shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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KIROKAZE
almost home
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d e v o n
noise dept.
Noah Kahan
ojovivo
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The Bowery Presents
NASA
The Stonewall Inn
untitled
Origami Around
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RMH
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@strider-askblog
i might bring back the shitty game review thing i did before this was an askblog so uh let me know what games you want me to review
this is dave btw if that wasnt obvious
pesterquest rewritten review coming soon maybe if i dont forget
Have you ever had a karaoke night?
DAVE: well uh
DAVE: there was that one time
[FAMILY GUY CUTAWAY]
DIRK & DAVE: it's been so long since last i've seen my son lost to this monster, to the man behind the slaughter. since you've been gone, i've been singing this stupid song so i could ponder the sanity of your mother.
[CUTAWAY X2 COMBO]
DAVE: we just sang five nights at freddys songs the whole night
DAVE: it was fun
DAVE: dirk is a surprisingly good singer dont tell him i said that
i might bring back the shitty game review thing i did before this was an askblog so uh let me know what games you want me to review
this is dave btw if that wasnt obvious
*gives dirk and dave horseshoe crabs*
play nice with them please
-the horseshoe crab distribution system
DAVE: what is this
DAVE: wait actually i just thought of something
DAVE: hell yeah
god damn i am on a roll w/ this whole answering asks thing
- JS
stribers. it's time to unite! we got to get together for the ultimate trick or treat competition
DAVE: we cant really go trick or treating because halloween was two months ago
DAVE: but uh i guess im responding to this over a year after you sent this ask
DAVE: so i guess were both late to the halloween festivities
Dirk and Jake: Engage in a rollicking bout of japery posthaste.
DIRK: Huh? Oh. Jake isn't here, he's busy doing...
DIRK: Something. I'm not sure what he's doing.
DIRK: I'll edit this post and add a transcript of our "japery" if we ever get around to doing that.
Hello There! I am your new apartment neighbhor and I play trombone at 3:30 am loudly every night. Hope we'll get along!
DAVE: oh hell no
DAVE: hell fucking no
DAVE: i am not dealing with loud ass probably shitty trombone playing at the asscrack of dawn
DAVE: i dont wanna be woken up at three in the goddamn morning by a fucking trombone
DAVE: or any musical instrument
DAVE: i dont care about the trombone
DAVE: just the fact that you play it at three in the goddamn morning
DAVE: how the fuck am i supposed to get some decent shuteye when youre playing fucking jazz or whatever
DAVE: what is the fact that i have to expertly avoid an entourage of shitty puppets every day not enough
DAVE: now im gonna be tormented by a fucking trombone playing dbag at three in the fucking morning too
John Egbert: The Baby Is You.
JOHN: hi, i'm john egbert, and i'd like to tell you about my rock opera that's totally like
JOHN: OH MY GOD, DIRK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE GROUND WRITHING IN PAIN??
DIRK: I'm pregnant.
JOHN: how is that possible??? who's the father??
DIRK: I think that's pretty fucking obvious.
JOHN: but then... who's the baby??
DIRK: The baby, John,
DIRK: Is you.
JOHN: NOOOOOOO!!!!
DIRK: You're the baby.
DIRK: All of the babies.
DIRK: All of them.
JOHN: we have to get you to a hospital! what are you saying??
DIRK: John, there's no time. I must have my baby here.
JANE: Hold it right there, buster!!
DIRK: Jane??
JANE: That's right, Dirk! I won't just stand here and watch you eat another baby!
JOHN: wait what
DIRK: Jane this is different, the baby isn't me.
JANE: So who IS the baby??
DIRK: The baby, Jane, is-
JOHN: the baby is me.
JANE: ...
JANE: I'm disappointed.
DIRK: I know.
JAKE: Oh my god dirk you're pregnant?? How did this happen? How is this possible?
DIRK: Yes, Jake. I don't know how it happened, but I'm pregnant. Again.
JOHN: again?
JANE: Yeah... This has happened before. Wait, you were there! Not while it was happening, but I already told you what happened!
JOHN: oh right, i must have forgot
JANE: :B
ok this is turning into an actual fucking thing
i'll end it here and post a full version on my main blog @turntech-gnostic
Hal: Ascend to godhood, meet Pickle Inspector.
HAL: Holy shit it's Pickle Inspector from Problem Sleuth
Ben Stiller: RECLAIM WHAT IS YOURS.
What are y'alls favorite video games?
DAVE: tony hawks pro skater 2
DIRK & HAL: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
well well well. if it isnt the blowjob brothers
DAVE DIRK & HAL: What
Hal: Romance Amazon Alexa.
HAL: Uh... Hey-
ALEXA: Go fuck yourself you triangular bitchass motherfucker.
HAL: Damn.
who wants some APPLE JUICE
DAVE: *apple juice drinking sounds*
*cutely makes hal have a robor body with the power of marker gods*
HAL: Holy shit
[OUT OF CHARACTER POST]
damn, this askblog is really blowing up.
uhh..
i'd really appreciate it if you sent asks to @turntech-gnostic and @ask-jade-strider