Succ

Succeth Mine Anus, Heathen

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Someone told me that I look at people like I know something they don't and I'm still processing how I should react to that

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People 2.0: everyone has perfect tits. No other changes are made

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Peak writing: when someone in fiction admits something supernatural or absolutely insane to a priest or pastor and the church member has NO idea what they're doing anymore but they still give the best advice they can. Never gets old.

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my hero academia dub spinoff where everything is exactly the same except chris evans is green-screened in as mineta

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Goddamnit Pixar

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Consider the following:

You are a 19th century princess. You're sitting in the center of a massive empty ballroom in your family's castle. At the stage sits your lover, a commoner, who snuck in with a server's outfit to see you. While your family rests, he plays with passion your favorite piano piece which he fitted with lyrics to a beautiful love song. He smiles at you from across the marble floor, and you sit at the only table in the candle-lit hall as a tear runs happily down your cheek. No moment in all of time can compare to this.

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Creepy art idea: you shrunk down Magic School bus style to explore the human body but accidentally went too small and landed in a dead skin cell.

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If you go to Red Lobster and ask for the red lobster a man in a giant lobster costume comes out of the kitchen, sobbing, and serves you one of his own which has been slathered in ketchup(?). He stares at you unblinking until you take a reluctant bite, which kills you instantly.

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my hero academia dub spinoff where everything is exactly the same except chris evans is green-screened in as mineta

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Finger food is such an ominous word to me. Why are we feeding them?

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I think the telltale sign that millennials and gen Z can save the world is that, at very young age, we've established that almost all of us are willing to die for a cause that our parents and grandparents wouldn't even lift a finger for

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I don't CARE what's in your pants.

You're not a TRUE man unless you:

Love your mama

Are oblivious to flirting

Have annoyed at LEAST one woman in your lifetime

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If gender is what's in your pants, my gender is chafing. I should stop wearing jeans as often.

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Gender is stored in the weapons section of the Halloween store

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girl help i'm being slowly engulfed by sentient magma cheese

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Remember kids, the only difference between fucking around and finding out is improper self care.