an unquiet mind

a collection of excerpts from a book i'll never write aka deejay's notebook

[sunnnet]

passion projects (a running list)

i just have a lot of ideas and things i am interested in about researching and writing in a hybrid sort of scholarly and personal way. these are some of the things so i do not forget about them

langston hughes & asexuality

anime and themes of colonization (japanese imperialism? neocolonialism?) spec attack on titan, naruto, atla

the modern stan as the evolved directioner

straight women & mlm ships

[sunnnet]

thee return of the queen

so much has happened in my life since i think i last posted. i am a rising senior in college now. i go to spelman and my life changed in so many ways since then. i have finally decided on what i want to achieve career wise and that feels good. for the time being, i am going to get my jd/phd in english. never thought i would be trying to get 2 graduate degrees and yet here i am. i am gonna take a gap year to go be a normal twenty something before i head into an intensive, 5-7 year long graduate study program. i hope i get to travel, get a car & learn to drive before grad school. i have undergone intensive psychiatric treatment for the past 7 months. we found out that we have bipolar ii and adhd. it just confirms what we have known for so long. 

so many things have stayed the same though. i still want a vw beetle. they dont make them anymore which sucks majorly but im gonna get the newest version of it (a 2019 which is less than 5 years old). i still havent had a major romantic relationship yet. it is both parts because i do not have the opportunity to pursue one but also because i am very mentally unstable at the moment. chickens coming home to roost really. 

i remember learning about being a demigirl in the 8th grade. i identified with that heavily but because i did not have super sophisticated language/ gender identity as i do now i did not think that i was that person. now i understand that i have been a demigirl this whole time. i use the term demiwoman because i am no longer a girl but the point still stands. i tell folks i am non-binary if thats the only other option, but if applications let me self-describe i do. i will always be a Black woman, but maybe moreso a Black womxn than a woman. it makes sense to me. gender is too oppressing and not expansive enough for any of us to be one thing really. a lot of the time i just see myself as floating within the feminine space  between divine feminity and genderless freedom. the feminine mystique if we would. 

[pr1nceshawn]

Bad Cats.

[cheetothecat]

OP, you fool. These are THE BEST CATS

[tooiconic]

Stanley is so chaotic I love him

[riebellion]

what y’all see vs what i see

im so happy that they did a photoshoot with a beautiful black woman. im shaking

[kevinkinky]

[325blazeit]

luke dating a woc | hc

a/n: i cannot get this idea out of my head and i have very little time to write something full out but i need to post this! i hope you read this post & it puts a smile on your lovely face and fills you with warmness. please reblog, like & feel free to add onto this or send me an ask to continue this!

warnings: chance of diabetes from the fluff, mentions of racism & people just being general close-minded dickheads???

Luke x FemWOC!Reader

Keep reading

[325blazeit]

just my type pt. ii (c.t.h)

in which the awkward beans grow a pair & tell each other how they really feel. also, older brothers/best friends/bandmates are annoying.

Calum Hood x Fem!Reader

read part 1 here

warnings: cursing (ofc), annoying ashton & awkwardness, kissing, also fluff so sweet it may cause diabetes

a/n: the second & final part to my first imagine! i got a bit carried away with the ending but not only is it trash, cheesy, toothachingly sweet, but it is also very long. if you liked the first part, i really hope you enjoy the ending! please reblog, like & request stuff for me to write in my askbox! thank you so much :)

“Calum?” the bewildered pair said in unison. One in shock, the other in panic and disbelief.

The trio stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before one brave soul decided to break the silence.

“I have to go get a new pot for that cactus before it dies. I’ll leave you two to it. Stay safe you crazy kids, and remember don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Ashton said as he rushed towards the front door with his car keys in tow. The older boy knew that if he didn’t give the couple the space they needed now, it would months before they could interact with each other again. (Also, he was never one for awkward interactions and did not need the secondhand embarrassment that it would bring him.)

“Ash, wait-” (Y/N) said as he shut the door behind him. She made a mental note to fuck with Ashton’s car engine when he got back.

Keep reading

[sunshinelukee-deactivated202507]

40 writing prompts based off things 5sos said

Just some random writing prompts based off things 5sos have said in interviews, tour diaries and cocktail chats

‘That’s the opposite of what I asked you to do’

'Hey… Love you guys!’

'What’s up baby?’

‘What are you smirking at?’

