Synopsis: soldiers either die trying to win the war or come back alive defeated. All he wanted to do was come back to you. He promised. He promised to find his way back to you, but maybe it just wasn’t possible…but without his sense of confidence he wouldn’t be who he is, would he?
Warnings: Set during warring times but still modernish, canon divergence, drafted before his release, heavy angst, fluff, smut, ignorant knowledge of how military ranks work lol, pregnancy, description of miscarriages, flirting with some courting, no discerning description of y/n, idk what else to put here…yes happy ending but you have to work for it ;)
Word count: 10k+
a/n: this took forever bc I was stubborn and didn't think this was good enough to finish, but this is the longest fic I've written so pls enjoy :<
The sounds of boots on the ground, heavy wheels grinding on the dirt, and the piercing sound of the jet engines kept you grounded your wandering mind as your small block heels stood on the pavement. It was a campground, another site to welcome the incoming troops for the never ending war that has tainted your home. You took a deep breath in, hearing the wooden door shut behind you, heavy steps of the general shook on the ground behind you as he stepped out of the log-like building.
Turning to him you nodded, “Good morning, General. All the troops have just arrived, sir.”
“Thank you L/N. Hopefully this batch is more cooperative than the last.”
You could only hum, already feeling the oncoming headache you would have for the next two months or so. Taking another deep breath in of the last remnants of the outdoor fresh air before it would be tainted from men's musk.
“ATENNN-TION” came his booming voice, men immediately dropping their bags to stand in salute. The quiet authority hushed the grounds as the new soldiers stood as still as statues.
“So, you are the babies that were sent over here?” The general started his standard scare tactic, walking slow across the deck that overlooked the forest field that scattered the men. “I have been tasked with providing the colonel with the best of the best airmen for this never ending war. Aviation is NOT the easy way out gentlemen. Under no circumstance will I tolerate any of you running away with tails tucked between your legs and crying to your mommies.”
A quiet snicker could be heard amongst the nervous crowd, your eyes snapping to the direction of the sound. You eyed the man that had his head tucked down to hide the smirk you could see curling on his lips. You could only mentally shake your head as the general ground his teeth and stepped down from the deck, making his way to the man that caused the pause in his monologue.
The soldier was a shrimp. His messy brown hair, his less than tone physique and the air of faux confidence did nothing to hide what type of person he was. Working under the general for so long you've learned to recognize each archetype that has trained here. This one was no more than a cocky son of a bitch that you were sure thought he would become top dog.
“Do you have a problem, private?” he spit out in his face.
“No sir.” he replied.
“What's your name boy?"
"Xia, sir. Caleb Xia."
"Then you wouldn’t have a problem having first scrubbing duty tonight would you, Xia?”
“No sir.”
He nodded his rotund head, head facing the rest of the men, “Meet at the dining hall at 1700, sharp.” He said, "And you boy, you will follow me." turning to take his leave, “AT EASE.”
But the new smug soldier didn't seem phased, instead he only grinned at his invitation and looked to you in stupid approval.
What a long road ahead of you.
~
Over the next few weeks, the General put the boys through hell and back, in the rain or shine. Most gritted their teeth and dealt with it, others backed out and were put through more hell.
But that cocky soldier from day one of course everyone's attention. That shrimp began filling out in all the right areas, his aviation knowledge was top notch. But that attitude of his was a problem for not only the General but for you as well.
“Excuse me miss, I seem to have a problem here.” The private came up to you.
He was dashing. His eyes a dark deep mauve, specks of pink sparkled in his eyes that captured your attention.
“What is it?” you said
"What's the closest town i could escape to?"
"I'm sorry?" you raised your eyebrow.
"Oh so you know, if I were to kicked out I would know which way to go."
"Uh, well--"
"XIAAA"
You saw the soldier's shoulder face turn into a grimace, "Gotta run sweets!"
“I would suggest not getting on the general’s bad side!”
“Too late!” he shouted behind him.
You just shook your head and sighed watching the General marching angrily to the direction you saw Xia dash to with a suspicious green gloop splattered over his head.
~
After that incident (and the ones to constantly come) Caleb--as he had come to constantly tell you to call him when you would speak to him on behalf of the General--was permanently put to work on mechanic duty. It was as equally as important as being the one to drive the plane, but Caleb was not happy you noted. Always sneaking away to be in the DFAC or somehow finding you in your small office writing reports to come and pester you before being thrown out by the General.
Though you had to admit, he was quite useful and stubbornly hot when he was actually doing his work. Right not, you couldn’t help but stare shamelessly at his back. You took a deep breath in as you watched him bend down under the wing of the plane and wrench a bolt tight.
You bit your lip as he came back up and wiped sweat from his forehead, smearing the hair pressed against his forehead.
“What are you doing here L/N?” come the booming voice, making you jump from your arousing thoughts,
“I-I was just checking on the soldier’s progress for the report sir!”
The General just raised an eyebrow at the weak excuse, glancing at the hot sweaty man wiping down the oily tools now. "I received news that the Colonel will be arriving soon to check the soldiers progress. Please hand in the final draft will ya."
"Yes, sir." You nodded and let out a shaky breath as you leaned against the post.
“Checking me out huh?”
For the second time, you gasped and sprung up at the voice. “What?”
“C’mon, you don’t have to hide it pretty. I’m pretty confident in my physique, stare all you want.” He said leaning on the opposite post, his body gleaming just right in the hot sun.
You flushed in warmth, and straightened up to push him out of your way. “Don’t be ridiculous. Go get back to work private.”
“I'm all done. I've been done for about 15 minutes now. But I couldn't help but stall knowing there were wondering eyes." You turned wide eyed in embarrassment. "Besides I have at least 10 minutes before I get to have a turn in the showers.”
He stalked up to you as you stopped walking and got close enough to you where you could feel his soft breath against your cheek as you tried your best to not ogle his pectoral muscles. Man, he really did fill out in such a short amount of time. You just wanted to touch and feel him up--You snapped out of your daze when he chuckled and backed away.
"See ya later sweets." he winked at you before walking away from your frozen frame.
~
When the Colonel came to do his daily rounds, it was basically one big jerk off for each battalion to ensure a new unit was set to be deployed when needed. All the new soldiers inducted to aviation battalion lined up in the small foyer of the main training building. You made sure to walk two paces behind the General, looking at each face. All serious faces, well except for one.
When you all approached the empty spot in the line, you mentally face palmed. There he was, bent over the floor in gloves, buffing the barrack floor with a scrub.
“Soldier!”
He finally looked up. “Oh, sorry big guy.” He slowly got up and dusted off his pants and reached out his hand to the highly decorated man in front of him. "You must be the Colonel right?"
A few chuckles could be heard from the line up which was quickly cut off when the Colonel snapped his head to the sounds. The Colonel stepped closer to get into Caleb's face,
“Do you see yourself dead anytime soon, soldier?”
“No sir.”
"You sure are acting like it boy. No respect to your higher ups is punishable by death soldier, do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
“Then what are you playing at boy?” the old man sneered
“I hope to see myself in your spot one day sir.” Caleb smirked.
That was when you and the General actually facepalmed yourselves.
~
That night Caleb came to secretly visit you in your small bunker. He pleaded with those puppy dog eyes to help iron and sew his new uniform for the upcoming graduation since he 'wouldn't get it done in time unless a pretty lady accompanied him.' He was talking your ear off to heal his wounded pride after the berating he earned from the General after the embarrassment with the Colonel.
“C’mon what’s with that guy?”
“Maybe you don’t see it, but he does actually care.”
“How so? Making me do extra than everyone else? Or how about not letting me fly the plane yet?”
You only sighed, “Well. . . yes. He must see some potential in you. Otherwise he wouldn’t pick on you. I mean, he’s already lost so many soldiers y’know. He probably wants you to just try your best. Besides, if you get on the top dog's bad side you’ll either be the first to be sent to death or you’ll be scrubbing bathroom tiles for the rest of your life.”
He sighed, chin resting in his curled up palm, “You just see the good in everything miss Y/N.”
“Well life isn’t as enjoyable when you’re focused on the negative things.”
There was a bit of silence before you spoke up.
“Why’d you choose to be a pilot anyway?”
Caleb hummed, silent for a bit, something in him stirring. “Wanted to see the world in a different perspective I guess.”
You only hummed, hoping for him to continue his story.
"When you're all alone and nothing to do you're bound to get into trouble. I knew I wouldn't through life like that. With this war going on, I knew I'd be here one way or another. But I knew I could get by being smart. Started going to the library to find something cool. Found all the books I could find about planes. Once I got the letter to start my draft I knew I wanted to be a pilot. All this stuff we're doing is busy work to me. I'm just waiting to be sent off into the sky before I die."
You looked at him explaining, confused by the smile on his face. "That's. . .sad."
"Eh, morbid sure. But true either way."
"I guess."
"What about you? You plan on working that big guy your whole life to get out of the front line duty?"
You scoff. "I quite like this position, no one wants to be here in the middle of nowhere doing paperwork, yet here I am stepping up to do it. To answer your question though, probably not. One day when everything is more at peace, I want to have a flower shop."
"Hmm cute." he grinned at you. "Definitely can see a pretty flower lady who would kick me out of her shop for being disruptive."
You snorted at the imagery in your head.
"Yeah well, this pretty lady is kicking you out of her house for being disruptive." you pushed his freshly stitched uniform into his arms as he stood.
"By the way do you always bring men into your house like this? If not, I can be the only one okay?"
You gawk at him and push him out, slamming the door behind him. But you can't help but smile at his comment.
~
Laughter filled the bar as you heard another one of Caleb's life tales as he animatedly acted out each scene to the bar. The months of training had passed in a matter of time. Tonight was a rare free day the soldiers got to have as long as they turned in before curfew.
He plopped himself down in the seat next to you.
“See? Free food.” you grinned at the plate of entrees he served in front of you. He had somehow convinced you out by sitting in front of your cabin and once again giving you puppy dog eyes (you have come to not resist) to come with him and the soldiers out to the local bar in town. It was the only fun around.
“I didn’t expect much from you y’know.” you admitted
He grinned from ear to ear, obviously waiting to hear a compliment from your lips, “That I'm dashing? Charming?”
You rolled your eyes, “How about, annoying? You definitely are the type to be a cocky son of a bitch.”
“Ah, you wound me doll.”
"Well it's true. I've been here for a while and plenty of guys turn out like you. Though you're the most trouble so far."
"Well if you've seen plenty, then they haven't impressed you yet if you're here with me right now."
You only hummed, taking a sip of the cold bottle of beer and avoiding eye contact. "It's as confusing to me as it is to you Caleb."
He ends up getting you out of your seat and to the dance floor. You dance the rest, smiles permanently plastered to your faces, as you bask in the freeness of no worry in the moment. No one watching, no sirens alarmed, nothing that indicated danger. It was a small fresh breath of air, of a bit of peace and fun.
“How about a proper date after graduation, doll?” he lit up, spinning you out of his arms.
“Hmm, not so sure. I don't date soldiers.” slightly warmed now. His hand shyly reached up to move a piece of your hair out your face, forcing your eyes to look up at his pleading eyes.
"Surely there can be some sort of exception?"
