[the-denial-diaries]

He decided that I don’t get to pleasure him anymore. No touching him, no anal, no oral. In the past, at least I could be of use to him by presenting my holes. He said that’s too much pleasure for me now.

Instead, he trained me to be excited over licking up his messes off the floor. I couldn’t even look at him pleasure himself, I couldn’t even hear it. I’d be blindfolded. I’d just feel his foot shove my face into the ground, and I’d know to lick eagerly. To thank him like my life depended on it. To thank him like his cum gave me purpose. I mean, it basically did. My only usefulness was cleaning up.

One day, he decided I earned a “reward.” I was in his bedroom, with him naked and hard sitting on his bed. Next to a stunningly beautiful woman. He slid the blindfold over my eyes but I could still hear them.

“You don’t get to watch, but you will get to listen. If you clean us up well after, she might give you a kiss on your cage. That’s more than enough pleasure for you, don’t you think?”

(writing credits to our favorite sadist @sundered-sadist for collaborating on this extra mean idea)

[sundered-sadist]

Denial can mean a lot of things. Sure, orgasm denial, no-touch, or anal-only. To truly be denied though, to truly give up all sexual control, that’s entirely different.

It means constant chastity. It means no sex, no anal, not even oral. It means that your sexual frustration purely exists, and only exists to entertain others. But, eventually, that frustration gets boring.

Someday, I might decide that I need two people in chastity. A tight cage for a cock that should be fucking all the hot girls, and a snug belt for a desperately wet pussy. They’ll exist to further each other’s frustration, to push each other deeper and deeper into denial, into desperation. I’ll shock you using a shock collar, and I’ll laugh as you slowly get more and more wet. He’ll be stuck, forced to watch you be played with but unable to touch you, please you, or lick you.

After long enough, I’ll decide that you both need oral training. The catch is, you’ll only ever be allowed to clean up the dripping mess from the other. I’ll make him lay under you as you get shocked, mouth open. He’ll be purely to serve as a cleaner, the only time he’ll ever use his mouth is to clean up your desperately dripping pussy. The only time he even gets close to a pussy is yours, tightly sealed away by steel.

But of course, I’ll grow tired of that too. So I will make you beg and beg to blow his caged cock. Maybe I’ll relent, but you’ll be there, mouth open and tongue out, catching all the precum that he can’t help but drip out of his cage. And I’ll sit and watch, making you both clean up each other back and forth.

By the end of it, you’ll be thanking me over and over and over for letting you “blow” him. For letting you be useful, and for letting you end your oral denial, just a bit. Soon enough, cleaning each other will be the reward in of itself. Denied caged sluts don’t get pleasure, denial sluts don’t even get to provide oral. The best they get is to clean up one another’s desperation, for my amusement.

[sundered-creature]

today marks one year of being His, one year owned, one year denied for Him.

one year. when i put it like that it sounds both small and enormous. a whole orbit of days and nights where everything i am has been slowly reshaped by Him. this past year has been centering His pleasure, feeling His control, and learning how constant my neediness could become.

there were chapters in the middle of this year where our rhythm shifted, life happened, things quieted. being denied through that time became my anchor. it kept me tethered to Him even through the noise of everyday life. the absence of our usual rituals made me ache in new, more concentrated ways, and my neediness for Him intensified in a way i didn’t even know was possible.

this year we also started training my ass, something i was so scared of and have grown (mostly) accustomed to. being plugged is a small, constant reminder of Him, it turns ordinary moments into acts of devotion. i crave His control, i ache to be seen by Him, used by Him, shaped by Him. my denial, my obedience, my submission, they are the most precious parts of me.

this year of being denied for Him has changed the shape of my mind. i never think about orgasms for myself anymore, my thoughts are always centered around His pleasure. each day denied has made me more desperate for Him. the ache is devotion, worship.

it feels silly to say i’m proud of this year, mostly i’m grateful. grateful to be denied for Him, to be His, to be molded into the perfect submissive for Him, because He doesn’t deserve anything less. every moment of denial rewires me into someone more pliant, more desperate for His guidance, more certain of my place. i don’t long for release, i long for Him.

one year denied, one year owned. one year more subby, more obedient, more His🩵

[sundered-sadist]

I really like this idea of a foursome, but it’s split.

You see, two of the involved people are pathetic, needy, denied sluts. All locked away in a cock cage and chastity belt, dripping with desire. Denied for months without orgasm. The other two are myself, and another awfully mean sadist.

Instead of everyone sharing one another, the two chastity sluts would be forced to mirror the dominants. Our cock caged friend would receive a strap on, and be told to fuck the girl in chastity’s “pussy”, exactly how I fuck the actual person.

