How I feel about submissive men
How I feel about submissive men:
Lately with the influx of all the 50 shades of Grey experimentalists into the kink community, it appears as if being a submissive male is something some men are ashamed of or feel the need to hide, and frankly it is upsetting to me. I wish I could grab you men and shake some sense into you, and tell you to be proud of being a submissive. It is that submission that makes you attractive. So many submissive men I know hide behind titles as switches, kinksters, etc … and outright tell me it is because of the backlash society gives them for being subs. Even those who are open about their sub nature wrestle with internal conflict over the subject.
Please understand that for many of us Dominant creatures, it is your ability to transcend the societal sex-typed dogma that is what makes you most desirable, and erotic. Our society is full of dominant men and submissive woman, you & I are exceptions, who have been able to transcend the societal gender boundaries.
Speaking as a dominant woman, your submissive nature does not conflict with your masculinity, nor does it make you less of a man. Hopefully, you are smart enough to love and serve those who cherish and respect your submission. Your submission is a gift, one that should empower you in some ways, when compared with other men, who are too arrogant to see the beauty and enlightenment that comes from surrendering to a woman. I get the need to protect egos from unwanted harassment, and there is nothing wrong with having a buffer against attacks to ones self-esteem. (I for one, do not like doormats). However, (and I speak only for myself) being submissive does not make you less manly in my opinion. It makes you compassionate,enlightened and more sophisticated, and demonstrates your own comfort within your self, and your commitment to independent self-determination.
There are many in the scene who will want to make you feel as if you are unworthy, take you and use you and give you nothing in return, and will laugh as you crumble. (Financial dommes in particular are good at this). It is hard not to judge dominants who behave in this manner. The plethora of these individuals scare many submissive men and cause walls of distrust to go up. It also reinforces bad & irresponsible behavior to those just getting started on either side of the D/s spectrum. I think this does a huge disservice to the kink community, and in my 20 years in the scene those who behave in that manner rarely find happiness.
Yes, you can still play those use me/leave me scenarios and have great fun, (I wouldn’t want to give them up)…but if you TRULY feel devalued for your submission, and unworthy of love and attention, then there are some self-esteem issues that need to be addressed.
So be proud of your submissiveness gentlemen, don’t ever be ashamed of loving to serve and please woman, and any woman who
makes your feel ashamed of doing so, in my opinion is not worthy of receiving it. (shame can come from other things, but should never be felt for being submissive). Do you agree with my assessment?
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