unexpected | wyf & hzt
strzitao:
Now, there was nothing but quiet gazes and dorky grins being swapped between the two. Zitao didn’t mind, and he knew that Yifan didn’t, either. These moments he found that he cherished the most – the moments where they could say a million words without parting their lips. A million compliments would spill from their pores with the very gazes they had given each other, the sparkle in each others eyes dictating that there was more than just mere affection lingering between them – much more. The way the silence sat so well between them despite the former’s very hate for said subject, the innocence that seemed to dwell despite their origins. It was all perfect – just like the man who was holding him.
The simple three word statement they had experienced for the first time that night didn’t cease itself from creating that foamy effect in his stomach and the fuzzy feeling in his mind. He was pulled closer into his embrace and happily so, and to express this joy and glee he felt at the very moment and the feelings that filled his heart so easily, he spoke out again, “I love you too.” And again, silence reined. He inhaled slowly when the man spoke out against the quiet atmosphere, his eyes falling from the features of his lover to look at where his fingers lifted to trace small shapes against Yifan’s chest. He didn’t speak for a small while, though the pain was evident as his eyes drooped and it seemed his jaw tensed in a bite, his bottom lip beginning to quiver ever so slightly. After that moment of silence and collecting himself, it seemed just as fast as he had collected himself, he fell apart with his words.
“I’ve never felt so weak–disgusting. Used. Pathetic.”
Maybe he should have considered shoving down some pain medication before bed. While his fingertips were warm against the bare skin of the boy’s waist, a notable ache was settling into the bones of his right hand. Sure, it was uncomfortable, but he could endure it for the night. Besides, he knew Zitao would be open to skipping classes tomorrow to accompany him to the hospital for an x-ray and whatever would proceed. It would suck he was severely injured. If his right hand were inoperative, his day-to-day life would be turned on its head. As a professor, he spent the greater chunk of his day with a pen in his hand, scribbling down notes in margins and grading papers. Yet, a soft exhale against his collar reminded him that he had a lovely boyfriend and assistant after class. This would just be another excuse to spend more time with his lover, although he would hate to tear Zitao away from his studies — but if he knew anything about the younger, he would blame himself and refuse to leave the older’s side.
The silence between them was normally relaxing, but the worry in his chest only bloomed with this one. Yifan had withstood so many punches to protect his boyfriend, and if Zitao was harmed, it would all be for nothing. Evidently, as the boy spoke, he had failed. Instantly, his hold around the other tightened. He had no idea how to fix this. Even if every bone in his body was shattered, he couldn’t erase what had happened before he had arrived at the scene. “You’ll never feel that way again,” Yifan promised quietly, fingers tracing comforting patterns at the boy’s back. “,,, You’re none of those things. You’re everything wonderful in the world to me, okay?” He didn’t want Zitao defining himself by a split second, especially a few that were so minimal compared to everything else. “What about how I make you feel? Let’s talk about that.”