The chastity submissives would have no choice about how they fuck, they would mirror every single motion and move of the dominants. Every thrust, every kiss, every slap, every position. Even the pace of my thrusting, all mirrored.

At some point, she’d move to suck my cock. Obviously, the chastity girl would suck the strap on, and the caged guy would be moaning and thanking us for the blowjob. Eventually, I’d cum, so he’d be forced to beg to fake an orgasm with his pathetic strap. She’d be forced to fake an orgasm too, to tell him that his cock is so big, that he just filled her with so much cum. They’d be forced to pretend it was just as fulfilling as the two dominants actually enjoying it.

And of course, both subs would be required to clean us up fully. They’d be locked away in a cage together, fully denied and dripping. Desperate for the next chance to “fuck”.

[sundered-sadist]

It’s like you wormed into my brain and said all the fucked up things I love to hear in your response to my ask. To be broken down and remade into something useful is all a girl can dream of. Who needs a brain when you were made to listen and obey

Brains are a lot of work, and people like you are simply burdened by having to use one.

It’s easier to edge, easier to listen to your superiors, and easier to serve. We all know it feels better that way too.

[sundered-creature]

sometimes i forget that i used to have orgasms🩵

[sundered-sadist]

And you probably never will again.

[sundered-creature]

today marks six months denied for Him. half a year. i remember the beginning, how nervous i was about the idea of never being allowed to cum again. i’ve come to realize just how deep my denial for Him goes, just how much it has shaped me as a submissive for Him, how it continues to shape me. every day that i’m denied, i feel myself becoming more and more dedicated to Him. my neediness translates directly into a desire to serve Him and please Him and it continues to grow stronger and stronger.

my physical neediness is still there, of course, it always will be. but it’s more than that. it’s about what being denied for Him has done to my mind, my submission. i am constantly needy for Him, His control, His attention. the longer i’m denied for Him, the more i realize how much of myself i’ve given to Him, how i’ve become so attuned to Him and His desires that it’s impossible to think about anything else. i crave to serve Him more, to be His in every way.

i craved release more at first, but now…now, it’s like that part of me has been reshaped. every time i edge for Him, i feel a deeper connection to Him. being denied for Him has become such a major aspect of my life, and of course it’s essential to our dynamic, it brings me closer to Him. it’s not about wanting release anymore, it’s about learning to give myself to Him completely.

with every day of denial, i grow more devoted, more subby, more obsessive over His needs, His commands. it’s made me need Him more than i thought possible and i love every second of it. i’m constantly desperate, not to cum, but for Him. desperate to serve Him, to please Him, to worship Him, to be denied for Him forever and ever.

six months of being denied and i feel more connected to Him than ever. my mind is constantly focused on Him, it’s like i’ve become addicted to His control, to His presence, to being molded into the perfect toy for Him. my denial is a reminder that i belong to Him, that i’m the luckiest sub in the world.

i hardly ever think about my own orgasms anymore, only His, always His. i’ve grown to love the idea that i’ll never cum again, i don’t want to, i find comfort in being denied for Him. being denied for Him keeps me on edge, and edging for Him makes me fuzzier and needier and drippier and subbier and more malleable for Him. the last thing i would ever want is for one silly little orgasm to destroy all the hard work He’s put into helping me be the best sub i can be for Him.

i’m so grateful and lucky to have spent the past six months denied for Him, and i hope to spend every day that comes remaining denied and continuing to fall deeper and deeper into my submission for Him.🩵

[sundered-sadist]

Six months indeed. Six months with a set of plugs, a remote control vibrator, as well as near-constant communication and protocol. That’s all it takes to break someone down, to turn them into a deeply devoted toy.

Ever so slowly, I’ve turned this creature into a toy. My toy.

Of course, there’s only so much you horny tumblr scrollers see. You don’t see the deep, dedicated effort that the toy gives me every single day. Or the thoughtful, caring messages we exchange all the time. Or even the difficulties that come with being denied so consistently.

The thing is, that effort makes the whole thing work. The constant effort to stay denied, to improve, to push oneself, to sink deeper into control and submission. That is what creates such a dedicated form of desperation and power.

I’m very lucky to call this one my denied toy, perhaps even my indefinitely denied toy. Clearly, the results speak for themselves. As the toy says, why let one little orgasm ruin all that devotion and effort? Toy is much more suited for denial, I don’t think that’ll ever change.

I’m looking forward to continue exploring the depths of the power exchange toy, just to see how far that little brain will go.