"What makes you so special?" you teased “You know the general won’t like it private.”
“What’s one date going to do to the man? Kill him?” His eyes glistening in stupid puppy eyes. "Besides, there's not enough time here for us to properly get to know each other.
You knew you would always give in to such capturing eyes.
“Graduate first private.” he whined. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
~
“You soldiers should be proud. You have been refined into fine airmen. You will make our motherland proud.”
"And Captain Xia? Congratulations on your promotion." he gruffly said. “Don’t celebrate too much, you all need to be back here for formal orders!” The General's booming voice yelled over the jeers and hollers.
You clapped at the cheers and smiled at all the happy men. You stepped down from the makeshift stage and approached him slowly, taking in the scene of young men pleased with the training section finally being over. You stepped closer and tapped his shoulder flashing your pretty smile at him knowingly “Congratulations, Xia. I don’t mean to pull you away from the festivities, but I believe someone promised me a date.”
“Really?!” he smiled at you, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you in close. You nodded, he excitedly pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, spinning you around, cheer blending in with the rest of the crowd.
…
It got cooler throughout the night. Once the soldiers graduated training all they looked forward to was celebrating and awaiting the orders of calling. Caleb decided to take you on a proper dinner date, using his saved coin to wine and dine you. You both talked about all you could, never running out of topics, just so curious about each other and finally having the time to listen to one another. Though you had a hard time listening since he looked so good in his uniform, and he looked even better trailing next to you while you both walked your food off in the quiet streets.
“I wouldn’t have imagined myself courting a soldier like yourself.”
“Why not? Aren’t I exactly what you’re looking for?” he joked.
You grinned, looking away at nothing in particular, “I don’t know, my father was a soldier too but he never married my mother. He passed when the war first started, leaving my mom and I alone. I was still little but I knew I hated seeing her in that state.”
His face showed a type of sympathy that didn’t make you feel frustrated, but it was like he understood. He put his hand on yours, giving it a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
You smiled and sighed. “It’s ok. I was a baby. I don’t remember him that well anyways. I had the General look after me since he and my dad were close in combat though. So I guess he’s more of a father figure to me.”
He raised his eyebrows, “That’s why?!”
“That’s why what?” you tilted your head.
“He’s all—y’know. So soft on you. All the guys could see that man only go soft on you, not just because you’re a girl either. You’ve seen his screaming matches with the kitchen staff ladies and they put him in his place when needed.” He scoffed. “Anyone would think he was your father.”
You gasped, “What? He is not soft on me.”
“Oh yeah? C’mon, he’s probably the reason why you’re even working in your position.”
You stayed silent, looking away with pursed lips.
“You’re kidding.”
“What, you don’t think I could get this job on my own?”
“Wait, no that’s not what I mean. You definitely deserve you job, I just mean—”
You giggled, “Listen, sometimes you have to use your connections to get good jobs.”
“Alright I see.” he let out a breath, “I seriously have some sucking up to do.”
“Why? What’d you do now?”
“Don’t you understand? If he’s basically your father figure, and I’m trying to have you as my wife—”
“Ohhhh now you’re worried about him finding out.” you interrupt him, too nervous to hear the full implication “Awww I think you're too late. I think he already knows.”
He lets out a loud groan, putting his head in his hands. Then he turns his head to look at you, smiling at you.
“It’s ok, I think it’s worth it.” He says, grinning at you glowing in the warm lights of the street. As you approached you humble abode, he interrupted the calm silence between the two of you.
“You wouldn’t reckon I would have some good luck tonight do you think?” he pointed to his cheek.
“Don’t push it.”
“Come on, a little peck would give me some good luck.”
“Good night.” You firmly said, a playful smile grazing your lips. He only huffed a chuckle, putting his head down, his hands in his back pockets.
“Enjoy your holiday with your family.” you say as you push him slightly away.
“Haven’t got one miss.” your face fell at the declaration, movement slowing down as you peered at his face.
“You don’t have a house to go home to?” you inquired.
He only smiled and shook his head.
“Caleb.”
His eyes widened in surprise at the warm feeling of your lips upon his cheek. Him looking up at your face as you backed away, warmth covering your face.
“Good night. And good luck.” as you shut the door.
You didn't know what came over you, but when morning came and you demanded his housemates wake him up from his sleep the words that left your mouth was how you ended up sitting in front of him at your mother’s dinner table and you mother to your right. You could only widely stared at the blissful smile Caleb had on his face while he ate the home cooked baked chicken on his plate. How could he be so unfazed in this situation?
Your mother had been quiet the entire time. Flustered at the guest you brought home and his oddly polite manners. The last time your brought a boy home was when you were in high school and your mother nearly kicked him out for his brash attitude. But between the small talk between the two you hefted another heavy breath at the sensation of Caleb's foot caressing your leg under the table cloth.
Your skin began to feel hot as his foot brushed against your leg more deliberately. Leaning over your place to get your hair to cover your face as you tried to steady your breathing.
“This is really good by the way Ms. L/N.” he cheekily said.
Your mother smiled at his enthusiasm, "Oh, than you. To be honest, it's been awhile since I've cooked for more than two people."
“So Caleb, what’s your branch of work? Y/N hardly told me anything about you.”
“Oh? Has she spoken about me before?” you cleared your throat for him to drop it.
“He works under the General too, mom."
"Oh? Are you a secretary too? You know, that man does not do well with others so hopefully he hasn't given you a hard time."
"Well I’m a pilot, so I think it'd be bound for him to bully us soldiers” he chuckled as he swallowed his food down. You kicked him under the table, giving him the 'shut up' look.
“I’m sorry? A pilot?” your mom questioned.
“Yeah, y’know of the aviation branch. I just graduated as a pilot, for the General actually.”
The facial expression on your mother’s face turned into a deep stone.
“So you'll be off to join the war soon then?”
"Yep. It's my duty to protect the motherland...and the ones I love." He admitted, looking at you.
"I see."
You all continued eating your meal in awkward silence.
…
“When I was told you were going to work for that man, I thought you told me you would never bring home one of his soldiers. I told you to stay away from men like that, Y/N.” your mother said exasperated, quickly scrubbing at the finished dishes.
“It’s--complicated. We went out a few times and I kind of like him. I guess. I mean--he’s not like the slobbering, blubbering airheads that normally come through training. And he’s just… charming, I guess.” you look off, avoiding her scared eyes.
A deep sigh resounds from the older woman, "No Y/N. I can't support this. Not willingly after I know what I know now."
"Mama please. What about dad?"
“Don’t bring him up please.” her eyes pleading.
“But why? You fell in love with him knowing his position in this world.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. “I know you're an adult now, and you can make your own decisions.” She cupped your face in her cold worn out hands, “I’m so lucky to have you here with me now. But I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did.”
You put your hands over hers in reassurance.
“It’s a different world now mama. There’s more men on the frontlines now, there’s more technology. The war is almost over, I know it. I won’t go through the same thing. I promise.”
~
Caleb tried not to eavesdrop in on the conversation. He couldn’t help it though, anything involving him would catch his ear. He had a new goal to achieve now. He heard your promise to your mother. He had to keep his end of his deal and make sure his new wife would never go through such a tragic situation. That would be his first promise.
Before he could get caught, he silently walked away and headed to get ready for bed. Your mother arranged the guest bedroom for him in haste and to make sure you both would sleep away from each other. Though when he promised her to be good, she could only raise her eyebrow and bid him a good night.
He playfully winked at you and you rolled your eyes and bid him a good night as well, heading to your childhood room. not knowing what mischievous plan he was brewing.
~
“It’s unwise to do such a thing to a girl who’s unmarried and in her own mother’s home.” you whispered out, closing your eyes at the sensation of his kisses that traveled down your neck, then to the top of your soft breast. He pulled down the straps of your nightie, still littering kisses over your boobs. You brought your finger to your mouth to stop the whimper that almost escaped.
“Then marry me.” he stated, pulling away from your body, looking up at you in a serious expression within the dim room. “Marry me Y/N.”
You let out a gasp, speechless you let him continue lathering his saliva amongst your boobs, taking your right perked nipple within his mouth, groaning low.
“Wha- what do you mean Caleb?” you stop him, pulling his head back to look at him in his enchanting eyes. "Th-that's not -hah- how you ask something like that."
“C’mon you didn’t stop to think maybe just once that I did all the things I did to get your attention? Sweeping duty isn’t exactly something I enjoy unless I get to be in the same room as you.”
He took a hold of your hand, placing tender kisses in your palm.
“We both know we haven’t gotten all the time in the world now doll. The signal could go off at any time. I want to marry you. Only you.” You looked deep into his purple eyes, carefully searching for a hint of playfulness that he always oozed but it was nowhere to be seen.
“Y/N, I know I barely have money to my name. No family to bring you home to. But I want you to be my family.”
“When it’s all said and done, I'll be in a position to be able to deserve you and devote everything to you. I’ll buy you the perfect house. The flower garden you always wanted. Anything you want. I am devoted to you."
You pulled your hands away from his, grabbing his face instead to press a fierce kiss on his rambling mouth. Hints of tears in your eyeline as you listened to his confession. Pulling away breathless, “I’ll marry you. I want to marry you Caleb. I don’t care about any of that stuff right now. As long as you come back to me. Alive”
You softly moaned at the sudden warm intrusion, hands still intertwined as he slowly moved within your heat. Your lips crashing in desperate pleas to never let go.
“Promise me Caleb. Promise you’ll always come back to me” holding out your pinky, he intertwined his own and kissed them.
“I promise.”
~
It a bit of convincing you mother over the next few days, but when she watched the two of you interact she had softened just a bit. It was a quick elopement that happened the following week. You dressed in the best white dress you had and him in his new Captain uniform. Caleb was giddy the day before and the day of. He couldn't keep his hands off of you, after officially asking you to be his bride. Especially at the prospect of taking your last name. Truly the start of his family. Though, his insistence was also based on the ticking time clock of when all arms were to be deployed or when a declaration of peace was sounded; it plagued both your minds deep down.
Ambivalence stormed on your mother’s face as she did the final checks on your gown and headpiece. You were sure no words of comfort would offer her ease on the thoughts that brewed in her mind. After she was done, she fixed her gaze on your face, seemingly looking for any doubt that clouded your mind. You softly smiled, offering your hands for her to take, enclosing hers in yours and squeezed, hoping to offer some comfort to her inner turmoil. and nodded at her. Her brows unfurrowed, she took a deep breath and nodded, “Ok. You look perfect.” She reached up and caressed you face, smiling small.
The wedding was small and intimate. Just your mother and the General for you. Caleb was against his fellow bunkmates attending for this moment was his and his only. But they snuck in anyways, hooting and hollering and whistling when you both embraced in a passionate kiss to seal your vows. You could only laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.
You both went to a small hotel that night. Privacy was what you both agreed to. Not a big penny to your names, but the glow of a new last name lead your way. You lay your head on his chest that night. Both basking at the closeness of each other's naked bodies. Whispering sweet nothings, small laughs and quiet promises littered the quiet atmosphere.
But who could forget that in the small peaceful moments, when there was doom lurking. The sound of the screeching alarms in the city reverberated out in the early morning, halting all sense of peace, for this was a day your city dreaded the most.
