Keni
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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wallacepolsom
Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
@theartofmadeline
Claire Keane
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
RMH
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occasionally subtle
#extradirty
izzy's playlists!
Sade Olutola
Misplaced Lens Cap
trying on a metaphor
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@strivetobemd
RECLAIMING DISCIPLINE CAN LOOK LIKE:
• keeping small + manageable promises to yourself daily
• healing your attention span (ex: reading books, watching movies without scrolling, letting yourself be bored)
• moving from "I'll try" to "I will"
• reframing pain + difficulty as often where the growth happens
• showing up as the person you want to be
• making mindful & nourishing choices VS choices that result in instant gratification
gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.
Your mother warns you about love. She tells you it will leave you hollow. You think she loved the wrong man. You think it will be different for you. And one day you will meet him, and your desire for him will haunt you till you cannot bear to be away from him. Nothing prepares you for what happens next. Love will come for you like a forest fire. And you will open your arms to it and him. You will take his burning even as you become ashes, but what good are ashes to a flame? When he is done, he will leave you in ashes and sorrow. And just like your mother, you will learn the more you give, the more love will leave you hollow. You will join the long legacy of women who warn their daughters about love.
Nikita Gill
I hope you all receive good news this week that makes your heart feel a little lighter & your dreams more within reach
1. A dog is full of joy
Signs you’re dating a high-value guy:
He cares about seeing you play at your best
A great guy has no interest in seeing you scale back your ambitions so that he can feel good about himself.
On the contrary, he loves to see you flourish. For him, supporting your success only means more excitement and adventure. He loves seeing what you make of your life and cares about protecting your dreams.
In short, the high-value guy lives to see you playing at an extraordinary level.
He isn’t afraid of you over-taking him
Guys worth dating aren’t fussed about out-earning you or worried about who is further ahead in their career.
He won’t get insecure because you happen to be a lawyer or have a PhD, nor will he fret about your substantial paycheck. He doesn’t measure his life in competition with yours, because (would you believe it?) he has self-esteem and measures his life on more than just achievement.
He wants to provide for you
This one might seem like it immediately invalidates the previous point, but it doesn’t.
Here’s why: Even though he’s fine with you over-taking him financially, a high-value guy still wants to be someone who can provide for you in all kinds of ways.
This doesn’t mean he wants to pay for everything, but he’ll work hard to be the kind of man who can protect and serve you, whether by being emotionally strong, financially independent, or by being able to treat you to incredible experiences and indulgent surprises.
He’s turned on by your independence
“Damsel in constant distress” is not sexy to a high-value guy.
A man worth being with delights in seeing you handle your own life (even if he loves to help now and then), and will want to encourage anything that promotes your autonomy and independence.
While every man loves to feel needed, only insecure daddy-type guys seek to acquire importance by seeing you helpless and entirely dependent on them.
He’s responsive to your needs, even if he doesn’t always get them right first time
Ok, he might not know the *exact* words that turn you on most right away, or he might not realise that “quality time” is your love language, or he may not know that handwritten birthday cards make you melt.
But he learns. And responds when he drops the ball and gets it wrong.
The best guy isn’t a mind-reader, but he is an expert at following the signs if you make them clear enough.
Just enjoy it (and for god’s sake let him know how happy his effort makes you – positive reinforcement works!). Showing him that you notice and appreciate his listening skills is the best way to get more of it.
He doesn’t need to be asked twice to come and help you out of a bind
You’re in trouble? You need help with your university paper and want someone to come and read it at 4am the night before submission? You need to be saved from your family?
He’ll jump out of bed and into his car to come and save you before you’ve even put down the phone. He might not like the “damsel in constant distress”, but the “damsel having an occasional freak out” will make him drive all night like a knight riding to save a princess.
He won’t take your crap
Be warned: high-value guys have high expectations. If you’re ok with that, this will only raise your game.
He’s strong, and that means he doesn’t put up with draining people in his life.
He has no interest in indulging complaining and doesn’t have time to waste endlessly going over old problems or moaning about the past.
If you’re being unreasonable, he’ll tell you. To your face. Like a man. In other words, be ready for a guy who will stand up for himself and won’t stand for being walked over.
He takes care of his life with minimal fuss
High value guys limit the amount of time they spend wallowing in self-pity after a setback. They are responsive in the face of failure and spring into action at the sight of problems rather than falling apart.
