Fandom, Fics and more

Personal blog for collecting references, reblogging fandom stuff, posting fics and more (I won't respond to replies on this one since it's not my main blog and tumblr is dumb that way)

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[sunflowernyx]

Been spending the year in art school, and I cannot count how many times a teacher who was also a man told me that I couldn't do something, which I perfectly well knew I'd be able to do.

They didn't offer advice. They didn't try to show me a faster or better way of doing something. They just told me I couldn't do it.

And I didn't think about it until recently, but it tripped me up and it stressed me out. And now it pisses me off, because these men made assumptions about my ability because I was a woman.

Now I'm stressing out two weeks before a deadline because I was too blinded by patriarchal authority to say "fuck it" and do it anyway, in time. And now I'm doing it anyway, with no time.

And all I can say is: this won't change anytime soon. They will continue to assume you're disabled because you're a woman, without doublechecking their presumptions, without trying to help. Because most of these types of men don't want women to succeed.

So to hell with them, and do it anyway.

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

In case y'all didn't see it: some Japanese fans on twt think that the formation of Loid's inner dialouge in the og version of the chapter (which has the text in a sort of crossword formation) can spell out 'Love' !!!!!!! (+other important things that got lost in translation)

すき = suki = liking someone romantically! Totally not screaming my head off or anything! The link to the og tweet is here, worth checking out as more discussion happens in the replies!

(Oh and bonus, they tried finding the word 'love' in english too, which is slightly sillier but still worth noting lmao)

Additionally, another fan (@yumeka-sxf on tumblr!) pointed out a VERY IMPORTANT distinction within Loid's thoughts that got lost in translation, that being around the use of the word "sacrifice" !

This is super important bc rather than juxtaposing "for the sake of the safety of my family" with "for the sake of my mission sacrifice my family" (which is insane), it actually places the words "sacrifice myself" in between "for my family" (text above it) and "for the mission" (text below it)... implying Loid is torn between whether he put himself in danger in the studio for the sake of the mission or for the sake of his family.

(Or, if you're insane like me, you can also take the crazy route and interpret this as foreshadowing on him one day having to choose between sacrificing himself for his family or sacrificing himself for the mission, but let's not go there just yet.)

anyway, INSANE how much got lost in translation, and since I'm just parroting what other people are saying if anyone else that actually speaks Japanese wants to chime in lmk!! But overall I think I'm gonna die.

[sunflowernyx]

This was too good not to dig my teeth into!

Okay some clarifying vocabulary here:

"任務" can mean mission, duty, role or task

"捨てる" can mean to discard, throw away, or cast away (and only "sacrifice" like you sacrifice a chess/go piece)

"自分" refers to the "self", one's self, sense of self or identity

So there's a lot of fun stuff going on in this and Endo is a genius. Here goes: First line isn't that interesting. It just states "for the sake of my mission my safety is [sentence cuts off, but implies 'most important']"

Buuuut next sentence has rhythm with this but changes so:

The fact Loid uses a word for "mission" that can also mean "duty" [IE is it duty to his mission, his country or his family??] is underlined by Endo in the first section of this where "for the sake of my mission" and "for the sake of my family" criss-cross - so the word for "mission" is implied to mean "duty [to my family]". So second line is closer to "For the sake of my family I have to throw my self away, but"

See what I mean about double meanings being important?

There's an implication here that the self that is twilight has to be discarded for the sake of Loid's family.

No matter what OP says, however, there is a phrase that puts "family" into an object construction using the particle を. But it is ridiculously cut up and like the former sentence ends on a "but". It goes

"For the sake of my mission - I must throw away - my family - but"

And then it ends on four lines that just goes "for the sake of my duty/mission". Which, again, can mean both his duty to his family as Loid or his duty to his mission as Twilight"

Buuuuut the second to last one has the first kanji in "mission" cut out, and the kanji that remains "務" means, more clear cut, "employment" or "to fill a [work] position". So the second to last sentence implies

"for the sake of remaining as a spy".

Before cutting back to "for the sake of my duty"

So it feels like there's a massive internal battle with the [to put it frankly] brainwashing Twilight went through during his spy training going on here. Much more than even the English language translation could smoothly convey.