~
The hurried steps of parting families and soldiers littered the area where soldiers would ride off to the main north of where the action was.
“You’ll write to me right?” You asked, kissing his lips again for the 50th time.
“Yes.” another kiss. “Every time something happens I’ll write it down and every time there's a moment of peace, I will send them to you my love.” another kiss.
“Be safe my love.” you whispered, burrowing into his chest.
He pushed a strand of hair back away from your face, leaning down to press a light kiss to the top of you head.
“I promise I’ll come back to you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Sealing the testament in one last kiss, watching his form hop into one of the military trucks as it carried them all away. His smile and wave lasting all the way until they were in the distance you could no longer see.
~
You couldn’t hold the excitement that ran through your body every time you saw mail addressed to you. His battalion had gone down further west, hoping to drive out the other side.
I hope to return to you soon my bride.
You were still stuck writing reports in your small office but being busy at work kept your mind occupied at the very least. You tried your best not to listen to rumors or the hall gossip, but your nosiness could not help it. From what you gathered, your country had pushed the Wanderers back against the wall and it was only a matter of time before they waved the white flag. Mostly helped from the aviation team and their strategies.
On your end however, you had missed your monthlies for two months now, chalking it up to stress of your missing husband and the anxiety of his return. But when you had fainted in the middle of the quiet corridor of the empty camp while handing the General a cup of coffee, it was no longer an option than to have a physician visit you.
“Mrs. L/N, congratulations! You’re with child.” the midwife told you.
Hearing the words leave her mouth, you were in a daze. A family. Caleb's family dream was coming true. Tears stung your eyes, you surely hoped you wouldn’t go through this on your own.
You debated on telling him through your weekly letters, or should you have waited until he returned home. . . whenever that was. . .Too giddy you put ink to paper and began writing the news.
My dear Caleb,
I have the most exciting news that hopeful puts a little hope into your day. Remember when you said I would be your family, well how about another addition? No, don't worry I haven't picked out a dog without you. The most exciting news has come to fruition.
You are going to be a father. How’s that for a little luck?
Please return safely to me. To us.
Your bride
Your mother insisted on you coming back to live with her when you had told her. She was the mother bird flapping her wings around you to get your to take a break. Doing what you could by reading and writing reports and sending them away.
You often looked out the window most days, anticipating the mail vehicle to arrive at your abode.
My Y/N,
The guys made fun of me for crying when I reread your letter. my love are you serious? truly? I wish you could see my expression. I'm grinning ear to ear. If i were a dog I'd be wagging my tail. Tell the General you quit your job. When I come back I'll be there to take care of you. Oh, I can't wait to see you soon. We're planning something big to force those menaces out. If it weren't for the Colonel's lack of leadership we would have done so sooner so I could return to you. But nevertheless, I hope to see you soon.
Caleb
P.S. i can't believe i'm a daddy now!
When you had sent another letter entailing your daily tasks and how you now had a small bump showing you were waiting with baited breath for his response.
But it never came.
1 week turned into 2, then into 3. Then a month passed. The anxiety and overthinking in silence had started to take a toll on you. You found talking to your baby helped ease some of the stress. You stopped eating at some meals. You stopped listening to the news on the tv when reporters said there was lost contact in the west side of the country. It made you sick to your stomach.
The kick at the wall of your stomach took you out of your daze, gazing down at the little bump of yours with a smile on your face. Rubbing it gently,
“It’s ok, my baby. Daddy will be ok.”
2 months go by, before you finally received a letter.
The sound of the knock at the door startled you out of your daze of reading your book. Walking fast to open it, you opened it so see the familiar uniform clad men on your porch. But seeing the General there made your breath hitch. He gazed at you with unusual sympathy. Your began shaking your head slowly. Your brows furrowed, lips wobbled, and eyes beginning to mist.
He took his hat off, showing his distressed face, “I’m sorry Y/N. I truly am.” his arm extending out to hand you the cruel heavy letter.
The sound of the front door vase was what startled your mother. Running to the front of the house to see you sunken down onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, the tears fat and never ending. The door left wide open, rain began pouring off of the veranda of the porch. She ran to your pregnant body and held you close, shushing your cries.
“MAMA!” You wailed in her arms, her hands stroking your head as your body shook in painful tremors. “HE’S GONE! He’s gone! MY HUSBAND IS GONE!”
"My husband is gone!”
To Mrs. L/N,
We regret to inform you that Battalion EVE perished one month back when the Wanderers side had dropped the last of its bombs onto the west side in its last defense. Just recently we found out when coming back into contact. We are still sorting through those who have perished. We truly sympathize and give our condolences. We have returned Captain Xia's tags. We are truly sorry for your loss.
~
You began living as a ghost of yourself. You had never felt such grief before. You had stopped eating. Stopped showering. stopped taking care of yourself. Stopped living.
You only had the energy to sleep in bed all day, clutching the cool metal of dog tags in your hands. You had no more tears left to cry. Your mother tried her best to get you to eat and use the bathroom.
“It would be good for the baby.” she suggested with a small smile.
That did it. The baby. Your baby. His baby. Our baby. The last piece of the man you loved was still within you. And your heart suddenly swelled.
“I’m sorry my baby. I missed daddy so much I haven’t been paying good attention to you. I’m such a bad mommy aren’t I?” your eyes watered, lips trembling, tears slipping out but you let them flow on your small protruding tummy. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me. Right?”
So you tried. With the help of your mom, you began to regain a small glow about you. Would eat as much as your body would allow, drank what you could, tried to walk outside in the fresh air again. You really did try, but it was hard to forget the weight of loss on your mind.
When your mother was out on errands, you were up trying to make yourself busy by cleaning around the house. When wiping down the counters you felt the subtle shake around you. The sounds of rattling glassware and the heavy wooden furniture slowly reached your ears. You could only gasp and widen your eyes in slow motion when the sound of the explosion pierced your ears as the outside alarms went off, glass and wood splinters crackling in the vicinity.
~
The small underground bunker shook as another explosion shook from above ground.
“ARGHHHH” you screamed out. The tearing within your lower abdomen was a burning and tearing sensation. Like the evil of the world was trying to tear your baby away from your nurturing womb.
“Miss, please you must calm down. We’re trying to help you.” an agonizing voice pierced through your haze. It was a midwife,
You were inconsolable. Your mother, who's hair was in a mess and face painted in soot and dirt, wiped at your forehead and shushed your cries.
“PLEASE! DON’T TAKE MY BABY FROM ME!" you wailed in agony. The heavy movements in your womb began to strain, traveling down with the force of gravity, spilling out contents onto the plain floor. Blood stained your nightgown, your legs, and the floor beneath you as you screamed out in pain. The pain in your chest could not compare to what was spilling out of you in the moment.
“Please, they’re all I have left…” you blubbered out, before the sensation of numbness overtook your consciousness. All you could hear in the distance was your painful sobs and the hundreds of apologies that left those around you.
“All I can say is that her body was stressed. It wasn’t healthy for the womb. . . Loss has an affect on her mentality as well as her health. . . We have to relocate everyone here, so we’re keeping her asleep until then. . . Please make sure she rests plenty to recover. It will be a while before she’ll be back to herself. . .when the war is over. . .
~
A year had come and gone. The war was finally over. You had heard conversations in passing. Someone new had taken charge and risked it all to end the cruel war. Soldiers returned back home and cities were still in the process of being rebuilt. You never returned back home. You and your mother moved further east to enjoy the quiet in a quaint area. More rural with the rebuilding, but everyone made due.
Often, you sat outside by the willow tree that was planted a little off from you small home. A book in your lap, page never turned, your mind quiet for once. The wind felt nice as it softly kissed your face, hair whisping in rhythm. Next to you were the small pieces of stone that commemorated your loved ones. You father, your husband, and your baby.
You didn't think you'd ever move on. They were never coming back. He was never coming back.
It took a while but you did receive Caleb’s benefit money as a fallen soldier. You weren't sure what to do with it at first. It was suspiciously too much than the average widow would get.
. . .Ah. That's right. . .
You are a widow now. . .
But you assumed it had something to do with the General’s favor. You were even offered a position by his side again, though in a more remote position since he decided to step down as a drill soldier and work behind the desk. But you politely declined; over and done with your motherland’s cruel reminders.
You instead used the money to start up your own backyard garden to sell flowers. Just like you wanted. And every weekend you would visit the willow tree to replace the flowers for your family’s graves. There wasn’t much to bury, but you were determined to remember them in this way. This was your promise.
There was a hurried loud knock at the glass window of the general’s door. He put his cigar down, letting out a puff, “Come in.”
The less than competent timid secretary stuttered out, “S-sorry sir. I didn’t receive any heads up about this I swear!”
“What’s going on?” came the General's gruff voice.
“The colonel is here!” he squeaked out, making the General jump out of his seat at the announcement.
The General stomped through the halls, determined to get an explanation at the sudden intrusion. He walked past the front desk, seeing the figure curiously looking over the photos that lined the wall. The photos of past battalions with smiling soldiers.
“Sir. To what do I owe the pleasure of such an unannounced visit?” the General stood before him, standing straighter in respect.
A small laugh pierced the warm lit area between the two.
“Oh, don’t worry big guy. No need to get so formal with me. I just wanted to visit an old friend.” The colonel turned around, his familiar deep mauve eyes and that damn smirk on his face making the General go rigid at the sight.
“My god.” his eyes widened, before hardening his face. "Since when have dead men roamed the world?"
“What can I say? I love being the first." He chuckled, "Anyways, I stopped by for a drink. I know you still keep your whiskey in your office.” walking past the hulking man and patting him on the back.
Caleb began explaining his tale when he poured out the whiskey he grabbed from under the General's desk. He was eventually found under the rubble, after the surprise attack on his unit. Nursed back to health before he could move around again. Unfortunately he had to get his arm amputated as the bones were nowhere near saving. It was new experience to get used to, the robotic part of him not becoming a hindrance. In his eyes, he couldn’t go back home as a mere Captain with nothing to prove it. He had a family to come back home to. He had a wife who deserved a house with her garden. His child deserved a father who would be there to take of them. He wouldn't return until the war was over, just like he promised.
Basically, he traveled back east to do what he does best--climbing up the ranks by force--impressing that mean old Colonel when he stormed up to his office and demanded a new course of action to end the war once and for all.
The General only stared at him in disbelief and anger as his story came to end.
“What about your wife? Have you seen her yet?” the General mumbled out. “She relocated after the bombs were dropped on your home city.”
The drink cup halted midair, “I heard something like that.”
Caleb's lips curled into a grim leer, “To be honest, I’m scared. I haven't seen her at all. You had already delivered the news of my death. I assume she’s already forgotten all about me. I haven’t written, haven’t called. It was better letting her think I’m dead until I’ve accomplished what I needed to do. Until the war was over. Because I promised I would come back when it was all said and done.”
“You’re one horrible guy. She’s already suffered enough.” the General shook his head, “I should kick your ass for this.”
Caleb only hummed at the threat. “Well I guess I’m putting you in charge then. Make sure nothing happens on your end while I’m gone, yeah?” dusting off his pants as he stood up.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Can’t have my wife thinking I’m a horrible guy.”
