and not interfere but to make sure that he does not discover your intentions.

For you must wait patiently, and it may be a long while, for the dream to end. When he has ended, he shall make ready to leave and you must follow him. But you must only follow him when you are in the waking-sleep, that state of limbo between asleep and awake where you are still dreaming but aware of the real world around you. In this state, you shall be safe to follow the dream. Any deeper into slumber and the dangers you face will be far too real. Too much into awareness and the dream will simply fade.

The dream will lead you through horrificous terrors and splendiferous wonders whose brilliancy you will not be able to comprehend. Ignore them, trust in yourself, and continue on. After what will seem like many hours of journeying, the dream will lead you to the Passageways of the Ether.

The Passageways will first appear as a great bizarre hallway. Instead of doors, the sides of the hall will have windows, elevators, staircases, slides, tunnels, even gigantic springs and spaghetti strands in all shapes and colors and materials. Each one of these is a conduit to another world and their appearance varies on the whim of the world. A true candyland may have a lollipop road, a mechanical planet will contain a circuitry of wires and electric currents, and old-fashioned earths are fond of using a fancy Victorian carriage drawn by white Lipizzaners. There are endless passageways; be careful lest you get lost.

Whatever passage you choose, walk boldly through it and never falter or be afraid for you will realize that the conduits are made up of nothing but thoughts and they will no longer support your weight. Then you will drop down, down, and have a simple falling dream before you wake up safe in your bed.

If you are foolhardy or brave and still wish to reach Streihwai, I will tell you now which passage you must take. Look for a splendid ship, sometimes an Egyptian Barge and other times a Chinese Junk or a Spanish Pirate Ship, bearing the name ‘The Lost Lady.’ You will recognize her because she will always wear the likeness of a violet-eyed woman (often a figurehead) on her bow. Board this ship and she will sail, bearing you to Streihwai.

Be warned that this is the Land of the Lost Myths and many of the Old Gods of Earth as well as the Remnants of Human Dreams have found their way here. The terrain is treacherous and unpredictable.

Godspeed, brave traveler and gentle dreamer. Be clever, be kind, and be careful.

Copyright © 2017 by Malinda Kao. All Rights Reserved.