Watch-me-Fly

Creature of either day or night. These writings can be fictional, experiential, or maybe emotional. Photos included too. Music maybe as well. Ciao!

[summersideupagain]

5 years and I'm still single.

Lately, posts of happy couples, engagements, and child birth circulates my social media timelines. I see friends happily getting engaged and married, traveling with their partners, and even playing with their kids. I feel like I'm too young (at 23) to be seeing all this unfold before me. I have friends who have been consistently asking me why I am still single. They are more worried than I am. Or maybe I just haven't looked at how urgent the situation is. (Hehehe) You see, I haven't been effortless with this lovelife thingy. Well, maybe I lack a bit in effort but the thing is, I'm at least making an effort. I went out with a couple of pretty ladies recently but it just didn't click. I mean, I tried. We went out for dinner, talked over coffee, etc etc. I am not actually sure if it's just that it didn't click or maybe because I don't know how it feels anymore. To get excited over a text message in the morning. Feeling the butterflies in your stomach. Blushing talking about a particular somebody. Things like that. I feel like I'm numb. And Tinder's not helping either. I look at photos online and I actually envy people who are 'in love' like they whole-heartedly are. I ask myself 'why?' And no answer whatsoever pops in my mind. Am I meant to live my whole life alone?! Now that I'm writing this, I am starting to worry. Am I just being crazy? I don't know. All I know is, I am waiting for someone. Someone to come in to my life and breathe into me the sensation of loving. It's been 5 years since I last fell in love and that maybe a long time already. When I find that someone, I swear I'm gonna love her like no one else before did. And I hope I could.

[summersideupagain]

OMG. I am starting to not care if I don't get a girlfriend in the next ten years. Am I gonna grow old alone? And grumpy? Hmmmmmm.

[summersideupagain]

Reading in the dark

Earlier this week, while I was reading a book outdoors, I thought to myself:

"Bakit parang madilim masyado?" (Why is it so dark?)

Then, out of nowhere, I suddenly decided to brush my bangs up and I gladly told myself:

"Okay, maliwanag na ulit." (Okay, It’s bright again)

Bangs pa more po.

[summersideupagain]

Do I only get a Good Morning message from a coffee with a smile in my face?

[summersideupagain]

Greater Lagro Subdivision, located somewhere in Fairview, Quezon City, is the newest food hub in the metro. Slowly starting to be a strip of worthy restaurant and food houses, Lagro is on the way to being like Maginhawa Street.

Boasting 3 milktea houses, a few pastry bakeries, shawarma places (Including the famed Tri-mo Shawarma Co), an affordable japanese resto, and pizza places among others, Lagro could really be your barkada’s next go-to food trip spot. Nice, right?

Last night, we tried Amaris Street Cafe located along Bristol Avenue. The place looks fresh and bright with its white walls, a few murals, and some installations. The place offers a short selection of Pastas, Finger foods to share such as Nachos, Mozzarella Cheese Sticks, and Spicy Chicken etc., and some desserts and pastries.

We ordered A Creamy Cheese Pasta, Tuna Pesto Pasta, and a Chicken Alfredo Pasta. We also got a cupcake-sized Blueberry Cheesecake and a Revel Bar. While waiting for our orders, they gave us complimentary Mozarella Cheese Sticks. Sweet, huh? 

Over all, their food did not disappoint. It may not be upscale-restaurant-quality dishes but it still exceeded our expectations given the price range. Pastas were at 100-130 pesos per plate and is already good for sharing! Pastries were also good. And the Mozzarella Cheese Sticks? They were creamy and delicious.

Considering the price range, serving size, and quality of food. I will rate the place 8/10. It will surely not disappoint!

Come visit Amaris Street Cafe! I’m sure you will enjoy. Visit Lagro, you’ll find your food place, I’m sure. Rock on!

[summersideupagain]

Boy: Miss, may nakapagsabi na ba saýong maganda ka?

Girl: Wala pa, bakit?

Boy: SABI KO NA NGA BA EH!

[summersideupagain]

For your broken self

Broken. Repaired. Never Healed.

Who could have told you how to make things better? Nothing was better. You were devastated, broken, alone. You have your friends but you were always lonely.

You learned to shut your self from the world. Maybe running away was your only choice. Hoping time will close all your wounds.

Time came and out of your cave you went. You felt you were ready but then you weren’t. You thought you were strong but it wasn’t enough.

How do you get up from stumbling down? How could something so good hurt so bad? How could something so perfect be the worst?

It haunts you. Ghosts of your broken past coming back to eat you alive. How does one heal all these wounds?

And then your here. In the worst and best situation.

You were bleeding but still you look at what you never had. Maybe life has a funny way of healing.

You were dying inside but slowly things changed. It wasn’t a look of envy or hatred. It was starting to be a look of understanding. Understanding why it isn’t. Understanding why it is.

Maybe it was all this. For you to know and understand. For you to hurt to heal completely. To let it flow and hurt until it hurts no more. To just accept.

After all, acceptance, is the start of your healing.

(Small talks and quick feels trips with friends)

[wnq-writers]

Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs the most.

(via awkwarddly)

[summersideupagain]

I can't believe how fast teenagers change boyfriends/girlfriends nowadays. Just 2 weeks ago, a friend of mine was devastated from breaking up with her (now) ex-boyfriend and juat today she's already found a new guy. I just don't get it.