~
It was like any other day, except the streets were filled with cheers as the majority of your town was rebuilt. The threat of airstrikes is no longer present, the relief that soldiers would be back home, your dear country would be free from old threats and you could finally breathe easy.
You couldn’t care less. It was a good thing that it was over. But it did not mitigate the fact that the war took what was most precious to you.
You walked out to the willow tree as usual, a new bundle of flowers you had grown for your baby. Softly touching the buds as the breeze made them dance in your arms.
You halted in your steps up the small hill where your family lay. There stood an unfamiliar figure standing there, under your willow tree. A figure clad in military attire stood under the shadow of the tree. You could only see his back, see that he stood unmoving as he gazed down at the spots that lay. You frowned, not sure if it was safer to approach or to leave. But who in the world would visit such a place?
With the sensation of your unsure eyes burning into the back of his head, the figure turned his head slightly, eyes widening at your presence.
You were beautiful.
What’s important is that you look healthy. Your hair swayed in the slight breeze, the dress you wore complimented your tone, the pretty flowers in your arms adding to the flare, and the setting sun on your figure brought it all together. He turned towards you fully, reaching up to slowly take off his hat, revealing the mauve eyes with the sparkle of pink swirling within them that charmed you from the start.
The bundle of flowers dropped from your arms onto the meadow ground. You sucked in a breath. Your heartbeat picked up in pace, the sound loudly resounding in your ears. Your eyes blurred for a moment, not sure what you were seeing was real. Your hands switched at your sides, unsure to reach out to the figure and be disappointed at the mirage.
You began lightly laughing, tears burning your eyes. Your body began to shake at the sight your mind was tricking you with. There was an uncomfortable lump in your throat that you tried to swallow down. You looked down at the ground, aggressively wiping at your face to get rid of the tears and the snot that was coming out.
He swallowed in nervousness, trying his best to maintain a neutral face to gauge your actions.
He slowly approached you, taking small steps to not startle you.
“What’s happening to me?” you tittered, voice sore from the lump in your throat that you tried to push down. “You’re supposed to be gone. Why am I seeing now? I…I was over this. I was. Why?” you mumbled through the ache in your throat.
You felt gloved hands softly grab your hands, stopping you from rubbing your face raw. You sniffled as you looked up into the eyes that always enchanted your thoughts.
“Caleb?” your voice wobbled out, heartbroken at the sight.
His hands let go of yours and reached up to cup your face, thumbs softly wiping at the excess tears that were still escaping from your shimmering eyes.
His speech was rendered the moment he got to touch you like this. It’s been so long. So long since he’s been able to hold you like this. Able to see you alive, breathing and real like this. His heart tightened at the sight of you subconsciously leaning into his touch.
“My bride. My love. My Y/N. Did you miss me?” He reached up to brush a strand of hair as he used to do—
Abruptly, you stopped him. Pushing his hands away, eyes wide and breathing uneven, unbelieving what you were seeing, “Don’t touch me.”
“Y/N please.” he whispered desperately.
“You—You!” You screamed in disbelief, arms swinging sporadically. “You broke your promise! W-why are you here? You’re alive? You…you’re supposed to be dead!”
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Y/N.” taking in your struggle, hopelessly trying to have his touch on you again by slowly rendering your erratic movements.
“I hate you.” your voice small and broken as you continued, You crumbled in the familiar embrace as his warm arms wrapped around you.
“I’m here. I’m alive. . .Just let me hold you. . .Please. . ."
When you calmed down your feelings and thoughts, you released yourself from his familiar embrace and just stared at him. You ran your hands over his arms, his chest, and up to his face to make sure that his solid mass was real and not an illusion. He nuzzled into your hand silently and kissed your palm before looking at you too.
"You're really here?" you asked in a small voice.
"Yes, I'm here. Like I promised."
You nodded at his confirmation and took a deep breath and looked down, "Oh no, the flowers." You reached down to pick them up but he beat you to it.
"It's for us isn't it?" he asked.
"Mhm" you gently answered.
With the flowers in one arm, he used his other to grab your hand. Slowly walking with you back to the willow tree and standing in front of the memorial. He let go of your hand to bend down and place the flowers down.
"Hi my baby. Daddy's here now. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here sooner. But I'll take care of mommy now okay?"
Your eyes began to water all over again, looking at your family together like this had you feeling conflicted. If only you could've been in a different world with your small family. When he stood back up, he turned towards you and embraced you strongly and whispered in your ear, "You're so strong baby. No apology of mine will make it better, but I will continue to beg for forgiveness until the end of time."
Two broken lovers now stood in the meadow picking up the shattered pieces among the forgotten rubble, the setting sun disappearing to make way for its lover to shine down.
~
It was an odd adjustment, having him back in your life. The night he came back, he carried you back to your house and you both slept the rest of night away in saddened tiredness. You had never heard your mother scream bloody murder until she had come to wake you up the next morning and found him lying there with you.
That dinner was one of the most awkward moments of your life considering she wouldn’t stop the suspicious looks she gave him when he explained all the events that went down.
He was close to you all the time. Wouldn’t let you out of his sight, like he was scared you wouldn't be there if you turned the corner or walked down the hall without him. He held you closer at night. Tangling your limbs in bed, seeming to want to merge your bodies into one, breathing in tandem, eye gazing, timid soft brushes of lips against your skin.
You were scared to ask when he would return to duty. His excuse being that the motherland was too busy to notice the Colonel was missing in action. Besides, he 'missed out on all the actual husband duties'.
He became a true house husband. Cleaning around, taking care of the groceries, cooking the meals, doing the laundry, etc. You could only stare in awe every time he did something. Like one rub of your eye and the illusion would break. But here he was. Acting like the little routine you both had was going on for decades now. Now he helped you out in the garden and tended to the pesky bugs with you. Anything to be close to you.
One day he had disappeared from the house without a word and you almost had a mental break down until he came back holding a box with cut holes in it. His confused and concerned face making you feel guilt. He held you close and whispered how everything was just fine and he would be more mindful of those sort of things. Then you felt the soft wet licks of a tongue before you realized he had went out and rescued a puppy for the both of you.
Eventually, you mother decided the house wouldn't fit you all and she offered to move out despite the protests from you both. But she insisted that a married couple needed their space.
Caleb was the one to walk her out at last.
She sighed, turning to him with a serious look and firmly spoke, “Y/N was really broken. Please don’t disappear again. I never want to see her like that again, son.”
Caleb’s eyes shined at the small acceptance of his mother. Nodding solemnly at their silent promise. She patted him on his cheek and went on her way. “Take care.”
That night in bed Caleb held you even tighter, you even had to hit him and yell at him to back off because you weren’t able to breathe.
~
You were on top of him, arms curled around his neck as you littered kisses on his face.
“I held to my end of the promise. I came back to you under the circumstance that the war was over.”
“Oh I bet the Colonel didn’t like that very much.”
“He did not. But no one was getting in my way of finding out how to end the war and find my way back to you after I heard what happened to the city. It's nice here though, you chose well baby."
I wanted to reach out after he told me the news of my death was communicated to you. See if you survived. To tell you I was alive. To tell you not to worry. But I thought it was better knowing I was gone so you could focus on keeping yourself safe. That way I could focus on one goal at a time.”
“Such a stupid way of thinking Caleb.” you shook your head and pouted at him.
“I know, I’m stupid. I half expected you to jump in my arms or at least beat me up when I showed my face again.” you just gave him a glare in return.
“Of course, there were some setbacks.” He said, sheepishly gesturing to his half mutilated limb. He lightly shivered at the grazing of your hand over his new scars that covered half of the right side of his body.
You tangled your fingers into his rough textured hand, the one last reminder of the travesties he had faced. “That doesn’t matter. You’re alive. You came back to me alive Caleb.” pressing a kiss to his hand.
His rough hands roamed around your backside, sending shivers down your spine as your breaths began to pick up in speed. Your mouths started out in a slow dance before becoming brash and you both kissed each other harder. You began grinding your pussy against the tented fabric below you. His hand reached under your nightgown to grip and grab your fleshy ass, reaching to the front of your panties to draw tantalizing circles against your mound. He moaned into your mouth at the wet feeling. He pulled his hand away and pulled away from your lips, looking at you with a lustful gaze. He gripped your hips before slowly rolling you on the side and onto your backside so he could look at you from above.
"Such a pretty wife I have." he mumbled out.
You couldn't help the small whimper that left you. He reached down to grab your breasts and massaged them in his big hands, occasionally flicking your nipples. He then put his mouth to your tit and began taking turns sucking each. While his mouth was occupied, his hands went back down to your panties and peeled them off of you, putting his fingers to work to open you up.
"So good baby." you moaned out, fingers running through his hair, body getting hotter with the way he was working you up.
He pulled away, spit connecting his tongue to your body, and pumped a little deeper into your pussy. Mesmerized by the sight of you beginning to writhe. He slowly pulled his fingers out and watched the way your breasts moved up and down at your shallow breaths.
"Hold on doll, I got you. Caleb's got you, just wait."
You watched with bated breath as he pulled his pants and boxers down, his dick flush against his abdomen. It was the right length and girth for your greedy pussy to take. Oh, you hadn't had it in so long.
"Let me suck it, Caleb. Please." you whined.
"No, baby. We have plenty of time for that. Right now I want to be stuffed in my wife's sweet cunt." He bent down to give a kiss to your pulsating hole, licking up your building juices and spitting it back on it. He lined himself up and ground the tip against your clit. Your whines and thrashing is what gave him the signal that he could push in.
"Ugnh, so good. Hahh, I missed this so much." He slowly pulled halfway out before pushing back in, groaning at the tight grip you had on him.
You could feel the raw feeling of his cock deep within, every vein, every pulsation. You subconsciously tightened your walls on him once he set up a steady rhythm.
"Hnn, doll don't do that, you're going to make me cum too fast."
Soon, he grabbed one leg and lifted it to his hip bone, hand tight on your knee, hitting a new gooey spot that make you whimpered in pleasure. Then he began raising it further up to where your calf rested on his shoulder. He began pistoning in and out faster, breaths uneven as he beat up your pussy.
"God, this pussy is heavenly. Could stay here forever, can't believe I married this, can't believe i get to have this all the time ahhh" He turned his head to the leg resting on his shoulder and began pressing small kisses to your calf. You clenched your foot at the sight and gasped at the sudden sensation of your orgasm hitting you so fast.
"Oh god! Caleb! I- I'm coming, coming!" he chuckled at the sight of you throwing your head back in pleasure, reaching his other hand down to play with your sensitive clit to help you ride out your orgasm. "Yes baby, just like that, just like that, so good for me." keeping his thrusts at the same pace, then switching to a deeper stroke to deliver himself to cum.
All through the night he delivered his and your pleasure. The love making lasted for hours, sheets ruined and bodies littered with marks by the end of it. After being away for so long, the unison of your bodies couldn't be stopped.
"Ah! Caleb stop!" you said, hitting him to get his grimy hands away form your breasts. "They're all swollen now."
"But they're mine" he pouted.
"They won't be if you don't give me a break, you big baby."