[sundered-sadist]

You don’t deserve to cum.

Your orgasms are a waste of time.

Your pleasure is irrelevant.

You’re meant to edge.

Edging keeps you pliant.

Your purpose is to be desperately horny.

Your dripping mess entertains others.

Your brain deserves to stay empty.

You’ll never cum again.

[sundered-sadist]

Lately, I’ve had this idea of using someone as foreplay. Being a sex toy is fun and all, but I think it adds another layer of degradation to be used only for foreplay. Not even letting someone be used to provide direct pleasure to others.

Think about it, two sadists want to have some fun, but they don’t want to hurt each other. So, they pull you out of your cage in the basement, dragging you up to their room by your hair.

They’ll take turns beating you, humiliating you, shocking you, making you cry, and making fun of your denial. They’ll inspire each other to be more mean to you, offering suggestions on how to increase your suffering even further. They’ll laugh at the drippy mess you can’t help but making, even though it hurts so much. Maybe one will straddle you and pin you down so you can’t squirm while the other canes you relentlessly.

Eventually, they’ll both be horny and ready to spend time with each other. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll be left under the bed or in the closet, listening to them being all intimate and soft with each other. Maybe you’ll just be waiting in your cage until next time. Toys do need to be put away after all.

[sundered-sadist]

For Valentine’s Day, I’d send you an itinerary of the whole day I planned for us. You’ll show up, dressed your best, flowers (I prefer peonies, for all you detail-oriented creatures out there) and candy in hand for me.

I’d let you inside, where you’ll promptly worship my boots and if you entertain me enough, maybe I’ll let you hump them. You’ll trim my flowers, place them in a vase, and come join me in the kitchen.

We’d pop open a bottle of wine to share, with you unaware of the drugs in your glass. I’ll take my time enjoying my glass of wine, and watch the drugs wash over you.

You’ll wake up in the basement, bound to a chair in the dark, with only a tiny blinking red light to let you know I’m watching you. You could try to shout, but electrical toys hooked up to a mic will quickly prevent that. Eventually, you’ll see the red light stop blinking. You’ll hear a door open behind you, but won’t be able to see me.

I’ll take my time, methodically beating you, prodding you, choking you. You’ll be a sputtering mess, still fighting to stay as quiet as you can to avoid those shocks. I’ll cut your lovely outfit off of you, replacing it with shackles, a head harness, a posture collar, and black out contacts.

You’ll end up outside in a tiny, cramped cage. Completely unaware of your surroundings, but terrified to make a sound. I’ll watch from my reading chair inside, finishing our bottle and enjoying the flowers. Happy Valentine’s Day dummy, you should’ve realized you’ll never celebrate a normal one again.

[sundered-creature]

i want a cage.

i think about it all the time. i want a cozy cage in the corner of His room with soft blankets and fairy lights and my teddy and when He tells me to go to my room we both know that’s where i’ll go. i want a dark cage tucked away in His closet where it’s all pitch black besides the little flashing red light from the camera He may or may not be watching while i lie there as curled up as i can be with my ankles and wrists chained to the cages bars, completely unaware of how much time is passing. i want a small cold cage in His garage or in the back yard, all cold and exposed to natures elements, forced to be uncomfortable in the small space for as long as He chooses to leave me out there, comforted by knowing that He’s enjoying the warmth and coziness inside.

i really really want a cage, i think about it all the time🩵

[sundered-sadist]

Being bathed is a service I greatly enjoy. Those tender, quiet moments with warm water, a nice candle lit, and a good drink.

The problem is, that means you also get to experience a nice warm bath. Something like that should only be an exceptionally rare treat for you.

Lucky for you, there’s an easy solution. I’ll chain you up outside in the cold, naked and shivering. You’ll have a lovely view of the bathroom window, where you’ll get to watch me undress and get ready for my shower. Of course, that’ll only last a few minutes. Eventually steam will cloud the window, and you’ll be forced to watch as you know I’m enjoying a nice hot shower. I’ll take my time, not even considering your discomfort. I’ll take my time drying off, dressing, and warming up too.

Only then will I step outside to hose off your filthy body, being sure to step on you as I please, choke you with your chains, and slap you around. Why would a creature like you ever deserve a privilege like a hot bath? Besides, it’ll only be more fun next time when you watch someone else tenderly wash me.

[sundered-sadist]

At a certain point, your denial isn’t enough. Sure, you can edge, drip, shake, and fight off that orgasm. We can watch the denial counter go up. The months, years, pass by. Eventually it’ll be boring to me. Eventually you’ll forget what an orgasm is.