AND

IT feels like the "Self" that is Twilight is being consumed by the "self" that is Loid, and that Loid who loves his family is becoming a real person. And I find that veeeeeery interesting

[sunflowernyx]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Mulder isn’t used to seeing the boy in winter whites.

It’s what tips him off to the fact he isn’t dreaming, when he opens the door to Farr’s Corner to the beginning of a Virginian winter storm and finds a six year old staring up at him with uncanny blue eyes.

He still closes the door, convinced he’s hallucinating.

That look.

Those eyes.

He’s seen them before, more than fifteen years ago. Curiosity, scepticism and fear sparkling in blue lightning. As if they’re trying to tear him apart and figure out what he is.

The hallucination knocks again.

“I’m cold.”

His voice is high-pitched and boyish, prissy and bossy, exactly like his mother.

And Mulder opens the door again to the impending storm.

“Sorry,” he says, letting William in. “What are you doing out here, kid?”

As the boy passes him on suspiciously dry sneaker-clad feet, Mulder casts his eyes out across the snows. No tracks. No snow on the porch from stomping feet. No trace that he had walked through the snow. Either he’d been out there for a while, or—

“My name isn’t William,” comes that sullen, bossy little voice again. “It’s Jackson Van de Kamp and I teleported here.”

Mulder can’t help it. He laughs. Between the quick correction and the name, it feels like the fates have really and truly thrown his and Scully’s son right back into his life. Of course, he’d been given a new name when he’d been adopted. Of course, he’d been given the perfect name for who he is.

Jackson, son of no one.

His mother’s battle ready spirit in the same language as Mulder’s own family name.

“Of course you did,” he says.

“I mean it!”

He grins and kneels in front of his son.

“Let me see your face,” he says, placing both palms against Jackson’s cold cheeks.

The boy stares defiantly back at him, his blue eyes shooting lightning with fury.

“Don’t worry, kid,” he re-assures him. “I believe you. It’s Scully you have to prove this sort of thing to.”

[its-sweet-like-cinnamon]

The Jersey Devil || s. 1 ep. 4

[wonder-xphile]

I watched Wetwired last night. There are quite a few episodes that I haven’t watched in years, so I forget some details. Sometimes I see something that I cannot believe I didn’t have committed to memory.

Case in point: how cute is Mulder in Scully’s motel room? It’s a great image! He looks so comfortable and ridiculously at home.

[bisexualfbiagents]

THE X FILES | Fight the Future (1998)

[sunflowernyx]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s only as he comes flying back to her side that it occurs to him; biology and genetics are a stupid way to define family. It doesn’t matter who Samantha’s father was because she was still Fox’ sister. It doesn’t matter what his mother’s intentions were. Or even who his own father is.

William had claimed him. He had claimed him in life. He had claimed him out of time and space.

And he has always been Scully’s Mulder.

So there is no question of who he is, even when he has been the Fox of others. Owned, leashed and then abandoned. It doesn’t matter.

The way he forgets to tell all others of his victory in his rush to return to her. The way he settles into the chair at her side, thrilled and excited to share his tale. The way he just couldn’t wait. That’s his proof. He is hers, unconditionally. It’s all a choice, whom we belong to. And Mulder will always choose Scully.

“Blevins?” She says, her eyebrows going up, impressed and considering it.

He grins. “You said it yourself, Scully,” he says, biting down on a sunflower seed with relish. “He’s been in a position to know everything from the very beginning.”

She exhales. Lifts her head to face the ceiling and closes her eyes. And then she laughs. Her face falls into the pillow hiding her front. She laughs again.

“What?” He demands, grabbing her around the ankle and tugging gently to get her attention. For once his voice trembles with laughter rather than grief.

The answer is on her face when she turns towards him. Her cheek presses into the pillow cutely. She’s relieved.

“For once I’m so grateful to your crazy stunts,” she says.

“And that this one paid off?”

He feels thirteen again, giddy and mischievous, full of bubbly energy at her relief. She’s relieved — for him. They won’t be separated now. He fought to be allowed to remain by her side, and he won.

