please break my heart

aleksandra, 19. #hjerteknuser. literally eternally pissed. i can dream no more. music, literature, volleyball and some kinda awkward stuff. sex drugs ski jumping

[novecientosonce]

[chairdelenazade]

          Zoe and Wade - First and last scenes of each season

[lostinafaroffland]

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[lets-go-to-fly]

[2-0-0-0-x]

[youngdreamerlove]

[shitciety]

[syncerely]

[halseycon]

[nalexandrah]

[summersfolly]

[summersfolly]

dream came true

[pursuing-something]

[rawwrtiger]

[the-trash-treasury-deactivated2]

“So get on with your life when it’s over Let it rest, leave the past in the past Reconsider yourself when you’re sober Save the best, make it last, make it last.” (x) 

[the-trash-treasury-deactivated2]

There have been so many brilliant moments that I am really thankful for to have witnessed as a fan. Thanks for those Bjørn Einar Romøren and all the best for everything!

[summersfolly]

kinda awkward stuff

Well, today something is coming to an end.

My love to ski jumping began because of one man. If there was no Bjoern Einar, I would never be here. I would never get interested in ski jumping (this is awkward, but that's the truth). I would never write some shitty fanficks (awkwardness level: high) which some people loved and I would never meet many wonderful people that I know because of ski jumping. I would never have some amazing afterparties and never get into Norway and Norwegian, so I have no idea what I would do after my final exams (now I know, I'm gonna study Scansinavistica/Norwegian). 

My life would be completely different if there was no BER and that is the most awkward thing ever.

I used to cheer for him for years. I used to translate many articles from Norwegian just to know how he is and what he is doing after the back-pain-problems. I used to count every point and be so nervous about his jumps and places. I used to spend hours reading about him just to know how his career was when I was too small to be a real ski jumping fan. 

I know it all sounds pathetic. It's not like I'm a greatest BER's fangirl ever (okay it is) and I'm not like OMG HE'S SO HANDSOME LET ME LOVE HIM. I admire him as a ski jumper, as a sportsman.

Today's news were so sad to me I could not stop my tears for falling just because I knew that something has just finished. I'm never gonna cheer for him again. But his decision is 100% reasonable, understandable and yeah it was necesarry I know. I can't forgive myself for not going to Planica this year and for being ill during the Harrachov competitions - my tickets, dreams, plans, everything failed. But I was in Zakopane two weeks ago (COC) and yeah let's say I had a chance so say goodbye.

I'm sorry for all my feels. I'm sorry that I put them all here. But I guess some of you may understand me. I just... Fuck, I'm getting old.

[lucky-number-slevin]