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Scared of being loved

Summary: What’s harder than battling one chronic illness? Two. A reader with coeliac disease and chronic migraines, working as a barista at PTMC, finally gets together with Abbot. He helps navigate health struggles, and when it’s time for the monthly migraine injections (complicated by a needle phobia), he casually reminds you that orgasms can help reduce anxiety.

Word count: 12k

Trigger warning: vomit, injections, mature content, medical inaccuracies, medical settings

Notes: As per two requests I received so I thought I’d combine the two. I hope I represented both illnesses well? there is also some smut in here - i always try my best to keep it separate from the illness. i think i struggled slightly with this one. hope you enjoy!

Not very well proof read sorry! Open ending! I like to imagine that she quit her job on the spot once she couldn’t deal with her shitty boss and Abbot helped her start her own business <3

— — — — — — — — — —

“Good evening Dr Abbot.” You said over your shoulder as you looked over at him. “Same as usual?”

“Good evening gorgeous.” He said with a smile.

“Hey you keep calling me that and then I will start asking what we are.” You joked as you made him his coffee.

“Hmmm.” He looked you up and down then bit his lip. “Has work been alright?”

“The usual. Things slow down around this time.” You walked over to the till and typed in his coffee order. “I can’t wait to get home.” He tapped on the card machine, leaving a generous tip as always.

You blushed and whispered thank you. “Have a seat I’ll bring it over to you.”

You finished Dr Abbot’s coffee, grabbed a bag full of leftover pastries for the night shift staff and brought it over to his table. “This is for everyone.” You handed him the bag. “We have lots left over and management makes us throw them away.”

“You’re too kind, thank you.” He got up and stepped a bit closer. “Get home safe?”

You gave a small smile, meeting his eyes for a moment longer than necessary. “Thank you Dr Abbot, see you tomorrow same time?”

“You bet. And hey, it’s Jack please.”

You blushed. “Don’t think I can do that just yet.”

— — — — — — — — — —

Dr Abbot was walking towards the cafe for his usual coffee before his night shift, right on time. You walked over to the till and made sure that your colleague, Clara, doesn’t serve him.

“Same as usual?” You asked, trying to contain your smile.

“Please?” He said as he walked over. Once was close to you he whispered "Hi gorgeous.”

You couldn’t help but blush and feel flutters at the way he flirted with you. This was a daily occurrence and you found yourself looking forwards to seeing him.

“Would you like anything else?” You asked as you typed his coffee order on the till.

“Uhh… “ Your manager was now behind you and Abbot didn’t want to ask for your number in front of him. “That’s all thank you.” He said, voice rough but sweet as always. You made his coffee and as you handed it over; his hands stayed on yours for a few seconds longer than they should have.

The next day he looked forwards to seeing you but your colleague said you weren’t in. Not only her coffee was terrible, also so was her attitude. He tried to ask why but all she said was you were not well.

Two days passed, and Abbot had to deal with terrible coffee and utter regret for not asking for your number.

— — — — — — — — — — —

Next day came around and you glanced over at the clock — Dr Abbot’s shift was about to start so you started making his coffee order.

“I’m gonna start taking offence.” He said from over the counter.

You jumped slightly, startled out of your thoughts. Looking up, you mumbled, “Sorry?”

“If you’re gonna keep making my coffee right on time…” he continued, a playful edge to his tone, but then he noticed your expression. “It means I get to spend less time with you.”

“Oh sorry. I didn’t want you to be late and—“

“Hey I’m joking. You alright?”

“Yeah sorry long day. I have a headache and just need to get home.” It wasn’t a headache. It was another migraine, and your tablets were not working. They never worked anyways.

“Is that why you were off?”

You gave a small nod and a smile, but your eyes — they looked tired and distant.

“Do you want some pain relief?”

You poured his coffee into the cup and handed it over. “I’ve taken some, thank you.”

He took the coffee cup and waited by the till. For a minute, he wasn’t leaving.

“You alright?” You asked him quietly.

“Sweetheart I need…” he paused “I need to pay.”

“Oh shit sorry!” You immediately blushed and quickly typed his order on the screen. “Sorry — I forgot.”

“You don’t seem well. How are you getting home?”

“I’m used to these headaches I promise it’s fine. I’m gonna take a taxi home I think the bus would be too much.”

“Okay — get home safe yeah? Do you want my number incase you need me?”

“No, no I can’t ask that of you.”

He wrote his number on a napkin and passed it to you. “Anything you need call me.”

“Thank you Dr Abbot.”

Your mind was too foggy for this conversation. You weren’t in pain, but rather felt an intense amount of pressure in your head and you knew there was nothing you could do to relieve this.

You don’t remember getting home. But you remember calling in sick the next day, mumbling to your manage about how terrible you feel about being off sick this many times.

— — — — — — — — — —

You’ve always struggled with migraines but never this severe. You couldn’t understand why you were having such frequent ones. Your sumatriptan was not even touching the pain; you maxed out on pain relief before every shift hoping it would take the edge off. The only thing that truly helped was running cold water on your head or applying ice directly on your face.

Talking to customers certainly did not help and working under the bright ceilings of PTMC made everything worse.

“Another headache?” Clara asked.

You nodded. “Not just a headache, it’s a migraine.”

“Same thing aren’t they?”

You shot her a look — you were too tired to argue back. “Yeah sure. If you say so.”

“I’m just saying, I get them all the time. I had one yesterday.” She added.

Her annoying little voice was making your ‘headache’ worse. “Didn’t you go to the cinema yesterday?”

“Yes we watched this movie and its as so good. It was—“

“You watched a movie, in the cinema… with a migraine?”

She nodded. “Yeah why.”

“I wish I had your type of migraine.” You turned around and occupied yourself with something else.

“You two — there is food in the break room.” Your manager walked over.

“Thank you Denis. Is is gluten free?” You asked.

“No” He said abruptly. “Just have a bit of it it’ll be fine.”

You let out a sigh of defeat.

“Sorry I know you’re on this gluten free diet but a bit won’t hurt you. Will it?”

You let out a defeated chuckle. “It’s coeliac disease Denis… you were right here then the doctor gave me the news a few months ago.” You paused. Not wanting to sound too negative so they don’t get upset. “I am okay for food thank you. It’s very kind of you.”

Was it kind of him? Or was it just rude? He knew about everyone’s dietary requirements but yet somehow yours did not matter. He accommodated everyone but you. At least it got everyone else out of your way as they all rushed over to the food. You had the whole cafe to yourself. A minute of a much appreciated silence.

Dr Abbot’s voice jolted you back to reality.

“Hello” he said softly.

“Oh hi Dr Abbot — shoot I’ve not made your coffee yet.” You looked at the time. “Wait you’re early.”

“I am yes… I thought I’d bring you this before my shift.” He had a bag in his hand; Mexican food from your favourite restaurant.

“W— for me?” Your jaw dropped. “That’s incredibly kind I don’t know what to say.”

You walked behind the counter over to him and opened the bag — there was chips and salsa and a burrito. “That’s so thoughtful.” You dropped your shoulders down. It probably wasn’t gluten free and you wouldn’t be able to eat it but he didn’t need to know that. The gesture was more than enough.

“And before you panic — it is gluten free.”

“w—what?” You frowned — you thought you heard him wrong.

“You…okay?”

“Sorry I thought I heard you say it’s gluten free.”

