I'm 19 and I live in a small town. I go to college in the neighboring town. One day, as I was walking to the train station, I saw a man. He looked quite older than me, probably old enough to be my father. Let's call him V. I later learned he was about 54.
I caught up with him and we started talking. I complimented his boots because they were really cool (like a rocker's). We chatted again before my bus. He treated me to a pear and gave me his phone number. At that moment, I didn't think about why I needed him. He said I'd call him if I got bored. A day later, I finally decided to text him and thanked him for the pear. From that moment on, our correspondence began...
He rarely wrote to me, but his messages seemed very strange to me. Sometimes it was like, "I'm doing well, so I'm kissing your hands." He wrote me dirty jokes, like those from German short films. It stunned me and disgusted me. But for some reason, he evoked some kind of attraction. I feel so stupid about it. Just recently, he wrote to me again and said he had an erotic dream about me, and he really wanted it to be real. I was completely shocked by this. Disgust washed over me again. My whole body was shaking wildly. And then he offered to rent an apartment closer to summer, because he was busy with work right now.
Even now, typing all this makes me shudder. Then we corresponded again, but quite normally. Until yesterday, he wrote that he wanted me... He apologized a hundred times for his words, but then he wrote it again and again, calling me an interesting girl. I don’t know how to describe what I felt at that moment. He wrote again about the possibility of renting an apartment. But I’m not a prostitute. Not how I was raised. I’m not like that. By the way, he never once asked about my hobbies or anything like that during our correspondence. He simply wrote to me about his needs, without thinking about my feelings.
I've always been attracted to older men. But I didn't think they were like that. Perhaps it's the childish naivety that still lingers within me. I thought they would be interested in you, learning about your inner world, and not coveting your body. I don't know what to do, but the situation itself haunts me, just like V. I have some kind of perverted feeling inside me. It's very difficult to reject him and simply block him. The girls at school are telling me to block this old pedophile. But I have mixed feelings inside.
But then I think, if I hadn't complimented his shoes, maybe this wouldn't have happened?