"But I'm your big baby." He winked at you. He grabbed your hand and kissed your wedding ring.
“Thank you.” the sudden change stopped your protests as you looked at him in confusion.
“Thank you for marrying me Y/N. Thank you for making me keep my promise.”
~
“Pwshhhhh! Vrooommm! Captain we’re going down! AHHH TAKE COVER!” came the loud child’s voice.
His father's laughter and goading following, "Hurry Captain we must deploy out parachutes!"
You lean against the backdoor, watching him play with the model airplanes he built with your son . The baby in your arms wriggles around and you shush her back to peaceful slumber. Your index finger carefully caresses her soft chubby cheek.
He looks up at you, giving his charming smile, his violaceous eyes glowing in admiration. You smiled back.
Word count: Around 3k-3.2k. I'll have to more accurately figure it out when I get home.
Author note: This was inspired by XavierCaleb8 on tik Tok ✨ Caleb also might be a bit out of character. 🥹
Tags: Established Relationship, Promposal, Slow Dancing, Beach Walk, First Love, Safe & Gentle Love, Emotional Confession, Stargazing, Soft Boy Caleb, Childhood Friends to Lovers
Summary: Y/N and Caleb have been best friends since childhood, now together, their bond runs deeper than words. When prom night approaches, Caleb surprises her with a heartfelt promposal made of origami stars and a handmade airplane. On the night of the dance, he’s left speechless seeing her descend the stairs, overwhelmed by how much he loves her. After sharing a slow dance surrounded by golden lights, they sneak away to a quiet beach. There, under a sky full of stars, they open up about their fears and future, promising to grow together, wherever life takes them.
I should’ve known Caleb was planning something.
There had been signs. The way he’d gone quiet, disappearing between classes and slipping out early after lunch. The way Gideon had started avoiding eye contact every time I asked where Caleb had gone. The buzz in the halls, the subtle glances, the kind of nervous excitement that always bloomed right before something big.
Still… nothing could’ve prepared me for this.
I stepped into the hallway, and for a moment, the noise faded, swallowed whole by the sight in front of me. The corridor had been transformed into something ethereal, something quiet and otherworldly. Violet, orange, and navy blue origami stars blanketed the floor like delicate constellations, scattered as if the universe itself had spilled across the tiles. They shimmered faintly under the fluorescent lights, each fold catching the glow like it held a secret.
My breath hitched. My heart stumbled.
It was beautiful.
And it was for me.
A mix of awe and embarrassment welled in my chest, making me want to both laugh and hide all at once. My classmates stood to the sides, some gasping, some already filming, their phones raised high like antennae catching every second. Their reactions blurred, distant and unreal, like background noise in a dream.
And at the center of it all stood Gideon, his grin so wide it practically split his face. He held a bright sign above his head, hand-painted with glowing strokes of color. The message was simple, but the way it made my stomach flip was anything but:
Turn around.
I did.
Slowly.
And there he was.
Caleb.
Leaning casually against the lockers, hands tucked into the front pocket of his hoodie. But there was nothing casual about him, not really. His eyes, those deep violet eyes, were locked on me with a softness that melted through my skin. They shimmered with something unspoken, something nervous and hopeful all at once. His usual calm was replaced by a kind of tension, like he was bracing himself for impact.
For my answer.
A breath left me in a rush, and I took a hesitant step forward, my heels clicking softly on the tile. Caleb straightened, pulling something from behind his back.
“I couldn’t find the right words, pipsqueak,” he said, his voice warm and slightly rough, tinged with a nervous smile. “So I made somethin’ instead.”
He held it out with both hands, a model airplane, small and beautifully crafted, its wings painted in deep orange and navy hues with lilac detailing across the body. The colors were unmistakably mine. It looked fragile, like one gust of wind might carry it away, but he cradled it like it meant everything to him.
On one of the wings, in swirling, hand-drawn letters, was a single word:
Prom?
My heart gave a sharp tug.
“You made this?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
He nodded. “Took a while,” he murmured, glancing down at the plane before returning his gaze to mine. “You remember that night you told me about your dream? Flying above the clouds… just you and someone who loves you?”
I swallowed, nodding slowly.
“Well…” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to something more intimate. “I figured maybe I could be the one to give you those wings first.”
He leaned in, close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath against my cheek, the faint scent of cedar and salt clinging to him. His fingers brushed mine as he placed the plane into my hands. “If you’ll let me.”
My eyes blurred with tears. I smiled through them and leaned up to kiss him,soft, grateful, certain.
“Yes.”
The house was too still.
The kind of quiet that settled into the walls and made every creak of the floorboard feel like a thunderclap. Outside, the sun had just begun to set, casting golden streaks of light through the windows, bathing the living room in a gentle glow. The soft ticking of the clock above the fireplace filled the silence, steady, rhythmic, like a countdown.
He was already ready.
I could feel him, even from upstairs. His presence pulsed through the space between us like gravity, familiar and solid and a little bit terrifying, only because of how much he meant to me.
I stood in front of the mirror, hands trembling slightly as I adjusted the neckline of my dress. Midnight blue fabric hugged me like a second skin, cascading into soft, rippling folds that caught the light every time I moved. My hair fell around my shoulders in loose waves.
I swallowed hard.
I wasn’t used to seeing myself like this. Polished. Dressed up. Beautiful.
And part of me worried, not about how I looked, but about what I was stepping into tonight. Because it wasn’t just prom. It was something bigger. It was stepping into a new chapter of us. Of growing up. Of possibly falling even harder.
I took one last breath, then stepped into the hallway.
The wooden stairs creaked gently beneath my heels as I descended, each step slower than the last. My pulse thundered in my ears. And then,
I saw him.
Caleb stood at the bottom of the stairs, his back to the door, dressed in a tailored black suit that made my knees weak. His hair was brushed back, slightly messy in that perfectly careless way that suited him. A deep violet boutonnière rested on his lapel, tied in with the same ribbon from the stars he’d folded days ago.
And he looked up.
His eyes met mine.
Everything froze.
His lips parted. His shoulders locked. His entire body stilled, as if the breath had been punched from his lungs.
“I-” he started, then stopped. His throat bobbed with a swallow. “Y/N…”
His voice was hoarse. He blinked rapidly, eyes darting over every inch of me, from the way the dress clung to my waist to the fall of my hair around my collarbone.
“You… you look-” he tried again, his voice catching on the words. “God.”
He stepped forward slowly, like I might vanish if he moved too fast.
“You’re… stunnin’,” he finally managed, barely above a whisper. “No, I- damn, that’s not even close. You’re…” He paused, biting down on his lip as his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “You’ve always been beautiful. Always. But tonight? You look like the stars got jealous and tried to copy you. Like I’m dreamin’ and someone’s gonna wake me up.”
Caleb reached for me.
His hand trembled as it came up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingertips grazing my skin with a reverence that made my breath catch.
“I think my heart actually stopped,” he murmured. “Just… standin’ there, seein’ you. You took every word outta my mouth.”
My chest ached in the best way.
“Caleb,” I whispered, not trusting myself to say more.
“I knew I’d fall in love with you again tonight,” he said quietly, his voice cracking. “But I didn’t know it’d hit me this hard.”
We stood there in the soft hush of the fading afternoon, his hands warm against my waist, his gaze never leaving mine. The world outside kept turning, but ours, ours had paused just long enough to let us feel everything.
And just as he leaned in, lips barely brushing mine, a sharp click cut through the silence.
“Don’t mind me!” Gran’s voice called from the foyer, camera raised, silver hair catching the last golden rays. “Smile, lovebirds!”
We laughed, breathless and flushed, and turned toward the camera, faces close, hearts closer.
Click.
A snapshot of something real.
The gym didn’t look like a gym.
Gone were the dusty bleachers and scuffed floors I’d passed a thousand times without thinking. Tonight, everything shimmered. Twinkling string lights hung from the rafters like stars caught mid-fall, golden and low, casting a soft glow over the entire room. Long swaths of fabric drifted from the ceiling in pale, cloudlike waves. Someone had lit cinnamon-scented candles near the punch table- faint, but warm, like something nostalgic clinging to the air.
It should’ve felt surreal.
But Caleb’s hand on the small of my back kept me grounded. Steady. Real.
Since I’d stepped down those stairs, he hadn’t let go of me, not even once. His touch was never possessive, just… constant. Like he was quietly reminding himself I was here, that this wasn’t a dream.
We entered the room together, his palm brushing mine before he gently took my hand again. Music pulsed through the speakers, something loud and bright, the kind of pop anthem that made people dance like they were chasing a high. All around us, couples and friend groups laughed, shouted, posed for pictures, spun wildly under the lights.
Caleb didn’t seem to notice any of it.
His eyes kept drifting back to me, even as we wandered past classmates and teachers, even as we were ushered toward the photo booth.
“Are you okay?” I asked softly, nudging him as we stood in line.
He nodded, then shrugged. “It’s loud,” he said with a crooked smile. “And kinda over-the-top. But… you look happy. So I’m happy.”
I smiled, leaning into him.
Click. The photo booth flashed, catching us in that moment, my cheek pressed to his shoulder, his lips barely hiding a grin.
We mingled a little, Caleb tolerating the small talk like a soldier enduring a long campaign. He didn’t say much, but he stayed close, offering me a drink from the punch table, slipping his arm around my waist when someone got a little too loud near us, brushing his knuckles down my arm when I started to fidget.
At one point, someone handed me a cup of bright red punch.
Caleb raised an eyebrow. “You trust that?”
I laughed. “You don’t?”
He took the cup fro me before chugging it and getting a new cup before handing it to me to drink. I laugh as I took it and finished the cup.
We drifted toward the edge of the dance floor, the lights flickering overhead, music still thumping.
“You’re not gonna dance?” I teased.
He raised a brow. “This?” He motioned to the frenzied crowd. “Nah. I’m savin’ my energy for the part that matters.”
“Oh?” I lifted an eyebrow, heart fluttering.
He didn’t elaborate. Just looked at me, like he was waiting.
Then, the lights dimmed.
The music shifted.
A slow, honey-thick melody spilled into the room like the fading glow of sunset. The bass softened. The voices quieted. Couples moved closer. The entire gym seemed to exhale.
Caleb stirred beside me.
He didn’t say a word. Just turned to me, eyes soft, and extended his hand, palm open, fingers slightly curled, waiting for mine like he already knew I would take it.
I did.
He guided me gently onto the dance floor, slipping one arm around my waist. The other found my hand, cradling it with surprising care. We began to sway.
It wasn’t practiced. It wasn’t polished.
It was better.
Caleb didn’t lead with flashy moves or try to be charming. He just held me. Close. Solid. Reverent. Like I was something sacred and fragile all at once.
My head found his chest without thinking, and I could feel his heartbeat beneath the layers of fabric, steady, but a little quick.
“Not too bad,” I whispered, teasing.
He huffed a breath of a laugh near my ear. “Told you I was savin’ my best for you.”
We moved in slow, easy circles, surrounded by flickering lights and the low hum of voices fading into the background. I didn’t know how long we danced like that. Maybe minutes. Maybe hours. Time felt strange here, wrapped in his arms.
“I used to imagine this,” I murmured. “Not the prom part. Just… this.”
