That’s Yes Ma’am

Learning to embrace my power as a strict wife in a semi-trad, yet F/M DD relationship with my naughty hubby

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Willing Women #26-23-1

[strict-consistent-wifey]

You mentioned books on the subject of DD. What are some that you found most helpful?

I found How to Spank Your Man and Spanking the Male Mind, both by Monica Wilder, to be really helpful. The last time I looked for a link, I wasn’t able to find one, but hopefully you’ll be able to find a version online. She published under Wilder Street Publishing.

[strict-consistent-wifey]

Please repost the rules.

My original rules post is here

Reblog by @strict-consistent-wifey · 1 image

💬 5  🔁 40  ❤️ 125 · The Rules · The goal of our rules is not to create a power imbalance or for me to be put on a pedestal. The goal is for

[strict-consistent-wifey]

You mentioned your daughter. How much does she know about the situation with you and your man? I assue she does not take part in the DD life, now. As she gets older will she be given spanking privilages or, hopefully. it is kept between the two of you

My goal is for it to stay between us. She’s elementary aged, and she knows that some spankings happen, but not the seriousness of how it impacted our lives. She’s seen me smack him on the behind with an oven mitt for repeatedly being in my way in the kitchen or heard me light heartedly threaten to smack him with a spoon, but I think, in her mind, it’s framed as loving teasing.

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Fashion #25-17-1

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Scantily-Clad and Sexy Spankers #24-17-1

[cyclepsycho57]

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Strict and Stern, Firm and Fair #25-15-2

[strict-consistent-wifey]

my wife and I have been in a similar relationship since 2017’ We’ve had a lot of ups and downs. I am an Alpha by nature and it’s not that she’s a beta. She’s just very passive. She has no problem spanking me. That’s never been an issue. And she has no remorse when it’s more severe. She just lets things go that I wish she would discipline for. Have yall had this issue?

This is specifically why I wrote down the rules very clearly toward the beginning. It’s part a natural inclination to be more passive but also the state of our lives right now - we’re in those peak middle years. Our daughter is active. We’ve both got activities outside of the house, growing careers, and the demands of roles as caregivers to aging and elderly family members. If it’s not written down, with an auto scheduled reminder or two, I will forget. A dentist appointment, a bill, a rule that I made in passing but is actually really important to me. The written rules keep us both accountable to the foundations and principles we’ve established. In those passive moments, it’s not that the issues is any less important than something else, in fact it’s almost always more important than it seems, but it’s more of a capacity issue. If I have established a concrete rule around it, it’s easier to enforce; but if I’m mentally at capacity because of other things and I have to make a judgement call around behavior, I may not call it out in the moment. I will circle back around pretty frequently, but it’s not always instantaneous. Keeping the rules as more of a “living document” that I can update on the fly keeps us both in check.

[strict-consistent-wifey]

How long and hard is an average spanking? Are you able to get him to tears?

I don’t know that I have a great answer to this. They are hard enough to be effective and long enough to be memorable. The goal is consequences for misbehavior and those consequences are relative to the transgression. I’m going to use the example of being late because it’s something important to me, was one of the first rules I implemented, and is always a really good illustration point.

If he’s 10 minutes late and didn’t call, my goal isn’t tears. Will he still get spanked? Yes, absolutely, but it’s not going to be the worst spanking he’s ever had. The goal is to remind/reestablish the rules, as necessary, and provide a deterrent for continued misbehavior. If my goal is always tears, or always to “break” him, then we lose the sense of nuance that some correction is going to be more harsh than others.

[strict-consistent-wifey]

Do you ever spank anyone besides your husband and daughter.

No - and I don’t think I ever would.

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Assertive Young Ladies #24-12-2

[strict-consistent-wifey]

How often do you have to spank him besides his weekly Sunday spanking,does your daughter hear you spanking him do you think

It really depends on the week. There are some weeks where I spank him 3-4 times and others where it’s just maintenance. It’s all based on his behavior.

I don’t believe our daughter hears - we always wait for her to be asleep before discipline begins.

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Fashion #26-11-1

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Sunday Ladies #24-10-2 - Carrie Radison

[beautiful-when-she-s-angry-too]

Loving Wives #26-9-2

[strict-consistent-wifey]

Any recommendations on how to monitor his phone, online activities and restrict his usage?

I’m not sure my answer will be especially helpful here, but I’ll share honestly.

I’m married to @hillbillyhubby. The man runs an entire blog about how grateful he is for me and how this dynamic has improved our lives. If there’s anything “questionable” on his phone, it’s essentially a digital shrine to his wife. His camera roll is full of AI-generated images of women who look like me holding paddles. Not because he’s looking for something outside our marriage, but because he’s mildly obsessed in the best way and wants content that reflects me while still respecting our privacy online. If that’s the scandal, I can live with it.

We have very open access to each other’s devices. If I ever felt the need to look through his phone, I wouldn’t have to sneak or investigate. I would just ask, and he would hand it over. We would absolutely have a conversation about what I was feeling that led me there, but access itself wouldn’t be the issue. And the same goes the other way. My phone is mostly running to-do lists, half-finished notes, and colleagues asking me questions at all hours. Not exactly thrilling content, but he has access just the same.

My question back would be this. What is the goal of monitoring and restricting?

I set rules for hubby in areas of importance for us, but he still has autonomy. I’m not building barriers to physically prevent behavior. He is free to make choices. What exists alongside that freedom is clarity about expectations and consequences. He understands that if he breaks a rule, there will be discipline. That structure guides behavior far better than surveillance ever could.

For a couple of rules, we have a disclosure agreement. If I ask, he answers honestly. And if he breaks a rule, he’s expected to tell me before I have to ask. It’s always easier on him when he’s forthcoming. That ownership matters more to me, and is more impactful, than “catching” him ever would be.