“It is…” he raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. “Sorry I thought you were—“

He couldn’t finish his sentence because you threw your arms over him. “Thank you, thank you!”

He embraced your hug and pulled you in closer. “Anytime sweetheart.”

You pulled back and adjusted your apron. “Sorry I don’t usually hug all my customers. Just the special ones.”

“I’m honoured to be one of the special ones.” He said, giving you a smooth wink.

Your eyes were filled with happy tears. “Wait how did you know?”

“I uhh..” He let out a nervous chuckle. “I’ve seen you put on gloves before handling pastries. But you didn’t do that with the gluten free pastries over there. So I figured.”

You were lost for words. He’d been watching, paying attention too.

“I don’t know what to say.” You stared at the ground. His kindness was overwhelming.

“How long ago were you diagnosed?”

“Uhh few months ago actually.”

“Are you managing to eat? Control your symptoms?”

“Eating is a bit more tricky. I still am getting flare up pretty much regularly.”

“And the headaches?” He gently said.

He remembered. “More and more recurrent.”

“Are they headaches or… something else?” Abbot didn’t want to step over the line but he didn’t believe you either.

“Just headaches.” You lied. You didn’t want to mention migraines too.

“Keep a headache diary along with a food diary. Keep a count of how many, and when. Then come see me one day, I’ll see if I can help.”

“You’re too generous I can’t do that.” You smiled softly. You saw Denis walk back over to you and you quickly rushed behind the counter.

He whispered “yes you can.”

You blushed and quickly made him his drink.

You cleaned up the cafe later that night and there were so many pastries left. Abbot hadn’t left your mind so you wrapped up the pastries and made your way down, coffee in hand.

You walked in to a chaotic environment — you looked around and couldn’t see him.

“Can I help you?” A nurse asked.

“I’m looking for Dr Abbot, please?”

“Is it urgent or can it wait?”

“Oh no, not urgent. I just wanted to see… to give him something.”

“Let me see if he’s free.”

She walked over to one of the rooms then gestured for you to come in.

You walked in and there were two other doctors in the room but no patient. Abbot clocked your eyes immediately and he couldn’t help but smile. But then he quickly frowned and said “are you okay what happened?”

You glanced over at the other doctors, now all watching the exchange, and a wave of shyness hit you.“Wh—what? Oh no, I’m fine. I’m okay.”

You walked into the room and gave him his coffee. “I thought I’d bring this before I leave.” You grabbed the bag. “Also left over pastries.”

“Oh it’s the pastry fairy!” The other doctor said.

You glanced between her and Abbot, not knowing what she’d meant.

“You’re the one who keeps sending Abbot with the goods.”

You nodded, feeling heat creep up your neck.

Abbot noticed your shyness so he quickly said “Right you two, out.”

“I thought I’d repay the kindness.” You said quietly. “The food was incredible. It’s from one my favourite places.”

“I know, you told me.” He stepped closer to you. “And thank you for the coffee. Just what I needed.”

You couldn’t help but chew on your inner cheek and blush. Your eyes jumped from his to wall behind him — too shy to look directly at him.

You fancied him for a long time — he was certainly your favourite customer. He was always too kind, flirty, tips extremely well. Not only did you look forwards to seeing him everyday, but also thought about him day and night.

He brushed your hair our of your face — a movement so subtle but you instinctively took a step closer.

“Do they really call me the pastry fairy?” You whispered.

He nodded and stepped closer, his fingers resting on your cheek. You let out a nervous chuckle. “I told them about you. Which was a mistake because they expect pastries everyday now.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “You talk about me?”

“Of course I do.” He whispered.

Abbot heard the trauma call and let out a sigh. He whispered “I’ve gotta go.”

“I understand.” You matched his whisper with one.

You stepped away from him but he put his hand on your face and gently pulled you back in, giving you a peck on your temples. “Get home safe sweetheart.”

“Have a good night Dr Abbot.” You said before quickly rushing out of the room.

The feeling of butterflies in your stomach was impossible to ignore.

— — — — — — — — — —

Over the next few weeks, you and Dr Abbot exchanged not only glances and quick touches, but also small meaningful presents.

He started bringing in gluten free snacks for you, and you started baking gluten free pastries at home to bring in for him and his colleagues. You’ve always loved baking but after you were diagnosed with coeliac disease, you found it not only difficult to get the ingredients but also extremely expensive.

You started receiving feedback from the ER, all through Abbot. He told you how much they loved your baking.

But the problem was, even your gluten free pastries made you violently sick. You didn’t understand what the cause was. You did everything right. Migraines seemed to also increase in intensity, along with the sickness. You thought it was incredibly ironic what you were going through. Starvation was not an option.

You kept a food and headache diary just like Abbot asked. You noticed that when you bought gluten free foods from restaurants, your coeliac disease didn’t flare up and neither did your migraines.

You couldn’t figure out what you were doing wrong.

You spoken with a primary physician whom suggested you start migraine injections. That was a big, huge, terrifying no. First of all, the cost was astronomical. Second of all, you had to attend the clinic for the injection which meant losing out on working hours. Third, you absolutely hated injections or anything to do with needles.

He prescribed you another migraine tablet and sent you on your way.

— — — — — — — — — —

You made yourself breakfast and headed over to work. You’d been feeling ill since starting these new medications and couldn’t call in sick because Denis said that Clara said that migraines are just headaches and she manages just fine. You held in your nausea all the way into work. The smell of the bus made your stomach turn, and the pressure in your head was making you brain foggy.

You were sick in the hospital toilet — managed to get breakfast out just before you shift. You made it over to work on time, and dived right in. The day was a blur — a haze. Sounds were muffed, like you were under water. Your eyes couldn’t adjust to anything and you kept dropping things. It was a bad day to be at work.

You took your break and spent it in the bathroom cubicle with wet towels on your head trying to bring the heat in your face down. Your vomiting also had not stopped. You dragged yourself back to the cafe and hoped and prayed you’d get to go home in one piece.

“Someone came looking for you.” Clara’s annoying voice interrupted your silence.

“For me? You sure?”

She shrugged. “Some doctor. He said he’ll come back later.”

You looked at the time and it wasn’t Abbot’s time to start his shift — you wonder who it was?

“Look at you getting frisky with our doctors.” She nudged you.

You rolled your eyes and went back to serving customers. You noticed that the light over the cafe kept flickering, which did not help.

“Hey Denis do you think we can do anything about the light?”

“What light?”

You looked up at the ceiling despite your eyes burning and protesting. “The flickering.”

“There is…no flickering.” He shrugged.

You went off to the bathroom and the flickering followed. You closed your eyes and buried your face between your legs but the flashing light was still there. No, no, no. You cried. Please no, not now. You put your hands over your temples and rubbed it quickly hoping it would ease off the pain. You vomited again, eyes closed, not wanting to risk opening them just yet.

— — — — — — — — — —

“Hey doc, you’re back. What can I get ya?”

Dr Abbot frowned at the barista — she was chewing gum with her mouth open. He tried not to sigh.

“Where’s your colleague?”

“Who?” She blew a bubble.

He put his hands out as if to say the fuck?

“Oh silly billy. She’s in the bathroom.”

“Silly billy?” He raised an eyebrow.

“She’s been a pain in the ass today. Dropping things and breaking mugs. Denis is not happy.” She chewed even louder.