Of course, he’s still human. And vulnerable. Which is a good thing. So sometimes he’ll need love and reassurance that everything will be ok. But then he’ll be back on his feet and fighting to get a grip again.
When the castle crumbles, he’s the one who starts stacking bricks to rebuild the fortress.
He cares about keeping small promises
In the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy, the son tells his father: “If you break little promises, you’ll break big ones.”
This is essentially the philosophy of a high value guy. It’s his code. He doesn’t feel ok simply shrugging his shoulders when he promised to pick up your shopping on the way home and just forgot. He kicks himself when he promised he’d book that restaurant and it totally slipped his mind.
The idea of not living up to his word is death to him. As it should be for all of us.
Speaking of which…
He chooses his words carefully
A guy who is great relationship material says nothing idly. He doesn’t make empty proclamations of love that he doesn’t feel in his heart.
He won’t say trite phrases or go through the motions if he thinks he’s just using cheap sentiment to soothe you without addressing the real problem.
If he says he adores you, he means it.
He’ll comfort you. He’ll stroke your hair and tell you you’re incredible. But he won’t make everything sound easy or simple when it’s not. Because he cares about big ideas like Truth and Honesty.
He wants to improve without needing to be asked
Great guys are always looking for ways to be better.
He doesn’t want to get healthy because you asked him to, he wants to do it because he takes pride in caring about his body.
He reads books not to show off, but because he takes education seriously.
He seeks adventure not to impress you, but because he wants to grab life and suck up experiences while he’s on this earth.
He seeks success because he wants to fulfil his potential, not because he arbitrarily wants a bigger paycheck.
At his core, he’s self-motivated. That might sometimes mean he tries a bit harder than he needs to, but that’s a much better problem to have than having a lazy man who never makes an effort.
He’ll “grasp nettles”
I stole this one from advertising genius David Ogilvy, who wrote “leaders grasp nettles”.
What Ogilvy meant by this is that leaders in life are willing to do the difficult action that no-one else will. This is the same of any high-value guy. He doesn’t run from the difficult or sensitive conversation. He confronts problems. He makes the difficult phone call.
He doesn’t put off troubles hoping they’ll just blow over. Which is why others respect him and look up to him.
He’ll invest in the relationship without losing himself in it
Maybe it sounds romantic to think of the Edward Cullen obsessive-love type boyfriend, but in the real world a high-value guy is capable of falling loving without obsessing (he can still be passionate and intense, just not in the creepy stalker-esque way vampire romance novels portray it).
Guys who are well-balanced have multiple sources of joy in their world. Friends. Family. Fulfilling work. Because they’ve learnt how to be happy being single first (as I’ve spoken about before).
All of these are important to him, even if eventually you become the most important thing to him.
He listens to what you tell him and responds
As mentioned earlier, high value guys want to make you happy. And this means they listen. They look for clues. They are endlessly curious about you as their partner and want to understand your mind.
You’ll usually see this in the amount of thought he puts into gifts and trips, particularly if it involves things he’s clearly decided based on your previous conversations.
Of course, that does NOT mean he’ll always get it right. Even high-value guys will sometimes get it completely wrong and screw up badly (we have to be realistic, after all). But crucially, he’ll keep trying to fulfil your needs. He’ll remember when he messed up and adjust his behaviour. And if you communicate your standards well, he’ll strive to live up to them.
He has unique pairings
High value guys, like high value women, don’t rely on a single personality trait.
He can be intellectual and deep, but he can also be exciting and totally silly. He’s comfortable being sexual, but he’s also a gentleman and has class. He’s fiercely loyal, but ready to double-down on his principles when his view differs from everyone else’s.
The best people always embody both sides of the coin.
He builds a future with you
The high-value guy who is serious about you will want to make you the strongest team in the world. He’s loyal and wants to find ways to bring you closer together, which means he thinks about the future with you and discusses it openly.
That doesn’t mean he’ll necessarily move quickly, but it does mean he wants to invest in the relationship and make your emotional connection stronger so that he can share his world with you.
Stephen Hussey I’ve spoken many times in these blogs about what makes a high value woman. Because of this, sometimes Matt or I will be accus
You can only reblog this on the 3st of January
the 3st huh?
Here’s a New Year’s wish from Neil Gaiman from years ago that I love.
When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It’s how I’ve learned to survive through everything. I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight.
EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinart
Bessel van der Kolk
Normalize not forcing people to choose you. If they think they can find better elsewhere – let them. Respectfully.
