Advice from a Non-traditional Student
Perspective: I took a different route than most of my peers. I worked in medical and management fields fresh out of high school, got married, was a military spouse for years, and then returned to school to earn my degree. I’m learning alongside students much younger than me, and a lot of times I see them stressing about things that won’t matter in five years and ignoring real concerns. Here’s some of my advice.
1) Your relationships do matter: A lot of times I hear young adults say things like “just cut people out of your life” or “you won’t remember that friendship when you were fifteen when you’re twenty-five.” Well, I’m here to tell you as a twenty-five year old that you will, but not like you think. In high school and college you have this unique environment for meeting new people, so it’s easier to end and start relationships when they get too hard. However, how you handle relationships in your younger years create habits that you have to painfully rearrange when you’re older and realize long-lasting friendships take time and effort. Yes, you should definitely remove toxic relationships from your life, but how you do it will make a big difference in your regret and your character.
2) Your major is not that important: Think of how often you change your phone. Do you really think you are going to work the same job every day for twenty-five years like your parents? No, this generation is simply not going to view occupations the same way. You will have many jobs in a variety of fields. Simply study what you enjoy and focus on the skills you learn, not just the degree title. That is what employers care about.
3) Take care of your body: Can I sound old for a second? You can fix bad grades, you can even earn a new degree, you can buy multiple houses, you can even have multiple spouses, but you only have one body. Drink the water, read food AND cosmetic labels, walk when you could ride, and wear the damn sunscreen.
4) Choose your company wisely: Misery loves company. Procrastination loves company. Bitterness loves company. Laziness loves company. Guard your time, energy, and thoughts. Associate with people who build you toward your goals, both academic and personal.
5) Your GPA doesn’t define you, but it does matter: No, that C does not mean you are a failure. It does not define you. If you worked your ass off and barely passed the hardest class of your life than clap for yourself. However, if you partied all weekend or binged watched Stranger Things and only thought about studying than maybe that C is a reflection of your priorities. Colleges do consider your GPA. Scholarships do take GPA into consideration. If they didn’t matter than they wouldn’t exist. It’s all about balance.
6) Learn to file your taxes: Learn to cook basic meals, create a budget and stick to it, learn how bank statements or automatic payments work, learn how to shop for car or renter’s insurance, how to change your oil or tire, or learn how to sew on a button. A lot of times young adults miss these basic life skills. No, they aren’t dumb, but you can know physics and be completely clueless about general car maintenance. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you must, must learn it.
7) Compartmentalize, compartmentalize, COMPARTMENTALIZE:
The sooner you learn to do this the easier your life will be. Life won’t give you one thing to focus on at a time. One day your car’s transmission blew, your dog has a skin infection, there’s a project at work, and your cousin is blowing up your phone because you offended her by not showing up to her party. This is when this skill is necessary - being able to put all this stress and concern into appropriate boxes, prioritize, and focus solely on the task at hand. Your boyfriend’s behavior last night doesn’t need to affect your test performance today.
8) Socialize like your grandma:
Well, sorta.. Do you want long-lasting friendships? Do you want those mentors to think highly of you? What did your grandmother do? Call (don’t just text) your family and friends weekly. Remember their birthdays on a calendar, not just Facebook notifications. Send a fucking card. Make soup when they’re sick and miss class. Do what your grandma did and you’ll have friends when you’re your grandma’s age.
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