'This is the worst photo of me ever’

'We’re here in Amsterdam’

‘The camera’s falling over’

'I’m fucking terrified’

‘Just be nice and relaxed’

‘I’m pretty fucking hammered right now’

'What are you looking at?’

'Here we are, Japan’

‘I started a party ‘cause I got drunk’

‘It sends be back to my high school days’

'It’s just down the road’

'We’ve missed you guys, where have you been?’

'That joke fucking killed!’

‘I start using hand gestures now’

'Bet you can’t do this’

‘Honestly I love this band’

‘I’m not 6′4, I’m 6′2 at best I’d say’

‘I don’t even know what we’re doing’

'You look good’

‘I don’t wanna burn down the house’

'I don’t speak to the press’

'I’m gonna go home’

‘Sorry, it’s my mom calling’

'This is gonna be fucking awesome!’

'I’ll show you how to play drums’

'This is my favorite part of the night’

‘I’m a little drunk’

'Give it a rest’

‘I got poop on my shoe’

‘This really fell to pieces’

'We gotta hurry up’

‘You know what I’m talking about, right?’

‘I love this song, turn it up’

‘Can you believe I used to wear one of these every day?’

'You’re gonna be sick’

‘That’s a lie’

[starvationxa]

some of u bitches r trying your hardest to stay positive and hopeful despite all the bullshit you’ve been going thru and it really shows and i’m proud of u

[325blazeit]

just my type pt. i (c.h.)

A/N: hey guys this is my first imagine i have ever written ever! i had to go write this with cal because we all know i am calum trash! please be gentle with me, as i think it turned out ok for the first time! if you have any comments, critiques, or requests please send me stuff in my askbox! i wrote this instead of studying for my psych midterm in a couple hours because i am a fucking scholar! i hope you all really enjoy this piece.

warnings: minor cursing, diet angst & i think that’s it??

in which cal & reader are both awkward little beans who do not know how to deal with romantic attraction. pt. 1 of 2! 

Calum Hood x Fem!Reader, Platonic!Ash x Fem!Reader

You weren’t exactly sure when, why, or how you fell in love with Calum. It all must have started when Ashton first introduced the two of you at a house party hosted by Luke. You had met and really liked all of the boys before the party, and were really excited to finally meet the elusive bassist. After everything his bandmates told you, you had no doubt that he was just as amazing as they described him to be.

Keep reading

[325blazeit]

an announcement!

requests are open guys! you heard me, open!!!!!! send me an ask with a specific character and i will do it! on this blog, my writing blog (@sunnnet ) AND my wattpad ( https://www.wattpad.com/user/sunnets )!!! waste no time and send me your fluffy or angsty prompts!!!! what are you still doing reading this post, go send me some prompts! love you teacups!!!!! 

[sunnnet]

daily writings: ii

this is also on my wattpad (follow me, read & like my stuff)! i am sunnets on wattpad and i really am only writing these daily exercises for feedback on how to become a better writer, so with that being said please read this short story i wrote today and give me lots and lots of feedback because that is all i really want. cool? cool. enjoy the story

on the 21'st day of june in the year 2017

the one in which a child, a fanatic, a window, and something someone shouldn't have heard are all involved

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Horace had lived on the house on the hill for as long as he had remembered. He wasn't sure how old he was, he wasn't sure if other people lived near him and his mother, he wasn't even sure what exactly he looked like. His mother had always told him that looking in mirrors and taking photos were very vain things to do and since God would punish those who loved themselves too much, he had never done any of those activities. His mother was quite literally his whole world by default and the only person Horace had ever had a meaningful relationship with. He wasn't allowed to go outside and play with other people because his mother had always described the world as a "den of evil whom everyone is eventually consumed by". His mother rarely left the house, unless it was to go grocery shopping or go to work, but Horace was never allowed to go to either of those places.

It was one faithful and sunny spring afternoon that Horace's mom decided to leave because they needed some more food to last at least til the end of the week.

"Now Horace, I expect to see a clean house when I come back home. I should only be gone for about an hour or two and that should be plenty of time for the house to be sparkling when I come back. Remember my rules and Horace do not go outside!" she warned.

It was almost like she was reciting a list of her demands, it was the same speech she gave every time she left the house. But, Horace didn't mind and in the spirit of being obedient he nodded his head wistfully, as his eyes got lost in the mesmerizing sight outside of his window.