Caleb tilted his head slightly. “Yeah?”
I nodded against his shoulder. “Being held like this. Feeling… safe. Wanted.”
His arms tightened around me. “You are. Always have been.”
A lump formed in my throat.
“I know I’m not the best at sayin’ things,” he continued softly, his voice barely above the music, “but… I think about you all the time. Even when I’m tryin’ not to. And when I look at you, like really look, I just… I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
I pulled back slightly to meet his gaze. His eyes glowed under the lights, not just violet, but soft and full of something deeper. Something permanent.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of what?”
“Of growing up. Of losing this.”
Caleb’s jaw flexed. Then he leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Then don’t,” he whispered. “Grow with me instead. Wherever we go… just come with me.”
My breath hitched. I could feel tears prickling behind my eyes.
“I will,” I whispered.
His lips brushed mine, not a kiss, just a promise. A spark. A question he already knew the answer to.
The air outside was cool against my skin, brushing my cheeks like a secret.
Behind us, the gym still pulsed with music and laughter, muffled by the thick summer air. But out here, everything felt different. Quieter. Realer.
Caleb laced his fingers through mine as we walked, his thumb tracing small circles across the back of my hand. Neither of us said much. We didn’t need to. His silence was never empty, it was full of thought, of feeling, of things he only said with touches and glances and the way he never, ever let go.
“Wanna go somewhere?” he asked after a while, voice low beneath the streetlamps.
I turned to him. “Where?”
He gave me a look, one that was playful and a little serious at the same time. “You’ll see.”
The drive was short.
Early 2000s music filled the silence. The windows were cracked, letting in the salt-heavy air from the coast. I could hear the distant crash of waves before we even parked, and my heart fluttered in recognition.
The beach.
Of course.
It stretched before us like something out of a painting, golden sand cool beneath our feet, the water dark and endless beneath the rising moon. The sky above was velvet-black, stitched with stars that blinked lazily from so far away. The tide whispered its lullaby as it curled toward the shore and retreated again.
Caleb slid off his shoes, rolled up his pants, and walked barefoot toward the edge of the water. He didn’t look back, but I followed without hesitation, stepping into the cool sand beside him.
When the ocean kissed our ankles, I shivered, and he immediately reached for my hand again.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded, smiling through the chill. “Yeah. I just… needed this.”
He gave a small hum of agreement. “Me too.”
We stood in the shallows for a while, watching the moon ripple across the surface of the sea, saying nothing. Just being.
“Can you believe we’re almost done with this chapter?” I asked eventually. “School. Everything. It feels like we were just kids playing tag in the courtyard, and now…”
“I’ve been thinkin’ about that a lot,” he said, his voice quieter than before. “More than I expected to.”
I looked over at him. “About what comes next?”
He didn’t answer right away. His gaze was fixed on the horizon, like he was watching a future he hadn’t dared speak aloud.
“I’ve been thinkin’ about us,” he said at last. “What we come next.”
My breath caught.
He turned to face me, his expression soft but serious.
“I don’t care where I end up,” he said. “The DeepSpace Aviation Association. Some fancy program. Workin’ two jobs while I try to figure it out. Hell, I’d dig ditches if I had to. Doesn’t matter. As long as I get to come home to you.”
I could feel the words like a heartbeat in my chest.
“Caleb…”
His hands found my waist again, warm even in the cool breeze. “I mean it,” he murmured. “You’re my person. Always have been. You’re the one thing in my life I’ve never second-guessed. Never wanted to run from.”
I reached up, cupping his face in my hands. “You’ve always been the safe place in my story,” I whispered. “Even when I didn’t realize it.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing that in like it was air he needed.
We stood there, barely swaying, like the tide might carry us off if we let it.
“I used to wish on stars,” I said. “Not for love, I already had that with you. I’d wish I’d never have to leave the people I love behind… or be left behind myself.”
Caleb opened his eyes and stared straight into mine, steady, violet, certain.
“You don’t have to wish anymore,” he said, his voice barely a breath. “You’ve got me. For as long as you’ll have me.”
And then he kissed me.
Not fast. Not urgent.
It was slow, and tender, and full of everything we hadn’t said, all the years between us, all the nights we’d spent wondering if we’d ever get here.
His hand slid into my hair. Mine curled around the collar of his jacket. We didn’t need fireworks or grand declarations. Just this. Just the hush of the waves and the stars as our witnesses.
When we finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine.
“I don’t want this night to end,” I whispered.
He smiled softly. “Then we’ll carry it with us.”
We stood in silence, wrapped in each other, as the moon drifted higher and the tide stretched a little closer, as if even the sea didn’t want to let go of the moment.
A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait. I was in and out of the hospital and dealing with many issues, but here it is!
Contains: Slow burn, childhood friends to lovers, historical romance, forbidden love, emotional sex scene, class divide, shogun x courtesan, hurt/comfort, virgin female lead, virgin male lead, sensual intimacy.
Pings: @lattefromneptune @pirana10 @multisstuff
Description: In a snow-kissed world bound by duty and class, a courtesan and a rising shogun find their way back to each other after years of separation. Once childhood friends, their bond grew into something deeper, something forbidden. As they reunite under the hush of falling snow and candlelight, memories resurface, promises are rekindled, and longing finally gives way to love.
I stand mesmerized, watching the snowflakes drift down from the leaden sky, their delicate forms swirling gracefully through the crisp air before settling softly on the ground. How long has it been since I last laid eyes on him? My Caleb. A wave of nostalgia washes over me, thick with unspoken words and unfulfilled promises. A cycle of seasons has come and gone, each one a silent witness to my longing. How many times have I marveled at the snow’s gentle descent, only to see it yield to the warmth of spring, giving way to vibrant blossoms and the jubilant dance of summer leaves, before finally surrendering to the quiet embrace of autumn? Each fall encapsulates the passage of time, yet my heart remains ensnared in the endless winter of his absence.
We were just children when our paths first crossed. The summer sun hung high in an azure sky, bathing the world in a warm, golden glow. I found refuge beneath a sprawling cherry tree, its branches heavy with vibrant blossoms. I wore a faded and slightly frayed kimono, the fabric soft against my skin, adorned with motifs that told a story of simpler times. Delicate pink petals descended like whispers, carpeting the ground in a soft, fragrant layer.
It was in that serene moment that a boy, a few years older, ventured toward me. His clothes, much like mine, bore the signs of wear, with patches adding character to his appearance. His tousled brown hair stirred playfully in the gentle breeze, and his striking purple eyes caught the sunlight, shimmering like the veil between worlds on a winter's night. They sparkled with youthful curiosity, reflecting the dappled light that danced through the cherry tree's leaves, creating a breathtaking mosaic of color and warmth around us.
“Hey there! I’m Caleb!” he exclaimed, his voice bubbling with enthusiasm. His face lit up with a wide grin. He reached out his hand toward me, the warmth of his cheerful spirit radiating through the gesture. “What’s your name?”
I gazed at him, taken aback, my heart racing with curiosity. Gathering my thoughts, I finally broke the silence, my voice steady yet soft. “My name is (Y/n),” I announced, the words hanging in the air like a beacon of connection in the midst of uncertainty.
"That's a stunnin name!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with genuine enthusiasm as a warm smile illuminated his face, casting a soft glow over his youthful cheeks that flushed a delicate shade of pink. I returned his smile, and that was only the beginning of an enchanting tale unfolding between us. While my time was filled with lessons, learning the art of song, the grace of dance, and the intricate responsibilities of a future courtesan, we found joy in meeting every day to indulge in playful adventures.
We frolicked in the shimmering waters that danced like diamonds under the sun, climbed sturdy trees that felt like our own inviting castles, and raced through fields awash in a kaleidoscope of vibrant flowers. We rolled in the lush, emerald grass, our laughter mingling with the gentle whispers of the wind, and lay beneath the vast, blue sky, pointing out the fluffy clouds and their whimsical shapes. Each day was a canvas painted with new escapades and boundless joy, and together we created an art gallery of memories that spanned the years.
Each day dragged me closer to the looming shadow of my 18th birthday, the fateful day when I would be bartered to a renowned brothel, a transaction made in desperate exchange for the meager coins my family so desperately needed. This practice, though not uncommon for someone of my standing, felt like a heavy, cold weight resting upon my chest. It was a reality that enveloped many families like a persistent fog, one they navigated with a blend of resignation and hope.
In a world where financial survival often dictated heart-wrenching choices, many families chose to sell their daughters, seeking the promise of stability and a chance at a better life. We were often told that such a transaction could open doors to education and the distant flicker of a brighter future, should one of us catch the eye of a wealthy patron willing to invest in our potential. Yet, as I stared into the uncertain horizon, the idea of taking on customers filled me with dread. My dreams lay not in surrendering to fate but in embracing a different role, a gracious hostess whose charm and wit could shine beyond mere transactions, offering warmth and a sense of belonging in a world that often felt cold and transactional. I desire to remain pure. This approach would enhance my value, and with my skills, I could secure a better future, but in my heart, I have made a definitive choice: Caleb is the only man I want to share my life with. His presence brings me joy and comfort that I cannot imagine finding in anyone else. No other relationship or connection holds the same significance for me as the one I have with him.
Amidst the backdrop of a world steeped in uncertainty, Caleb poured every ounce of his determination into his military service, tirelessly striving for a higher rank. His ambition was more than a personal goal; it was a desperate attempt to rescue me from the dark fate that loomed ahead. It was beneath the sprawling branches of that ancient cherry tree, its delicate blossoms whispering tales of hope, where we shared our solemn promise, an unwavering bond forged in the shadows of adversity.
“I promise to visit you whenever I can,” Caleb declared, his eyes sparkling with determination. “I’ll find us the most beautiful home, complete with a breathtakin garden where vibrant flowers bloom in a symphony of colors. And one day, we’ll be standin together in front of our loved ones and say ‘I do.’” He extended his pinky finger towards me, a playful yet earnest gesture binding his words with an unspoken promise.
“I wouldn’t desire anything else,” I reply, my voice a gentle whisper, as warmth spreads through my chest. “You’re the only boy who holds my gaze, the only one who ignites a spark within me. My heart, with all its passion and devotion, belongs entirely to you for as long as it continues to beat.” A soft smile graces my lips, and with a tender gesture, I intertwine my pinky with his, sealing our unspoken promise in that delicate embrace.
Beneath the sprawling branches of that old cherry tree, where our childhood adventures began, we now stood, hearts racing as our fingers tentatively intertwined. The air around us buzzed with electricity, and as we leaned closer, the world faded away; it was just the two of us. Our eyes met, filled with a longing that seemed to dance like fireflies in the twilight.
When his chapped lips brushed against my own, it felt like a gentle spark igniting a deep flame. One kiss melted into two, then three, each a soft exploration filled with unspoken promises. As our lips moved together, the memories of carefree summers and whispered secrets rushed through my mind, each moment a treasure I held dear. I could feel the rhythm of my heartbeat echoing the truth: my heart was his, and in that sacred connection, I knew his echoed back to me.