When that day comes, you’ll be strictly kept to no touching. I’ll lock that drippy thing up in chastity, and I’ll monitor you closely every time you’re unlocked. Your ass and throat will become all that I use, and your pathetic wet mess will become irrelevant.

But, that can be boring eventually as well. Once you forget what an orgasm is, once you forget what masturbating is, what edging is, I’ll have another twist for you.

We’ll make it a rule that the only time that you’re allowed to touch is when you’re being cucked. I’ll bind you to a chair in the corner, gag you, put a posture collar on you, and tie one arm behind your back. You’ll be forced to watch me lovingly give someone else pleasure, watch them cum over and over. You’ll be forced to masturbate to it.

I want you so desperate for some shred of pleasure that you willingly face those feelings of shame, humiliation, and objectification. I want you to get off on your own inadequacy, to face how good it feels to just touch a little bit. Of course, as you get close to the edge, I’ll cattle prod you repeatedly and have you clean up my partners. Your pleasure doesn’t exist, and it never will again once you start denial with me.

[sundered-sadist]

Sorry for all the spam but your writing is absolutely fantastic. The psychological sadism is so different than what you usually see here on tumblr and it’s amazing. Definitely making my denial worse so thanks for that! 😂 Hope you have a lovely day!

I appreciate the kind words.

It wouldn’t be denial if it wasn’t difficult, but amusing for everyone else. Be sure to focus on staying needy and pathetic through the new year.

[sundered-sadist]

I've been getting into long(er than usual)-term edging recently, today is my 1 week mark, and I really need motivation. Can you give me one or ten reasons why I should keep being denied?

First, I’d recommend asking nicely and using manners in the future. I generally prefer using more personalized reasons, but you denial sluts are pretty easy to convince.

1. It’s selfless. Your orgasms are purely self-fulfilling and detract from the pleasure of others around you. Denial is a step towards serving others.

2. It’s addicting. As much as you say you struggle with denial, as you push yourself to stay denied for longer, you’ll learn edging is all you need. One quick edge turns into an hour of edging, and you can’t get enough.

3. It’s useful. By maintaining consistent edges, you open yourself up to more depraved, embarrassing experiences. Things you swore off suddenly become interesting, and that makes you more useful for others.

4. It’s productive. Keeping yourself in that heightened, needy state is a form of self-training and regulation. All that work you put into being a desperate mess saves dominants like myself the effort of getting you to that state. You’ll be desperately sensitive, throbbing, constantly reminded of your dominant.

5. It’s challenging. As fun as it can be, edging and long-term denial is hard. Then again, why do you deserve the easy route? Your purpose is to suffer and struggle.

6. It’s rewarding. That pride you felt after making it one week denied? Just think how much better and more accomplished you’ll feel one month in, then 3 months in.

7. It’s non-stop. Denial will start to seep into your daily life. After long enough, your mind will start thinking of edging during any downtime. It’ll be harder to leave a submissive, needy headspace.

8. It’s loyalty. What better way to display your submission and dedication to a dominant than swearing off such a powerful, direct form of pleasure? Denial helps you stay true to the power exchange.

9. It’s confusing. Eventually, their pleasure is your pleasure. You won’t really understand why, but every time they cum, it’ll just feel so, so good to you. Their satisfaction will become even more important to you, one of the only important things to you. You don’t need to know why, you only need to know it feels good.

10. It’s degrading. You truly are a depraved creature. You know this, we all know it too. You don’t get normal sex, you get used.

11. It’s a privilege. You’re lucky to receive such dedicated, frequent attention from your denial. You could go on, cumming as you like and exercising free will, but that doesn’t satisfy you. You need this, and it’s a privilege to stay denied for those better than you.

Are you feeling motivated, anon?

[sundered-sadist]

That drippy thing between your legs isn’t your pussy, not anymore. Proper cunts get fucked, and yours will absolutely not experience that.

It’s there for me to torture, kick, edge, and abuse. It’s there to entertain me, to amuse me. Its value outside of that is zero.

I’m not interested in it, and we barely talk about it anyways. So, let’s stop calling it your pussy. We can edge and beat that logic into you, no matter how long it takes.

When I tell you I’m in the mood to fuck your pussy, I want to see your eyes briefly light up before remembering your pussy isn’t that needy, achey thing. I want to watch you remember that I mean a fleshlight, and you’ll dutifully hold it for me so I can properly fuck your new pussy. If you do a good job, I might even let you clean it up with your mouth.

[sundered-sadist]

Hot blog. Can’t figure out if i want to be you or be fucked by you