His mom used to read him a book when he was younger called Bambi and the cover art looked just like the outdoors right now. The trees seem to be standing with their chests out and their heads of leaves are straining to touch the sun. The forest is teeming with wildlife, butterflies fluttering about and little bunnies carelessly hopping around. It was a stark contrast to the cold, dark and dusty house that greeted Horace first thing in the morning and put him to bed in the dead of night.

This second of reprieve was not lost on his mother and in her high shrill voice she once again warned, this time with a threatening edge in her voice, "Do not go outside Horace, there are many dangerous people in the world and it would absolutely break me if you left. Remember Mommy loves you," there was a long pause before she finished her sentence and with great she stated,"and do not forget to do as you're told."

So, he did do what he was supposed to do... for a minute at least. It was after he had finished doing the dishes that the call was getting too strong for him to resist. Horace had always felt that the outside was always tempting him to leave his house and now it the pull was so forceful he almost couldn't resist it. Just as he was about to leave his living room to get back to work a hard white ball with red stripes around it demolished his window and rolled to Horace's foot, almost like it wanted Horace to throw it. He picked it up, careful not to touch the glass shards and stared at it. He had never felt something so dense and sturdy in his life and had never seen something like that before. He was so enraptured with the ball that he almost didn't hear the voice interrupting his trance.

"Hey, we are so sorry we messed up your window. I told my sister to not throw it so high but she didn't listen and it went straight through your window. Do you mind throwing the ball back to us?" a tall, lanky, boy asked.

The ball was now not the focus of Horace's attention but he was now intrigued by the tall boy and a little girl, staring sheepishly, behind his leg. They both reminded Horace of the brown teddy bear he had had from birth. The color of their skin was very similar to the bear's but both of them had tight dark brown coils of hair that framed their faces very well. The boy had cut off his curls on the sides of his hair whereas the girl let her hair grow freely, til it reached her chin. The both had the same dark brown eyes, full lips and high cheekbones and looked very alike. Horace was so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot what the tall boy asked him to do earlier and was very openly staring at the pair.

"Listen, my name's Tre and this is my little sister Desiree. We are real sorry about this and when your mom comes home we will have our parents meet so we can fix the window. We just really need that ball back, it's very special to us." the boy, Tre pleaded for the second time.

Horace, now fully snapped out of his reprieve was caught in a very tough place. He couldn't throw it out of the window again because it would only cause more glass to break but in order to give them the ball back he would have to go outside. He would have to break his mother's #1 rule and that excited and frightened him. He knew his mom didn't want him going outside but he figured that she would understand why he would have to and turned to go to his door. The wood was heavier than he imagined and it took all of his strength to push open the door but he did it.

His first step outside is something he will never forget. The sun seemed to bathe him in warmth and the damp grass tickled his feet with every step he took to move closer to the duo. The wind gave off a nice, cool breeze by the time he placed the ball in Tre's hands.

"Thanks so much little man! Would you like to play catch with me and my sister before you go back inside, you looked a little lonely in there all by yourself." the older boy offered, smiling down at Horace.

"Yeah it would be fun! Come play with us!" Desiree insisted, taking Horace by the hand and pulling him to go to her side, closest to the house.

Tre was about 50 feet away and the three played catch for a good minute. They were enjoying themselves but Tre felt that something was off about the boy. His curly brown hair was matted, his white shirt was too big and dirty, and he was unbelievably quite. He found it very strange that his house was in the middle of nowhere and he could almost guarantee no one in the small nearby town knew anything of the little boy or his mother. The boy was also unusually pale to the point where he was translucent.

"Hey, little man, we have been playing catch all day and you never gave us your name." Tre inquired, eyeing the little boy up and down.

Instead of answering the question, Horace looked down in shame, he thought his new friends didn't like him now.

"Hey it's ok, I just want to know your name if all three of us are going to be friends, that's all."

Horace's head perked up at that and he gave a goofy grin to Desiree, who started giggling.

"Y'know, you are really skinny and pale Horace. It looks like you've never been outside before. Have you ever been outside before?" Desiree joked, her eight year old mannerisms showing through.

"Of course he's been outside befo-" Tre was interrupted by Horace shaking his head "no" and looking down in shame.

The siblings exchanged equally shocked and concerned looks. Tre continued,"So like you've never been outside before? Do you have any friends? Do you go to school?"

Horace continued shaking his head "no" and looked at the ground awkwardly, embarrassed that his new friends had found out his secret. He knew he should have stayed inside the house.

Tre's big brother mode was now kicked into full gear. He knew he had to do something to help this kid out, the situation Horace lives in was at the very least, child negligence.