Years had slipped by since those early days, marking our transformation from carefree teenagers to complex young adults navigating the world. Caleb had once been a frequent visitor in my life, especially during the initial months of my journey as a courtesan. His presence was a comfort, a reminder of simpler times. However, as my reputation grew and my worth increased due to my blend of intelligence and striking beauty, his visits became increasingly infrequent. The absence of his vibrant, cosmic purple eyes and the tousled mess of his brown hair weighed heavily on my heart. Each day felt like an eternity, and the longing for him settled deep within me, a persistent ache I couldn’t shake. It had been months since our last encounter, and with each passing moment, I clung to the hope that when I was summoned, it would be him, the one person I truly desired to see. Yet, fate dealt a cruel hand, and instead of Caleb, I found myself face to face with another man, someone I had no interest in and wished to avoid. The disappointment was palpable, a stark reminder of what I had lost.
Once again, I find myself summoned. I brace for what may come, aware of the possibility of disappointment lurking in the shadows. However, the moment I lock eyes with him, those enchanting, violet eyes that have haunted my dreams, I feel a wave of joy wash over me. A wide smile instantly blooms on my face, reflecting the longing I have felt for this man. As we are guided through the opulent hallways, adorned with intricate artworks and glimmering lanterns, my heart races with anticipation. We step into a softly lit room, the air fragrant with the scent of jasmine and sandalwood. A lower-ranking courtesan stands at the door, her demeanor respectful yet slightly nervous. With a nod, she grants me the privacy I requested, closing the door gently behind her. In this intimate space, it's just the two of us, surrounded by the plush furnishings and delicate decor that have always felt like a backdrop to our connection. The world outside fades away, and for a brief moment, I allow myself to savor the exhilaration of being in his presence again.
"Caleb," I whisper, my voice trembling with joy as tears stream down my cheeks. The warmth of my emotions contrasts sharply with the bittersweet ache that tugs at my heart whenever I think of him. I can almost feel the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air, reminding me of everything we've shared and lost.
“Y/n, I’m truly sorry it took me so long to visit,” he says, his voice filled with sincerity. “I’ve been puttin' in lots of work and training, strivin' to climb the ranks at so that I can earn enough to visit you more often, and hopefully, one day, buy out your contract.” He speaks with a solemn expression, but soon a warm smile spreads across his face, illuminating his features. In the soft glow of the moonlight, each contour of his face becomes even more striking, from the strong line of his jaw to the gentle curve of his lips. As we settle into a conversation, catching up on the little things we’ve missed, he reaches for my hand. His left hand is warm, calloused from hard work, and he gently places it over mine, sending a rush of warmth through me. My gaze flickers up to meet his eyes, which shimmer with unspoken emotions, as his right hand glides to my face. I lean into his touch, relishing the feeling of his skin against mine, and I nuzzle into his palm, feeling a sense of longing swell within me. My heart yearns for his presence, and in this moment, I can sense that his heart longs for mine as well. Here we are, two lovers separated by circumstances, yet their connection remains as strong as ever.
"I can finally buy out your contract now that I've been promoted to shogun," Caleb uttered excitedly, his voice low and intimate as his forehead pressed gently against mine. The warmth of his skin against mine sent a shiver down my spine, and I could feel the steady rhythm of our breaths mingling in the close space between us. His eyes searched mine, a mixture of hope. He is the only man who ignites a fire within me, the one whom my heart has chosen without hesitation. My thoughts linger on our shared laughter, the glimmer in his eyes when he smiles, and the quiet moments that feel so just right. He’s the only one I can imagine building a life with, a future filled with dreams and warmth. My heart races not just from fear, but also from the thrilling possibility of finally being with him.
"Please, I want to be with you forever," I whisper, feeling my heart race as I close my eyes and lean in to gently meet his lips. His kiss is tender yet filled with an undeniable hunger, igniting a spark within me. We linger in this embrace, wrapped in our own world, savoring the sweetness of the moment. After a few blissful minutes, he suddenly pulls away, and I can see a glint of excitement in his eyes. With a deliberate motion, he reaches into the pocket of his kimono. My curiosity heightens as he fumbles for something, and then he reveals a stunning ring. The band glimmers under the soft light, adorned with intricate details and a radiant stone that catches my breath. As I gaze at the ring in awe, my eyes widen, and I feel an overwhelming rush of emotions wash over me at this unexpected turn of events.
"Y/N L/N, I know this may come as a surprise, and I apologize for the abruptness of my proposal, but I can't hold back my feelin's any longer. I would be honored to ask for your hand in marriage. From the moment we first met, you brought a light into my life that shatters the darkness I didn’t even realize was there. Your laughter fills my heart with joy, and your kindness inspires me to be a better person every day. I can't imagine sharin' my future with anyone else but you. Together, I envision buildin' a life filled with love, adventures, and countless beautiful moments. You are my confidante, my partner, and my greatest love. I want to create a lifetime of memories with you by my side. Please say yes, and let’s embark on this incredible journey together."
The ring nestles against the fragile bones of my finger, its cool metal a whisper of promise glinting in the light. For a fleeting moment, the world fades away, leaving only the radiant sparkle of the ring and the rhythmic thrum of Caleb’s heartbeat echoing beneath my palm. He gently cradles my face in his rough, calloused hand, the warmth of his touch contrasting beautifully with the chill of the ring, creating an intimate cocoon just for us.
“Pipsqueak,” he murmurs, his voice husky with the weight of relief, “tell me this is real.” In reply, I press my lips against his. The kiss begins gently, a soft caress that sends a flutter of anticipation through me, accompanied by a tentative sigh. As the moment unfolds, it deepens, transforming into a fervent communion, both hungry and reverent. His scent envelops me, an intoxicating blend of crisp, snow-kissed night air, apples, and the sharpness of clean steel, filling my lungs and making my head spin with blissful lightheadedness.
When we break apart, he presses his forehead to mine.
“I’ve paid a retainer,” he whispers. “First light, I’ll settle the rest and walk you outta here free. But tonight…” His thumb strokes the line of my jaw. “Tonight I just wanna see you, hold you, no masks, no titles.”
A warm blush crests beneath my skin, infusing my cheeks with a delicate hue. I give a hesitant nod, my heart racing. "Stay," I whisper softly, the words barely escaping my lips, filled with a mixture of hope and vulnerability.
He carefully slides the shoji door’s bolt, the soft click echoing in the tranquil room. The warm glow of the lantern casts flickering shadows, deepening the hue of his violet eyes until they appear almost obsidian, filled with a burning intensity. Despite the electric tension in the air, he moves gracefully, each deliberate gesture steeped in agonizing patience, as if any hint of haste might fracture the exquisite fragility of the moment.
I carefully unfasten my obi before removing my kimono, watching as the luxurious silk slips from my waist and cascades to the floor, pooling around my feet like melted moonlight glimmering in the dark. I watch coyly as Caleb's gaze travels down momentarily, filled with a mixture of curiosity, intrigue, and admiration, before returning to my face, silently seeking my consent. With a hint of hesitation, I raise my trembling fingers to the intricate ties of his haori before helping to remove his kimono. As I pull apart the fabric, it parts gracefully, unveiling the sculpted contours of a seasoned swordsman’s body, marked by a constellation of pale scars, each one a story, a testament to the many battles he has fought and the oath he has sworn to uphold.
He pulls me tighter, the firm pressure of his hands never faltering, anchoring me as his mouth trails a path down my neck, slow, reverent. Each kiss leaves a scorch on my skin, and when his tongue brushes just beneath my jaw, a soft gasp escapes me. I feel his smile against my throat.
“You're so soft,” he murmurs, voice husky and rough around the edges. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of this. Of you.”
His hands begin to explore with a deliberate slowness, as if he’s traversing sacred ground for the first time. His fingertips glide up my sides, tracing the contours of my body, while the crisp air of the room brushes against my exposed skin. The coolness is swiftly enveloped by the inviting heat radiating from his body, pressing warmly against me, creating an intoxicating mixture of sensations that ignites a spark between us.
When our lips meet again, the kiss deepens, messier this time, unrestrained. He walks me backward until the backs of my knees meet the edge of the futon. I sink into the cushions, breathing unevenly, and he follows, his body covering mine like a promise.
His weight feels like safety, familiar and solid, as his mouth moves lower, worshipping every inch he uncovers. My chest arches into his touch when his lips find my breast, soft and wet and slow, and his tongue circles with aching precision. My fingers weave through his hair, anchoring myself to the only thing that feels real in this moment.
He takes his time, exploring, tasting, murmuring my name like a prayer between each breath. When his hand drifts between my thighs, I open for him instinctively, a silent surrender. His fingers stroke with agonizing care, coaxing pleasure from me until my hips lift of their own accord.
“God, you’re perfect,” he whispers, watching my face with awe and hunger. “I want to feel you, all of you.”
I nod, unable to speak, my chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. Caleb’s hand trembles slightly as he hovers above me, eyes searching mine as though silently asking if I’m sure. I answer by pulling him closer, brushing my lips against his, hoping it will quiet the storm of nerves fluttering in my chest.
When I reach down to guide him, the first brush of his length makes me tense, my breath catching. We both still, his jaw tightens, and I know he feels it too: the weight of everything this moment means. Slowly, carefully, he begins to ease into me.
At first, it's just pressure, a stretch that steals the breath from my lungs, but then the sting sharpens, unmistakable. I flinch, and he freezes instantly.
“Y/N?” he whispers, voice hoarse, worried. “Did I hurt you?”
I blink rapidly, a tear slipping free. “A little,” I admit, voice small. “It… it just stings.”
His hand comes up to cradle my cheek, thumb brushing away the tear before it can fall to the pillow. “We can stop,” he murmurs, eyes soft with concern. “We don’t have to do this. I just want you.”
“No,” I shake my head gently, wrapping my arms around him. “Please don’t stop. Just… go slow.”
He leans in, kissing me tenderly, and nods. “Alright. Slow.”
He moves again, more cautiously now, his hands steadying me as he presses forward in increments. The pain doesn’t vanish, but it lessens with his patience. He kisses me through it, my brow, my cheeks, the corners of my mouth, his touch a salve against the discomfort. Every inch of him that joins with me feels like a promise kept.
When he's finally fully inside me, we pause together, foreheads pressed close, our breath mingling in the quiet. The sting fades to a dull ache, and underneath it, something warmer stirs, something deeper.
“I’m here,” he whispers. “I’ve got you.”
When he begins to move, it’s slow and shallow, more of a gentle rocking than anything else. I clutch at his shoulders, adjusting gradually to the feeling of him within me. His body trembles above mine, holding back, waiting for me.
The pain doesn’t disappear entirely, but as the minutes stretch on, it begins to dissolve into something else. Something softer. Fuller. Our bodies fumble a rhythm, but our hearts move in perfect time. He holds me like I’m precious, like I’m breakable but worth the care. His lips return to mine again and again, murmuring my name like a prayer.
And as the ache becomes warmth, and the warmth becomes longing, I feel my body begin to open to him, not just in flesh, but in every part of me that’s ever loved him in silence.
When I pull him down into the crook of my neck, his breath hitches. His arms wind tightly around me, and for a long moment, he stills, just holding me.
“This…” he whispers, voice thick with emotion. “This is what I’ve waited for.”