“How long has she been gone for?”

She shrugged. “Like 20 minutes?”

Abbot walked off in a huff and found the nearest female bathroom. He quietly opened the door, making sure no one else was in there. “Hun you in here?”

His voice woke you up. “Huh?” You looked around, confused. You were still in the toilet, the flickering light was no longer there but the nausea and pain were.

“It’s Jack.”

“What?” You thought to yourself what the hell was Abbot doing in here?

“Can you unlock the cubicle please?” He asked.

You saw his shoes through the gap and then managed to pull yourself up and unlock it, trying your best to stand up.

“Hey hun what happened?” He quickly put his hands around you and pulled you out. He sat you on the floor by the sink.

You shook your head. You mumbled something that he didn’t understand.

“Sweetheart you raise your hands up please?”

Despite your joints protesting you did.

“Can you say cinnamon sticks for me?” He held your face in his hands. You could see the panic in his eyes.

You shook your head and mumbled gibberish again.

“Can you smile?”

You let out a dry heave.

He quickly called the ER department “Lena — I’m in the women’s bathroom first floor by the cafe. Can you bring up a wheelchair please stat. Need help.”

“I’m okay.” You managed to say. “It’s just a migraine.”

“Its not just a migraine. You need to get checked out. I need you to try and stay awake for me — can you do that?”

You nodded, letting out another dry heave.

Abbot splashed your face with water and could see immediate relief in your face. He cupped his hands and splashed more water, your shoulder instantly relaxing. You sighed in relief.

People quickly filled up the bathroom and they helped you into a wheelchair. The quick movement of the wheelchair made your stomach turn. The flashing light was now back — you put your hands over your eyes but that didn’t help. All you saw was darkness and the flickering light in the corner of your eye.

You were moved onto a bed — the lights were incredibly bright on your eyes. You let out a cry as they tried to open your eyes to examine your pupils. You heard someone say stroke — someone else said your name. Their voices were muffled, sounding like they were under water again. You kept dozing off and you felt someone try and wake you up every time. You weren’t too sure how long had passed, but all you felt was pocking, and machines coming in and out. At one point you were wheeled to a different machine. You were finally back in the room, lights were off, and everything was quiet.

You turned over to your side and hugged your legs up to your chest. Your chronic illness betrayed you once again. What was next? You thought. You didn’t want to cry, no. You were past that point.

You heard gentle footsteps and looked over to find Dr Abbot.

“You gave me a scare sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry”

He walked over to you and sat on the edge of the bed. “Migraines are not just headaches hun. Why didn’t you call me?”

“It’s just easier to say that instead of hearing people’s unsolicited advice.” You tried to fight tears.

“All your checks were clear and we gave you an injection in your sleep that hopefully should make you feel better?”

“I feel loads better.” And you truly did. You were not 100% yourself but the pressure in your head was now gone, and the nausea stopped. “This was the worst one yet.”

“I saw on your notes you kept a headache and food diary.”

You nodded.

“And the doctor simply didn’t investigate it?”

You shook your head. Although the movement was gentle you felt pins in your head so you tried to stay still. “They want me on the injection.”

“They should help, they’re miracle drugs.”

“I can’t do it. I hate injections and it’s—“

“Too expensive. I know.” He said softly. He shifted towards you slightly and held your hand.

You moved off the bed slightly and made space for him.

He laid there opposite you, brushing a hand through your hair and wiping your tears.

“I can help.” He whispered.

“Absolutely not.” You quickly said. “How? And don’t say you will pay.”

“I can pay for it.”

“Dr Abbot there is no way in hell I will let you do that. You don’t know me.”

“It’s Jack. Please call me Jack.” He rested his hands on your neck. “So tell me — how can I help you?”

You shook your head, frustration flickering through the exhaustion. “You can’t help me. Nobody can. Until I figure out what is going on and why I keep getting migraines I— I don’t know what to do.”

“Talk me through what happened. Starting from when you got diagnosed.”

“I had the test results come through — said it’s coeliac disease. I’ve always been prone to headaches which then progressed to migraines. I switched to a gluten free diet which helped slightly with my symptoms but somehow the migraines got worse.”

“Wait hold up. You switched to gluten free — was it just the food?”

“Yeah?” You frowned, confused at his question.

“What about everything else at home?”

“Sorry you’re confusing me.”

“Did you switch out appliances? Cutlery?”

“No… but I wash everything?”

“Did they seriously not explain any of this?”

You were clearly confused, so you sat up and turned to face him. He was lying back on the bed, one hand tucked behind his head, completely at ease. You couldn’t help but notice how good he looked — and the size of his biceps didn’t exactly help, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. You quickly shook your head, trying to focus.

“Hun — when you are gluten free, everything else at home has to be swapped too. You need a new toaster, the oven needs a deep clean. Take a peanut butter jar for example — if you’ve dipped in your knife in there once after touching gluten, the jar is contaminated.”

“You’re joking right?”

He shook his head.

You felt your heart drop. “I’ve been poisoning myself these last few months?”

“Hey it’s okay you didn’t know. The doctor should have explained that to you.”

“How can I be so stupid!”

“You’re not stupid. It happens more than you think. The doctors usually say to go gluten free but they don’t advise more than that. You’re not to blame!”

You didn’t believe this — how stupid you were for not thinking about it. You’d been poisoning yourself and open top of that, you now have to buy new appliances working on a minimum job with a boss that gives zero fucks. Fuck.

Abbot could read your face very well and realised how stressed you were. “I can help.”

You shook your head. “I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I am a barista — I make you coffee and bake you pastries. That’s it.”

“It’s more than that.” He shifted up and pulled you towards him. “I like you — a lot actually. You’re beautiful, and smart, and you work hard. You bake me some amazing pastries.” He paused, voice getting quieter as he continued “I know that your favourite food is Mexican — I know that you prefer dogs more than cats. You hate injections. And most importantly… you’re drop dead gorgeous. I see you everyday for the last what 5 months? I know you.”

“You like me” you whispered, trying not to break into a big, revealing smile.

“It thought it was obvious.”

You shrugged playfully. “It could have been a bit more obvious?”

“Is this obvious enough?” He pulled you into him, letting you crash on top of him. His lips found yours and his hands rested on your thighs.

You pulled back and whispered “Yes I think this settles it” before kissing him again.

“I’ve waited to have you in my arms… for so long.” He pushed you hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry you’re here — we should be somewhere else, celebrating this moment.” He said softly.

Abbot’s phone rang which interrupted the both of you. He groaned as he looked at the name. “They need me out there.”

You nodded. “Hey what time is it?”

“Just after 7am.”

“What!” You quickly jumped out of bed. “Its seven in the morning?”

The sudden movement brought in the pins and needles in your head again. “Fuck. I start work in 2 hours!”

“You’re not going to work.” He moved off the bed. “You’re going home to rest and sleep.”

You shook your head. “He will literally fire my ass. I’ve taken too many sick days.”

“What’s his name?”

“Denis.”

“Would he be at work now?”

You nodded.

“Go back to bed and rest. I will try and finish here in an hour and I’ll take you home. Let’s not worry about Denis now.” He walked over to you. “And no buts.” He kissed your forehead before walking out.

You changed back into your clothes and caught up on your messages. No one from work had texted asking how you were feeling. You felt incredibly anxious, waiting for an angry text from Denis questioning why you weren’t in again. You couldn’t afford losing out on another sick day. Your mind was spiralling as Jack walked back into the room.