"HORACE!" a booming voice bellowed. They all turned around to see who that voice belonged to. They were all met with an image of a tall, thin woman who was pale and who's faced was twisted up into the same snarl cats give you when you dunk them in water. Horace commenced shaking, he knew his mother would be highly displeased with him when he got back in the house and he didn't want to leave Tre and Desiree behind.

Tre hid both Desiree and Horace behind his back and stood up to meet the willowy woman. Tre, towered over her, but her overall monstrous presence made him feel like he was two feet tall.

"I'm not sure what the hell you've been doing to your kid, but I'm taking him to the police station and we'll figure it out from there." Tre announced with feigned authority in his voice.

The woman started laughing maniacally for a good minute. Horace, who had never heard his mother laugh, was chilled to the core with the sound that just escaped her mouth. All three had confusion and fear painted on their faces.

"Now,now children. My Horace has a very active imagination. It's something that he's had ever since he was born. I appreciate the concern but I promise you Horace will be fine, healthy and happy if you leave him with me." she lamented, her condescending tone dripping off of her words.

Just as Tre was about to open his mouth, he was met with the barrel of a gun being pressed against his forehead. The metal of the barrel was cool as hot sweat dripped down his head. It matched the expression of its owner, who acted like she didn't just pull a 9mm handgun out on a teenager and two kids.

"I do understand however, that Horace probably told you some things about us and how we do things at home. You really shouldn't have heard that. So, all four of us are going to have a nice, long chat inside, ok?"

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author's note:

wow that was a lot of words holy fuck, i got carried away. but i got this from a writing prompt generator and this story is supposed to be for children but oopsie-daisy!  have an awesome day and give me some feedback. see ya tomorrow.

-dj

[sunnnet]

daily writings - ii (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/4jPh923W9D in which i write about many things that are neither related or cohesive. enjoy reading my shitty writing exercises that i, for some reason, am publishing on the internet for the world to see! enjoy. yours truly, dj

[sunnnet]

from “daily writings: i”

follow me on wattpad 

on the 20'th day of june in the year 2017

the one in which i talk about something or someone who comforts me

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I am a worry wart. I worry about things that have happened as far back as I can remember, I worry about things in my life now and I worry about things that will happen in the very distant future when I am no longer here. My brain moves too fast and I have so many ideas that I confuse myself til I get to the point where I worry about my own value and whether or not I'll be effective at anything that I do. I am convinced that when my mom was pregnant with me and my brother, God whispered in her ear,

"You know the baby that uses your bladder as a trampoline? The girl? She's going to be a legendary worrier. No, not warrior; worrier  as in anxious and jumpy."

I worry about how much I worry. I know it isn't good for my mental or physical health but I can't help it, it is the one thing that I know I will always know how to do well. I've tried so many things to keep myself calm and talked to so many people but very few of them have bore any positive results. I try imagining myself, alone, on a pink sandy beach with the sun rays kissing my skin and the ocean playfully licking my toes. But then, I remember that skin cancer exists and I'm not a strong swimmer. So then I try and picture myself in a secluded forest: it isn't too hot or too cold there, it is a perfect 80 degrees outside. The trees allow a perfect amount of sunlight to escape between the foliage. I am resting on one of the sturdy branches completely immersed in a book. Soft jazz is playing in the background. But, how did I get in the forest? Where am I, where is my family? How did I get up on this tree branch with my complete lack of upper body strength? Also, where is that music coming from? So I rush to escape into my next fantasy world. I am thrown back into a place that is familiar to me and not some foreign land this time around. It is comfortably dark in my apartment. My hair is up in a pineapple, I have a satin scarf tied around my edges. I have on a light green "Organic Root Stimulator: 'My' Olive Oil" t-shirt that has bleach stains on the abdomen and grey Yankees basketball shorts that I stole from my brother. I am tucked around my purple satin sheets and instead of pulling up my black and white striped comforter, I cocoon myself in my baby pink Snuggie. I have yet to wear the damn thing properly but it is always comfortable to lie in, even though it is the beginning of summer. And I try and think of bad things to ruin this place. And as I stare at Lisa, my companion of 10 years, I can't think of anything to ruin this place. And as the darkness lulls me to sleep I can't help but be satisfied that for once in my life, I can think of nothing to worry about.

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author's note:

prompt was given to me by my best bud and fellow amazing writer, kaitlyn. please comment on what you thought of it and what i can improve on. i live for feedback and i appreciate candidness. see you tomorrow.