He won.

“Who does that?” She laughs. “Who names their boss so impulsively and then manages to topple half the FBI with him? You’re insane, Mulder.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he quips gleefully.

Only with her is it a compliment. Only ever with Scully.

[mvlderfox]

5x11 // Killswitch

[redandpointy]

I wish you would write a fic where...

Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)

[mvlderfox]

"...you're not taking this seriously." // "I'm taking it seriously. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first catch back on the X-Files. This isn't an X-File." // "Sure it is. It's unexplained. What do you want, aliens? Tractor beams?" // "Wow. Admit it. You just want to play house."

[sunflowernyx]

/victory pose

Finished the last chapter of Long Way to a Rosy Dawn. Still missing the epilogue (cause it was getting too long), but we're basically done!

Gonna let the USians enjoy their holiday before I upload ch 3 tomorrow~

[sunflowernyx]

cinematography

[thursdayinspace]

This moment. This kiss. The amount of things going on here. It packs such a punch. This is a turning point, and this is an instance where they are not communicating their true feelings and know about it. Because what they need to say is simply too difficult. They are well aware of the cracks in their relationship, but they love each other too damned much to deal with them. Which is so human. I mean, do I like the fact that they're heading towards separation? Of course not. Do I buy it? Absolutely.

They have been through so much. Trauma heaped upon trauma. Death, death scares, abductions, the loss of their child, everything they've seen and done. On top of that now, there is his isolation. Nobody can carry somebody else's happiness on their shoulders all on their own. It breaks you. It's too much. But those two have always been there for each other. Always. And the very fact that they only have each other means they can't acknowledge the fragility of what they have, not even their own fragility, because they're aware of the other one's wounds and don't want to burden them with theirs, for fear of breaking the only thing they have.

And at this point, they know they have been quiet for too long. They have arrived at a point where talking simply won't fix it anymore. And what is so painful about that is that they love each other more than ever. All of that is in this moment. He tells her they can go away, just the two of them. He's begging her to stay, to turn their backs on everything and start over. She looks at him like she wants to believe him so badly, wants to believe that they can run from the darkness.

That kiss is so heartbreaking and beautiful because it's hope and despair at the same time. He's telling her that he knows things are broken between them, but they're still them, they've always made it through everything together. And she's telling him that this isn't them anymore. She wants to stay, but she just can't see how. The one thing they agree on: they don't want this to end.

The way she's crying into the kiss. The way he is so gentle with her. It looks like a kiss goodbye from her, and from him it looks almost like a wedding kiss, as if he'd just promised her forever. And in a way, he has. And in a way, she has too. It's an affirmation of love, of undying devotion, and of clinging with all their strength to something that they can feel slipping away.

They are still so desperately in love with each other, and they can't imagine being apart for even just a day. But the sad truth is that love is not always enough. They have taken terrible care of themselves. Just like you're supposed to put on your own oxygen mask first in the event of a loss of cabin pressure, you have to take care of your own well-being if you want to be able to take care of somebody else. They need each other like they need air. But they also can't go on like this.

I firmly believe that post-revival, they will be together forever. They will get their happy ending. But after everything they've been through and after years of pretending like they can take care of themselves and each other, it makes sense for them to arrive at this point. And still it is heartbreaking to see. They are it for each other. They're each other's person. But sometimes, that is not enough. (And sometimes, you still find your way back to each other and finally find a way to make it work. And they will.)

[sunflowernyx]

Are we ever going to talk about the fact the X Files have two whole episodes dedicated to a A Midsummer Night's Dream case and Mulder and Scully represent the two characters, Lysander and Demitrius, who are already in love?

[sunflowernyx]

💖

Thank you!

For this ask game

💖 What made you start writing?

I was 12. My mother didn't want me to laze around all summer so she set me up with a class at the local library, put me on a bus, and it created a habit.

[sunflowernyx]

fandoms need to look more at acting when it comes to interpreting behaviour and not just at scripts. 80% of a film is visual storytelling, friends!

There's acting and storyboards and colour scripts. There's so much more.

[cristinaricci]

THE X-FILES ↳ 6.15 | Arcadia