“You’re anxious — I can see it all over your face.”

You nodded.

“Do you want the good news?”

“Is it followed by bad news?”

He shook his head, a big grin spreading across his face “I spoke with Denis and—“

“You did what!”

“Let me… finish.” He said in a rather bossy tone that turned you on. You wondered if his colleagues felt the same way when he used the same tone. “I spoke with him and explained what had happened.”

“Okay…was he angry?”

“He wasn’t. Until I questioned your sick pay.”

“My sick pay?I don’t get sick pay.”

“You do and Denis was stupid enough to tell you that you don’t. Everyone who works at PTMC regardless of position receives some form of sick pay. The sick pay is based on the days and hours you work. You’ve worked here for three years, correct?”

You nodded.

“Did you at any point break any clauses in your contract?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Good thats what I thought. So then I rang my very good friend at HR. After much insisting, they informed me that with a diagnosed chronic illness, employees are entitled to certain things. And Denis should have known that.” He continued, excitement was all over his face “But he was too busy sleeping with Pat from the kitchen. Pat’s husband is not going to be happy when he finds out.”

“What” you let out a laugh. “I’m so lost.”

“Long story short — Denis fucked up. He should have been paying you for your sick days. You were entitled to them, but he logged them wrong. And also, you informed HR of your chronic illness but they didn’t explain the benefits so now my good friend… who isn’t my friend anymore, is frantically calling their lawyers freaking out that you are about to sue their ass.”

You lost your words and all you could do was laugh. You laughed until tears were now running down your face.

Jack also joined in on the laughter “what’s so funny?”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not to be honest. And also I can’t believe Denis is sleeping with Pat. Explains why we kept getting free food.”

You wiped your tears and continued laughing hysterically. One thing about chronic illness… things never worked in your favour. Ever. So this was too good to be true.

“Oh and about your migraine injections. After much persuasion and I hope you don’t mind, HR said PTMC might cover partial costs.” He paused then let out a laugh. “I think they’re terrified you’re gonna sue them.”

“You did all of this for me?” You sniffed back tears.

“Of course I did. It was nothing.” He shrugged.

You threw yourself on him and gave him a hug. “Thank you Jack. You’re the kindest person I know.”

He whispered in your ear. “Anytime sweetheart.”

“But I won’t be able to get the injection.”

“Why?”

“I’m terrified of needles. You would literally have to sedate me.”

He pulled back gently, arms still wrapped around you. “I have something in mind. I can… help. Not with the sedation part but close enough.” He kissed you — a kiss that sent your mind racing and legs shaking. “Wanna get out of here?” He whispered.

You managed a “yes please” between kisses.

You quickly left PTMC and Jack stopped on the way to grab breakfast. He double checked that there were gluten free options — buying you both gluten free food. You made it over to his apartment after a lot of insisting that he wants to take care of you today. He gave you a quick tour and told you that the kitchen was off boundaries. You ate on the couch, being extra cautious not to drop food on it.

“Fancy a shower?” He said casually brushing a hand through your hair.

“Yes please — I could still smell the ER on me. I don’t know how you do it.”

“You get used to it. When something doesn’t smell sterile it feels… odd.”

“It felt overwhelming being in there. The lights were too bright.”

“I can imagine how difficult that must be for you. Working through the pain and pressure.”

“I got used to it.”

“It shouldn’t be something you get used to hun. You shouldn’t live in pain.”

You shrugged. You had no other options.

“About the injections”

“Abbot no—“

“You keep interrupting me and I…” he moved closer and whispered “I like to finish what I started so hear me out.”

His whisper took your breath away. You could’t help but nod at him.

“I can give you the injections, here at home. I can help you — I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt.”

“But the cost is —“

“Just don’t worry about the cost okay? Say yes and we will figure it out.”

We.

“Okay yes let’s do it.” You couldn’t protest — not when you were this turned on by him.

You could feel heat all over so you quickly said: “I uhh.. I’m gonna go shower, “ you leaned in and gave him a kiss. “I’ll try and be quick?” You fought every muscle in you to move away from him. You found his shower and tuned on the hot water. It was a waterfall shower from from the ceiling. Not only did it feel incredibly good, but also luxurious.

You found his towels and wrapped yourself up in one. You walked into the bedroom to find him on the bed, still in scrubs but fast asleep.

“Hey Jack?” You tried to wake him but he was in deep sleep.

You quickly put on one of his jumpers and tried to move him under the sheets. He was heavy.

You managed to take his scrub bottoms off first. You wondered if you should leave the top on. No it couldn’t stay on, you thought. Hospital germs should not be inbed.

You braced yourself, mentally preparing to move him — your plan was simple enough. Get on top, lift him up, then try and take the top off. You figured it would be smooth enough, but—

It was anything but.

You heard him mumble something under his breath, and before you knew it, his eyes fluttered open, finding you already positioned above him.

“Oh no, no—go back to sleep,” you whispered, mortified, as you quickly scrambled off him. “Sorry, I was trying to take your clothes off.”

He let out a groggy chuckle, his voice low and amused. “Buy me dinner first.”

You blinked, confused, whispering back, “What?”

He gave a lazy grin, then lifted his top off, pulling you into his arms with surprising ease. “It’s a joke, hun,” he murmured, his voice already slipping into that comfortable tiredness. “Come here.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he was already drifting back to sleep, his arms wrapped around you.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t even think about sleep. Not after that. You tossed and turned and eventually gave up. You got dressed, packed your bag and tried to wake Jack up but he slept like the dead. You even checked to see if he was breathing. You texted him as you made your way home, thanking him for everything.

You also had a text message from Denis saying we need to talk. You rolled your eyes so incredibly hard.

You spent your day off deep cleaning the kitchen and throwing away pretty much everything. You made sure to put mask and gloves on, courtesy of Jack. After a million runs to the bin room, you gave up. You threw yourself on the sofa and groaned in pain. Not a migraine headache, but a body ache. You checked to see if there’s been any texts from Jack but there were none.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him and wanted to see him so badly. You called the ER and asked if he was working today — the woman on the line hesitated at first to share this information. You then asked her is the usual attending on which she said yes to.

You got ready and headed over to the Mexican restaurant, grabbed yourself, him and the others some food as a thank you for what they did.

You walked through the ER doors with two bags in hand, looking like a lost lamb. Regret quickly filled your mind and you hesitated to walk in any further. You weren’t together, he was simply helping you — you both had a crush on each other but what if he didn’t want to see you?

“Oh my — it’s the pastry fairy!”

You turned around to find the same doctor as last time. You quickly blushed. “Hello. I uhh.. I got you guys some food?” You shrugged.

She did a small happy dance. “Damn girl you made my night.”

“It’s a thank you for what you guys did last night.” You handed her over a bag. “It’s not much sorry… it’s mainly chips and salsa.. oh and guac.”

“Thanks girl. I bet you’re looking for Abbot?”

You nodded.

“He’s in a trauma call at the minute but uhhh if you wait in our break room I’ll grab him for you.”

“Okay thank you”

You felt incredibly out of place and you weren’t too sure if you should be here. You waited anxiously in the break room with the other doctor.

“I don’t think I got your name sorry?”

