Things I think more people need to know about self-harm:
• “Self-harm” here means pathological self-harm, not religious self-harm.
• This post is meant to educate, not give anyone ideas.
• The lists of examples given are not exhaustive.
1. Cutting yourself with a knife is not the only form of self-harm that exists.
If you do something to deliberately cause yourself pain (physical or emotional), no matter what it is, it is self-harm.
Cutting yourself with something that’s sharp enough to hurt but not sharp enough to break your skin is still self-harm.
Forcing yourself to throw up because you know it’ll hurt and/or you feel like you don’t deserve to be nourished is still self-harm.
Doing something you know will make you uncomfortable for the sake of (as opposed to in spite of) making yourself uncomfortable is still self-harm.
Eating foods you are allergic to or that have a texture or flavor you know you can’t take to put yourself in pain or physical discomfort is self-harm.
If you are a victim of trauma, putting yourself into situations that mimic your original trauma to trigger yourself is self-harm.
Triggering yourself on purpose is self-harm.
If you are harming yourself on purpose, it is self-harm regardless of what it is and whether or not other people can see it.
2. Self-harm is still self-harm regardless of why someone does it.
• Because they think they deserve it
• Because someone else thinks they deserve it
• For no reason at all, actually
• And always regret doing it afterwards
• And aren’t necessarily hooked on it
• And are capable of stopping
• And only do it in certain situations
• And have personal limitations for what kind(s) of self-harm they will engage in
• And don’t have a depressive disorder
…are still self-harmers, because they have harmed themselves. Saying they didn’t just because they didn’t do it for the “right reasons” is like saying you didn’t actually break someone’s plate because it was an accident and not done out of spite. (Use that one on whoever owned the plate and you would be laughed out of their house.)
3. Invalidation of self-harmers because the forms of self-harm they engage in are something other than what you think self harm is, or because you think they don’t do it “for the right reasons” needs to stop.
When you say this to self-harmers, here are some examples of what we will hear:
• “You’re not putting yourself in enough pain and I dare you to put yourself in more.”
• “Your personal struggles aren’t enough of a struggle.”
• “I don’t care about what you’re going through.”
You’re kidding yourself if you don’t think these aren’t dangerous things to say or imply. I’ve almost attempted suicide because people have said these things to me, and being told I’m not putting myself in enough pain has caused me to “up the ante.” If you care about the person’s safety, you will not invalidate their self-harm.
If you are a self-harmer and reading this:
• You are justified in feeling hurt by what you’ve been hurt by, even if it’s something others might perceive as “small” or “trivial.”
• You deserve just as much help as any other self-harmer.
• Anyone telling you you’re not “really” self-harming is an ableist and needs to shut the fuck up.
• The mods of @disablesian-club are more than willing to listen and give you validation, if you feel like you need to talk. We can’t promise that we can help your situation but we will certainly hear you out!
• I hope you feel better soon. ^_^
>> But if you don’t, it’s okay to be hurt for however long it takes.
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