What I've learned being a Dom so far
I started my page to explore and live my kinky Dom side. It went lots of places and I’ve learned a lot, about me, the others and the scene.
This summarizes (yet still a bit long, but I felt it was necessary) all chats I’ve had with boys and other doms before. If u are in a hurry, just read the bold ones.
Having a kink might seem weird or complex, but in the end it’s just liking something people usually don’t. Being different. And that’s ok.
Embrace who you are and be happy with it. Be proud.
And by that, I don’t mean just embracing your submissive side. Or your Dom side. But all you are, all u want for life, whatever that might be.
A cumdump for men around? A muscle boy training to be better every day for your owner? A dom who wants a sub boyfriend? A sub and a Dom at the same time? Go for it.
It’s ok not liking everything. It’s ok being different from what u see around. This should be a place for exploring and trying what u want, not to be judged. You can get that on your everyday world.
Forget labels. They are boring. Be what you wanna be and someone will appreciate u for that.
There’s no right or wrong. And your body shape, dick size or bank account won’t say much about how much of a Dom or a sub u truly are. I’ve seen all types of both and it all depends on what u wanna be. Don’t judge based on the outside. Power, strength and resilience come from within.
Sometimes we get stuck in this fantasy world, seeing models, porn actors and porn scenes or people trying to do like those. And we think we gotta be like that.
But reality is much more complex and not always as glamorous and pretty (or rough and nasty haha) as we see around.
This is a fantasy world. Don’t forget reality out there can and probably will be different.
You don’t have to be marked and out to everyone as a sub, walk around in your lock or cage, to be a good one. Live it in the depth u want to. And that’s fine.
Being real means kink is just a part of your life. And it might be a huge part of yours, but it might not even be in someone else’s. So be careful with using some words outside a safe, known environment.
Rape might mean a rough, as the top wants fuck for u, but it also means pain, suffering and darkness for some other people out there.
Faggot might mean a submissive male here but it also carries prejudice and hate for some.
Words have power, never forget that.
In the end, always be clear about what u want and what they should expect from you. It’s an exchange.
Including power. That’s the base of it all. Doms have what subs give. Control, ownership, use. Otherwise it’s just abuse.
Some are learning still, some need more time or encouragement. Some won’t give u that. All is fine if it’s clear for all the ones involved.
Between you and your partners. Between you and the ones around you. Between us all.
Your kink is not an excuse for being abusive. Or just a fucking cunt. For making anyone feel worthless. For hating anyone. For picking on races, gender roles, sexuality or whatever.
I guess it always comes down to this:
Be honest, healthy and happy. Safe, always. Explore and enjoy.
Honest with yourself and with others. About your needs, expectations and goals.
Healthy about your body and your mind. Some kinks involve dangerous stuff. Be aware if u ever decide to try them.
Safe from bad places, bad practices, bad people. They are all around.
Explore. Cause you might not like all u think you will. Or love what u thought you wouldn’t stand. That’s how we learn about ourselves and the scene.
And if you are not enjoying it, why are u doing it? Having a kink is already hard without people from inside judging and being shitty about it.
You’re not alone. Reach out and find those to help you grow.
If some people won’t or can’t understand it, a lot of them can and will. Find them. Your community, online or where u live. Talk about it.
Don’t be afraid to ask, to learn, to share. That’s how we can find each other. And improve the scene and start helping the ones dealing with toxic, bad examples out there.
It’s never easy. Work hard and give your best.
Be your best to serve the best. I’ve always told my boys that. And be the best to be served by the best. It works both ways.
And always do it for yourself, not just to please others. People come and go, but you’ll be with yourself every fucking day till u die.
Damn, what a long post haha
And just to be clear, that’s just part of MY experience with all of it. Some will disagree. Some will think less of me because of it. I don’t care.
I just want to improve the discussion around and show younger and inexperienced boys (and Doms and other people who are into any kink) that sometimes all u see around is not all there is.
If u agree or want to add anything, reblog, comment, share. It might help a lot of those who are starting their paths and may be lost or confused.
janainaart
stormborns
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