“It’s Parker, Parker Ellis.” She shook your hand and you hoped and prayed she’d not touched the non-gluten free chips. You wiped your hand on your jeans as a precaution.

“Your pastries are amazing by the way. You should pursue that. Your skills are wasted upstairs.”

“Do you think? I— I wasn’t sure if anyone was going to eat them given they were gluten free.”

“Yeah they were good!” She said as she took a mouthful of salsa.

You let out a nervous laugh. “Thank you, for the feedback I… might have a think about it.”

“You should — I’ve be your first customer. Actually Abbot will” she winked.

“Abbot will be what?” Jack walked in, stethoscope around his neck, looking handsome as always.

“Hey hun.” He gave you a peck on the lips — incredibly casually. Parker let out a whistle and you quickly turned away blushing.

“Hey Jack.” You whispered.

He didn’t hesitate to put one arm around you. He leaned against the table and rested you on one leg.

“Hey save some for the rest” Abbot joked.

More people walked into the room and you quickly adjusted your position, but Jack on the other hand didn’t flinch. He seemed like he wanted to everyone to know that you were his. You felt a tiny flutter in your chest.

“Did you get yourself some food?” He whispered, watching everyone else fight each other over chips and salsa.

“I did. I got us two burritos and some chips, just for us.” You nodded towards the bag on the side.

“Did you get me a gluten free one?”

You frowned, not sure if it was a trick question. You said quietly “yes, is that okay?”

“Of course it is” he murmured into your ear “It just means I get to kiss you later.”

His voice sent a shiver down your spine and you instantly had goosebumps. What really got to you, though, was how he remembered. He hadn’t just brushed off what you’d said, or acted like it was no big deal. He actually took the time to be thoughtful. That small, quiet gesture… it meant more than you were ready to admit.

You sat in the corner with Jack, away from everyone else as you two ate your food.

Parker came up to you “girl, you’re good. If Jack breaks your heart I’ll kill him.” She winked at you as she came in for a hug.

“No uh uhhh Ellis hands off.” He put his hand out. “wash your hands, please.”

Your jaw dropped and you put your hand over your mouth. The quick movement, the thoughtfulness… you couldn’t help but wonder if this is what love felt like?

Ellis gave him the middle finger and walked off, along with everyone else who thanked you.

“It was only chips and salsa…” you said quietly. “What did they do when I brought in pastries?”

“A fight once broke out between Ellis and one of the nurses, Mateo.”

“You’re kidding”

“Nope.” He shook his head and wiped his mouth. “Ellis got called away and she left a half eaten pastry no the side. She came back and Mateo had eaten it.” He let out a laugh. “It was incredibly funny to watch. What’s even funnier that I hid two pastries in my bag.”

You let out a loud laugh. “Maybe I should make more for them.”

“Have you sorted out your appliances yet?”

“Uh yeah. I threw everything out. I deep cleaned the oven, twice. I deep cleaned the fridge too. I just need to buy new of…everything.”

“Nothing better than a fresh start.”

“I agree.”

He leaned in and stole another kiss. “You ran off today.”

“I… tried to wake you but you sleep like the actual dead.” You let out a chuckle.

“Were you on… top of me at one point?”

You buried your face in your hands and nodded.

He let out another loud laugh. “I thought I dreamt it.”

You said, speech muffled “I wanted to help you get in your PJs. But you’re so heavy.”

He didn’t reply so you moved your hands and looked over at him. He was admiring you, and without nothing, licking his lips. He was looking at you like someone would look at a delicious piece of pastry.

You felt heat in that moment and weren’t too sure how quickly you would fall in love with Jack Abbot but it might have happened already.

— — — — — — — — — — — —

You were back to work the next day just as usual. Denis had prepared a long apology over his fuck up. You accepted his apology — you felt that him admitting to his mistakes, although slightly too late, was a step in the right direction.

“By the way we’re short staffed today.” He added at the end of the conversation.

“Seriously? Where’s Clara?”

“She’s not well. And Steve can’t come in.”

“So it’s just me and…” you looked over at your new apprentice. “Great. Thanks Denis.”

You got to work and the shift was kicking your ass. You were behind on orders and the apprentice who, 7 hours into the shift, you’d forgotten to ask him what his name was, was having the worst first shift ever. You couldn’t even tell him off — the poor guy has been thrown into the deep end on his first swimming lesson. Except he had no limbs to help him swim.

Your body ached, stomach hurt and you were getting a headache. The panic of your head hurting made your heart beat incredibly fast. It wasn’t a migraine. You reminded yourself.

“There’s someone here for you.” The apprentice said. You looked over at Jack was at the counter.

“Heyyy Jack” you walked over to him, wiping your hands with a clean towel.

He picked something out of your messy hair and took the towel off you to clean coffee grounds from your face. “Looks like a rough shift.”

“Rough doesn’t even describe it.” You let out a big sigh. “The usual?”

He nodded, with a smirk on his face. But before you walked off you leaned over the counter and gave him a kiss.

“Come see me before you go?” He said quietly.

“Of course I will. I should be off soon. We’re closing early because 5 minutes from now it’s just going to be me.” You shrugged.

“You feeling alright? Not too tired?”

“Uhh” you let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m so tired and I forgot to pack lunch and then I spoke to Pat in kitchen, she had none left.”

“So you’ve not eaten?”

You shook your head. “No then I tried to order food but then got distracted.” You let out a huff. Another customer walked over to the counter.

“Meet me downstairs when you’re done. I’ll sort dinner out.”

“Thank you.” You leaned over and gave him another kiss. He stayed for a few seconds longer than he should have.

You served the last customer of the night and locked up. You grabbed a bag of pastries, two coffees and made your way to the ER.

“Hi Lena.” You put the coffees and the bag down.

“Hey sweet. He’s with a patient but you can wait in the break room.”

“I have pastries would you like one?”

“I call first dibs!” Ellis ran over.

“They’re not home made sorry.”

Ellis let out a disappointing oh.

“Shall I leave them in the break room?”

“You must be our fairy. Shall I take them off your hand?” Someone said, a guy you’d never met before.

“Uh yeah sure.”

“Don’t give them to Mateo” Ellis quickly said. “I’ll take them.”

“Oh so you’re Mateo. And you two had the fight.” You let out a chuckle.

Lena let out a laugh and shook her head.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around you. “Heyyy” you said softly.

“Hi” he whispered in your ear. One thing about Jack Abbot he was not shy about showing off his girl. Another thing about you is you hated attention. You sunk into his arms and couldn’t help but blush. “Are the vultures bothering you?”

“Not at all! Are you guys always this hungry?”

“Only because our attending doesn’t feed us.”

“Speaking of food… it should be here in a few minutes.” He paused and spun you around. He looked over at Ellis and everyone else. “But not for you don’t get your hopes up.”

You heard a lot of oh's and no’s but you were to focused on Jack’s eyes. He grabbed the coffees and lead the way to the break room.

“Are you too tired to go home?” He faced you as you leaned against the counter.

“What makes you say that?”

“Two coffees.”

“Maybe one is for another handsome attending.”

“Oh yeah?” He leaned in closer. “Who might that be?”

“Hmmm… Dr Fred.”

He let out a loud laugh. “Fred?”

“Couldn’t come up with a better name on the spot sorry. And yeah… the shift was long so I thought I’d have a coffee to wake me up.”

“What time do you start tomorrow?”

