An AU where Kyoko sacrifices herself at the end of a loop to defeat Walpurgisnacht and the rest have to continue living on.
They managed to pull Sayaka out of her pit of despair before she was able to witch out. But now she doesn’t know what to do with the life she has; everything seems basically pointless. The guilt gnaws away at her; she was supposed to be a hero, the one who saved innocents, even if it meant her death, because at the very least, she had a purpose, her end had value. Even if her wish was built upon an act of selfishness, she would use it just as any magical girl should, to protect people. Instead, she was the one who lived. Kyoko, the girl that she had vilified as a monster, the one she had rejected, was the one who had died instead. A grand sacrifice at the cost of her life, purely just for them. An act so foreign to anything Sayaka knew the girl to be. Kyoko died instead, and Sayaka would never get to apologize, would never get to learn about this other side of her that she only got to witness as Kyoko’s very end. She lost the chance she had to truly grow close to her, to understand her, past the rivals they were and what they could have been. The only things she could learn were from what Homura recounted, all the smiles she’d made, the banter they had, and how close they got, depending on the timeline. And Sayaka would never be able to actually experience it. Because she wasn’t the one who’d died that day. And Sayaka would have to live with that, because she had to live, she had to live for them.
Madoka felt immense guilt. Unlike Sayaka, she hadn't truly rejected Kyoko, cautious, yes, but still open to learning about her and understanding her. She was rough around the edges, maybe a bit mean for sure. But Madoka didn’t think she was a bad person; she knew there was more to her, something that was only proven in Kyoko’s final moments. Just like Sayaka, that chance was ripped away from her; only the ache remained. Even so, after everything, she still had to be the one to pick up the pieces left behind. Sayaka was still unstable, and Kyoko’s sacrifice had only seemed to reaffirm her beliefs about herself, about her right to live. Mami seemed to question everything for the first time, about whether her path was the right one, whether this life she dragged Sayaka into, the life she had tried to drag Madoka into, the life Homura was stuck in, was the right one. And Homura, who hid her real feelings, still showed just how heavily this loss was on her, one built on hundreds of loops more than Madoka could understand. And Madoka had to be a rock for them regardless, had to ground them, and make sure they could all move forward, make sure Kyoko’s life wasn’t lost in vain. The part that hurt Madoka worse was that she could fix this. She could make a wish, bring Kyoko back, or any other million things she had the power to do. But if she did, she would throw away everything Homura had done to get them here; all the work and suffering she went through to keep Madoka from becoming a magical girl would be wasted. Homura would reset, with no guarantee they’d ever get an outcome even close to this ever again. And Madoka had to live with it, the conscious choice to not make a wish, to keep Kyoko dead.
Mami had started to question everything. The first time Mami had ever questioned if her path as a magical girl was the correct one was when she and Kyoko had fought for the first time. She thought everything would be all right; she’d kept Kyoko from succumbing to grief after the death of her family. But she hadn't been able to save her, no matter how much she had wanted to; she hadn't been strong enough, her feelings hadn't been able to reach her. And both she and Kyoko had spiraled into their own suffering alone. Her feelings only grew stronger with the distance; the various pupils she had adopted hadn’t been able to fill the void, none of them had understood her like Kyoko had. And now the chance to fix it all was gone. She and Kyoko hadn't had a chance to truly speak to each other once more. To yell, fight, scream out all the feelings they had kept inside. Mami hadn't had a chance to apologize, to tell her how much she missed her, to tell her how happy she was to have Kyoko by her side again. Now she, for the second time, questioned it all. What she could have done differently, the lives they have to live now, everything that led up to this moment. Sayaka is stuck like this now, forced to spend her life fighting witches just to live another day. A path Mami had set her on, a path she had set Homura on all those loops ago, the path that killed Kyoko. Mami feels lost, unbelievably so.
Homura should have been happy. This should be beyond an ideal outcome. Madoka was alive, and she hadn’t become a magical girl. And Mami and Sayaka got to live as well. This is better than she could have ever hoped for. And even then, she can’t be. Because someone is missing from their happy ending. Kyoko had been there through nearly every timeline. While Homura had so often fought with Mami, while she and Sayaka were at each other’s throats, she had to force Madoka to stay away. Kyoko was a constant, someone she depended on, someone always there. A tool, a friend, maybe even something more. And now Homura has to move on; she’d spent so long in the loops that even the very concept of moving past that horrible month is almost more terrifying than resetting again. And she has to do it without Kyoko, without that rock that was always there. Kyoko is left dead in the past, while Homura moves forward. Just like Madoka, Homura has the power to change things; she could go back again, keep retrying until she gets a perfect outcome, one where they all get to be happy together. But she can’t do that. can’t throw everything away, can’t waste the sacrifice Kyoko made to keep them safe. She was there for Kyoko’s final moments; the look she had on her face was burned into Homura’s memory. She had smiled at her then, a smile so bright, one that held so much promise. She had chosen this, chosen them, the people she loved so much to live instead of her, a choice she was content with. That was the last thing she saw before the sky lit a brilliant crimson. And now all Homura can do is scream at her grave, alone, for her to come back, to not leave them.
The four of them have a funeral for her. They bury her next to the graves of her mother and sister. They’re the only ones there; they’re the only people Kyoko had. And now that she’s gone, they’re the only ones who can mourn her.
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
prguitarman
stormborns
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
ellievsbear
snowghoul
