Pairing: You can't stop calling his phone even though all you get is his voicemail.
"I am... Iron Man." He snaps his fingers and God, it tears you apart. It's the only way to win but it rips your heart in two. Your legs fail you as you fall to the ground, you watch Peter run over to Tony with tears glimmering in his eyes.
"Let me help," Steve says lifting you up and supporting you as you make your way to Tony. You want to tell Steve that you don't want to see this, you don't want to watch that brilliant light go out in his eyes but you also know you're not 5 years old anymore. You can't ignore from the truth and Tony deserves better than that. This is the one time you can't run and hide.
"Peter," Bucky says putting a hand on the kid's shoulder to pull him away. When Peter spots you, he instantly steps aside trying to hold back the tears that will inevitably make their way down his face. It won't change anything though.
"Hi baby," you whisper sitting down next to him. You take his good hand in yours trying your hardest to ignore the sound of his ragged breathing. You know in your bones that's the sound that'll come back to haunt you in the dark.
"It worked?"
"It worked. You saved us," you say kissing his cheek because what else is there to do? Anthony Edward Stark gave his life to save humanity and you can't even fault him for it because it's the most selfless thing he's ever done. But you feel the anger buried deep within your core as you sit next to him knowing you have mere minutes left with the love of your life.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, his hand trying to squeeze yours but he doesn't have enough strength left to even do that.
"You have nothing to apologise for. You did a good thing," you reply looking into those brown eyes for the last time and wishing that you just had more time. They never tell you it's the last kiss, the last touch. No one tells you which is cruel because you would've cherished it so much more if you'd known.
"You can rest now, baby. It's okay." You cup his cheek feeling the tears stream down your face. It's never going to be okay but you can't tell him that. So, you look into his eyes and you smile through the pain because you want the last thing he sees to be something happy.
"You can rest now," you repeat leaning in to kiss him gently. When you pull back, his eyes are open but the light is gone. That beautiful spark has been put out and now there's only the shell of the man you loved. Slowly, one by one the heroes of the universe start kneeling. Everyone without a fail is on one knee paying their respects to a man who's no longer with you. That is what finally breaks you. There's nothing pretty about the sobs that escapes your body - inhumane sounds with tears and snot streaming down your puffy face. You keep begging for this to be all in your head but all your senses keep reminding you that this is true. He is gone and you're left all alone.
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They all check up on you after that day. And you manage to convince them that you're doing okay all things considered. You don't want to burden them with your loss when you've all lost so much already. It's the quietness that rips away the last strand of sanity that you've been holding onto. The eerie silence in a house much too big for one person and the memories hiding in every single room. That night is the first night you call him.
You've reached Tony Stark. I most likely didn't pick up because I'm doing something so unbelievably inappropriate with Y/N that I can't be bothered by your call. Try Happy instead.
The dial tone beeps and you sit in the silence knowing you'll never be able to explain how much you miss him. It's not like he's around to hear it anyway. But you still keep calling his phone - just to hear his voice. A small part of you hate him for leaving you even if he did it for all the right reasons. He had promised you forever, and in a second that promise had shattered.
You've reached Tony Stark. I most likely didn't pick up...
You don't hesitate this time before redialing desperate for this tiny piece of him that feels like the only real connection to him that you have left.
"Hi Tony," you say trying to keep your voice steady.
"I know this is pointless but I just need you to know that I had plans for us. I had it all mapped out. We were meant to retire and grow old and cherish each other." You're not making any sense but when has grief ever made sense? So, you keep talking about everything and nothing feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
You've reached Tony Stark. I most likely didn't pick up...
You leave another message and another message and by midnight, you've left almost 20 messages all accounting for the life you were supposed to have had together. The life he abandoned. You fall asleep that night to the sound of his voice and when morning comes around, the harsh reality kicks back in. Tony isn't away on a business trip, he's not off doing some superhero thing. Tony isn't coming home ever again, and it makes you want to burn down the memories of him. Eventually, you decide a hotel is probably the better option.
You've reached Tony Stark. I most likely didn't pick up...
Two months pass and you still can't stop calling him. But now his inbox must be pretty full, but you try to restrain yourself by only leaving a message every third time. To you that's progress even though you know most people would disagree. But they didn't lose Tony the way you did. They didn't have their entire future ripped to shreds.
You've reached Tony Stark...
"I miss you. And I hate you. Because you left and I don't know how I'll ever be okay with that. I haven't been able to breathe properly since you stopped breathing altogether. Which is sort of ironic if you think about it, because you did this so I could have a life. And now I just feel paralyzed." You're rambling, you know you are. But you have so much to tell him and leaving a voicemail doesn't come close to being back in his arms.
Two months has passed and you're not any closer to feeling better. The memory is still as fresh as the first day. Is there a limit to how long you're allowed to grief? You decide you don't want to know the answer to that. With shaking fingers, you dial his number again.
This number is no longer in service.
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