“Short shift — like 1pm?”

“If you want… you can crash in the on-call room and I can take you home in the morning?”

“How comfy is the bed?” You leaned in and whispered.

“I didn’t say anything about sleep.” He went in for a kiss and as you pulled him into you, you felt him.

“Shall we go now?” You whispered.

He shook his head. “I—I would love to but I’ve gotta finish a few things. And food should be here.” He kissed again. “Eat and then I’ll come see you. Lena can show you the room?”

“Mhmm.” You weren’t entirely listening to what he was saying, still feeling him on you.

A knock on the door interrupted you.

“Dr Abbot you’re needed for a trauma… and food is here.” She smiled before walking out.

He let out long breath and had to adjust himself. He whispered sorry and ran out of the room.

You had dinner alone in the break room — Jack’s food had gone cold. You tried to go find him but it was chaotic out there. You texted him saying you’d leave the food on the side and you’re going to the on call room. You didn’t receive a reply back so you quickly snuck off and found the bed. Sleep came rather quickly.

You woke up at around 5am — Jack still hadn't texted back. You took a few minutes to wake yourself up properly, washed your face in the bathroom then went back to the ER. It looked like everyone had a bad shift. It was a mess. People were charting and yet falling asleep at the same time.

“Morning Lena. Looks like the apocalypse came early?”

“That is a great way to describe it. It’s been difficult. Jack asked about you sweet but he’s been none stop.”

“I thought he was. Would you like a drink Lena?”

“Oh sweet you don’t have to do that.”

“I honestly don’t mind.” Yo grabbed a pen and paper and took her order. You wrote everyone’s orders down and made it to the kitchen. You prepared everyone’s order and started handing them out.

Ellis had her head down on the desk and you gently shook her. You handed her a cup of coffee as she lifted her head up. “Oh my God I could kiss you right now.”

“Jack would literally kill you.” Shen said from behind, letting out a loud yawn.

You handed him an iced drink and he frowned.

“I grabbed ice from the cafe upstairs.” You shrugged.

“Oh Abbot is gonna have competition soon” He said with a wink.

“And Abbot will fire you both if you keep flirting with her.” He said from behind you. “Morning sweetheart.”

“Morning handsome.” You turned around and gave him a kiss. “I heard it was bad.”

He nodded. He looked absolutely destroyed.

“Shen and Ellis said they’ll both cover for you while you take 15.” You lied.

They both shot you a confused look.

You continued with the lie. “But I have to bake them fresh goods which I agreed to. Let’s go.”

You winked at them as you dragged Abbot away from the floors of the ER into the on-call room.

He sat on the bed and rubbed his face.

“How bad?”

“MVC. Two dead and one had his arm amputated. No one was wearing seatbelts. So stupid.”

“Fuck… I’m sorry you had to see that.”

He looked at you and gave you a sad smile.

“We have 15 minutes…” you said quietly.

“Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?”

You walked over to him and gently tilted his chin up. “Close your eyes.”

He obeyed without question.

With slow, quiet movements, you peeled off your top, then slid your bottoms down your legs, letting them fall to the floor. You stepped closer and pressed your bare body against him, guiding his face to rest against the warm skin of your stomach and chest. Even with his eyes still closed, his hands found your thighs, sliding up slowly as he pulled you closer, lips brushing respectfully over your skin. “Take off your clothes,” you whispered.

He did exactly as you asked, eyes remaining shut while he stripped off his scrubs. The moment he was bare, you climbed onto his lap, straddling him on the small bed.

You kissed him deeply, slow and hungry. His arms wrapped around you tightly, one hand sliding up your back while the other gripped your hip, pulling you flush against him. You could already feel how hard he was, pressing insistently between your thighs.

“Let me take care of you tonight,” you murmured against his lips. “Just feel me… forget everything else.”

You reached between you, wrapped your fingers around him, and slowly guided him inside you. The stretch made you both moan softly. Once he was fully seated, you began to move with deliberate rolls of your hips that had his head falling back against the wall.

Abbot’s eyes finally opened, locking onto yours as you moved together. He whispered your name like a prayer every time you sank down onto him. You leaned forward, pressing your chest to his, kissing him again as you quickened your pace, determined to make him forget every terrible thing he’d seen tonight. “Fuck… just like that,” he breathed against your mouth, voice rough with pleasure. You smiled into the kiss and rode him harder, and harder until he crashed.

— — — — — —— — —— — —— — —

You glanced over at the time and Jack’s shift was about to start so you made him his coffee. You’d been fighting off an odd sensation in your head all day — not entirely certain if it was the start of a migraine or just a headache or something new. You took your tablets as a precaution and went back to serving customers. You seemed to be off your feet a bit more… almost like your mind was not well co-ordinated with your legs. You bumped into the same counter you worked at for years.

Then it clicked. It was time for your next monthly injection which you were dreading. Jack promised he’d pick up the prescription for you and he’d help administer it. The thought of the injection gave you instant nausea.

“There’s my favourite girl.” The sound of his voice instantly brought a smile on your face.

“Hi handsome.” You walked over with his coffee.

“Hun have you been in a fight?” He frowned as he looked down at your forearm which was covered in bruises.

“Oh no I wish. I’d love to fight Denis. I reckon I’d win.” You zoned out into the distance. You realised you’d zoned out. “Sorry. Brain is foggy today. The bruising.. it’s new.” You shrugged.

“And did you not think to mention it to me?

“Jack I can’t keep coming to you with every single problem.”

“Baby that’s what boyfriends are for!”

“Yes but you’re also a doctor — a doctor who worries too much. You’re gonna tell me I’m gonna need bloods next.”

He put his hands out. “Uh yeah!”

“I hate needles. You would need to knock me out.”

He gave you a smirk.

You hissed. “Not like that Jack!”

He couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

“Go before you’re late. I will come see before going home.”

“Any pastries for tonight?”

You looked over at the cabinet which was looking very empty. You shook your head. “But guess what? I have something better.”

“You baked?” He said excitedly.

You shook your head again. You’ve not been able to buy brand new appliances yet.

“Pat said I can have any leftover foods from the cafeteria. She locks up the same time as me and today was pizza day.”

“Ohhh the ER is gonna love you.” He leaned in and took a kiss.

You wondered who else loved you, you gave him a small, shy smile.

You closed the cafe, walked over to Pat who was just about to close. “This is your gluten free bag and everything else is in there. Enjoy your feast.” She said coldly before walking away. She may be a grumpy lady but deep down she is a sweetheart.

You walked down to the ER and it seemed like Ellis possibly had a tracker on you because she saw you immediately.

“What do we have hereeee.” She clapped her hands together. You gave her the bag of food. “It was pizza night.”

“Don’t tell Mateo.” She whispered.

“Hey Mateo? Parker is taking the whole bag of food for herself.” You called over to Mateo who glanced between his patient and Ellis, then whispered fuck.

You followed Ellis into the break room and opened your bag of food, texting Jack that you’d arrived. You sat across from Ellis, eating and chatting, but something felt off.

The food tasted... too normal. It was fine, but lacked the usual flavour you expected.

“Hey Ellis?” You asked hesitantly “What does gluten free food taste to you?”

“Like cardboard. Apart from your baked goods of course.” She said as she took another bite of her pizza.

“Can you taste this please?” You gave her a bite of your food.

