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Human | Felix & Sunny

“It’s good to see you again,”

How Sunny could lean against a doorframe with a murderer before her was a mystery to him. He’d never truly get used to someone not scurrying away from him. On the streets especially; people would make a point to avoid him. They kept their distance like he was some horse that’d kick. Well sometimes he wanted to, except his ‘kick’ was far more dangerous. And it was good to see him again? That was a new one. In fact, being who he was, Felix let himself live through a brief moment of doubt. If she truly was fearful of him, then of course she’d be doing her best to be sweet. Maybe someone even put her up to it. Why would Sunny, of all people, want to spend time with Felix Shea? Nothing had ever humiliated him before, but the drainage of hope could be a start. Then came the kiss, to just as quickly tug those reasonings away. ”I doubt I deserved that.” He told her with a slight tilt of his head, for a moment dazed by the sweet gesture. For once he hadn’t flinched away from someone’s touch; something he was used to seeing from people near him.

“So… This surprise that you were talking about… Is this something I’ll experience today?”

He took her hand. For whatever reason, Felix Shea had taken this woman’s hand. It hadn’t even been a second thought, but an internal need for something that he’d been deprived of for so long- physical touch. Felix didn’t accept just anyone though, and the fact that Sunny had become the only exception was a forever mystery. Around her, Felix even thought it might be possible to love again. Truthfully it was past his current state, but with time..who knew. “It is,” he allowed, still trying to keep most of it a secret, “and I hope you’ll like it. It’s something I do if I feel…” Like an episode was coming on. Like he was losing his mind to an invisible black hole. Like he was close to nonexistence. “If I can’t sleep.” It was mostly a lie, but Felix guessed Sunny would be able to tell. He led her down the hall and then to the elevator where he paused after hitting the button. Somewhere along the way he’d pulled her close to his side, and had even glared at a few people passing. Possessive, maybe, but Felix didn’t like how anyone looked her way. Unless of course that person was him.

“I doubt I deserved that.”

There was a part of her that felt slightly confused about what she was supposed to do when seeing Felix again. They’d spent a night together, they had kissed, they had held each other in their arms until they woke up in the morning. A kiss to the cheek was just what felt safe. It wasn’t too much, and it wasn’t too little. It was a small sign of affection, which was what she had wanted to show him in the first place. “Deserved the kiss?” Sunny asked, and quirked her eyebrows up in surprise, and almost playfully nudged at his arm with her elbow. “I mean… We did spend a night together, and we did kiss… I feel a kiss to the cheek was well deserved.” Felix had this intense misconception that he didn’t deserve to have anyone important in his life, that he didn’t deserve to have anyone caring for him, but in the short amount of time they had spent together, she had grown to care for him. In what way, she couldn’t really say yet, but she did. She cared, and that was just something he was going to have to get used to. And when he took her hand, her fingers wrapped tightly around his, making sure that he didn’t let go. It was too good a feeling, she didn’t want him to let go.

“It is, and I hope you’ll like it. It’s something I do if I feel…” […] “If I can’t sleep.”

Sunny walked right alongside him to the elevator, and couldn’t help but notice how he was drawing her closer to his side. They were walking among people, and they all seemed oddly curious about the pair as they walked down the hall. Maybe that was why he was pulling her closer to him, maybe it was to protect himself. Or maybe protect her from those that were around them. “I’m sure I will. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of what it is, so you have… Gotten me excited for it now.” She didn’t know what it was he was wanting to show her, but she knew that she was feeling very excited for it. The elevator moved slowly, ad she was curious as to where they were going, whether they were going up or down. In that moment, as the elevator moved, she was just enjoying feeling the warmth from his hand, and standing so close to him. “You know… You can come to my room more, if you can’t sleep, I mean. I slept better with you there, you know. I liked having you there.”

#para: human #para: felix

felix--shea-blog

Human | Felix & Sunny

She could crush his heart into embers, and he’d still reignite.

Felix was waking up. Something about her had struck him hard. Sure he was lost- and maybe he didn’t expect ever being fixed- but would that make him him if not? Would it humanize him? Could he possibly end up loving her? She was his own perfection, and not what the Capitol told him was perfect. He could crush her skull in the palm of his hand, and yet she had him handle her with such delicacy. In a way it was infuriating. It was positively outraging. But to his shameless Capitol admirers it would be a glorious chance for a publicity gold mine. Bastards. If the worlds came crashing down, it would be impossible to let any God take her from him. He was the only God with that ability. He loved her in some strange way, but couldn’t begin to explain how just yet. Felix really wasn’t sure about what love was. He’d never felt it before. Ethereal’s death had shattered something, and his plan had always been to never uncover what was lost in those depths. The abyss could remain.

At Sunny’s door, Felix began to doubt himself. His looks, his clothes, his personality, and always his god awful attitude. He’d never cared before, and now she had him in a stupid panic; questioning his every move. What if inviting him into her home had just been an act of pity? What made him believe that Sunny had actually enjoyed his company? He was an idiot, so why did he knock on the damn door? It was too late to escape; too late to go drink alone. He knew it was only a matter of time till he ruined whatever sort of relationship they’d begun to form. Felix was good at that. He wasn’t fond of people, and that made it easy to be isolated. It made it preferable. Not to mention the small fact that Snow threatened to execute anyone he was close to. He was the Capitol’s feared Victor, and the image demanded upkeep. So how was it that sweet and charming Sunny- everything he wasn’t- could make him wish for a different life? Felix wanted her to help him escape; to break a cage and his chains. He’d lost faith that he’d never hope to see again, and yet there she was. Beautiful and delicate. Everything Felix wasn’t but wanted for himself.