[summersideupagain]

Literally and figuratively.

[summersideupagain]

Did a quick setup for my Sister's 18th birthday celebration last saturday just on our garage. Went a little indie-boho. Haha!

[summersideupagain]

Dafuq

Sabi ko dati, kahit kelan magkasyota sister ko wala ako pakielam. Pero ngayon puta gusto sapakin yung boyfriend niya.

[summersideupagain]

Who says men can't do the groceries?!

[summersideupagain]

3 years

Girl 1: "I'm sorry. Friends?"

3 years. Maybe more.

3 years. I was devastated for 3 years. I was angry, sad, exhausted, empty, broken. I know it might sound ridiculous but I was. Nothing recurred to me but what I felt about her. 

Girl 1: "We can't talk as much as we usually do."

How she made me feel. How she swept me off of my feet. How all those nicknames was very special to me.

Girl 1: "I started going out with him and he wouldn't like it"

I was already there. Apparently, she got there. Just not the same place.

3 years. Too long of a time to get over and recover right? Maybe yes. Maybe not. I was so in love but I still had sense of the world I was living in.

I was in love but grounded to the fact that I had a job and schooling to juggle.

Girl 1: "Maybe there's someone else for you."

I thought I'd just get over this in a bit. A few months passed and I felt okay again. I thought I was okay. 

Things remind you of someone and then you'll be broken again. I thought I needed a stronger glue for this.

They told me to look for a new one. I prayed for someone to come into my life.

Girl 2: "Hi."

Me: "Hi."

3 years. Now someone new is here.

I know she is someone special. Her eyes. Her smile. Her aura. I know this one's different. Food, movies, books. We get each other. I'm going to take you places you've never been. You're gonna tell me things I don't know.

There so much that may happen.

Friend 1: "So... how's it going with you two?"

Everyone's excited.

3 years. I met someone new. She is amazing but I am unsure. Something is bothering me. Something I can't explain.

Me: "Taking it slow."

I thought I was ready. I prayed for you to cross my path one day.

Now you're here I am not certain. Maybe because it's been three years. I don't know how it feels anymore. Just please give me more time.

Girl 2: "Thank you. You made this night wonderful."

3 years.

[summersideupagain]

A yellow kite waving

I woke up facing the window from an afternoon nap and from then I was staring at a yellow kite stuck on a TV antenna above our neighbor's house just across the street. I've been staring at it for a long time and the more I look at it, the more I felt triumphant. Like a war won after a decade, it felt like my flag was boastfully waving in the air. Signifying how big the battles won and how exhausting it has been.

Then I realized, I just felt relieved to be sleeping this much on a weekend after 3 weeks of crazy working. Oh, life.

[summersideupagain]

You were always that star

Pretty little star.

Twinkling bright and pretty.

Laughing from afar

Smiling big and hefty.

Shown me love

like what dreams were.

Eating ice cream from the tub.

Always here always there.

By my side

but never were.

Always kind

couldn't bear.

I always thought

I could be with a twinkling star.

I always fought

but never went far. 

[summersideupagain]

All I wanted to tell you (But never did say)

1

I was perfectly (or not) okay that day. I was going on about just as normal as any day could have been. I woke up like normal teenagers do. Got up and then got myself ready to go out.

I hate being inside the house. There was nothing for me there. For most days, I was alone and I was dying to get some action in my life. I was like a living dead person.

And so then, I went to the mall to kill time. I like being in the mall. There's a lot of stuff to check out but its amusement factor does not really last long. After a week, I've probably been everywhere inside this mall. Although, there's a place in the mall I never get tired of going to.

It's got a park just behind it. A lot of people stay there. Sitting on benches, laughing with friends, or just reading books.

It's seeing groups of friends there. I wonder how it would be like to have friends. I mean, I have friends but they're just not the kind I'd spend so much time outside of school and there isn't really a lot of kids my age around the block. They're either too old or to young to hang out with. Imagine a 16-year-old guy watching Phineas and Ferb with 9-year-old kids or smoking weed and drinking beer with 20-year-old people. I just couldn't find that set of humans I'll hang out with around our neighborhood.

So, there I just sit on a bench on that park almost everyday. Reading a book or doing absolutely nothing. Although today, was surprisingly different.

I observe every group there is. There are some kids playing around but this park is usually where teenagers like me flock together like birds. Although I'm the only one who goes solo or unfortunately forced by no one to go solo but goes solo still.

Then something caught my eye. There's a girl I've never seen here before. I kinda know the faces of everybody I've ever seen in this park. She wasn't in my brain's database. Although I didn't realize that I've been staring at her for a long time already. A good 15 seconds probably.

Oh, God! She's looking back at me. It's very embarrassing. She might have thought I'm a creep or something. Then I realized that she's cute. I tried to glance at her every now and then. I wanted to sit beside her and introduce myself but yeah, I'm not good with socialization.

All I wanted to do that moment was approach her and tell her how pretty she is. How I wanted to get to know her. How stellar she looked when the sun illuminates her being. Like she was being drowned by sunlight yet beauty shine through. This was just supposed to be a normal day for me. I was supposed to be bored, not be startled or whatever. I wanted to tell her that she kinda lit up a boring world. As if she brought life to this lifeless life. (If that even made sense) I wanted to tell her much but I never did say.

My tongue always gets in the way. As usual.

So I got up from the bench and I started to walk home. I simply suck at this.