“Oh shit.” She muttered. “Girl that is not gluten free.”

Anxiety washed over you and you instantly felt sick. You ran over to the bin, Ellis instantly next to you, gently touching you back as you were being sick.

You felt sadness take over — you’d been doing so well, being extra cautious then you put your trust into Pat who poisons you?

Ellis texted Jack sos break room.

Your sickness has now stopped and Ellis sat you on the floor and gave you a glass of water. “Actually no let me grab you a sealed bottle.” She said as she ran out of the room.

Jack then rushed in, instantly joining you on the floor. “What happened?

“Fucking Pat. She gave me gluten free food but she lied.” You said through tears. “I threw it all up instantly but I’m scared some is still inside.”

“I swear some people are just careless and so fucking irresponsible. Come here hun.” He took you in for a hug and gently rocked you until you stopped crying.

Ellis walked back into the room. “I sanitised the bottle I promise.”

“Thanks Ellis.” Jack said.

“Is she alright?” She whispered.

He shook his head.

“Shall I get a bed ready?”

He nodded.

“Shall we go to bed sweetheart?”

You shook your head.

“Please stay here tonight. Don’t go home what if you have an attack?”

“I can’t spend all night in there either being sick or trying not to—” You stopped yourself. You were worried you were going to be rushing off to the toilet every few seconds.

“This is a hospital baby we’ve seen much, much worse.”

“I feel like I failed.” You spat out. “I trusted her — I’ve been doing so well avoiding it and then I get greedy and I’m hungry and I pay the frickin’ price.”

Jack didn’t have anything to say back to that. One person’s carelessness could potentially ruin the progress you worked on. He was angry for you.

“Let’s go to bed hun c’mon.” He helped you up and into one of the rooms.

A nurse came in to take your blood pressure.

“I don’t need to get checked out Jack.” You insisted.

“You do. Let’s take baseline observations then nothing alright?”

You nodded.

“Her blood pressure is very low.” The nurse said.

“wh—what does that mean?” You asked.

“It means that the volume in your blood is low. It can happen when your body is inflammed.. or” Jack stopped himself. It happened in malnutrition too, he thought.

“Or what?” You glanced between him and the nurse.

“We need to take bloods. Please.” He said softly, preparing for a protest.

You shook your head. “Over my dead fucking body. No-way.”

“Please, please. The bruising… you kept tripping over nothing the other day. We need to do bloods sweetheart I know it’s not what you want.”

“Don’t be a doctor Jack. Just listen to what I’m saying please.” You cried.

You looked over at him and within an instant, the flashing light was back. You whispered no.

“w—what? No to what?” He looked behind him, toward where your eyes were. “What can you see?”

“The flashing light is back.” You put your hands over your eyes as an instinct knowing full well it won’t help.

“Please let me do bloods and we can give you an IV. We’ll give an injection to help calm you too, I promise you won’t feel it.”

You didn’t reply but silently sobbed on the bed. Jack brushed his hand through your hair — a movement he thought was helping but in fact your head was becoming incredibly sensitive too.

“I know you’re trying to help, I know you are.” You cried. “I’m more upset at this stupid luck that keeps following me. It’s too much to ask but sometimes I wish I could just be fine. I want to normal Jack.”

“I guess people’s usual response would be ‘no one is normal’.”

You said through tears “I just know that won’t be your response though.”

“No hun. You’re allowed to be angry. You can scream cry or even laugh at the irony of it all. But you seem to forget that you are strong enough to handle this. And I know you don’t want to deal with it, and I don’t blame you. It sucks. This is your second trip to the ER in what a month? You can throw a punch, I’ll buy the fickin’ punching bag. But sweetheart, let me do this for you, let me help you.”

For a minute you didn’t reply then you slightly nodded.

“Please prep IM lorazepam” He whispered at the nurse. “And then for IV. Get someone to help me?”

You felt more people walk in the room — you didn’t want this, couldn’t. Your mind was racing. You felt someone take off your trousers and clean your thigh. You knew an injection was about to happen but before you could react or scream, Jack had now put his forehead on your and pinned you down, someone else had grabbed your legs and you couldn’t move. Your cries filled the ER.

The nurse managed to get bloods drawn before administering fluids. Within minutes, you felt the meds kick in and your nausea was gone, and the flickering light has now shifted to white spots in your vision.

“I’m sorry.” Abbot whispered. “I’m so sorry that was traumatic hun but we’ve done it okay?” He said softly. “The bloods, the IV, the injection, all of it.”

All you managed was a nod. He gave you some space while you rested — brain foggy, emotions battling between each other, anger and sadness were so far in the lead.

The hospital bloods showed anaemia and multiple deficiencies. You were not only on pain relief, but a hundred different types of supplements. It turned out you were classed as malnutritioned.

You thought to yourself: Chronic illness had won again.

Jack, like the brilliant man he was, put your mind at ease. He explained what each supplement was for, how long to take them for. He mentioned follow up bloods but you decided not to worry about that at the moment.

He took you home that morning, and somehow, over the following weeks, he became both a lover and a caregiver all at once. He was there when you needed him, always patient, always kind. Not once did he complain, or show any signs of frustration or weariness. He was a constant— caring, happy, and supportive, with a quiet strength that never seemed to waver. It was like he didn’t just want to be with you, but wanted to help you through the tough parts, too. And in a way, it made everything feel a little easier.

But guilt ate at you from the inside out. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he deserved a version of you that wasn’t weighed down by migraines and exhaustion. A healthier, more carefree version. You wished he’d seen you at your best, the you that wasn’t always fighting against your own body. Instead, he saw you at your lowest, and still, he stayed. But the guilt lingered, a quiet ache in your chest.

There was no doubt that the injections were helping. For the first time in a while, you were migraine free. You also were very cautious with foods, and luckily for you things were… settling down. You just hoped this would continue.

— — — — — — — — — —

The day had now come for the third migraine injection. Anxiety washed over you all day and you tried not to stress yourself too much. Jack texted asking if you could go over to his. He usually came over to your apartment — weird you thought. You wondered if he wasn’t comfortable giving the injection at your apartment? He had a few days coming off and you looked forwards to just hanging out with him. Not at work, not in the on-call room or the cafe, just at home. You made your way over to his apartment, emotions filled with a mix of anxiety and excitement.

“Hey sweetheart.” He opened the door with a pretty big smile on his face. You met his back with a rather smaller one. You’ve not even made it two steps in the door and he was already kissing you — a movement that made you forget all your problems for a second.

“Someone’s in the mood.” You whispered.

“For you always, but I’m excited.” He said between kisses.

“For… what?”

“A surprise. Multiple surprises actually.” He couldn’t help but grin.

“When do I get to see… this surprise?” You said flirtatiously.

There was a knock on the door.

“Are you expecting someone?”

“Maybe” he smiled before he opened the door.

A delivery driver was outside the door, with two huge boxes, a smaller one and a bunch of flowers. They were brought into the apartment ad Jack couldn’t stop grinning.

“What’s all this?” You said, not helping a big smile too.

“So… my kitchen is obviously not gluten free and I thought that maybe… you can spend more time here.” He said as he opened the boxes. “Oh shoot these are for you.” He handed you the flowers.

“They’re beautiful Jack.”

“And for you to spend more time here… I thought you could start baking again. For you. As a hobby.” He opened one of the boxes. “And If I bought these for you.. you would have protested so..” He managed to take out all the packaging. “I am now the new proud owner of a pink bakeware set.”

