#phillywrites

[h00droyalty]

i guess, one day I turned around and realized the fire had settled. it took me everything not to start it again, and oh god, i wanted to. however, I put the matches down when i noticed the ashes had different names on them. in that moment, i learned I was the fire. i burned through every last one of my lovers. funny how i never saw the right one.

[summersideupagain]

3 years

Girl 1: "I'm sorry. Friends?"

3 years. Maybe more.

3 years. I was devastated for 3 years. I was angry, sad, exhausted, empty, broken. I know it might sound ridiculous but I was. Nothing recurred to me but what I felt about her. 

Girl 1: "We can't talk as much as we usually do."

How she made me feel. How she swept me off of my feet. How all those nicknames was very special to me.

Girl 1: "I started going out with him and he wouldn't like it"

I was already there. Apparently, she got there. Just not the same place.

3 years. Too long of a time to get over and recover right? Maybe yes. Maybe not. I was so in love but I still had sense of the world I was living in.

I was in love but grounded to the fact that I had a job and schooling to juggle.

Girl 1: "Maybe there's someone else for you."

I thought I'd just get over this in a bit. A few months passed and I felt okay again. I thought I was okay. 

Things remind you of someone and then you'll be broken again. I thought I needed a stronger glue for this.

They told me to look for a new one. I prayed for someone to come into my life.

Girl 2: "Hi."

Me: "Hi."

3 years. Now someone new is here.

I know she is someone special. Her eyes. Her smile. Her aura. I know this one's different. Food, movies, books. We get each other. I'm going to take you places you've never been. You're gonna tell me things I don't know.

There so much that may happen.

Friend 1: "So... how's it going with you two?"

Everyone's excited.

3 years. I met someone new. She is amazing but I am unsure. Something is bothering me. Something I can't explain.

Me: "Taking it slow."

I thought I was ready. I prayed for you to cross my path one day.

Now you're here I am not certain. Maybe because it's been three years. I don't know how it feels anymore. Just please give me more time.

Girl 2: "Thank you. You made this night wonderful."

3 years.