The Epic Journey of a Denial Submissive
In the course of my studies into the psychology of orgasm control, denial, and edging, I've noticed an interesting detail ā it seems to me that submissives almost universally go through the same archetypal phases:
SheĀ¹ will set out with some intention of her own ā very often with the intention of heightening her own pleasure, or sometimes of being good enough as a sexual partner. At this stage, some experimentation with edgingĀ² can be seen, but without an underlying philosophy.
She will be called upon to more frequently control or be denied her orgasms, for example by a DominantĀ³ or a submissive peer.
The call is initially refused, frequently using spurious feminist argumentsā“. She struggles with basic impulse control during this phase and may be openly disobedient.
She receives technological assistance in the form of Internet pornography, books, and long-form television and film. These might directly reference orgasm denial, or more generic themes such as yearningāµ. She also may gain helpers and mentors during this time who encourage her to extend her denial.
Tragically, she develops a sense of strength and pride from her capacity for denial. Perfectionistic tendencies are common at this stageā¶.
She enters the abyss, perhaps at the same time as her encounter with the Goddess. She truly recognises her Dominant partner's superiority, the irrelevancy of her own sexual pleasure, and accepts that she can no longer be rewarded with orgasm or pleasure at all.
She undergoes a transformationā· and embraces pure suffering, without hope of release. This may be accompanied by a transference of primary sexual functionāø.
She begins the long process of atonement for her former life of unrestricted sexual gratification. This phase is often accompanied by feelings of depression and regret.
She returns to the stable foundation of a secure relationship. She often at this time will receive the Gift of the Goddess; typically a symbolic chastity belt, vaginal plug, or other adornment for long term wear. She no longer hopes for pleasure nor feels shame for her desire; she realises that she is accepted, controlled, and feels the safety to flourishā¹.
My hope is that this work can prove instructive for others in the field, and show a way forward for denial submissives who, though their enthusiasm is undoubted, have yet to complete their journey.
Ā¹ The current work is concerned primarily with lesbian and bisexual women; its applicability to other populations is a matter for further study, although the scholarly consensus is that the male orgasm is of far lesser significance.
Ā² Outside of the dominance and submission disciplines, observations have been made of women choosing to edge for the sole purpose of having a more intense eventual orgasm. The practice is even discussed in mainstream women's magazines, but is likely indicative of disorder.
Ā³ The authors take the view that Dominant should be capitalised, and is strongly preferred to Domme.
ā“ The authors note with amusement that the submissive will often fail to recognise at this point that she is in a lesbian relationship.
āµ The length and variety of content are of particular importance, as we have found that submissives will extend their edging sessions significantly in order to continue engaging with their chosen media.
ā¶ Perfectionism in this case should be seen as a resistance to (rather than an expression of) submission and/or the Dominant's influence.
ā· The authors note with regret that some Dominants prefer to delay this phase, using hope as a tool to continue shaping the submissive to her preferences.
āø Oral-only is strongly recommended by all reputable sources.
ā¹ It is common at this time for the submissive to gain the capacity for orgasm via oral stimulation (see note 8). Though amusing, this too should be controlled if the submissive's fulfilment is a priority.
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