You looked inside the first box and he’d bought a matching set of anything and everything anyone would need to bake.

“w—what?” Your jaw was dropped wide open. “You did this for me?”

“There's another surprise hang on. That box,” he pointed at the other big one “,has pots and pans and everything else. It’s the boring stuff.” He shrugged.

You were in awe of what he’d done.

“Open the smaller box.” He handed it to you.

You opened the box to find… sex toys in there. You let out a nervous laugh — it certainly was not what you were expecting.

“You’re probably thinking that is a weird present but…” he wrapped his hands around you and leaned in. “Did you know that orgasms help reduce anxiety?”

You shook your head.

He said softly “I thought I’d get you something to take your mind off as I did the injection.”

You didn’t respond. You put the box on the side and took a few steps back. Your expression was rather… unreadable.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

You shook your head, trying not to cry.

“Hun wha— talk to me. What did I do?”

“I am not used to whatever this is.” You gestured at the boxes and the flowers. “Not used to kindness, or generosity. You’ve put so much thought into this.”

“You’re upset because I’ve been thoughtful?” He smiled, not one ounce of disappointment in his expression.

“As much as I love it it’s made me incredibly sad.” You wiped a tear away. “I’m sad it’s taken this long for me to experience it. Jack, I— dealing with an illness on daily basis is a struggle. Not just physically, but mentally. No body wants to deal with me, including myself. So when you come along and you’re this kind… I’m scared.”

You whispered “That I will lose this. Lose you”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“But what if you get tired of me? Of this. You would have to deal with my ups and downs. Changes that I don’t dictate. That my body forces on me.” You tried to steady your breath and anxiety. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

He smiled.

“What are you so smitten about?”

“You’re scared of being loved?”

“It’s not just love though is it. It’s more than that.”

“Sweetheart, it is.” Jack stepped closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “When someone loves unconditionally, they would give you this and more. Love doesn’t have boundaries or limits.” He stepped closer to you. “Love is scary too, full of ups and downs that we might create along the day. But darling wouldn’t you want to do it with someone?”

You nodded slowly. He was right. Every single word hit exactly where it needed to.

“And who would you want to do it with?”

You swallowed hard, heart pounding.

You whispered “You."

A soft, beautiful smile broke across Jack’s face. He leaned in and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to your forehead, then to your lips.

“Come here,” he murmured, taking your hand and leading you over to the couch. He sat down and pulled you gently onto his lap so you were straddling him, your bodies pressed close. He rested his forehead against yours, hands running soothingly up and down your back.

“Then let me show you what it feels like to be loved the way you deserve,” he whispered. “No pressure. Just me… taking care of you, now and everyday after.”

His fingers traced along your sides as he kissed you again — deeper this time and slower. You could feel the steady beat of his heart against your chest, grounding you and calming your anxiety. When he pulled back just enough to look at you, his voice was low and warm. “Would you like me to open the gifts with you… or would you rather I help you forget about being scared for a little while?”

“I think… I should thank you properly for all this generosity,” you said softly, a shy but playful smile tugging at your lips.

He tilted his head slightly, studying you. “You want to thank me, huh?” His hands squeezed your hips gently. “Does that mean you’re ready to do the injection tonight?”

You nodded quickly — almost too quickly — your cheeks flushing hot. The anxiety was still there, tight in your chest, but so was the growing heat low in your belly. Jack gave you a slow, knowing smile. He stood up, reached for the small box and the injection kit, then lead you down hallway toward his bedroom. The moment he set you down beside the bed, you were already breathing faster, thighs pressing together instinctively. He placed the toys and the injection on the nightstand. “Still nervous?” he asked, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

You nodded again, honest but clearly turned on.

He leaned in and kissed you deeply, one hand sliding down behind your back to pull you against him. When he pulled back, his lips were only inches from yours. He murmured. “We’ll go slow.”

His fingers started unbuttoning your shirt as he guided you backward onto the bed, eyes never leaving yours. His hands moved to your pants next, tugging them down along with your underwear in one smooth motion until you were completely bare on his bed. Jack stood back for a moment, taking in the sight of you. He quickly pulled his own shirt over his head and stepped out of his pants. “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.”

You did as he asked, thighs trembling slightly from a mix of anxiety and arousal. Jack settled between them, his body warm and solid. He clicked the toy on to the lowest setting and pressed the buzzing tip gently against you. A sharp gasp left your lips. Your hips jerked involuntarily as the vibrations sent sparks of pleasure through you. “Easy,” he soothed, one large hand stroking your inner thigh. “Just breathe.” While the toy worked slow circles over your most sensitive spot, he picked up the injection with his other hand. Your eyes flicked over to the injection.

“Eyes on me,” he said gently. “Not on this.” You nodded, biting your lip as the vibrations made you moan harder. He leaned down and kissed the inside of your thigh, then higher, his mouth following the path until his tongue replaced the toy for a few slow, luxurious licks that had you moaning even louder. Only when you were panting and gripping the sheets did he bring the injection closer. “You’re doing so well, stay nice and relaxed for me.”

He pressed the cool alcohol swab to your skin, then carefully administered the injection with steady hands while his mouth continued to tease you, keeping you right on the edge of pleasure so the sting barely registered.

A tiny whimper escaped you, but it quickly melted into another moan as he turned the vibrator back on and pressed it firmly against your clit again, harder this time. “All done,” he whispered against your slick skin, kissing the spot just above where he’d injected you. “Such a good girl. Now… let me really thank you for trusting me.”

He kissed you deeply, swallowing your moans as he lined himself up and slowly pushed inside.

You both groaned at the feeling — tight, wet, and perfect.

Jack started moving, deep and steady. Every thrust pushed you closer to the edge, the mix of fullness and his low praises making your head spin. “That’s it, sweetheart… Let go for me.” Jack’s voice was low and rough in your ear — your nails dug into his shoulders as your hips started meeting his thrusts, chasing the sensation. He groaned at the way you tightened around him, his free hand gripping your thigh to spread you wider.

“Look at me,” he commanded softly.

You forced your eyes open, locking onto his intense gaze. The sight of him above you — flushed, jaw tight — pushed you even closer to the edge. He angled his hips slightly, hitting that perfect spot inside you. Your moans grew louder, less controlled, the toy and his cock working together until your legs started shaking.

“Jack— oh god—”

“That’s my girl,” he praised, voice strained. “Come for me. Let me feel you.”

The pressure built fast and sharp. Your back arched off the bed as the orgasm slammed into you, waves of intense pleasure ripping through your body. You cried out his name, pulsing hard around him, your walls fluttering and squeezing as you came undone.

Jack cursed under his breath, the feeling of you coming around him pushing him right to his limit. He dropped the toy to the side, grabbed both of your hips, and fucked you through it. Jack collapsed half on top of you, careful not to crush you, and pressed lazy kisses along your neck and shoulder. He kissed the corner of your mouth, then your lips, slow and sweet.

“You did so well, sweetheart,” he whispered, voice warm and full of pride.

You let out a shaky, content sigh and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. The anxiety that had been clawing at you earlier was gone — replaced by warmth, safety, and the steady beat of his heart against yours.

“I think I’m gonna become a big fan of these injections.” You whispered into his ears.

He didn’t hesitate to start again.

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