It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

[suburbiatch]

For the second time in my life I have paid money for a car. Except this time I went in debt for it.

Now I’m doing silly shit like clay baring it at 10pm

[mazzew]

[suburbiatch]

almost completly moved out of the house with Trevor. Just have to go back and get the rest of my stuff tomorrow. Got this great picture of the goat today before I left

[suburbiatch]

[suburbiatch]

Two of Trevor’s girlfriend’s chickens got out the yard. I’m over here googling how to pick up a chicken. I think my research has taught me that it’s not my problem.

[suburbiatch]

Talked to one of Trevor friends tonight. Turns out all of his friends are not very supportive of his relationship like he thinks. Hoping the Halo 2 lan party turned into an intervention.

[suburbiatch]

I don't know if it's paranoia or an actual thing Trevor is doing, but I think he's watching the camera. They asked me about something that happened when neither of them were home yesterday. Not even the driveway is safe for shit talking anymore.

[suburbiatch]

Betting on how many kids Trevor will wink at tonight.

[suburbiatch]

Dale is scared to leave my room because the Audubon Zoo moved into our house (and none of them even have the courtesy to ask for you). Trevor keeps shutting the door into the laundry room which is where Dale's food, water, and litter box are. Every time I leave my bed room the dogs bark so I feel like I have to be locked in the room after a certain time of the day.

Piss so dark right now because I was afraid to get water last night.

[gohomebarbara]

Trevor lost his damn mind

[suburbiatch]

We used to think that Trever using a 65 inch OLED TV as a computer monitor was him losing his damn mind. Simpler times.

[suburbiatch]

I can't believe I considered Trevor to be my best friend for almost 10 years. Now that I have actual friends who care about me I realize how shit of a friend Trevor is. I don't know if I've ever really talked to Trevor about me. The conversation always switches back to be about him.

A few months ago I was telling Trevor about how proud I was that my nephew was becoming a priest. Trevor decided to take over the conversation and tell me about how he could never become a priest because he "would leave the house any any hour of the night for pussy". Truly an insane reaction to me being a proud uncle. Like can I just finish my story for once? I didn't even get to make my joke about remembering Philippians 4:13.

I've lived with Trevor for 3 years and I can count on one hand the ammount of times we've hung out. And even then it's usually some bullshit where he's telling me about how he found the Titanic submersible.

I just need to make it through the holiday season and I'm moving out and leaving Trevor behind.

[gohomebarbara]

another Trevor intervention is brewing

[gohomebarbara]

Trevor intervention this week!!!!!!! Possibly tomorrow????? (Trevor has lost his fucking mind.)

[suburbiatch]

I have a feeling my living situation is about to get even crazier. Might have to give him round 2 of the intervention when he gets home.

[gohomebarbara]

me to everyone I talk to after seeing the Pharrell Lego movie: No, y’all don’t get it… Pharrell wrote Happy… because he was happy

[suburbiatch]

My Halloween party was tonight and I got so pissed at Trevor that I drafted a text in my notes app where I called him an asshole.

[suburbiatch]

Trevor has been dating a girl for 18 days and is already talking about moving her in with us.

I'm about to go live in the Suburban.

[suburbiatch]

Went to put the Saints on the morning. This is NOT what I meant.

[gohomebarbara]

me: That sign looks like Beetlejuice.

Walker: What?

me: That sign looks like Beetlejuice.

Walker: Where?

me: That sign. See, it’s like Beetlej—

Walker: BE CAREFUL!!