sfg♡

♡ oldie but a goodie ♡

[sunfriedginger]

Hey everyone, I'm a level 2 autistic woman who's trying to but a train ticket and Uber to go see my mom. I live in California she lives in Arkansas, thats over 1k miles apart.

We haven't seen each other in 6 years and now that she's getting a divorce from my dad, our relationship has been repaired. He wasn't a good guy. I'm trying to raise 380 to get a train ticket and Uber from union station to my mom in Arkansas. If anyone can help, share or donate I'd he very grateful.

https://gofund.me/44fe0046f

[sunfriedginger]

It's been so long since I posted here I completely forgot how far beyond y'all were...

Theres been so much change and learning. I got my diagnosis and I'm still going through those feelings. Why didn't anyone notice it sooner? Why didn't any of the doctors actually do their jobs? I'm grateful to know now but still hurt.

[sunfriedginger]

Me knowing if I throw some cash at them for the break up they'll leave me be because they're greedy and would rather choose money then making me move.

Them struggling with telling me to leave because they want extra money to fuck around with but don't want to see me every day.

Don't get me wrong it's both bothersome and annoying that I have to exploit peoples weaknesses to survive here, I don't LIKE doing it but it's either this or move back home. Is it really exploitation if I gathered this information after a 7 year relationship? Yes, probably.. Possibly. Probably. The whole family is like this though, I'd be paying rent to stay in the spare room. No more of this shitty situation I'd be free. Free enough.

But he'd have to see me every day and I know that'd be hell for him. That I don't care about, I also don't give a fuck if seeing me go out with other people would bother him. I'd encourage him to go out himself, I'm over all of this shit.

[sunfriedginger]

These 2 weeks have been anxiety filled and tomorrow is mother's Day...

I guess I'll make myself dinner and be sad all day

[makrustic]

Nostalgia and the Nicer Things ⭐ 'I think today is just a good day' Prints | Ko-fi | Patreon | Bluesky

[makrustic]

The Gentle Push 'I'm the air at your back— You can do it.' Prints | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Bluesky

[sunfriedginger]

I need this to come through..

I've been the only one to pull us out of the mud and remain a good partner. He's pushed me and pushed me but here I am..

WHEN i get this, I am going to make a good life for MYSELF. Im tired of being the protector and provider and lover for someone who only takes and allows others to dim my light.

I wanted a traditional life, I wanted to be the one being taken care of and running a household. I never wanted to be the provider and fill that role. I built my entire life around that.

But if I'm gonna continue to be out in the opposite position I'm gonna leave and just do it without the attachment of a man on my side.

If you're not willing or able to do YOUR JOB then I will do it on my own without you.

[sunfriedginger]

Funny how I say I'm lonely and you just ring off several reasons why you think I shouldn't be lonely.. alright. Don't worry..

[sunfriedginger]

Getting body shamed by these people shouldn't hurt but it does

Maybe it's because I'm going through a cycle right now, but the food comments hurt. I haven't eaten well in 3 days, banana bread is not a good diet for diabetes and neither is strictly hot dogs but it's alright.

I made dinner tonight. Unfortunately, I won't be able to eat or enjoy eating any of it.. I hate my body and I hate the people who've made me hate it even more..

I'm just gonna cry and sleep instead.

[sunfriedginger]

As much as I want to be desired, lusted and loved after, craved, it won't happen.

We haven't been in the age of yearning for a long time, but still that's what my soul needs.

Like a sick joke, I wasn't made to be alive at this point it has never felt appropriate.

I feel like a puzzle piece that fell into the wrong box with a completely different puzzle, i don't have a place here but had this overwhelming need to find it.

Loneliness seems much easier to deal with these days...

[vpandav]

Rabbit Ballet

[sunfriedginger]

🩰

[ellohcee]

Luster

[makrustic]

Commissions Update! Wanting to do more art and making my art more affordable to everyone, I've decided to lower my prices (atleast for the time of being). ⭐

I love making everyone's commissions, and I wanna let more people enjoy my work through their own ideas 🐦💗 Prints | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Bluesky More of my work below <3

[sunfriedginger]

Please be good to me..

[sunfriedginger]

I don't even wanna talk to anyone else if I'm honest.

Talking to him feels real and natural like I'm meant to do it. If I didn't get a text from him every day I'd be upset, it wouldn't be a good day, it wouldn't feel right.

I feel like i have to kick everything into over drive so I can leave and be with him.

He makes me want to.

He makes me want to be better, harder, if that makes sense.

Like a purpose.

Is it too much? It feels like it might be too much.

Idk... but i do know i want to do anything and everything i can to be with him.

[everythingfox]

[sunfriedginger]

"I want 4 wings, Cole slaw, 5 French fries and a sprite"

.... 5 FUCKING FRENCH FRIES