I nod, tears in my eyes, and press a kiss to his temple. In his arms, I feel safe. Loved. Cherished.
This may not have been perfect, but it was real and ours.
He shifts slightly, and I feel the way his breath catches against my skin, as if even now, even here, he's still in awe that we’re joined like this. His hand moves gently along my side, trailing from my waist to the curve of my hip in a silent act of devotion. He’s memorizing me, not with his eyes, but with his touch.
We move together, slow and unsure, like dancers still learning the steps. Each roll of his hips is deliberate, coaxing rather than claiming, his restraint rooted in love, not fear. He watches me closely, checking, always checking, until I give him the smallest nod, a shaky breath, a whispered “I’m okay.”
And with that, something inside both of us shifts.
He deepens the angle just slightly, and I feel it, that flicker of something more. I gasp softly, fingers digging into his shoulder, and he groans low in his throat, like the sound was ripped from somewhere deep. His lips find mine again, this time more desperate, more raw.
“I love you,” he murmurs between kisses, “I love you so much.”
It breaks me a little, the way he says it like it’s an apology and a vow all at once. I respond not with words but with touch, guiding his hand to where our bodies join, letting him feel the way I tremble for him now, not from pain, but from rising need.
We find our rhythm again, closer now, less hesitant. The ache has turned to fullness, and the fullness into fire. Each slow thrust carries the weight of all the years we lost, every goodbye we never wanted to say. My name on his lips is a confession, a worship, a promise made in the dark.
And when it comes, my release, it’s quiet, blooming through me like petals unfolding in the dark. My breath shudders, my body tightens around him, and I bury my face in the crook of his neck as I come undone.
He follows not long after, his voice breaking as he gasps my name, as though it’s the only word he’s ever truly meant.
Then all is still.
His weight settles against me, not heavy, but grounding, like a presence that says, I’m here. I’m not leaving. His fingers tangle with mine where they rest against my chest, our heartbeats wild and tangled beneath the sweat-damp skin.
For a long time, we just lie there, wrapped in each other beneath the silk-draped lantern glow and the hush of snowfall outside. He kisses my shoulder. My collarbone. My lips.
“Are you alright?” he asks again, voice soft, nearly drowsy.
I nod against him, letting my fingertips trace the line of his spine. “More than alright.”
A small, disbelieving smile touches his lips. “That’s the only first I ever wanted.”
He brushes his thumb over the ring still on my finger. And in the quiet that follows, there are no more walls between us. No more distance. Just the warmth of his body, the scent of sandalwood and skin, and the steady sound of our breathing, rising and falling together.
For the first time since I was sold off, the winter inside my chest begins to thaw.
I am about halfway done with the Shogun Caleb x Courtesan Reader story. It's taking so long because I've been in and out of the hospital for several months. :') I am back though and working on it again. I am at 2,378 words currently. <3
A piercing static buzz filled the air before Caleb’s voice broke through the chaos, heavy with an anger simmering just beneath the surface. Each word struck like a hammer, sharp and deliberate, revealing the tension that coiled within him, waiting to erupt.
“Where are you?”
He takes a moment to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he steadies himself. The air around him feels thick with tension, and he struggles to maintain a steady tone amidst the chaotic swirl of emotions coursing through him. Beads of sweat trickle down his forehead, and he clenches his fists, determined to project calmness despite the storm brewing inside.
“They took you. I shoulda been faster. I shoulda been there.”
There was a moment of quiet, heavy with anticipation, before the sharp clang of metal echoed through the room. Caleb struck something, sending it crashing against the wall. The impact reverberated, a reminder of the intensity simmering just beneath the surface.
“They don’t understand what they’ve done. They think this is just another mission. Another pawn to move. But you’re not a mission. You’re everything.”
The gentle, almost melodic hum of the aircrafts engine gradually intensifies, filling the air with a low, soothing vibration that resonates through the cramped metal confines. As the control panel lights shimmer to life, casting a warm glow across the cockpit, the vibrant sounds of whirring machinery and the rhythmic beeping of instruments blend together into a harmonious symphony, signaling that the journey is about to begin.
“I’m comin’ for you. I don’t care where they’re hidin’, how many locked doors or traps they’ve built around you. I will tear every one of them down.”
His voice drops in pitch, each word laced with unwavering determination and a steely edge. The intensity of his gaze matches the gravity in his tone, as if he is channeling all his conviction into this moment, reinforcing the promise behind his words.
“And when I find you… nothin’ will ever take you from me again.”
I'm considering writing a story about a Shogun Caleb and a courtesan reader. Caleb and the reader are close childhood friends. Unfortunately, due to financial struggles, the reader's family sells her off to become a courtesan. Over the years, Caleb works hard to obtain a well-paying job with the intention of visiting her and ultimately buying her freedom.
A/N: Inspired by a nightmare I had a few nights ago, I am writing to cope. It was related to my PTSD only with a better outcome.
The night air hung thick with an eerie stillness, wrapping around me like a heavy fog as I meandered through one of the dimly lit parks in SkyHaven. Shadows danced from the flickering lamplights, and my heart pounded with a mix of dread and urgency. I had been exploring alongside Caleb, but now, in the suffocating darkness, we had become separated, his presence swallowed by the night. A wave of anxiety surged through me, each heartbeat echoing louder in the silence as I frantically searched for a flicker of life on my phone. Yet, the screen remained hauntingly blank, its silence only deepening the unease that prickled at my skin.
In the quest for a fleeting escape, I discovered a solitary wooden bench cradled in the embrace of an ancient oak tree, its gnarled limbs sprawling overhead like the protective arms of a guardian. The bench's surface was cool and weathered, each splinter and groove telling a story of countless seasons past. As I sank into its sturdy frame, a wave of weariness cascaded over me, weighing down my eyelids and pulling me into a tranquil stillness. I clung to the flickering hope that Caleb would retrace his steps, his familiar presence breaking through the serene solitude and finding me here beneath the sheltering canopy of leaves.
Time stretched painfully, wrapped in an oppressive silence that thickened the air around me, every lingering second heightening my sense of dread. Then, like a jagged knife slicing through the stillness, the sound of footsteps shattered the quiet, each step purposeful and gravel crunching underfoot. I tensed instinctively, my heart now pounding in a frantic rhythm, as I turned to face the source of the sound.
An older man emerged from the shadows, his frayed jacket hanging loosely on his gaunt frame. A predatory smirk curled on his lips, and his eyes glinted with a sinister hunger that sent a spine-chilling jolt through me. There was something about his gaze—sharp and calculating—that stirred a primal fear within, leaving me acutely aware of my vulnerability.
“Has anyone ever told you that you look absolutely stunning today?” he inquired, his voice oozing with a condescending tone that sent a shiver down my spine. A wave of unease washed over me, and heat crept into my cheeks as I sensed the warning signals in my gut. Choosing silence, I hoped he would lose interest and fade into the shadows. Instead, he edged closer, his footsteps resonating in the heavy stillness of the night, amplifying my dread as the darkness seemed to close in around us.
“Are you single?” he pressed, a smirk twisting his lips in a predatory manner. A wave of panic surged through me, igniting every nerve in my body as I detected the menacing undercurrent in his demeanor. With each step he took closer, an instinctual urge to flee erupted within me, and I shot up from the bench, my heart pounding like a war drum. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, electrifying my muscles and propelling me forward. I knew I wasn’t equipped for a physical confrontation, but the sheer desperation to escape propelled my feet to move faster than I ever thought possible.
No matter how fervently I tried to break away, he closed in with unnerving speed, his presence a dark shadow looming over me. In an instant, I was forcefully slammed to the damp earth, the chill of the ground biting into my skin as I grappled desperately beneath his considerable weight. My heart raced wildly, thudding against my ribs, each beat echoing my mounting terror.
Panic surged through me, constricting my throat like a vice, making each breath a struggle. I pushed against him with every ounce of strength I could muster, but the despair only deepened as I felt the overwhelming weight of hopelessness settle around me. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, clouding my vision, and I let out a desperate wail, “Caleb! Caleb! Please! Help me!” My voice quaked, laced with raw fear and urgency, each cry reverberating through the bedlam surrounding us. The struggle felt endless, my body quaking with a volatile mix of rage and terror. Just when it seemed all hope was lost, a fierce blur suddenly burst into the chaos, breaking through like a bolt of lightning.
With a powerful punch, Caleb struck the man, sending him reeling away from me. The world twisted and blurred around me as confusion flooded my senses. Yet, as clarity gradually seeped back in, I found myself riveted by Caleb’s mesmerizing violet eyes. They shone like rare amethysts, brimming with a fierce determination and a palpable sense of relief that seemed to cut through the chaos surrounding us.
A soothing tide of warmth enveloped me as I instinctively drew him close, my arms encircling him with a desperate intensity, as though his very presence was the lifeline I so desperately needed. With each shallow breath, I fought to suppress the swell of tears that threatened to spill over, my heart aching in the stillness. I managed to whisper his name, "Caleb," my voice trembling and raw—a fractured plea that reverberated through the fragile silence, echoing the tumult within me.
Caleb gently mirrored my actions, his warm hand gliding through my hair with a tenderness that felt both healing and protective. As he traced soothing circles on my back, his touch enveloped me in a cocoon of comfort, a sanctuary against any shadows of doubt that lingered in my mind. With each deliberate stroke, he spoke softly, his voice a steady balm that washed over me like a gentle wave. “You’re okay, Pipsqueak. Nothing will ever hurt you again,” he vowed, sincerity radiating from his eyes like sunlight breaking through clouds. “I’m right here with you,” he added, his tone imbued with deep empathy, resonating in the quiet space between us. “I’m so sorry this happened.” His presence wrapped around me like a warm, protective blanket, anchoring me in this moment and dissolving the heavy weight of my worries, allowing me to breathe freely again.
With each soft word wrapped around me like a warm embrace and every tender gesture, my heart slowly found its rhythm again. A sense of safety enveloped me in the comforting glow of Caleb’s steadfast presence, dispelling the shadows of uncertainty that had lingered. While absorbed in the moment, I was unaware of the sickening sound of cracking bones and strained, gurgling yells in the background as Caleb’s evol gradually crushed the man, ensuring his death was slow and painful.
"I’ll never let you out of my sight again, not after what just happened,” Caleb vowed, his voice laced with a fierce determination. With a swift and graceful motion, he lifted me up, cradling me in his powerful arms as if I were a delicate treasure. The warmth of his embrace wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, igniting a sense of safety that surged through me. As he began to walk towards his home, each step felt steady and sure, grounding me in the moment, as the world around us faded away into the background.
I pressed my eyes shut, desperate to shield myself from the encroaching tide of fear that threatened to engulf me. Instead, I nestled deeper into the gentle curve of his shoulder, inhaling the familiar blend of his natural scent intertwined with the warm notes of his cologne—a soothing elixir of rich cedar and velvety sandalwood that calmed my frantic heartbeat. With every measured step he took, I tightened my grip on him, losing myself in the cocoon of his presence as the chaotic world around us blurred into nothingness. All that mattered was the steady cadence of his heartbeat and the comforting heat radiating from his body, wrapping me in a sanctuary of safety and solace.
